Hello, I suffer from ADHD, autism, major OCD, and MDD. All of these, combined with my own naivety and foolishness of the past, have led me to frequent thoughts of ending my life, and the appeal of it just keeps growing. What’s holding me back is a sense of fear that prevents me from acting on it. Granted, that fear has been shrinking over time, and I find myself wanting to completely get rid of it so I can fully commit and stop living in this constant, wallowing misery.I’m young and have a girlfriend, friends, a job, and an education, but all of it ends up bothering me, and I don’t feel like a real person to any of them. Thinking this way only makes me feel worse about myself. I just don’t know what to do anymore.
>>34372920do you have any goals in life? (besides killing yourself)
>>34372925Writing, I have many ideas. I live in my head a lot these days and feel ashamed that it’s all for no reason since I’m too afraid to practice. Which is embarrassing to admit.
>>34372920This is literally me
>>34372933then in your self-reflection free time, instead of suicidal ideation and moping, why not write things out? either keeping a journal or planning out stories? when i started my gay little diary it drastically helped keep my headspace in order. putting your thoughts on paper has this feeling of relief (personally) that alleviates the stress of constant rumination. it doesn't even have to be on paper either, they make little trinkets that you can even lock away like the pomera.
>>34372933I was the same with my guitar, I was always thinking of playing it, but I just didn't, until one time I just started learning to play it, and I don't regret any second.
>>34372972I’ll try this. >>34373007This too. I do practice sometimes, it’s just very inconsistent because I get scared.
>>34372920You might have less fear if the method you use has low agony and a low risk of failing.
>>34372920You could try different drugs to see which ones lower your inhibition the most. Some SSRIs like paxil reduce anxiety. GABAergic drugs like benzos are also known for lowering inhibition. You could also try taking something to raise your testosterone, like tongkat ali.
>>34372920>cowardlyThere's nothing to be ashamed of. That word is only used by fools in relation to it. Virtually nobody commits suicide while at peace, it's not a shortcoming. The only way to do it is through a mix of absolute despair, anger, rage, and confusion. Every part of your body (including the mind) will try to stop you.>>34373653>Someone who has never seriously contemplated
>>34372920hey is that pulcinella
>>34373653looks like it's carbon monoxide poisoning for me !
>>34372920My life goal is comfortably dying.
>>34372920Human nature will always make you scared of death. People who commit suicide are scared, but just do it.
