Is this too much baggage? I asked my gf her body count and she said the following1 - One night stand lost virginity in High school (he invited her over while his parents were away to hookup, didn't meet again after)2 - Hooked up with a guy she knew in High school after graduating3 - Boyfriend of several years4 - One night stand had sex 3 times with the guy same night - met for drinks, then back to his hotel. They met a couple times again when he was back in town.5 - BJ no sex with one guy6 - BJ no sex with another guy7 - Me
>>34375006It's not the numbers - it's the fact that most of them were emotionally meaningless events. I'd feel better about a woman who fucked one guy she was in love with, no matter how many times
>>34375006That is not bad compared to most.
>>34375006it seems to me that you asking for a prescription on what is too much, rather than consulting your own feelings on what is too muchFor me, every item on that list is too much, because I would feel eternally cuckolded by each of them. Some men might be bothered by the hookups, because sex with an ex-boyfriend is, at a conceptual level, sex with a man she thought she was going to stay with, while hookups seem more like being promiscuous (ie untrustworthy). Some men might be more bothered by committed relationships ending in failure, since they’re uncomfortable with the idea that she had loving, romantic sex with another man, and might just see the hookups as evidence that she has a strong sex drive. Some men might be bothered or unbothered by any of these for any reason.To me, she’s for the streets, but I’m obsessed with purity. What do you value? What worries you about her past? Do you think this will affect your opinion of her too deeply?
>>34375148Yeah, when we first dated she implied she only dated one guy and had a 2 week thing with someone that barely counted. Not until after a year did she mention that she tossed away her virginity like it was nothing and had a few times she recklessly met up with a guy to fuck or blow. It gives me the ick to know, but I guess the past is the past and it's pretty much average or below average compared to most chicks>>34375181Pretty much. I really thought she was a relationship only girl. It turns out she had some reckless fun and decided to take it slow after she realized guys wouldn't relationship her after the one night stands. I've only dated virgins in the past, so I was already pushing it by accepted a previous boyfriend, but hearing all the rest just seems like a lot of baggage. The positive note is that she has a high sex drive as opposed to the virgin girls I dated that were low sex drive (even after taking their virginity) and less attractive than this current girl. I'm not really sure I want to get married or have kids though. I doubt I'll really find a girl who's pure and willing to be my personal slut. It's like a catch 22.
>>34375006>>34375160Could be much worse OP
>>34375006Everyone has a history. She had a serious relationship which is a good sign, but all the hookups seemed very impulsive [night of] and turn me off hard.
>>34375222>I doubt I'll really find a girl who's pure and willing to be my personal slut.I did it and honestly, while it was worth it for me, I (mentally) suffered immensely from seven years of searching for even one woman who met my criteria and also liked me, and physically she isn’t even my type (though I really adore her personality and deeply love her). I genuinely can’t really recommend it because there is no way to guarantee success. If I hadn’t met her and pursued her relentlessly I’m almost certain it would take 10 years, if not longer, to find someone else.
Most people say this isnt bad compared to most women, yet this is the case with most of the women ive been with, and also see on 4chan adv. I think bpd whores really fuck up the average
>>34375298imagine writing all this with a straight face
its honestly just a pointless discussion. They all are liars. And if she tells you she fucked a lot of guys you are stuck confused because its a red flag but you also want to reward her for being honest and the honesty is a green flag. At the end of the day you just have date her for like 3 months and judge if she is a whore or not. Go on some trips together, get her drunk a few times. You have to trust your intuation because you damn sure can't trust her words. I have an ex who would have died and gone to heaven for judgement and would have straight up lied directly to god and jesus about her body count.
>>34375006Could be worse.As a general rule, ask yourself if this would be sleezy if a man did it. If the answer is yes, then it was definitely too much.Though, you may want to be honest with yourself here. Will this bother you later on? Will you be able to let this sort of thing go? If the answer is no, whether fair or not, the choice is to leave. It sucks to hear, but it's much better to leave a relationship you no longer feel comfortable with or attached to than it is to half-heartedly stay only to satisfy the principle of fairness.
>>34375381>I have an ex who would have died and gone to heaven for judgement and would have straight up lied directly to god and jesus about her body count.so fucking true
>>34375403>Will this bother you later on? Will you be able to let this sort of thing go?Yeah, I'm trying to figure if there's a way to let it go. It just bothers me since I found out. I told her last night it fucked my mind since she told me. I'm thinking I'd have to make her just more slutty for me. Last night she asked me to finish on her face and she licked everything off. I told her from now on I want her to get more creative with being my personal slut. Not sure if it's a positive way to deal with it but at least it keeps it exciting and makes me feel I'm getting the best deal. From my logic she was a basic slut for some guys but at least she can be a giga slut just for me.
>>34375381Yeah I definitely have a history that might be a lot for the average person, but we were all retarded 18-24yo trying to figure it out. A few mistakes early is fine but after 25 it becomes a pattern of behavior
>>34375582Worrying about body count is loser shit.
>>34375582>I'm thinking I'd have to make her just more slutty for meSo you cannot deal with her being slutty and your solution is to make her sluttier?How is this improving your situation?
>>34375668Idk, got any better ideas? I'm just thinking it'll let me forget her past if she was a virgin in comparison with other guys compared to how she is with me.In my previous relationships the girls were dating guys for years and I was the one that took their virginity (after a few months in a relationship)
>>34375693Amping up the sluttiness is not a sustainable solution. You will eventually only see her as a slut and be back at square one. You need to look within yourself, find out why it bothers you, where that comes from, and learn to let go. If you cannot do this, move on to someone else.
>>34375773It bothers me because I had an image that she was a relationship only girl and only found out she had slut phases after we dated a year and already were pretty hooked with each other. I was ok with the fact she had previous sexual history, but I thought it was exclusively in relationships, not because she felt horny and wanted to fuck strangers. Also bothers me because in the past I only dated virgins, so I never had to deal with any baggage. With that said, I know it's kind of unrealistic to keep dating virgins now that I'm older and not meeting through church or anything. I know it's either older chicks with guaranteed sexual history or young chicks with daddy issues (maybe with even worse sexual history in their teen years) now that I'm late 20s.
É isso que sobra pro beta
