I have been dating my current girlfriend for almost 2 years and my life has slowly gone to shit. It feels like instead of helping any part of my life she has been nothing but a hindrance and everything I have accomplished has been in spite of her. I have completely stopped working out. She refuses to assist with meal planning or grocery shopping in any meaningful capacity meaning we normally eat out 5-7 times a week. Her body can some fucking how tolerate this, but mine cant. She has chronic insomnia and often expects me to stay awake with her to the detriment of my work and school. She also has SEVERE anxiety which she refuses to properly manage and often self medicates with weed and very rarely alcohol, something that I'm not a fan of because despite the fact that we're in our early 20s we're effectively recovering alcoholics due to our respective upbringings. Our sex life is effectively dead, but thats a whole different story. I have had multiple people actively tell me to break up with her. I know this just sounds like a list of negatives, but you also have to remember that I also have my own fucked up problems and she does have many good aspects. This could just be mr. sunk cost talking though.
>>34383843If your life was better before you met her, she probably is making your life worse, yes.I say you pressure her firmly to change. No more weed ever, no more telling you to stay up at night.
>>34383869I have tried to get her to change over and over again. She seems to take a few steps in the right direction and then gets burnt out. It took almost 3 months to begin to phase out eating out regularly.She gave me the ultimatum of either weed or going back on psychiatric meds. When she was on her meds, her behavior got so bad that she pushed away her ONLY friend who bothered to talk to her on a daily basis outside of work or school. She also caused a significant tension between me, her and our housemate. Weed genuinely seems to help, but not a lot, and in some cases makes her anxiety worse. It does however help with her insomnia... sometimes.Weed also makes her insanely horny which Isnt fun for me because I have almost entirely lost my sexual interest in her despite the fact that she's noticeably above average in looks.
>>34383894Try to salvage the relationship, try to make it better. If you can't, end it.
>>34383899I genuinely do not know what to do. I have talked with older individuals I know who have been through relationship problems but their advice requires long term planning (which i'm fine with) or I have tried and it has already not worked, sometimes catastrophically. The only thing I have yet to try is to just live my life like she's not there and tell her that if she wants on board then she better get with the program. Yes I am aware that this is very unhealthy but I genuinely do not know what to do. My mental health has gone to shit and I dont know what else to do.
>>34383843Leave stupid, other than the dead sex life, you sound exactly like me. Letting a retard bitch drag me down for 4yrs and making me think I wasn't shit till I realized one day that she's just a piece of shit person and that love alone isnt gonna save, carry, or salvage anything. It'll be weird for the first week, you'll miss her and stuff but be solid. Remind yourself of all the reasons it wasn't working, if you become jaded for awhile then that's ok, no one can expect you to be happy ending a relationship. Dont do what I did man, dont. My ex had 2 miscarriages and now I see that was God looking out for me not letting me bring children into this world with that woman. Get out NOW. Pussy is not worth feeling alone in your own relationship
>>34383903Why is it unhealthy? Give her bad consequences for bad behavior.
>>34383909I would need to move out and I have no real place to move out to. I could move back to my parents, but there is a reason why I left. I could try to move in with a friend, but none of my friends have the capacity to give me a place to stay for longer than 2 or 3 days, not long enough to find a place to live. Due to my line of work, I also have nearly $10k in tools and machinery that I would need to transport and properly store somewhere else and then find a space to rent and set them up in again. Due to lease fuckery there is no way that I would be able to stay at the place we're both living in as her mom cosigned the lease.
>>34383931Well then figure out a new living situation man, cause all you're doing is convincing yourself to stay because you THINK you're trapped. You're not. Start saving, work some extra hours, stack your money and get the fuck out. So long as you're working you can keep up with a small apartment for yourself. I'm telling you man....YOU DONT WANT THIS.
>>34383843Why should she assist with meal planning and grocery shopping if she isn't interested in eating any of it? Let her order out and you do your thing. If she doesn't like that that's her problem to solve.Does she get upset about you not wanting to stay up with her? Is she angry, does she feel hurt, like what's going on there. And the dead bedroom thing is concerning.>>34383931You can look for apartments before you dump her you know.
>>34383946Problem, I am primarily self employed. No I will not give details. If you were to remove my self employment income, I would make around $1000 a month, maybe a bit more. I cannot live off of this or take more hours at the place I currently work at due to a lack of work. I have applied to numerous other jobs but no one is hiring and the one place responded 4 months later with a raging lowball offer of $8 less an hour than what I currently make.
>>34383953>Let her order out and you do your thing.She refuses to, its part of her anxiety. She will not eat out unless I also eat out with her, but If I prepare food I want to make for myself she often refuses to eat it because she is a very strange eater. She isnt picky when it comes to food, but is highly picky when she eats what kind of food. >Is she angry, does she feel hurt, like what's going on there.She acts hurt. She has stated that she feels like I am abandoning her in a way. We're both quite busy with work and school (mostly her) so we dont get to spend as much time as she would like together. >And the dead bedroom thing is concerning.This is the one thing that is a mix of both of our faults, although I will be an ass and say that its mostly her. She does not like cleaning herself and thinks that 1 shower every 2-3 days is acceptable, but will then religiously clean her teeth and other things besides herself. Also yes, she is genuinely autistic, but refuses to actually seek treatment of any kind. >You can look for apartments before you dump her you know.I am evaluating my options.
You can't fix her.Also don't get into a relationship with a woman expecting to have less problems. Even a good wife will get you more problems to solve but you might enjoy the ride better.
>>34383843It doesn't sound like you'e doing her much good either.
>>34383843Just move in back with your parents. Lay out boundaries etc. Your parents wanted what was best for you.
People NEVER do something just once !You’ve known her for 2 years and yet you aren’t looking reality in the face that in fact you know exactly how the future is going to be, JUST LIKE IT HAS BEENIf she gets pregnant you’re fucked and you can’t get outEnd it now. Extricate yourself ! As a personal responsibility to yourself , the man you can be ! ( or could have been , if you allow her to kill him , oh well , it’s only everything )Not only is it not going to get better , it’s going to get WORSE! A lot worse, when she gets pregnant and there’s no exit for you anymore any incentive to improve ( possibility of losing you) that’s gone You must really love this broad to ignore what’s so obvious . Your friends point it out , and you know it (which is why you’re posting here ) . If you ignore your intuition , your sense of instinct from years and years of ancestors gifting that sense of acuity in the face of danger , you feel in your stomach , and ignore it anyway , that will result in life long regret
>weed>insomnia>self medicatingNo, force her to get real health insurance and stop smoking weed. You need to cut her out if she doesn't want to positively change with you.
