I had a long conversation with my mother about religion and philosophy. We used to be really close growing up, but I stopped talking to her after dropping out and neeting for several years. I was suicidal, and I thought it would be easier for her if we didn't talk for a while before I did something. It continued for a couple of years, but today I spoke to with her for a while. I'm not as depressed anymore, but it's always rearing its head. I probably shouldn't have done it, but we talked just like we used to and it was nice. I usually just post on /int/ when I get lonely, but they've been ignoring me lately. I end up hurting those who love me the most, whether its by being a shut in, or something worse I do to myself in the future. I just wish I was never born. My mom's the only person who cares about me and kms would hurt her the most.
>>34391188You need to be more forgiving to yourself. It's how normies do it.Even if you are objectively a lazy bastard undeserving of any grace, tell yourself that's ok and try to be better.
>>34391188She is not disappointed in you, she is disappointed FOR you, that life hasn't given you all she would have hoped for you.
>>34391188I was depressed and I hated myself for not being good enough, neeting, whatever. If you're just neeting, you're neutral or close to 0 on balance. You're not actively shitting up the world or ruining others lives. You could've been an addict trying to steal money from your mom and killing her in the process accidentally. That would be a legit problem and a reason to hate self. You're upset that you're not +100000 in your head, but guess what, that's pride. Go be a +1, +10, +100, whatever you can be. Bring your mom flowers. Pick them yourself in the park. Bake her something. Do small things you can do to be a +. Stop thinking you have to be +1000000 from the getgo.
>>34391326>>34391418>>34391437Thank you for taking the time to give me advice, frens. I really appreciate it.
>>34393145Ye I hope it helped a bit buddy. You're not poop, you ended up in a crappy situation in a society that depicts top 1% success as normal, and anything below as failure. Imo as long as you're not in a hospital, life is enjoyable, and as long as you're not actively harming people, you're good, if maybe a bit retarded.
I mean nigga you feel sorry for your mom and care about hurting people so that's decent, a lot of people would throw others under the bus and be fine, don't let that heart go to waste.
