having an understanding/caring gf to reassure you helps a whole whole lot

>>34393718
I cope by not taking my pills and eating garbage food
I met someone off this board recently and I could tell they were just putting up with me because they thought i was hot physically and the experience left me feeling empty. I feel like a retarded himbo and life is just meaningless. I'm so fucking stupid, I'll never move up the later and become a real adult

No idea OP. It's a huge problem for me and it's only gotten worse. Getting reassurance from friends or a partner used to help, but no one fulfills that role for me anymore and no one has in years. I'm so lonely.

>>34393718
Not well
I've gotten better about keeping the outbursts private and not flipping out on someone until I've had 20 minutes to decide if I'm overreacting or I was actually disrespected or hurt and not engaging in negative self talk 95% of the time but the rest of it? I dunno.

>>34393718
The way I cope is by stopping the behaviours that lead to "RSD". Which would be people-pleasing. The reason RSD happens is because typically the individual is in this gay cycle of fearing rejections so they are overly 'nice' to try and prevent others from rejecting them.

And when that person does that ass kissing routine long enough, resentment builds because they become obsessed with the "Golden rule" (treat others how they themselves want to be treated).

Then the person may instantly snap and notice when someone didn't pay them the Golden rule. If someone isn't as neurotically people pleasing as they are? Big blow up and a tantrum. Especially if it's from someone they had been ass kissing, then they ruminate

>"Why did they say this? Why didn't they do this for me? Why after all, I'm so nice to them they are not seeing my niceness, on purpose is it? They are hostile they are fucking me over fuck fuck"

Then a blow up happens or a flash of anger and all because the "RSD" nigga had fell for the "golden rule" meme. The golden rule meme is absolute horseshit. Once you stop following it, the RSD goes bye bye.

Why is it bullshit? It sounds so lovely right?
"Treat others how you wish to be treated"
It's because it's toxic positivity. It's a relic of narcissism but spray painted gold to look 'nice'.

Why narcissism? Closely examine it.
>"Treat others how you wish to be treated"
>How (you) wish to be treated
>(You).

It's entirely self referencing. It's not even about the other person, it's about you.
A real golden rule should be
>"Treat others how THEY wish to be treated"
This reinforces the practice of actually connecting to someone and considering their boundaries and/or wishes.

But the fake golden rule people pass as the real deal "Treat others how you wish to be treated" only considers yourself and that's it.

>>34393954
>>34393718
One last bit about the
>Golden rule

It was popularized by Jesus' sermon on the mount, from Matthew 7:12
>"So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets."

In the context of when it was said, and specifically who it was said to, the message isn't the same as the modern interpretation. Modern interpretation is "Do the things you want done to you to others".

The real meaning is "Don't do to others that you wouldn't want done to yourself".
This is the correct meaning of the verse. Simple and eloquent, describing Law. You wouldn't want your stuff stolen? Don't steal from others. You don't want to be lied to? Don't lie to others. Etc.

Somewhere along the lines, humanity bastardized the original golden rule to mean "Pay niceness to someone because surely they will pay it back." Which just counts for becoming an emotional debtor.

And when those emotional debts go unpaid, "RSD" happens.

>>34393718
i simply avoid people
i don't have meds either because it's not taken seriously here

>>34393718
I just approached the opposite extreme: instead of burying my disdain, discomformity and aggressiveness, I bathed in it, sick and tired of swallowing it. You need to overcome fear somehow. I just stopped caring about whatever happened to me; I told myself I could endure it all, and that if I couldn't immediately, I wouldn't care.

>>34393960
You can always be kinder. It costs nothing.

>>34394824
>It costs nothing
Not true, it has a cost. And that cost is honesty. When you force kindness, you betray how you actually feel if you happen to have a day where you don't give a shit or feel bad. Forcing or faking kindness at that point is the fastest way to become dishonest with yourself and others. This passive people-pleasing dishonesty has long term consequences.

>>34393960
How do you deal with RSD when it comes to showing your work to your boss or drawings to friends? I’m constantly afraid people will laugh or hate me

>>34393718
stop taking rejection personally
rsd is because you think rejection is a personal attack and you have a visceral reaction to it. let's go through some examples here

>you submit your artwork to an art show and it's rejected.
RSD: you suck, your art sucks, you're an embarrassment and a failure
Reality: your art didn't fit the theme, there were too many submissions, etc etc and your skill as an artist actually has zero weight on your worth as a human being
>You ask Susie out and she says no
RSD: You're an ugly worthless broke piece of shit and she's leaving to go join Chad's harem
Reality: Susie is gay and not compatible with your penis

>>34393718
chlorine dioxide protocols

>>34393718
>RSD
I have most of these symptoms. What's the difference between RSD and ADHD and autism?
Do I have to add RSD to the pathologies I have?

>>34397146
Btw things kinda improved for me the last few years, at least when it comes to anxiety. I was scared of people and going outside for most of my life but these last few years I started having some feelings of community and a desire to socialize.
One thing that has helped me is reading books (non fiction mainly). My knowledge got so much greater and I got a different perspective on everything that helped me see that there is not much reason to be scared. Beyond this I don't know what advice to give because life made me a hard determinist. Fate has decreed that some people must suffer much more than others. If you're lucky enough to not have adhd (at at least a non severe version of it) you can meditate. I cannot do meditation because of my terrible adhd but both science and practitioners say that it gives wonderful, if not miraculous, results.

>>34397146
ADHD typically has RSD, sensitivity to real or perceived rejection or criticism.

Autism can sometimes have RSD if they also have ADHD as a comorbid disorder (which is common for autists to have both. Around 40% of all autists have ADHD). But if it's just autism, they don't have RSD. They have something very similar to it: Fear of Abandonment complex.

RSD Vs. Abandonment complex is hard to set apart since they both mean overly focusing on someone else's words or behaviours out of hypervigilant fear of a consequence. But the difference is the outcome.

An RSD type fears exposition, being exposed, viewed as weak, inferior, stupid, clueless, weird, a loser, a deadbeat, a defective human. Their fear is about how they are perceived by people they respect.

Abandonment complex is a fear of loss, losing someone's respect or love or loyalty, being given up on, being left behind, tossed away or neglected. Their fear is not about being exposed, their fear is people refusing to even see them.

ADHD & RSD is paired because ADHD life is one of extreme lack of focus and cognitive difficulty and repeated failure to function at tasks. This develops a severe low self esteem in ones own capabilities. Rejection becomes a kryptonite that stabs into that low self esteem, almost as if it's proof of the ADHDs greatest nightmare: That they are broken and beyond repair and so another person's rejection feels like confirmation of that nightmare.

Autism & Abandonment is paired because the autistic experience is about struggling with sensory issues leading to not internalizing socialisation development. Autists have to mask to 'fit in' into the world. They constantly feel alone and anxious inside and they desperately want acceptance. Abandonment is their kryptonite because it brings the nightmare of loneliness to life.

>>34396376
>How do you deal with RSD when it comes to showing your work to your boss or drawings to friends? I’m constantly afraid people will laugh or hate me
Show them it anyway, even if you fear criticism or mockery. Understand that you enjoyed your work or your drawings and you already got your validation from yourself by bringing your passion to life. Your judgement on your own passion is good enough, anything else is just a bonus. If you encounter genuine criticism, enact a rule with yourself. Do not speak do not react. Pause and count to your 10 in your head. Take a deep breath and ask yourself: Is this criticism about the work/art? Or is it about me? If they are only criticizing your work or art, then it's harmless. In fact it can be a source of improvement if you lay attention to the criticisms and use them as queues to adapt. If the person is criticising you personally and using the words "stupid" or "worthless" or "dumb" and clearly attacking your character, then you can say it's not a rejection it's an outright insult. When that happens you need to be the one to reject them. By ignoring them or cutting them out of your life.

>>34397177
>>34397146
Oh and it goes without saying. If someone has AuDHD aka Autism + ADHD combined, they will suffer the nasty combination of both RSD & Abandonment complex together.

But here's where it gets funky: They will never experience both fears at the same time. They will have a moment of one and then the other in a cycle. This is because when the human mind has more than one disorder, it never operates 2 disorders at the same time. The human mind instead layers them. It will be autistic for a few hours, then adhd the next. Sane is true for any combination of mental disorders, the human mind can't run two at the same time. Only one at a time.

This is why people with multiple disorders run into existential or identity crises and are confused as fuck about who they are or what to do in any day to day function. Because they internally keep getting contradicted by their own mind whenever a shift occurs.

>>34397162
>One thing that has helped me is reading books
how tf do y'all read books with ADHD?

>>34397251
Hyperfocus.
I read the entirety of Isaac asimov's 'foundation' series, the hyperion cantos, and all the expanse books in just a couple months.
I didn't really internalize much of the book(s) but I can give you the broad strokes and retell some of my favorite parts :)

>>34397177
>>34397205
>>34397227
Gold, anon. Thank you so much.
>ADHD and autism go in cycles
Interesting, I always heard they counteract each other in most moments but I honestly have no clue if that makes intuitive sense. I will try to spot if I’m doing ADHD things like RSD or autism things like abandonment fear

Coping is for short term issues. Stop coping and look to fix the issues.

>>34393954
>Treat others how THEY wish to be treated"
That sounds like people pleasing.

>>34397784
It would be if it was only one way. That's where boundaries and standards come in. If the other person isn't treating you how you would like, you get rid of them.