>>34397056
It's called "masking". When you dial down your personality (or crank it up) to fit a social mold it's called masking. It's like choosing a mask to wear on your face to blend into whatever the social situation calls for. It makes sense to you and is probably how you've always navigated social situations. But you forget about something critical: Other people's PoV.

Imagine visually in your head that you are looking at yourself through the eyes of someone else. Try and imagine that, really visualize it and then try to emulate your own behaviours to yourself a different you were watching yourself from the outside.

If you are able to do this, you will realise something: People on the outside aren't seeing a mask, they see a face. And whenever you mask, only (you) know it's a mask. Everyone thinks that mask is your face. When you switch your masks up on the inside, on the outside people see a reflective change of mood that seemingly happens randomly and abruptly. And they worry and get confused because they can't understand why this changed so suddenly. They begin to ask "what's wrong?"

If you are unable to contemplate this or accurately witness yourself in your own head and it's all blurry and you are invisible inside your own head, that's like sense of self kicking in, aka autism usually.

Don't worry about that if so. Because it means you have the answer to who you are and how you experience emotions. You experience then as a deck of cards, you lick and choose which one to feel. Other people don't choose feelings, they happen by themselves.

Yes there's two different types of humans. Those who can choose feelings and those who cannot. It's a bizarre revelation but it's true.
The ones who can choose feelings are maskers usually. The ones who can't usually have no mask, but a larger ego. The two types compliment the other.

>>34397064
>That's a lack of a sense of self kicking in*

>>34397064
interesting. i’ve heard of masking but i always misappropriated the definition in my head. this is a much clearer version.

i can definitely imagine myself. when i do, i guess i can kind of see why someone who’s normally so outgoing and happy downshifting is startling. i can definitely see that.

i suppose it just hurts me in a way, as if im a designated anchor and without me being my usual self, the energy of people around me just collapses in on itself. it feels almost like a burden. it makes me feel like if my mood changes, then everything is dependent on me.

i do tend to have trouble removing the “mask” when others are higher energy bc of these conflicting thoughts. i am emotional not by own my choice 99% of the time, but it’s only this specific scenario that dictates my mood.

is there anything i can do about it? is this bad?

>>34397077
It's not bad, it's just some socio-emotional desynchronizations and hang-ups, it can't kill you or harm anyone else. It's a pain to deal with no doubt, but it's not bad in the critical life or death sense.

Sounds to me like you perform a certain way to appease others and make sure they don't feel bad because of your mood. Like you feel responsible for other people's moods then, so you modulate your own expressions and outward moods to try to get others to play nice. This is called "people pleasing". Something I struggled with my whole life too.

Yes there's something you can do about it, by letting go of doing anything about it. It's a paradox I know, but it means letting go of control and letting yourself have the bad moods more often and more frequently without caring how it makes others feel. Trust they will handle their own emotions and that you don't have handle it for them because that's exhausting for you.

Or likewise if your mood is high energy and manic and you feel you need to tone yourself down, don't do that either. Keep going and let yourself flow the way you wanna flow.

Focus only on actions, your own action. If your actions show you have not harmed anyone then there is no harm. If people are feeling hurt because of your own feelings, they are what we call "neurotic". That's their problem, they can work that out themselves.

>>34397097
i see. honestly, i was way worse about it earlier in my life. i eventually removed almost all of it, as i was getting to a point where i didn’t feel like myself. restricting my happiness, it wasn’t like now, in fact i have almost the opposite type of thing going on.

i like this idea, bc i personally love being myself so much. it makes me even happier to be as happy as i am, and uplift others. it hurts to retain a remnant of the need to lower myself since i’ve worked so hard on undoing most of it.

i will absolutely try my best to focus on myself. i want to be the one that pulls others up and makes them laugh and talk (if they want to, of course!).

i posted the thread really down about it, but i think this has really helped me. you’ve made me look at it a completely different way. i’ll end the night strong and carry that into tomorrow.

thank you so much.

>>34397110
No problem at all, you're very welcome. And yes when it comes to matter and the mind or spirit bad our internal perspectives of them, remember that "good" and "bad" or "right" or "wrong" does not apply in that realm. Those are for matters in the outside world, matters of action. Only then can we say something is right or wrong, through the action. As far as thoughts or feelings go, you don't got to worry about trying to find out what's right or wrong. Cuz it's not necessary. It's just perspective. A human should have fun with it, rather than worry about it. Enjoy experimenting with uncountable perspectives and let your imagination soar my friend. Have a good sleep!

>>34397118
>When it comes to matters of the mind and spirit and our internal perspectives of them***