Hello! I'm sorry if this isn't the place, I'm not sure where to post. I am a 29 year-old man. I am someone who has made a lot of mistakes and has been quite lost in life (no relationships, friendships, over 8 hours on pc almost every day since highschool, don't know who I am, my likes, interests, feelings, etc.). Not too long ago I had started attending a CNC program to learn how to use a CNC machine and to more generally get used to going out again and used to people and social encounters.It has been up and down. I have been attending it for roughly 2 months now and while I have been able to get more used to people and am a bit more comfortable with social situation, I have noticed (I'm not sure how to put this into words) that more and more I have been having almost zero will and focus to do anything after coming home. I completely lose contact with myself, as if I'm frozen inside. Nothing is moving. I can't talk and be myself with people online (trying to make friends), it's almost impossible to do homework and study for the program, I borderline want to self-harm as if to stim or something, and otherwise want to spend all of my time on my computer or hide myself in my closet.I noticed this after last week spending Thursday and Friday (and the weekend ofc) at home. Thursday and Friday were harder, but the weekend was different. It wasn't perfect, but I was able to talk to friends, do house chores, work for the program and was relatively positive about it. Now come today, Monday...and yeah.Does anyone have any suggestions or ideas what's going on? If any additional questions are required, please ask. Thank you very much.
>>34388872>had started attending a CNC program to learn how to use a CNC machine
>>34388888?
>>34388872I'm fairly similar and also 29. I have similar experience where if I try to go out to progress life, the comfort of my home gets worse. It's like it invades my home. I also hate it when I have something scheduled up or if my family calls me, it shatters the peace and breaks my routine and safety bubble of my home.Related theory: Generally when you want to fix up your life, it helps to do something drastic to completely leave the old life behind. This is because people work by habits and associations. If you are going out to build a life, but come home, where you have your old life and old habits, your life and identity gets split in halves that don't quite fit together naturally. The old stuff doesn't feel the same because you have the new stuff, but the new stuff feels unreliable. For me the issue is that I don't trust the people and don't have trust in the process of building a new life.Basically, you could either jump into the new life and new people fully and build new sense of security that is naturally connected to the new life. Or treat the new life as a disturbance to your peace that needs to be cut out.
>>34388872Funny. I'm also 29, same story as you and the poster above me. I think a gf is the answer, I'm just going to assume both of you are single rn.I'm trying my hardest to get a gf because that's the only person who can give me a sense of self and make me feel like I'm someone. I'm a nobody without a girl I'm romantically involved with who sees me, and through being seen by her I have a sense of self, but it cannot happen in a vacuum. I completely lose myself as soon as I come back home and I'm alone.This has sadly been going on for 2 years now, and in those 2 years I went from always happy and lots of excitement for life and no desire to ever ever ever kms, to considering it and having zero excitement for life and that love and excitement I've always had for life.
