Hello, recently I’ve been feeling deeply insecure and, at times, suicidal about the state of my life. I am 22 years old and live with my mother, with whom I’ve never had a great relationship. Still, it feels like I’m stuck because I don’t know how to do basic things like cooking or cleaning beyond a very minimal level (dishes, laundry). The upside is that I don’t have to pay rent, but that also feels a bit embarrassing. I have a driver’s license but no car, so I use my mom’s car to get to work. I currently work two days a week and earn $200 or less every two weeks, and lately they haven’t been scheduling me much.I’m also pretty unhappy in my relationship. More and more, my girlfriend reminds me of my mother; she can be rude and manipulative, especially when it comes to getting me to spend money on her. She also complains about her weight while not doing much to change it, and she seems resentful about things like my parents being younger than hers and the likelihood that I’ll still have them later in life. At the same time, it’s hard for me to feel like we should break up because she’s dealing with difficult circumstances. She spends most of her money on rent, has only one friend, and her car is constantly having issues. I want to be there for her.There’s something that feels almost like criminally lazy about me. Even though I’ve been diagnosed with major depression, autism, ADHD, and OCD, I feel like that’s no excuse for how much I struggle to get things done. I’ll make plans for a full day of college work or practicing writing, but I end up lying in bed all day. I’ll even set aside time to play video games or watch movies, and I still end up procrastinating, just lying around feeling sad or tired. It’s frustrating.Has anyone been in a similar situation and managed to climb out of it?
One more thing: Someone I know told me that a lot of this could be helped if I found a real hobby, something to be passionate about. I’ve always wanted to get better at drawing, but I worry that, at my age, it’s a little embarrassing to go from doodles to real sketches just so I can draw creatures and pretty girls, kek.
living with your mom is fine. a lot of people i know live with their parents atm. whenever you get a car, you’ll be less worried about sharing a space with her.
>>34386998i'm in a similar position OP, but sightly differenti have a shitbox, cook my own food, but i have no jobyou honestly shouldn't be worrying about the responsibilities of a gf if they're too much right now, you should be more worried about getting on your own feet>>34386998>There’s something that feels almost like criminally lazy about me. Even though I’ve been diagnosed with major depression, autism, ADHD, and OCD, I feel like that’s no excuse for how much I struggle to get things done.you're not meant to live with your parents up to this ageplenty of people do it, it's true, and it's not the worstbut stop with the mental illness diagnoses, it's retarded right now & not the source of your problemsyour problems aren't inherent because there's something wrong with you, they'll probably resolve if you can get your own lifetry not to give up or lose sight of that
1/2 Well, the good news OP, is that you can always start NOW.> I am 22 years old and live with my mother...The upside is that I don’t have to pay rentYeah, that is actually quite normal now. People just don't talk about it. Mexicans and Asians and some Africans do multi-generational housing. Whites are really the only ones ashamed about this.>I’m also pretty unhappy in my relationship.Either leave or have an honest, THOUGHT-OUT conversation with your girl. I want you to write down all the things that are problematic/make you upset and score them 1-10 on priority, with 10 being extremely annoying a 1 being something you can just compromise/deal with. Only when you've done that do you bring it up. If you try anything else, it comes out as an emotionally charged mess and you'll make it worse. Also do it in private at a neutral, quiet location, IN PERSON. No texting this shit.Also, what is wrong with her car? Do you know a wrenching buddy from work who would want some beer + money to fix a car? You can fix a lot of problems on a car if you can find two mechanically inclined dudes and you can give them 300 bucks, parts you got off Rockauto, and a couple bottles of liquor.>She also complains about her weight while not doing much to change itPlanet Fitness is 19 bucks a month. Go together.>Has anyone been in a similar situation and managed to climb out of it?Yes. I was. I put myself into a mental hospital after a culmination of workplace abuse and family abuse made me crack like a window. I learned many things that apply to your situtation1: Nobody is coming to save/fix you. Not your girl, not your mom. It's on you.2: Nobody makes you do anything. There are consequences for your actions, yes, but you could just leave and be a homeless dude if you want to.3: Rome was not built in a day and you are not fixing your life in 24 hours.
>>34387454>>34386998>There’s something that feels almost like criminally lazy about me....I still end up procrastinating, just lying around feeling sad or tired. It’s frustrating.Fundamentally, the main issue with your life is that you let it become a problem, and now you realize there is a problem, but it's overwhelming and then your brain shuts down because trying to cram all that information down your brain's pipeline overwhelms it, so you simply do nothing, lie in bed, and take no action.Problem is that life is a constant battle with maybe 10% happiness, joy, and good rest. The remaining 90% is work.So I would do this:Get a few sheets of paper. Yes, paper. First page, Write goals for the week. Second Page: Write Goals for the Month Third Page: The Year.Now take those pieces of paper and put them into separate journals. Space out a few pages for each one. Journal each one like it's an in game quest log. What you did, where you failed.
Your life is already together. Quit thinking that adding a bunch of ornamental crap changes the fact that your life is biological. Simply live. Just be. Everything else is icing on the cake.
>>34386998>Even though I’ve been diagnosed with major depressionAre you taking medication to treat your depression? You should take it; if the depression goes away, your life will improve greatly.
>>34387108Yeah, I was worried about including my diagnoses in there, but I figured they’d provide a little context. Thank you.>>34387454I’ve tried to have a conversation with her before about her consistent negativity, and she told me she wasn’t negative enough, then started pouting for like 40 minutes.She refuses a lot of help, so I don’t think she’d trust me if I brought in other people using her car. She was just complaining that her roommate might leave and that she won’t be able to afford the rent. Then I said she could live at my place for a bit, and she was very dismissive; she said she’d rather die. Then she complained that I didn’t sound excited enough about the idea in my text.She also doesn’t want to go to the gym; she doesn’t like the atmosphere.>>3438745466Alright, I’ll try this out. Thank you.>>34387666But doesn’t it help to get better/more mentally stable, satan?>>34388224I haven’t taken meds since middle school. I worry they’ll fuck me up as they did back then. Though that was more for ADHD than depression.
>>34389047Error in tagging >>34387466
>>343890471. Go to a psychiatrist.2. Ask them to prescribe SSRIs. If you are sexually active or masturbate, ask for bupropion or an antipsychotic.
>>34390733I tried to see one this month, but I ran late and won’t be able to see them until June. I’ll ask next time.
>>34386998Don't spend money on the gf. You don't have any money. Be firm, somewhat aggressive if she is attacking you. Match her energy.
>>34390968this
>>34386998>Diagnosed with ADHDOk, assuming you went through a clinical evaluation process and got formally diagnosed, why aren't you on medications? This isn't a hunter-gatherer society anymore, fellow grain-eater.>Major depressionCould be caused by ADHD, it should not be considered a definite part of diagnosis.That's why i sort-of-suspect you haven't gotten through a formal evaluation.>OCDWhich type(s)? If you haven't been formally diagnosed with these things and you're struggling with organization, specially a prolonged period of time, please do.Don't waddle in online self-assessment. It doesn't do anything unless you're trying to rake in sympathy points.You should be taking your mental health more seriously.
>>34393530I explained it at the bottom here >>34389047All I know is these are on my official medical records and have been for a while.
I have OCD very bad unfortunately these days. I wish I had someone to talk to.
>>34387454>Whites are really the only ones ashamed about this.even most whites do this, only anglos are pathological about kicking children out
>>34396948Do you try ERP?
>>34386998god i wish i could still live with my parentsbuddy you could have thousand of dollars each month from even some dumbass job comoletly saved. You could travel anywhere, multiple times a year. you could put all that money into investments. you have the time to research your investments. most of us are lucky if we can save 10% from our full-time paychecks.Dont do anything you dont want to though. It wont happen anyway.I dont want to give advice on the gf, but man I dont think I would be doing that one. How is her situation special? Completly normal+shes lucky she has parents at all(if theyre not aholes). I think youre just insecure and scared f dropping ur only chance of waman. Sociopathic advice: Meet a new girl while still with this one and break up with her then. Even if you are a selfproclaimed loser if you have gf women will find you viable. From my expirience either all girls like you, or there are no girls. I think forcing yourself to do anything is a waste of time, but you should do one month of 40h a week fastfoodworker to get a perspective.you are lucky. you are free. this life is nothing but a sport and a pastime.
