How do I stop believing that people are ill-intended and are out there to just hurt me? I've been through shit as a kid and now it just stayed. I have minimal contact with people and it makes me unapproachable, I can't blame them for not wanting to communicate with me because I have a rbf and you can just wonder if that person wants to deal with you or not.
>>34368660go to a therapist and read albert ellis to correct your cognitive dissonances
>>34368660>rbfHad to search up with this meant. "Resting bitch face" apparently. I did not immediately come to this conclusion, and you know why? Because the internet is not real life. Most people do not care that much. Even if you come off "unapproachable" for a few seconds, that is just a personality quirk that is probably remedied as soon as you talk or smile a bit anyway, so I hope you do not think that is your "end all be all" to socialising. If you think you are unapproachable and people do not communicate with you, that will be the case. It is a matter of changing your attitude and the way you carry yourself.>>How do I stop believing that people are ill-intended and are out there to just hurt me?People care first and foremost about themselves. We also are social creatures. While there are a very select few truly evil people, for the most part people thrive off of validation from their social environment. They are discouraged even from getting negative feedback to fit in, much less hurting others. And another thing. Unless you were really nasty, most people simply do not care about to waste their time on you to where they would hurt you. You are not the main character and the world is not out to get you. You need to realise this and grow up.
>>34368801Yeah except back in elementary I was friends with some guy that had no friends and we vibed together, he got popular and made fun of me everyday and I was too pussy to do anything about it. Felt like everyone was up against me as he got more popular.Now this shit sort of just stayed and you can't really blame me for feeling this way.
>>34368835that's why you should go to a therapist and work on your cognitive dissonancesthe therapy itself will teach you that not all people are evil out there
>>34368835>back in elementaryGenuine question, how old are you? Do you happen to be in high school, by any chance? >>Now this shit sort of just stayed and you can't really blame me for feeling this way.This feels like a teenager wrote it. I do not mean that as an insult, I am technically still one too. It just seems this way because I cannot think of an adult who would genuinely still keep this with them. >>he got popular and made fun of me everyday I know this might seems like a large issue now, maybe it affected you quite a bit. But think about it from a different perspective. Will you be thinking about what happens even 10 years later? No. Besides, everyone does stupid things as kids. He probably has already forgot and will look at it later with regret.But you know what would be worse? If after 10 years go by and YOU still let it haunt you. So yes, I can blame you for feeling this way. You need to move on to the next chapter of your life, else be stuck as a 40 year old in misery because you let some silly person ruin your life. And as I said, he won't even remember. He probably doesn't even think about it now.If you still really struggle, you should talk to a therapist or parents. But you need to let it go. Most people have been bullied or at least picked on, but that's just a reflection on the bully, and they realise it is often nothing to do with you personally. Become stronger.
>>34368866>>how old are youI'm 22 now, if you don't tell your kid to stand up for himself then this shit will stay with him. Either turn into a massive fag (which gladly I didn't turn out to be) or become a masculine guy with messy relations with people, good thing I'm hot at least.>>I cannot think of an adult who would genuinely still keep this with them. it stays with you forever and you can only cope by distractions.>>Will you be thinking about what happens even 10 years later? No.Fuck yes I've been thinking about this for nearly a decade now and it had motivated me to learn to physically strengthen myself and be even more assertive. I am putting myself above everyone, I fuck people over if I sense they are trying to fuck me over, over the smallest things, it has become addictive. It's like I cannot function any other way because I will feel like shit about it. I have done so many things that even sabotaged my image but all for the sake of preserving my identity and morality. I hardly even recall those things I've done, not like I'm particularly proud of them, maybe only if I think about it but at least it doesn't "sting" me that I didn't stand up for myself some other time.If anything this experience had motivated me to push my limits and it was the only good thing that I've got out of it, otherwise I'm haunted by this everyday.
>>34368885>Either turn into a massive fag (which gladly I didn't turn out to be)Seems like you did though. The fact you are 22 is sad. >I am putting myself above everyone, I fuck people over if I sense they are trying to fuck me overThis is pathetic. I really hope you realise that and change, because otherwise you are set to live a miserable life. I would take what I originally said to heart in regards to people. Maybe just talking to them more. I originally thought maybe you would grow out of it, but seems to be worse than that. I get you hear stories about people getting revenge and whatnot, but that does not make it any better. I would say the same thing about those people. You need to move on. The world is not out to get you. The first step to getting help is asking for it, so you have started on your journey, but I would encourage you to go further than the internet. Strangers can only do so much. Talk to someone you trust.
>>34368660Dispel your hate. Learn to un-hate.Acknowledge you are not a child any longer.Acknowledge you are no longer where you were when you were suffering.Maybe then, you might exude a warmth for others to rest around like a bonfire.
>>34368660You're partially right, and you should expect people to hate you, especially if you're fighting for a right cause (St. Barthomew got skinned alive for his preaching about Jesus). Don't seek to appease the world, the same world hates what's right.
>>34368857I honestly disagree with this advice. While true that there are a lot of good people out there, we are by nature self focused, thinking of our own needs and survival as an instinctive trait. In other words, we are evil by nature. Most mask it and put on a fake smile, and can be the most screwed up people behind their doors closed and we would never know it (I mean, just look at where you're posting this.)OP is right to fear that people have ill intentions, because most do. If they didn't, we wouldn't need laws or law enforcement to give us the illusion of safety. It's a survival tactic, OP, don't seek to get rid of it, instead blend in with them, fake a smile, pretend they're probably good, BUT always keep in mind that they will screw you over if they don't get their way. Could be day you weren't able to help them or lend them a few bucks, or just say something they didn't agree with, then they'll show you who they really are. My advice: tread lightly, be nice and shake their hand, while clenching your fist in behind your back in defense if the time comes. Be careful who you be friends with, because the closest friend may just be your worst enemy. And I say that from experience...Keep yourself safe first, OP
>>34368857>bro spend an unreasonable amount of money for some woman to say "it's okay to have those feelings" and say "yes" to everything I say so she could eventually tell me to get rid of my instincts (that are justified) and prescribe me some mind numbing drugswonderful advice, are you a woman by any chance? Do you tell guys that their long hair looks great but would never date them?
>>34371940>>34372013Thanks mostly I'm afraid of approaching people to be honest and I talk in smallest groups, don't try to go overboard with people I can sense that are a bit "off" or not really right up there. I usually have this "favorite person", not necessarily a good person but I can predict the way they act and when I should shut the fuck up in order to not overshare, recognize their patterns etc.
