My family is very anti-alcohol for both religious and personal reasons (my uncle really struggled with alcohol and has been in and out of rehab). She was brought up on the opposite side --- they drink for any occasion and see nothing wrong with it. I'm not sure to what extent this could be an issue. She also mentioned about having gone to bars (to celebrate her 21st) and even suggested some bars to me, which I found a little off-putting.
>>34403502People tend to make worse decisions when they are intoxicated. I will leave the nature of those decisions to your imagination.
>>34403502Does she get drunk often and engage with you in that state? Does it cause problems? If not, then probably not an issue. If so, then it likely can become an issue if its frequent enough.
>>34403547Wow, what an accurate statement.
>>34403502not really a big deal unless its her entire personality. some people dont have any hobby besides getting drunk. i would say your family being religious is a bigger issue
>>34403502Whether this is an issue or not depends entirely on what you mean by "drinks". If she goes out once a year on her birthday, has two glasses of wine, and then goes home, who gives a fuck? If she often has a glass of wine with dinner - but only one - again, who cares? If, on the other hand, she drinks 5 cans of beer a day, 7 days a week, this is clearly a very serious problem. You've given us no idea where, on a scale between those two extremes, she is.
>>34403502alkies tend to cheat
>>34403613It's somewhere in-between your first and second option. She is a more casual drinker, has alcohol in the fridge and may pull it out on friday nights or with dinner. This just feels alien to me since I was never exposed to it (mom always called it the devil's semen).
>>34403712>She is a more casual drinker, has alcohol in the fridge and may pull it out on friday nights or with dinner.That's essentially irrelevant. Chill out and don't worry about it.>(mom always called it the devil's semen)O_o You may want to consider that it's your family that has the problem.
>>34403712Alcohol is perfectly safe and reasonable to consume in moderation. Outside of moderation it's obviously not. Your family has a very emotional reaction to alcohol due to a mixture of their religious beliefs and the damage they've seen it do to your uncle. But an emotional response isn't really going to paint the most accurate picture.That said, I think it's important to consider what compatibility issues this will cause. Are you going to be able to be open minded enough to accept her drinking and even possibly getting drunk? Will you judge her negatively for drinking or treat her differently? And then, if you two get serious, will your family accept her? If not, does that matter to you? And will you stand up for her if they don't? What if they started to treat you differently too?
>>34403502My wife drinks (never to the point of getting drunk though). I've never had a drink in my life.It was only ever an issue while we were planning our wedding. That and other expectations just resulted in us just scaling the whole thing down considerably, which was for the best anyway.It hasn't been an issue at all since then. She's never pushed me to or expected me to take up drinking.Your mother needs to lighten up.
>>34403502>She also mentioned about having gone to bars Drinking aside, this shows an extroverted and almost certainly slutty personality
>>34403934>extroverted Is this a yellow/red flag? She is highly extroverted and was the one who pursued me. I did find her attractive right when I first saw her, and I think she took notice.
>>34403986You don't want /adv/ answering this for you, it's /r9k/ lite. As stupid as the takes about alcohol your family has, this board's takes about women will be worse. If she pursued you that's great. Don't let the people here turn it into a bad thing.
>>34403661going to bars doesn't make you an alkie
>>34403986>She is highly extroverted and was the one who pursued meI would be suspicious of this, yes. In general, anything a woman would do for you, she would do for other guys in similar circumstances (duh). So if she throws herself at you for little apparent reason, it's likely a result of her personality.Is there a chance that you just happened to be especially attractive to her, or had some rare combination of traits she likes? Of course. But is that the simplest or most likely explanation? No. It's probably just how she acts.Extroversion, in general, is correlated with promiscuity. So is liberal use of drugs and/or alcohol. Doubly so if they're done socially (say, at bars). If you just want to fool around, it doesn't matter, but if you're looking for a life partner, there's obvious reason to be suspicious.>>34403995Whether OP thinks it's worth it or not is up to him. That doesn't mean there aren't observable patterns. Insisting that anyone who notices those patterns is a bitter incel is self-defeating, because reality will hit many of those people in the face, and then they'll look for someone to blame.
>>34404407Sure, it's up to him. And that's my advice for him regarding the alleged Sanders of extraverted tendencies. If someone is mentioning it as a red flag like >>34403934 did, they absolutely are far past the point of rationality regarding women. Since OP is used to engaging with irrational ideas like anyone who drinks alcohol is drinking the devil's semen, I thought I would do him a favor and warn him about /adv/'s tendency to do the same with women, before suspicion and judgement starts to creep into his relationship, either through concerns about her extraversion or concerns about the fact she isn't a teetotaler.>and then they'll look for someone to blame.And the people on this board blame women for their lack of understanding and success with them.
>>34404428Dangers of
>>34404407>>34404428OP here. So this is the full context, if you wanted to browse my thread >>>34308600 Basically, she works in the same department as me, and has been coming up to my work desk to small talk with me. It got slowly more flirty and she started telling me about her more personal life. She specifically told me she lives alone, and she is around the age where you'd start looking for something serious. We also live in an area where the average age is 60+. There just isn't a huge pool of dates to choose from, and we both caught each other looking at one another on various occasions (with her checking me out first).
>>34404505Erm looks like the thread didn't properly save https://archive.4plebs.org/adv/thread/34308600/#34308600
>>34404428> If someone is mentioning it as a red flag like >>34403934 didThat was me, and that's a simple fact. You're free to look them up if you don't believe me. Whether you think it's of any relevant concern is a separate issue.Alcohol + extroverted socialization is obviously slut-adjacent. You're arguing over the connotation, but not the basic idea. Both of those things are correlated with higher sexual permissiveness. Not to the level you, personally, would consider slutty. But neither you nor I is the one who actually has to make the decision to date. Hence my saying OP can make of that what he will.
>>34403934And yet hombodies are more likely to be cheaters.
>>34404896[citation needed]
>>34403712>(mom always called it the devil's semen).Is your mom picrel?
