I have been dating my current girlfriend for the past three months. We have a lot in common and I enjoy her company a lot. Seeing and hanging out with her gets me out of a rut instantly whenever I’ve been having a bad day. All that being said, I find myself desiring other women and asking myself if I maybe rushed into a relationship when I should’ve taken it slower. For context, she gave me an ultimatum pretty early after we had started dating where she gave me a two month window to make things official or she’d stop seeing me. She also stressed that I needed to take her seriously. I find myself thinking that I maybe would’ve liked to explore other options first before making that commitment. I’ve also come to learn more about her and there are some personality traits which I find problematic and some that I outright find off-putting. What’s done is done obviously, but I’d like to know if any of you have had a simular experience or have any advice on how to sort out my feelings so I know how to move forward.
>The neighbour's grass is always greenerDon't lose what you love for what you think you want
>>34388718Yeah, that’s what I’ve been thinking could be the root cause of the way I feel. Maybe I’m just comparing myself and my relationship to other people’s.
>>34388700>2 months to figure out if you want to be officialThat's completely reasonable you just don't like her that much
>>34388700>For context, she gave me an ultimatum pretty early after we had started dating where she gave me a two month window to make things official or she’d stop seeing me. She also stressed that I needed to take her seriously.Lol what are you doing bro you just bent the knee to her. You can’t let her make ultimatums like this. This is negotiating with terrorists. You just can’t do it even if it seems reasonable or beneficial even.
>>34388753You think so? Maybe it is, but even though I like her, it seemed to me like a way to force the outcome she desired. She confessed to me (after a month of being official) that she was crushing on me for a long time. I guess I should find it flattering, but I feel confused nonetheless.
>>34388776Shit or get off the pot. Becoming official doesn't mean you're locked in forever it just means you promise not to fuck anybody else and introduce her to people as your girlfriend until you break up. I'm not sure what you're so bothered about. You committed to putting in the effort to see whether or not she's someone you'd like to marry. Seems like she's not, so dump her I guess.
>>34388788I think it’s obvious why I’d be bothered. I care about her and feel conflicted since I also think that I maybe rushed into a relationship. It was evident from the original post that I harbor mixed and conflicting feelings as a result. That being said, I recognize the behind your argument. However callous it might be
>>34388822I don't see how you rushed.Do you mean that you wish you had looked for other options before pursuing this girl?Because if you think you should have been talking to and going on dates with 3 different women at the same time and then pick one rather than explore what a relationship could be with one at a time then you're just doing a "grass is greener" thing that's not actually any better.You're exclusive with someone you're fucking, this is normal and you need to get over it.
>>34388847Shit, I think you hit the nail right on the head. I guess it is a “grass is greener” situation. I just don’t know how to stop thinking that way, maybe.
>>34388875Happy to help. Personally I think there's two ways of looking at it right nowEither you haven't gotten to know her well enough but you're anxious about how long it's taking to feel any kind of real emotional connection OR, you just don't like her that much and want an excuse to leave.From your original post it sounds like you do want to see where this goes you just are judging yourself for not getting some strange first or something stupid like that. It's just fomo. Good luck!
