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I grew up in a traditional catholic country. If you were gay, people made fun of you (unless you were ultra faggot gay, then somehow society accepts you). Some old heads think its a sin to be gay. So its possible I might have internalized homophobia preventing me from ever knowing.

Ive only ever had TWO instances where I thought I "might" be attracted to a man. One was when I was travelling with a friend. We were both tired and he feel asleep next to me. He unconsciously put his head on my shoulder but he was tired so I let him do it. For whatever reason, I was thinking about him the entire morning the next day and I was panicking thinking I was homosexual. That didn't last long, thank god.

The only other time was when this older guy came to our workplace. I couldnt tell if he was bisexual or making gay jokes like typical dudes do. But he would flirt with me whenever we would talk. He was pretty smooth. He was masculine, but not hypermasculine in the way most dudes reject their feminine sides. He reminded me a lot of Chester Bennington in looks and personality. I've never been attracted to a guy in my life but for once I thought "if it was this guy then maybe..."

I don't find guys physically attractive at all. But I think it's because most guys subconsciously participate in this dick-measuring contest where they try to look as hard as possible. They get uncomfortable with the idea of being even slightly feminine. I've had body dysmorphia since I was a kid from being bullied so participating in that dick-measuring contest makes me uncomfortable. I've always liked expressing myself through art, song and dance and hated sports growing up. But every now and then I see a guy that dresses well, has long hair, smells nice, talks like he isnt a complete tard that I think "oh, this is an attractive guy".