I just ran into a guy i knew from high school who i hadnt seen in 10 years and we got to chatting. As it turns out they actually hated being around me, he explained that most of my friend group at the time was being paid $100 week to hang out with me and spy on me to my parents. When I called a close friend about it he said he thought I knew all about it. How do i reconcile this?
>>34396921>I just ran into a guy i knew from high school who i hadnt seen in 10 years and we got to chatting. As it turns out they actually hated being around me, he explained that most of my friend group at the time was being paid $100 week to hang out with me and spy on me to my parents. When I called a close friend about it he said he thought I knew all about it. How do i reconcile this?i assume you live independently from your parents now? i hope sobest thing you can do is try to live your own life independent of that shit, and make your own friends now
>>34396926i live mostly independently from them but my finances are in trust to my mother because of my autism. I guess i am more in shock that all those memories and moments i had werent actually because i was fun to be around or loved but because my parents were paying people to keep tabs on me. I dont know how to confront them about this. How would you handle finding out your parents did this?
>>34396931Talk to other people to get more clues about what happened in your past from a non-autistic pow. Chances are that you don't have just one misinterpretation
>>34396956I ve asked a couple others too since i discovered this today and it only confirmed what the first few said. They all assumed i was in on it. They never actually wanted anything to do with me other then the cash my parents were giving them behind my back.
>>34396931>I dont know how to confront them about this. How would you handle finding out your parents did this?like i said, DON'T confront themtry to get fully independent from them as soon as you canlive your own life & make it so your parents become a small part of it, or cut them off entirely, and try to make your own genuine friendshipswhat they did was fucked up, and the WORST thing to do is to CONFRONT a family member, especially when you're still dependent on thembetter to quietly extricate yourself from the situation & decide what to do from thereit shold be finejust try to live your own life like i said, and if you have too much trouble, you can talk about this with a therapist, it would probably help>i live mostly independently from them but my finances are in trust to my mother because of my autism.get ur finances out of there, or get some other finances..make a bank account if you don't have oneetc
>>34396962I mean ask them to clarify other areas in your life that you were so sure about.
you don't HAVE to cut off your parents, and you can still confront them in the futuremy point is it's better to make those decisions only once you're fully dependent on yourself, got it?
>>34396965i feel like i ve been living in a Truman Show situation. I have my own bank accounts but almost everything i have is directly controlled or monitored by my mother. I have to ask permission to do any major purchases or plans ahead of time. I thought it was the right move but now i am wondering if its just to control me instead of help me. I think i am going to have to go find a lawyer and get some legal assistance with this.
>>34396974You have to remember not to spiral into another delusionExample: just because the official narrative on the Holocaust isn't all true doesn't mean the camps were all fake and no jews died.
>>34396921I wouldn't be upset about this. I wish someone gave enough of a shit about me to do stuff like this. this is Fairly Odd parent's level of goofy love shown to a child. it's actually wholesome. don't look at it as you're so unlikable that someone had to pay others to be around you. look at it as your parents love you so much that they're willing to go this far to fake giving you a normal life. Sure, it's fucked up, but they at least had good intentions. It's like finding out you were living in a simulation and none of the shit you experienced was real. I wouldn't be upset about that if you had fun. better than if they let you be a social outcast at your most vital age of development. that likely would've done more damage to you. they were trying to protect you.
>>34396921Which would have been the worse childhood - having no friends and knowing everyone thought you were weird, or having the illusion of friendship and the real (even if paid for) experience of interaction with others?
>>34397242OP is definitely better off with the illusion. his parents basically paid to give him the blue pilled experience and he is better off for it. he might be a far more negative and miserable person if he grew up feeling ostracized. Humans are social creatures and socializing, even if it's fake, is healthy for the brain. not socializing can cause permanent developmental damage.Look up the effects of solitary confinement. it's considered a brutal form of cruel and unusual punishment even though you aren't actually physically hurting the individual.
>>34396921I'm sorry to tell you this, but most childhood friendships are based in money. Not all of course, but if Jimmy always wears cool clothes, has amazing birthday parties, has cool video games, etc. then he will be more popular than Timmy who has ratty clothes, birthday parties at the park, still plays snes, etc. Your parents were just more directly involved, but they did it because you are autistic and they wanted you to have some friends. Was it wrong? Maybe. Would you have been miserable and bitter if they hadn't? Probably. You probably are more likely to be able to socialize as an adult now because they paid for practice for you as a kid.You're an adult now, you have surely made at least 1 non-paid friend. Don't let your whole world view shift over this. Frankly, kids are stupid and even if they were getting paid, they probably wouldn't have been able to keep up the facade if they really hated you. They seemingly thought you were in on it, so the kids didn't go out of their way to lie to you.Obviously this taints your memories and is painful, but it was a parenting mistake made with good intentions. You probably should have control of your own money anyway though, now that you're an adult.
OP, no one here is going to be candid with you. Your parents are bad actors just like these people>>34397102>>34397242>>34397301>>34397976Dont gaslight yourself into thinking what your parents did is anywhere close to normal, or out of "good will" in some disingenuous mental gymnastics way.
>>34396921>$100 a weekFor the entire group or per kid? How long were they your friends and how many friends did you have?
>>34399464my real friend group of 5, they were getting about $100 each weekly if they were coming over after school. I still dont know all the details, i am having coffee with one of them this weekend he said he will explain how far it went. >>34399305i was going to say i dont think i have ever heard of anyone elses parents forking over money to their kids classmates to be their friend. I knew my parents were a bit fucked up but i never knew it was anything close to this.
