My girlfriend and I split up on Sunday after two and a half years together.We still loved each other to the end, but we’re both in very different phases of our lives at the moment and couldn’t find a way to make it work. That wedge just kept growing deeper, and we realized that we needed to cut it off or we’d just keep hurting one another. We didn’t want to get to a point where we resented or hated one another.I’ve lost my best friend and I don’t know what to do. I’ve had breakups before, but none have felt nearly as crushing for me as this one. I tried going to my family for advice, but they never approved of her in the first place, so all I ended up getting was lecturing about how it wasn’t the right fit anyways and that I just need to chin up and deal with it. Any mention of me being sad about the ordeal is just met with a “you can’t let yourself be upset about this.”All I want to do is text her, tell her about my day, hope that one day we can make things work. I don’t know what to do or who to talk to.
I'm sorry OP, I've been there before. It takes about half as long as you were with someone to get over it, and there's multiple parts of a relationship to mourn losing. The romantic love, platonic love, doing things with someone, sharing parts of your day with them, and any plans for the future, to name just a few. Get yourself some friends to talk to and try to stay busy, but try to make some time to grieve as well. Find ways to cope when you're alone/at night, that's when it will hit you hardest. And if you need to, talk to a therapist.
>>34394770Unironically hit the gym and go for heavy weights. I can you give you more pointers if needed, but basically the physical stimulation and exhaustion will keep your mind off it extremely well. It worked for me.
>>34394832Thank you. I think the thing that’s hurting me the most is all the things I can’t share with her right now. We had to go long distance about a year ago as I moved away for grad school, and though that she’s been basically the only stable thing in my life. I don’t have any good friends in my new city and all in all I’m extremely lonely a lot of the time. She filled that void for me.We had our issues and it was hard, but it was also so much fun.>>34394842Some pointers would be helpful. I was a swimmer in Uni so I’ve only ever done polymerics/light weight exercises. Heavy lifting is somewhat alien to me.
>>34394864That's going to make it a lot harder to move on. My last major breakup was right before lockdown started up, and it really screwed me up not having the same outlets and support I would usually have had. You need to make sure you find people who can support you.
>>34394882I have my friends from back home who I talk to online, but that’s somewhat in consistent and I only see them in person about once a year.I’ll try to find some social groups around town. This is the first time I’ve been fully “alone” so I’ve gotta learn some things I guess.
First, you need to accept it's over. Chasing her will only push her further away. You need to try as hard as you can to lose hope in things ever being the same again. You also have to think you will be okay without her.As difficult as it is, you need to delete your photos together. You need to delete your texts and remove her from social media. Not doing this kept my wounds open for literal years. It goes a long way.Lastly you need to cope in healthy ways. Work out, take up hobbies like painting, video games, writing stories, playing an instrument, reading books. Whatever. You just need to find something that will get your mind off it for minutes at a time. Before you know it minutes become hours. Hours become days.My family was also zero help with my breakups. In fact they made them worse. You need to find friends to confide in. Good luck
>>34394909I put all of my photos with her and such in a hidden album on my phone. I can’t quite bring myself to delete them yet, but having them out of sight is helping a bit. I put the physical things that remind me of her under my bed for now.
>>34394935NTA, I don't think you need to delete them really, just don't look at them. My photos with exes are parts of my own memories. I would like to keep them. They get sorted out and labeled and shoved into a backup hard drive, but there's no real reason to delete them so long as you aren't torturing yourself with them which would delay the process of moving on indefinitely.
>>34394948Okay, I’ll try to practice some self control with it
>>34394998At the very least make them enough of a pain in the ass to access that you aren't going to go bank to them without good reason or moving on until you've got that self control. Good luck.
IDk but from what little you shared the reason for breaking up sounds like absolute bullshit
>>34395105How come?
>>34395350NTA, but if you love each other still, it seems like a shame to throw things away after two years. The issue of long distance is absolutely a problem, I don't know what else was, but if you were able to manage it couple's counseling, diversifying your support network, and relocating to be with each other in person again would've been my suggestion. But we don't know your story, we don't know why you broke up, and we don't know whether that would've been enough to save it. Still, it seems a shame from an outside perspective to throw away two years when both parties still love each other. But don't let some randoms on the internet decide for you. Whether it's the right call or not is between you and her and involves information you didn't mention.
>We still loved each other to the end, but we’re both in very different phases of our lives at the moment and couldn’t find a way to make it work.first step is to stop lying to yourself lmao you got dumped bro
>>34394770>reverse image search this drawing to find the artist>your thread is the only sourceWtf?Is this an AI image or did you or someone you know draw it? Either way it looks great.
>>34396367I found it on [spoiler]Bluesky[/spoiler] like a year ago. Can't find the link for the life of me, sorry.>>34395438Yeah there was a lot more to it than I mentioned in the OP, but it's not all that relevant to the thread. Definitely chewing on that stuff on my own though.
