I need some advice on where I should go at this point. Context: I'm a young, autistic ftm living in the us. I still live with my family, who are financially and emotionally dependent on me.I came out as trans 'oficially' around 2 years ago. my parents tolerate it, and my siblings aren't fond of me being trans. I got close to starting hrt but my mom begged me not to start because 1. we live in a red state and it's starting to become illegal to be trans here and 2. if I look any more gay I won't be able to get another job (the place I work at now is just part-time, I'm planning to quite after I'm done with school)I agreed to her terms, and have been girlmoding since. I've been living in a somewhat dissociative state becaucse of it, and reality is starting to get to me. I've been thinking about suicide near daily, and the only thing that is keeping me from ending it is the prospect of my family suffering without me. I don't know what to do. Either I start to medically transition and suffer many of the hardships of such, including backlash from my family, or continue to torment myself to appease others and keep my safety in mind. any advice would be great.
Transgenderism shouldn't even exist, what the fuck is your purpose mateWhy fucking conforming to gender "roles" so fucking hard that you mutilate your own body LMAO brainwashed retard
>>34376179your family shouldn't be depending on youthat's a bigger problem
Find God and accept who you truly are.
>>34376179Ignore all those other morons.Frankly, im not familiar with those issues on a personal level, but i will say this.If you keep suppressing who you are, as a whole, you'll just end up feeling miserable and crumble under the weight of impossible expectations.I think you should transition, and if your family doesnt support you in this endeavor, they werent going to support you the moment you did anything that wasnt part of what they wanted for you.Try to find support groups, individuals going through similar experiences, and do your best to live your best self.You should try talking it out with your family as well, if you can. Explain your situation, and how you feel, and how suffocating it feels. Hopefully they'll understand, and you can find safe avenues for you. If not... Well, idk. But i like to think that you should still prioritise your own wellbeing. Maybe moving out to a better area is an option?
>>34376179Why exactly would you want to be a man? Men are objectively disgusting.
>>34377171Yes, unsuppress yourself by deleting part of what makes you you (your biological gender) and removing any traces of what you were genetically designed to be like, fine strategy, totally staying true to yourself huh
