*have pmdd* *me f24, him m30**found dating apps on boyfriends phone 3rd sleep over* (I ‘moved on’ from this because he told me he just forgot to delete them) My boyfriend said he would like me to move in when he moves to his next place as it would be good for him to have something to base his life around and he’s lonely and hates just working to survive. But he also feels as though it not going to work because I have mental issues. After this I asked him why he wants me to move in, what particularly does he want me to change. He said he wants me to stop being upset all the time. Isn’t really something I can help, it’s and involuntary reaction. The jist of what he’s said is we need to commit for break up now, we have almost been seeing each other for 4 months. This morning I asked if he wanted to break up, he said he couldn’t do this anymore which I took for a break up. Then he called me and said the same thing, not officially broken up but that he’s sick of my shit. I’m even more sick of my shit and can’t continue living in my head, I can’t inflict this man with my bullshit. He was my only hope at getting away from my mum and home town. I don’t know what to do other than die at this point. He’s also mad I asked to see his hidden apps folder. All I ask is for reassurance but I know how draining that is when I need it constantly and am going insane every 2 weeks. I tried to break up with him after the dating apps thing because I knew I would be a terrible girlfriend. I don’t know how to let go without killing myself, I have no support. No one will ever live up to him. I’m also autistic and genuinely can’t do shit. I think I should just break it off tomorrow and go and rope because I can’t deal with the cycle anymore. My feelings for him are so strong I know they won’t ever go away. I know I won’t ever get over my mental health issues.
>>34390274That's really sad. But you have 2 real optionsTry talking to him again and asking him to give you another chance. If you can pull his heartstrings enough he can let you back in and he might be able to help you improve There's always more fish in the sea. I know it might not seem like it buts there probably a lot of other people who'd be able to connect with you
He also thinks I don’t love him and I’m just addicted to him which isn’t true. Last time we were together just this Friday was great until I missed my pill (has a 3 hour window) by 4 hours and I felt my pmdd symptoms come on immediately. This sleep over was great aside from on Friday when we discussed braces and I told him my concerns as braces recess your face and he was telling that h don’t know more then dentists. I don’t need need braces but he wants me to get them despite the face what I need is a pallete expander then braces. But he wouldn’t even acknowledge what I had to say, and we both agreed it was a stupid ‘argument’ because we can’t even afford braces. I don know what to do because I can’t live with myself anymore and he’s sick of me coming to him for support. He even said if some one injected my brain with “it will be okay things are okay” it still wouldn’t take. I genuinely think I just need to die I know hanging will be quick. But I’m scared he would find out even though we don’t know anyone in common and I live a 2 hour train away. I can’t keep begging the people around me for the bare minimum, I can’t continue this pathetic existence. I can’t have everything ride on a relationship I’m not good enough for. I have a dog but I’m not even good enough for him.
>>34390297Tell him how much you love him thenKeep your emotions in check. What do you typically do that stresses the relationship? Can you give some examples?
>>34390284Not happening we spoke and he is just done with my shit. But I don’t know why he’s not just cut the cord, I can’t sleep this is just agonising. I can’t find anyone else no one. I can’t inflict another person with my shit. The chances of me finding some one I actually like is so slim.
>>34390302I asked him why he disappears for an hour every Saturday after work. I get upset that the one day he doesn’t call me is the day I really needed him so I presumed he doesn’t actually care about me. I begged him for over an hour to not go on holiday abroad by himself. He likes to take hiking holidays. One week I just felt like ending it all so I called him, he didn’t pick up so I called his phone number. He got upset I didn’t ask to call him before phoning and that I’m insane for spam calling and that he was watching a film. I just stayed on the phone and sighed because I didn’t know what to do then he told me to go to sleep after 20 minutes.
>>34390274you sound like you love the chase and "pull push" stuff you are into being emotionally manipulated hence creating drama and being with some insecure "incel" not to mention ur family sounds like shit hence u liking shitty "boyfriends" boyfriends is too much of a word for them more like idiotsyou are autistic and very vulnerable its not our job nor his to fix you but atleast be more understanding since you both are in a committed relationhe obviously is cheating on you, being in a relation as an adult means being transparent he is far away from that and has a "hidden" folder, MULTIPLE dating apps and gaslight you into hating urselfi doubt any guy would let his gf get away with having dating apps and a hidden apps folder let alone being that shady and controllingbeing realistic ur a dumbass victim and cant help urself but like abusive men best suggestion is get on SSRIs, seek a therapist and have some healthy relations and steady life (home, job, be in contact with a family memeber) good luck
>>34390274Have you done anything like talk to a doctor and take steps towards treating your disorder?Loving someone that has a medical condition can be hard but if you're actively working on controlling it then the ball is in his court to decide if he wants to support you or not.Relationships are a two way thing
>>34390317>He got upset I didn’t ask to call him before phoning Ur literally his bitch wtf LMAO bpd foid cant leave her dumbass "bf"
I’ve tried so many ssris they don’t do shit for me it’s like taking morphine while getting your leg actively burned off. I’m on the pill which is meant to stop my periods, stop the pmdd cycle. I missed one pill and everything has gone to shit in 72 hrs.
ur still a dumb bitch with no backbone nor any self respect anyways so dont blame the ssris dumbass
>>34390344
I think you're a stupid woman. He's obviously cheating and you still put him on a pedestal.
>>34390274Holy shit do women really
>>34390274Try progesterone. Progest-e is a good brand
>>34390274>Isn’t really something I can help, it’s and involuntary reaction.No. Being a chronic downer is exhausting to other people and probably a main point in your depression that you should be working on.
>>34390274Wdyll Anon. Pic preferred.
>>34390274Autism is difficult, mental health and autism is even more difficult. I don't have much advice for you other than don't kill yourself, and try to find more men who are interested in you. But when they come, try not to terrorize them with your insecurities, any man would run from that and it doesn't matter WHAT you're diagnosed with. So do these two things together: 1) try to worry less about being cheated on, and 2) find a boyfriend that is less unsafe in his behaviors, so if having dating apps on his phone after you agreed to be together bothered you, get a bf who wouldn't do that
>>34390274Sounds like this guy is trying to run a company and he's tired of putting up with you
>run a company>yeah i see the ceo daily, im very busy attending the coffee and beverages to him
