I managed to get my first gf at the ripe old age of 28. We've dating for about 6 weeks and have been on about 15 dates now. She's very sweet and I like her a lot. She likes me a lot too.We've kissed and hugged and held hands but she doesn't want to have sex until we're engaged. She's not a virgin and we've done other sexual things; I've performed cunnilingus and she gave me a footjob earlier today unprompted.Being a virgin at this age is a huge point of shame/embarrassment for me. What should I do? What's going on in her head? She's Chinese if that matters.
>>34400391>She's not a virginWas she engaged to her previous partner(s) when they had sex?
>>34400391>she doesn't want to have sex until we're engaged. She's not a virgin
>>34400395I don't think so, no.>>34400398She's worried that it will change the relationship and either me or her will leave.I'm not really sure why.
>>34400391>incel>footfag>chinese
>>34400403I may be incel but I'm not a footfag. She just started doing it.
>>34400399>I don't think so, no.And that doesn't concern you?
>>34400409It does, that's why I made this thread.
>>34400408no woman on earth could start stroking my dick with her feetyou footfag incel
>>34400391She’s testing you to see whether you’re just a beta provider or a Chad.
>>34400443How do I pass this test?
>>34400399>She's worried that it will change the relationship and either me or her will leave.She has a lot of baggage man. This is a gigantic red flag shes been pumped and dumped numerous times, and isnt smart enough to see that youre a good man who won't do that, and is punishing you for it. Best bet is to get drunk together. If she doesnt drink, shes the worst kind of woman, and possibly not even attracted to you
>>34400391You're doing fine. She has every right to set her own boundaries, and they do not appear to be too rigid. Nor does your virginity seem to be causing any actual problems. Enjoy and be happy.
>>34400446>She has a lot of baggage man. This is a gigantic red flag shes been pumped and dumped numerous timesI don't think it's necessarily a pump and dump thing but it does seem like she's quite bad at picking long-term partners. I've just extended basic courtesies to her and she thinks I'm the best man she's ever met.
>>34400391Lmao @your life
>>34400443this image is the best AI slop I have seen. top kek
>>34400399>She's worried that it will change the relationship and either me or her will leave.>I'm not really sure why.It's worth digging into but not necessarily an investigation you need to be performing at the moment. You can talk about it later. For now, just say that's fine and that you don't intend to rush her into anything. Presently, it's better to drop the topic so she doesn't feel like you're only interested in getting into her pants.Broach the subject in a few months. You'll need to understand whatever baggage she is holding onto to make any progress. Do not bring up marriage or even consider it right now.
>>34400813>You'll need to understand whatever baggage she is holding onto to make any progress.This was a discussion we had earlier today. She just told me to trust her that we would act differently, and that she doesn't trust me enough yet to have sex. Which confuses me because she's willing to do oral and asked me to finger her. Is there really much of a difference?I suspect a bigger reason is some past trauma she had as a child, which I've convinced her to see a therapist about.>Do not bring up marriage or even consider it right now.She brought it up and mentioned that since we started dating she's completely changed her life plans (no longer planning on emigrating). I told her it was way too soon to be thinking about that.
>>34400876>told me to trust her that we would act differentlyEventually you'll want to figure out where this belief comes from, but like I said before, no need to do that now.>suspect a bigger reason is some past trauma she had as a childWhat informs this suspicion? Did she say something that would suggest childhood trauma?>I've convinced her to see a therapist about.So to clarify, she is presently seeing a therapist?>no longer planning on emigratingOkay, so she had plans to move and has since abandon them? Where exactly was she moving originally? Away from you? To you?
>>34400391>We've kissed and hugged and held hands but she doesn't want to have sex until we're engagedThis seems like a problem.
>>34400920>Did she say something that would suggest childhood trauma?Yes. She's sobbed into my arms while talking about it twice now.>she is presently seeing a therapist?Yes, she just started.>so she had plans to move and has since abandon them? Where exactly was she moving originally?Yes, she was planning on moving but then she met me, and now she wants to stay.
>>34400945Alright. Given what you told me she isn't to likely have sex with you anytime soon. She'll need to work through some stuff and there really isn't any way to accelerate that process. Additionally, providing additional pressure will likely erode her trust in you and only serve to harm the relationship even if it somehow leads to sex.If you like her and are fine with the way things currently then continue dating. Be happy with occasional head and feeling some titties.If you're not happy with this arrangement and don't particularly care for her more than any other girl then leave and continue your search.
>>34400391>I managed to get my first gf>She's not a virgin>I've performed cunnilingusWelcome. She owns your mind, body, and soul now.
>>34400399gross, good luck with that bro.betabux, kekeroo
>>34400395How much do you love divorce/dealing with divorcees?
>>34400391>She's Chinese if that matters.there's a small chance she and/or her family are trying to scam you out of money/property, but i wouldn't worry about it unless you have reason to think it's happening>>34400391>I managed to get my first gf at the ripe old age of 28. We've dating for about 6 weeks and have been on about 15 dates now. She's very sweet and I like her a lot. She likes me a lot too.> We've kissed and hugged and held hands but she doesn't want to have sex until we're engaged. She's not a virgin and we've done other sexual things; I've performed cunnilingus and she gave me a footjob earlier today unprompted.> Being a virgin at this age is a huge point of shame/embarrassment for me. What should I do? What's going on in her head?get engaged i reckonif you think it's a good ideaotherwise, talk to HER about it, not fucking 4chan.com/r/relationshipadvice
I feel like she's using sex as a reason to force you into early marriage... that's just my opinion tho... definitely get a prenup just in case she's after your dough.I wonder if she's legal. She may be marrying for money, or visa/citizenship, or whatever. Or, best case scenario, it's a culture/family thing for her to marry first before sex in which case you have nothing to worry about. BUT, you did say she wasn't a virigin, implying either she got around when she was younger and it didn't go anywhere, which is why she wants to marry to secure this relationship...Regardless, I have a bad feeling about this...
where was she going to "emigrate" to before she met you? could just be husband shopping, the Chinese do it all the time, most of them don't have any inherent morality, unless they're Christian
>>34400980>she isn't to likely have sex with you anytime soon.That's a shame...>Be happy with occasional head and feeling some tittiesIt's pretty nice and she's happy to do it basically every time she comes over.>>34401263>I feel like she's using sex as a reason to force you into early marriageI worry this may be what she's doing. That or she's genuinely fears that I won't actually commit and am just trying to use her for sex.>>34401575>where was she going to "emigrate" to before she met you?Scotland.>could just be husband shoppingShe did mention that she's getting to the age where it's expected she'll be married...
