>>34388566
Beating off furiously because you're ngmi with women

>>34388566
Having some fat in the face is fine and healthy.
Do not mold her into a hotter version of herself. Better to get into a relationship and promote healthy habits (for the both of you) that will likely keep her skinnier anyways.
Just go on a date if you think there might be something.
Better yet, go on a walk. It's both relaxing, intimate, and will quickly reveal if she is out of shape.
It's okay to be chubby but trust me when I say a girl who scorns moderate exercise will limit your activities to an irritating degree.

>>34388566
Don’t tell her what to do, people don’t like that. I’d recommend first telling her not how she should change her behavior, but how her current behavior makes you feel. If that doesn’t change her behavior, then you tell her what YOU’LL do as a consequence of her not changing her behavior. If that has no effect, then you execute the consequence. If that has no effect, then eventually you have to threaten the basis of the relationship and leave it if things don’t change.

However, the advice above only applies if she is enough emotionally invested in you, which she is not right now. The best thing to start doing now is to bring her into your life style and make her own unsustainable. So if she doesn’t exercise and eats shit, hand out with her while you’re doing an exercise (even walking) or eating healthy. Don’t mold yourself to fit into her life, let her mold herself to fit into YOUR life.

>>34388586
>Do not mold her into a hotter version of herself
I guess the problem is that I feel like I'm not attracted to her enough to want to marry her, obviously this is still very casual, but being real, eventually I am going to want to get married. Now you wouldn't ordinarily want to date a girl you're not crazy about, but I feel like if she had a small glow up then I would be that into her. That's the struggle.

>>34388622
>but I feel like if she had a small glow up then I would be that into her
People are better off without you

>>34388640
Look up "wife was never attracted to me" on Reddit.

>>34388622
>guess the problem is that I feel like I'm not attracted to her enough to want to marry her
Do not focus on whether or not you'll marry a girl before you even a go on your first date. Obviously, there are certain qualities that exist as exceptions to this (for example, one should not date a girl who doesn't want kids if they themself wants children one day) but for the most part the only question that matters right now is: do I like this girl enough as she is now to go on a date presently? Also, she only asked you out anon. You are not committing to a relationship only to an outing. You do not have obligations beyond that once you agree to go on a date.

>>34388616
This is a little psychotic. Putting an ultimatum like that on something so trivial as a few pounds is a deathwish for the relationship. If she was obese sure but like OP said it's just casual now. It's not your job to fix people

>>34388678
>do I like this girl enough as she is now to go on a date presently?
Well the answer to that is yes. I've just seen my friends drift through aimless relationships, wasting tons of time and energy, and I don't want that to be me. I suppose there's a middle ground somewhere.

>>34388704
>Well the answer to that is yes
Then that is enough. Go on s few dates and see where it goes.

>seen my friends drift through aimless relationships, wasting tons of time and energy
I understand the reluctance but this is simply the state of dating. Some people get lucky on their first try but for most others it will take multiple dates and numerous hopefuls to find someone compatible.
Women do not typically fall into your lap, you'll have to go out there and look for them. This can be a tiring and demoralizing process but not participating will likely guarantee that you'll remain single. The time your friends have invested is believed to be wasted until it finally bears fruit. Like a mason splitting a stone, only once the block cracks does realize the value of his efforts.

>>34388770
I'm not saying they're wasting time dating, they're wasting time not breaking up with girls they know they don't want to marry.

>>34388783
Nta
You've got a point. If a matter of 10 pounds can effect whether you find her attractive or not you can't risk having kids with her or aging together. The relationship has an expiration date already.

>>34388799
Everyone looks better when they're lean. It's not that I'm not attracted to her at all, more a matter of degree.

why you NEVER ask a male out lol

>>34388698
I agree that it would be way overkill to threaten a relationship over something that is trivial. Doesn’t make sense. But you don’t get to define what’s trivial and that’s up to OP. I just gave him the steps to escalate it and he can stop at any one of them if it’s not a dealbreaker.

“It’s not your job to fix people” is also right. People should be free to make their own decisions and live how they want to. My advice does not contradict any of that.

>>34388818
Someone can't handle rejection

>>34388823
Yeah I think the steps you laid out are fine, you're making clear boundaries and that's something she has to respect. I do think that the scenario OP describes is inherently trivial though. If it's not a dealbreaker it shouldn't even be brought up. Girls don't like being negged about weight when they are most likely just fine, a little unhealthy at worst

>>34388818
How do you mean?

>>34388783
>wasting time not breaking up with girls they know they don't want to marry.
Unfortunately it will often take awhile to realize that fully. Time spent dating is time spent exploring an option. It is only wasted if the experience teaches you nothing or if you knew definitively you weren't going to marry someone from the get-go (again, the "having kids" example).
Do not be afraid to waste your time. That kind of thinking is a mindkiller. Not every decision pans out but inaction will keep you motionless. If you trade away the possibility of growth for the certainty of the your present condition you will live to regret it. You will need to risk "wasting your time" to gain anything.

>>34388823
>Don’t tell her what to do
>first telling her not how she should
>then you tell her what YOU’LL do as a consequence of her not changing her behavior
>you have to threaten the basis of the relationship and leave it if things don’t change.

You told him to threaten the relationship over it tho

>>34388843
I’m not really convinced it’s trivial for OP. If it’s trivial then it would not require a thread here. Regardless, we don’t know and OP can decide that.

>If it’s not a dealbreaker it shouldn’t even be brought up.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with bringing it up. If my girl is doing something that bothers me but isn’t a dealbreaker, I could just let her know that it bothers me, makes me feel disappointed, but that she’s also free to do it and I don’t want to stop her.

If your girl was bothered by something you were doing, would you want her to let you know? Not make you do anything different, but just let you know how it makes her feel. There’s a chance that the activity is not that important anyways to you and you can stop with ease.

>>34388862
See >>34388823

>>34388874
>you have to threaten the basis of the relationship and leave it if things don’t change.
I'm just quoting your own post back at you

>>34388566
Fag OP. Why can't you make the decision and are resorting to us?

>>34388877
Oh yeah I mistook the wrong post you replied to. But I also don’t get your point.

>>34388879
>the decision
I'm gonna go out with her, I just don't know what to say. Or if I should say anything

>>34388881
My point is that the advice is contradictory.

>>34388831
the opposite. they want to date women they dislike from the start, that's just wasting everyone's time.
men really are the meme gender ngl

>>34388889
I don’t see the contradiction. More detail would help me understand.

>>34388864
That's fair, I can disagree with OP all day about how this trivial for 90% of people but if he sees it as important there's no changing that.
> If your girl was bothered by something you were doing, would you want her to let you know?
Honestly not really. If it's not bothering me to the point of frustration I see no reason to bring it up. Can't really think of an example either, maybe chewing too loud but that sounds like an "ick" that normies would use

>>34388892
I never said I dislike her. I think she's kinda cute and I like her personality.

>>34388902
if that was true you wouldn't have made this bitchy ass post lmao.

>>34388909
Why?

>>34388909
This. Quit being a pussy and go eat her pussy out.

>>34388698
>It's not your job to fix people
This is true to an extent, but isn't part of the purpose of a relationship so you can each make sure the other one is thriving as much as you possibly can?

>>34389116
That's when the relationship is established. I'm talking about the context of the talking stage. If she's got too much shit going on I'm out

>>34388909
It's okay he's just retarded, I'll eat his gf and your pussy too queen, just present it, and I'll never tell you to change. I'll promote healthy habits but I'll never make you feel bad for failing to uphold them, only positive feedback and no pushing

Now let me suck that hole let me suck that hole real deep and suck that clit and DRINK you

>>34388892
>the opposite. they want to date women they dislike from the start
Plenty of men do exactly the same thing when they ask women out, too.
And those cases are typically even worse: men who find women physically hot but otherwise don't care.
They're pretty easy to filter out, but most women are unwilling/unable to actually put in the effort to do so (not having sex without actual commitment), so those kinds of men are never short of targets.

>>34388566
Work out. Bodymaxing, is that what it’s called?

>>34389868
leanmaxxing

>>34389879
Yeah, that. Then invite her to work out together. Never ask her to lose weight

>>34388570
this 200% lmao