I’m miserable in my relationship, but I find it difficult to leave.Over the past year and a half, my girlfriend has become harder to be around. She has grown more selfish, hateful, and dismissive. She has gained weight and complains about it while doing nothing to change it. We do not have much sex, and when we do, I am not into it. The whole time, I feel like I want to be dead and that I am wasting my life. It generally feels like I am spending all my time and money on a black hole. I believe it would be best to end the relationship, but I am afraid to.>I feel a lot of pity for her. Many aspects of her life are difficult. She has only one friend and struggles to pay rent on a small income, which is why I try to cover other expenses.>She is very funny.>I am afraid I will never be in another relationship and that ending this one makes me selfish.
>>34406858Do you think there are any reasons for her to have grown more bitter and selfish over the years? Was she always like that?It could be the case that she is suffering from depression or some other condition, which would lead to stuff like her gaining weight as a way to attempt and relieve her stress through eating, and maybe even the hateful/dismissive part... So, do you think something might have happened to her to make her change like that? (other than the money situation)I think it's admirable that you care for her well being even if at the moment you are no longer feeling the same love as you once did, but at the same time, if it is not working out for you, I think you need to be open with her. Tell her how you feel, while trying to be polite and all. Just say that things have been different between you, and that you are feeling it. Ask if there's something wrong, if you can help, if the two of you can't work things out together, etc.Do you still love her? Like if she got back to her old self, do you think it could work? If yes, then I'd say to try and fix things, but if not, you can politely and carefully end the relationship, while still being her friend, if you both want to.
>>34406981I think there was a significant turning point in 2024 when we got in a car wreck and she had to buy a new one. She felt very guilty about her mom, who isn’t very financially stable, because her mom paid for most of it. I really do feel bad for her.Overall, I think she’s become more depressed and fed up with life and people. I can relate to that, but she doesn’t really do anything to push herself out of it. Almost everything she texts me these days is a rant about someone on TikTok or how much she hates life, and when she’s here, she just lies on my bed and complains until I’m able to quiet her down by buying her food. It’s getting frustrating to be with someone so negative.I’ve tried telling her before that she can be a little too negative, and she gets very snappy and says she’s not negative enough. Almost anytime I try to confront her, she either doesn’t accept it or starts crying. When I ask if I can help with anything, she says there’s nothing I can do. She’s afraid her roommate is going to move soon and that she won’t be able to pay full rent after that. I told her she could live with me and my parents temporarily, but she was dismissive and said she’d rather die, then complained that I didn’t sound excited enough about the idea of us living together. It’s really confusing.I don’t know if her old self would be enough, because I feel like I’m getting sick of her, though that could just be how I feel right now. I do want a partner who isn’t rude to me and who is sexually compatible with me.I’m anxious about breaking up with her because she once said that if I didn’t do it in a satisfactory way, she would try to ruin my life.
>>34407028>I’m anxious about breaking up with her because she once said that if I didn’t do it in a satisfactory way, she would try to ruin my life.I don't know if she said that jokingly or not.. maybe it wasn't meant to be taken seriously, but if it was, I think it's quite a big red flag. i personally wouldn't be with someone if they tried to threaten me.It's a complicated scenario. She does seem to be going through a psychiatric situation, maybe she has been for a good while now, but you're not her husband, you've entered a relationship with her on the basis that you'd both love and support each other I presume, so if she isn't accepting your support in the matter, what else can you do to make it work?Personally I think I'd just be straight with her and tell what I was feeling. Lay it all on the table and talk things through. Trying my best to be polite and kind with the words, of course.
>>34406858I've been in that relationship before. Leave before you get her pregnant.
>>34407126It was kind of a joke, kind of wasn’t. I’ll try that out, probably on a day where she isn’t super bitter about things. Which can be rare, haha.
>>34407139I’m 23, there’s no plans for babies anytime soon.
leave
>>34406858If y'all aren't having kids together then wtf are y'all doing, end it
>>34407139>>34407988>>34408493this
