I made a thread a couple days ago whining about how hard it is to get a gf and that I'm nearly 30 and haven't had shit since my ex cheated on me 2 years ago, and I was asking advice about dating appsWell, I mentioned that I got 3 matches on the dating apps I downloaded 2 weeks ago: a single mom, an autistic girl who identifies as asexual, and a fat girl.The fat girl decided to keep flaking on our call, the single mom kept asking to call but never followed through, and the autistic girl actually met me Tuesday, my second date ever (with my first one being 10 years ago). We had a nice walk, only a hug in the end. Then Wednesday I went over to her place. This girl never cuddled, never kissed, never did anything, but we had such a nice day together (I felt autistic too desu) and boys, we did everything except for sex because literally the morning of the date I got a condom to put in my bag, and I was like no man, she's autistic, a virgin, what are the odds, I put it in my bag, and took it out, twice. Eventually left it out and went without it.Turns out we did everything except for fuck, and except for her sucking my dick. Like wow I did not expect that. I'm seeing her again next week. Here's the thing, this is uncharted territory for me, IDK if she'll want to be my gf or how it will look like, but getting a slight confidence boost is good. Though I have to say, I felt like killing myself when we went out to the supermarket, I felt like the whole world was staring at me like I'm autistic and stupid. Being with an autistic person made me feel more accepted, it's like she doesn't care what the world thinks, so refreshing.In any case, I still hate dating apps, but now I can't deny they they work. I'll be a repeat customer
>>34397558If you do not have serious intentions with her, do not play with her feelings.If you don't see yourself, at one point in the future putting a ringer on her finger and a baby on her womb, do not have sex with her.This is my advice to you, since we are on the advice board. Never have casual sex, it's not worth it.
>>34397558If you're worried about a dead bedroom, since she's autistic she probably doesn't mean asexual as in she doesn't like sex or have a sex drive, she just means she has no interest in hookups.
>>34397558>haven't had shit since my ex cheated on me 2 years agoTry a better laxative
>>34397736While it's true that he shouldn't knowingly toy with her feelings, it's also too early for either of them to know how serious he or she wants to be. They're going to have to spend some time together to figure that out.>>34397558OP, this sounds nice, and promising. Obviously you don't want to push her into anything, but from the way you're describing it, it doesn't sound like you needed to! I hope things work out well for you. Just always bear in mind that this is completely new for her, and (I'm guessing) fairly new for you, so both of you are going to fuck things up on a regular basis. So both of you need to expect the other person to fuck up sometimes and be really patient when they do. And both of you need to make a real effort to talk regularly about how you're feeling, how things are going, and where you'd like them to go. This is true in any relationship, but it's particularly true if at least one person is autistic: you can't expect an autistic person to understand the other person's feelings (or even their own, sometimes!) so verbalising things is essential. Never get mad at someone for not doing something unless you actually asked them to; if they say something weird, always stop and think "Is it possible they didn't mean that the way it sounded?" - stuff like that. Oh and, if you haven't had an STD test since your ex, get one; and be *really* careful not to get your new girl pregnant! Condoms are quite reliable if used correctly, but a surprising number of people don't use them correctly. And if you're going to be fucking regularly, you might want a back-up strategy.
>>34398011Thank you, indeed she didn't expect it and I didn't expect it but we both were ready, and we communicate constantly, it's so sweet. Regular check ins and asking how it's going and how she's feeling, I think I vibe really well with her autism which is why she appreciates me. We have a lot in common too.We're seeing each other next Wednesday, I am her first everything. And after we met yesterday she said that she is not sure if she's having feelings at the moment, and there's a chance that she's still asexual, and that she wants to see where it goes &that she's open for a relationship, but she doesn't want to force anything. I think that's fair. I let her know that I'm into her and that I think feelings aren't magic, they're something you have to build towards, so as long as we're still seeing each other we're building something. And then she said "definitely, we shall see :)" and that even if it doesn't grow into a relationship, at least we still had/will have fun.Earlier, she told me she never loved anyone and never did anything romantic, so she quite literally doesn't know what having feelings is. She's still a woman at the end of the day, and she can choose to end this whenever. I'm going to keep seeing her and keep myself together, it's not like I have any other way to see women, she's literally the first date I had in 10 years.I'm processing my feelings, it felt amazing to be with a girl again, and yeah I'm going to have a week to sit on these feelings now and realize how much I want her, but I'm going to try and keep it together until then so I can survive and have enough time to build something with her without freaking out, to give her a real chance to fall in love with me.And to the people saying I'm playing with her that's not a correct assumption. I'll be the best bf if she wants me. I do have to take care of myself though and find a gf, cuz my will to live is not that high anymore and a gf really helps me with motivation for everything.
>>34397793Yeah I think you're right. She told me that asexual just describes her best as of today, because she's never had anything and she's okay with being single, but it could change. She quite literally doesn't know what romantic or sexual activities feel like because she's never had them (until yesterday with me at least) She also identifies as demi romantic, she explained that it means she doesn't want anything romantic until she has a very strong deep bond and feelings for the other person. I think these definitions probably help her to define herself and her sense of self as a person with autism. That just sounds normal to me. And I'll give my own opinion from time spent with her - it seems like she's super open to having a partner and a bf. That being said, the curtain came off, she's been with me for two days in a row, we connected emotionally, sexually, and as good friends, and now it's up to her body and soul to decide "do I miss him, do I miss what we did together, am I attracted to him, do I want to still have him around, am I willing to put all this effort into him despite already having quite a hard autistic life, or would I rather just be alone?"This is my guess.And I'm going to keep pursuing her. The thing is it's like a ball with forward momentum, I remember having a gf 2 years ago - motivation came naturally to me, I had excitement for life, things were going because I had the energy to stand on my two feet and say "I'm gonna do that", in large part because I had this person to go home to, and love with, and care for and be cared for. So, I'm hoping to get this ball going again. 1/2
2/2It's all still fresh, I just came back like 12 hours ago. But as usual overthinking will start, and I asked myself the question, "do I do dating apps still?", and well I think I will because I just don't get any matches from them, in the off chance I do get something I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.As much as I like her I hate the fact that women can just get men easily at the flick of their finger while I'm out here being lonely to the point of wanting to kill myself.I want to be like those guys that go on 1-2 dates a week, that sounds like a fun life. More fun than the lonely hell I've been stuck in for the past 2 years. But as of right now I'm no don quixote, I'm just going to sit here like a good boy and see what happens next week. And maybe use the fact that I had the fattest nut yesterday and a good time to my advantage, by starting to make better choices in my life.
