I'll paint the picture straightforwardly: My life underwent a phase of gradual improvement. Depending on where the start and end are marked, this lasted at least 20 months. I suffered a type of burnout episode in which I failed to meet inflated expectations and fell demoralized. My mental state, progression and self-improvement statistics had declined to a minimum and have since slowly and partially improved, with a large set of new ideas and lessons having emerged in my mind in that "recession" period, of a year give or take. One of the new problems I've developed is a ressurection of my imageboard habit: endless engagement bait for me to enjoy responding to interspersed with jokes, pornography and blackpilling that simultaneously slips into my permeable subconscious and stimulates my urges to produce honest counterarguments. Not pure evil, not acceptable either.What I'm asking for is:>reassurance that the type of months-to-years scale recovery I describe will actually succeed: not just "cope" but real supporting evidence>any anecdotal evidence of "personal comebacks">any intelligent commentary on the phenomenon of progression within an individual's life and its unevenness
>>34386936I have found that you can't get good at something unless you're having a good time during the process. If it's just an endless slog than you will burn out.Sometimes it's still a slog, but that just means you have to do it less often.
>>34386945I agree in principle but there is some nuance to having a good time. For example, I'm able to enjoy studying math but only if I take the time to contemplate what I've learned and play with the ideas. But in practice, I'm usually in a mental state of being behind, needing to hurry, chronophobic, so I'd just siphon the ideas from the study material through my mind and out to my notes. My current theory is that the safety to mind-wander will eventually emerge by imposing order on the course of my days and alleviating my anxiety by working consistently, but that's incomplete. I'm not fully sure how my mind can bounce about in its natural rhythm without leading to disintegration, self-harm, pain and guilt.The stronger point of disagreement with your comment is the suggestion that my choices of focus could be contingent on my enjoyment, but in my case, my focuses are set in stone. I'm not an indecisive youth.
