Every time I try to do the right things: focus on school and go to the gym, I just easily quit and remain unfocused. This is an issue I struggle with for several years, I want to do what I need to do but it's like my brain won't allow me to do it. Change feels legitimately impossible because of this. If I was forced to do it, like I'll lose my limbs if I don't succeed then yeah I'd take it serious. But nothing is forcing me to do what I need to do to make my life better. I'm already 25 and struggled with this ever since I was a teenager. As a consequence I work in some shitty minimum wage job while also being fat but I still can't muster up the legitimate effort to change my life. I don't think change is possible for me under my circumstances, or at least it feels that way because I constantly fail every time I want to do the right thing. What the fuck is wrong with me? Am I going to forever be a lost cause? Am I just permanently too stupid and weak willed to succeed?
>>34403188Your brain is divided into different parts, and one is taking more control than the other now.One part is telling you: "I must do this. I need to do this, it's for my own good and it has to be done."The other part of your brain is saying: "This is not worth it, it will be hard, what if it fails and leads nowhere? It's much more comfortable to just scroll on my phone and play videogames."The second one is taking control over your actions now. You have acclimated to paying more attention to it than the other part.How do you fix this? I firmly believe that we must create our own systems because only we have the answers for our problems. Look at your past. Was there ever a moment when you actually committed to a goal and did it until the end, no matter if it was a success or failure? Try to find what move you, what motivates you, then try to avoid the typical traps that make you abandon the task early. I recommend you read the book atomic habits to better understand this process.
>>34403188> If I was forced to do it, like I'll lose my limbs if I don't succeed then yeah I'd take it serious.But that is obviously not the case. Sorry dude, but you are lying to yourself and that is just the plain truth. Because right now you got something far more valuable than your limbs on the line, you got your fucking life on the line.Sometimes we aren't the person we thought we were, happens to all of us. I'm no different, I've been hit with several reality checks in my life. I breezed through school in my early years and ended up being overweight and working minimum wage shitjobs when I was in my mid-20's just like you. I really had to face myself, my weaknesses and my insecurities before I could change for the better.Good news is, you are still young. A lot of people are in exactly your shoes, except they are 10-15 years older and it's honestly too late for them to make a real change.Good news is, you are still young. So here is my advice for you.1) Clean your room/apartment. This is underrated as fuck. You need to have a clear headspace before you can do anything serious. When you wake up you want to focus on the things you need to accomplish, rather than chores you left undone. It doesn't matter how late in the night it is, never go to sleep if there is as much as a sock on the floor. This will also hold you accountable to yourself, something you desperately need.2) Go to the gym. Seriously, nobody is going to look weird at you, and the place isn't this intimidating hellscape that the internet would like you to believe. Do a Push, Pull and Legs workout routine and stick to it (look it up, I dont bother explaining it here but it's the most common routine out there and for good reason). Besides the gym, walk a lot. I assume you already get some walking done with your job, but take a 30-minute walk sometime in the day every day. When you lose weight and build muscle, your confidence and your focus will grow with it. Plus chicks dig fit dudes
>>34403303(Part 2)3) Get a skill. I assume you are american, so trade school would probably be your best bet. Anything really is better than minimum wage, and you will get both more money and more respect if you can fix shit4) Start meditating. Your focus is shit because you are the victim of brainrot, a very common thing in your generation. Doomscrolling has cost you your time, attention-span and general optimism. Sit down on the floor with your legs crossed, close your eyes and focus on your breath for 30 minutes every morning and 30 minutes every night. This might sound boring, and it is, but that is the point. Most people are afraid of boredom, but if you want to learn valuable skills, you are going to be bored for most of the time. Besides meditating you should also heavily restrict your use of social media, porn and snacks. Your dopamine levels need a reboot, because they are fucked right now.5) Whenever you don't feel like doing something, whether it is gym, cleaning or whatever, listen to some David Goggins on Youtube. The guy has a really interesting story and has been in your exact position at your age, but he overcame that and has a really interesting life story. The guy can motivate me to go to the gym at 11 PM on a saturday night, so I know he can motivate you as well6) This is the last and by far the most important advice so pay close attention to this. Believe in yourself. You have low self-esteem right now and I get it, when you have been a fat loser for most of your adult life, that shit sticks. Even receiving a compliment stings, because you don't really feel like you deserve it. I have been exactly where you are, and I know for a fact that you can do this. There is absolutely no reason why you can't.
I'm in the same situation, I'd rather not create another thread about it. If anyone has any suggestions I'd appreciate it.I already know what I'd like to do in terms of career and hobbies, but I lack self-esteem and I keep second-guessing myself. I can't commit to anything long-term because I think "what if I regret it?".Even if I decide to commit to something, the other big issue is that I can't organize myself. I wish someone would just tell me step by step what I need to do and handhold me through the entire process of doing something or learning a new subject.I mostly bruteforce my way into doing things just by attacking the thing until it's done, but this only works for smaller tasks and not for multi-year projects.I realize that in the end it's just a matter of doing or not doing the thing you need/want to do. I want to do the thing, but I can't get myself to, as weird as it may sound.
>>34403188you very likely have ADHD. the only way youll ever change is if you experience something traumatic that pushes you to change your life (for me it was being homeless and realizing if i dont get my shit together im literally gonna die of cold) or get medicated.
>>34403188You're not going to get answers from /adv/. That's is what therapy is for. It costs a fortune but it's worth it.
