Right so did you tell him all this

Makes sense if you're long distance, if you're not committed just end the deal

>>34408794
If the situation was reversed, and your boyfriend started studying alone with a woman, how would you feel about it? There are some situations that you should simply not put yourself in if you're in a committed relationship.

>>34408794
>I think it started shortly after me and one of my male friends have started studying together and mostly it's just the two of us.

Yeah I'd be uncomfortable as shit at this too. You probably are doing that thing where you think you are being accused of something like you think he is saying you are doing/did/are going to do something. So you get all stubborn and profess innocence and refuse to simply acknowledge that it's not about what you did or didn't do, it's about the thing that you're engaged in is making him feel uncomfortable and every time you refuse to accommodate his feelings and make changes to how you do things, your boyfriend just hears it as

"This other guy is more important to me than my boyfriend's feelings".

That's the impression you give, every time you defiantly tell your boyfriend off for his comfort levels feeling poached. You argue against his feelings he trusted you with and you choose to instead argue for the right to hang out 1 on 1 with a guy who isn't your boyfriend.
You have any idea how that looks on the outside?

Imagine he hangs out with someone younger and prettier than you, alone, 1 on 1. And whenever you express discomfort he stubbornly minimises your feelings and spends his energy defending the new chick and not (you). What would you think about that?

>>34408794
Narc abuse

>>34408794
You two should be communicating about this, ask him about his fears and concerns.
I get where he's coming from, but if he has an issue with you being with friends in general (not just one-on-one or with men exclusively), that can indicate he has issues with control.
You both sound like you have your share of issues though. I would be careful about being close with male friends, a lot of these men see a girl in a committed relationship as a challenge to win you over. (same with single women and married men)
They may not express these intentions at first or outright set a "boundary" in the beginning to make you feel safe, but they'll get the itch eventually and sabotage their relationship with you and the relationship you have with your boyfriend. This doesn't happen every time, but it's something to be aware of.

>>34408799
Tell him what? He knows everything in this post.
>>34408803
I wouldn't have an issue with it. That's why I mentioned he doesn't have female friends. If he had he would understand that you can be friends with people of the opposite sex and we maybe wouldn't have to deal with all of this.
>>34408816
>and spends his energy defending the new chick and not (you)
I'm not defending anyone though, I just don't want to be controlled and told who I can hang out with. I'm not going on dates or hanging out with someone the whole day, is it that wrong to stay with someone after classes at uni for an hour more?
>>34408829
Maybe you're right that there are men like that, but even if, shouldn't he trust me first and foremost? If any of the guys made a move he should trust me I would stop it right there. As long as they don't do anything, what's wrong with it?

>>34408851
>I'm not defending anyone though, I just don't want to be controlled and told who I can hang out with. I'm not going on dates or hanging out with someone the whole day, is it that wrong to stay with someone after classes at uni for an hour more?

It's not wrong. It's not about right or wrong, dummy. It's about your relationship is taking a hit because you and your boyfriend are at a physical distance now, and therefore an emotional distance and in that void you have chosen to fill it with hanging out 1 on 1 with a guy who isn't your boyfriend. Meanwhile your boyfriend probably does his absolute best to stay away from girls who ain't his girlfriend. And naturally your boyfriend now thinks is the reason you want to only care about your strong independent wahmen shit is because you don't care how he feels

>>34408794
I would never trust a woman with male "friends". Simple as.

>>34408794
>It's probably because he doesn't have any female friends so he doesn't get it.
No, you don't get it. Your study buddy wants to fuck you, no matter what he says.

>>34408851
>I wouldn't have an issue with it. That's why I mentioned he doesn't have female friends.
You don't have an issue with it because it's fortunately not been ab issue for (you). He doesn't have female friends. You may think you'd feel fine about it if he did start hanging out 1 on 1 with a other girl, but you would surprise even yourself. You would find you would feel insecure and jealous if he were to tell you his own girlfriend "not right now I'm hanging out with Stacy" if you ever needed to talk to him. You'd feel the pang of insecurity then and there but fortunately you don't feel that because it hasn't happened to you. If it did you'd instantly know why what you're doing is bad relationship tact.

Answer this: does your mother hang out with guys who are not your dad? Alone? 1 on 1?

>>34408794
Even if you're not being physically intimate with your friend, you are spending time with and connecting with him emotionally instead of your boyfriend. He has to compete with his attention and with what your friend offers you. Men don't like cheating because it turns a stable relationship into one where men have to constantly compete with each other based on a woman's revolving door of desires.

Abandoned thread after getting critiqued immedately award

>>34408851
Also another thing, here's how it looks:
- you insist on hanging out 1 on 1 with another guy who isnt your bf
- you demand your boyfriend put up or shut up about it
- you act oblivious about it and minimize his feelings about it
- you go to university, full of friendship potential, out of all the students, it's this one guy. This one guy is so you conciously chose to hang out with 1 on 1
- not other girls, not mixed groups at all times, not trying to have female peers or friends
- a male, out of every student you pick out this one guy for 1 on 1 time, alone.

And you act "teehee there's nothing going on I am so oblivious to the social dynamic haha my boyfriend is being a meanie. He is a bad man, he should let me tread all over basic relationship etiquette. I don't like how he feels about it, I want him to feel a way that doesn't inconvenience me."

-"because hanging out with this one guy who ain't my boyfriend is that important to me. But I'll pretend it's not a out the guy it's about my right to do what I want."

Either way you're being a shitter. If you're speaking true and it isn't about the guy sbd it's about your independence craving, you still are being a stubborn ass because relationships are about reciprocation, about partnership. They are not about being two independents necessarily. Unless you wanna live as room mates and identify as roommates and not lovers, go ahead. Just know any guy who is serious about a girl (aka wants to marry her) is turned of by this type of girl.

>>34408874
>and therefore an emotional distance and in that void you have chosen to fill it with hanging out 1 on 1 with a guy who isn't your boyfriend
That's not true, I don't do it because of some "void", I do it because we study the same thing and I like him as a friend.
I care about how he feels and I tried to explain it to him that we don't do anything wrong. He's refusing to even entertain the idea that it could be ok to have friends of the opposite sex. What else could I do if he doesn't get it? Should I now restrict myself and stop talking to all guys I know? Even if it's in a friend group?
>>34408881
Even if that were true if he isn't making any move I don't think it would make sense and it would be fair to just randomly stop talking to him based on something he MIGHT think.
>>34408887
>You would find you would feel insecure and jealous if he were to tell you his own girlfriend "not right now I'm hanging out with Stacy" if you ever needed to talk to him
I was always picking up the phone when we called me until recently because he has started calling me all the time. Especially when he knows I'm out and spending time with other people.
>>34408890
I'm not connecting with him emotionally though, I don't even talk about this relationship stuff with him. We only study together.
>>34408909
>- you go to university, full of friendship potential, out of all the students, it's this one guy. This one guy is so you conciously chose to hang out with 1 on 1 - not other girls, not mixed groups at all times, not trying to have female peers or friends - a male, out of every student you pick out this one guy for 1 on 1 time, alone.
Now you're assuming a lot of things here, I hang out with both girls and boys and we hang out in mixed groups also. But this one friend takes the exact same subject as me and the other people I talk to don't. That's why we started studying together. And we don't hang out every day all day. It's just sometimes after the class.

>>34408914
Why do you have to study together? One 1 on 1? Why can't the guy study himself?

>>34408914
>I don't even talk a out this relationship stuff with him.
Why? Don't want him to know you're taken? I bet $100 the minute you tell your university study buddy that you're in a relationship or keep talking about your boyfriend is the minute he suddenly loses interest to study with you.

I am serious, I dare you to go try that and see what happens.

>>34408917
Because I like to study and talk about topics that interest me with other people.
>>34408921
He knows I have a boyfriend. I was even calling with him once when we were hanging out.

>>34408794
>He's been acting like a total asshole
He's not acting.

>>34408914
Somebody else is always to blame for the result of a woman's actions. They're always perfectly reasonable and everyone else is unreasonable. Everyone else just needs to lighten up and accept they're always right even when they're wrong. Love from Kazakhstan.

>>34408923
And I believe you. But you seem to lack critical self awareness. You think your intentions or how you feel about things erases the inappropriateness of your actions. It does not matter if you are 100% loyal and truly intend not to fuck around with the guy, it does not matter that you think you care about BF's feelings. What matters at the end of the day, all anyone will ever see, is actions. And your actions tell your BF you don't care about how he feels about it, it's why you keep going back to the study buddy. I am going to bet you are not very socialized or have some type of female autism thing going on and you can't grasp relationship etiquette that well.

You never answered the question: Does your mother hang out 1 on 1 with men who are not your father?

>>34408794
He's a smart guy. All those guys want to fuck you.

Gosh. The relationship is done. You're right and so is your soon to be ex. No recovery. Your soon to be ex has the I cannot believe she's doing this cancer and you are avoiding calls when with other men your bf doesn't know and here to justify this. He thinks you are crazy and you think he is crazy.
But both of you naively thought a long distance relationship would survive when you are university age. Not affixing blame but you want independence and he is trying to hold on out of fear.
Its not about this one guy nor could it be fixed if he had female friends. You're going one way and he another.
You do need to be more honest with yourself however. You may see the one on one as "friends" but that friend likely doesn't and you probably deep down know that. And no woman, if they really loved their bf or husband, would want him to be alone with a female "friend" she didn't know.

>>34408933
Okay, so what you suggest? Should I stop hanging out with all guys I know like he's demanding? Because he doesn't have an issue with this guy only, like I said he has an issue with all boys near me now even when we're in a group. I don't know but I would feel very restricted if I were to do this. And I care about how he feels that's why I have tried to explain it to him. I feel like he should trust me more.
>Does your mother hang out 1 on 1 with men who are not your father?
No. But because my mother doesn't do something doesn't mean doing so is wrong.
>>34408952
>And no woman, if they really loved their bf or husband, would want him to be alone with a female "friend" she didn't know.
Why? I just don't immediately think about sex or deep emotional connection when I see a person of the opposite sex.
And again, the only reason I have started "avoiding his calls" is because he has started calling me all the time. Like really. And I still pick up most of the time but not when I'm out somewhere with friends.

>>34408957
He has an issue with you being around other guys now, because you showed him you struggle to understand boundaries and relationship etiquette so he now he thinks you're oblivious and socially clumsy and now he thinks you being around other guys is a terrible idea because you probably will walk into social shit that will go way over your head, like guys hitting on you or flirting. You will probably not pick up on it and your refusal to have boundaries or stay away will give other signals you're interested. That's the problem.

>No. But because my mother doesn't do something doesn't mean doing so is wrong.
This for example you completely missed the crux of my point. You are socially oblivious, no offense. My point was that committed couples don't entertain the opposite sex as friends like you do with this study buddy. That's why your mom doesn't do it. That's why your dad doesn't see other women 1 on 1 who ain't momma. It's because your mom and dad are mature and understand the rules of relationships. You don't.

>>34408957
>"friend" she didn't know
Don't ignore this detail, nor become defensive and I not once mentioned having sex. This is for future reference. When you have a true friend of either sex you want your partner to know them and the friend to know your partner. They don't have to become friends but being acquainted goes a long way in understanding relationship dynamics. Also, what we sometimes call friends are no more than acquaintances you have one thing in common. You should want a partner to know your friend and your partner should want you to know theirs. Your friend, if a true friend, should want to know your choice of partner. If for any reason you don't then something is amiss.

>>34408794
You are all fucking wrong, he doesn't have a female friend because he don't wan't to have temptations of fucking other womens else than his girlfriend.
I can say these because im a man i know how mans think. Mans are fucking simps controlled by their lust, not all mens but majority of the modern man are like that.
Women don't have that problem, and mans will mostly have female friends because they want to fuck them.
Listen your boyfriend isn't insecure or something, he don't want to lose you, you are very important for him, you should talk with him seriously about this.

Shit like this is why i dont want a girlfriend
We have a girl at work who has a bf but keeps having very deep 1 on 1 convos with her male coworkers at their tables (i work at a dealership and most of these guys are like 20 years older than her) and even lets them flirt with her sometimes and I honestly have no idea how she doesn't have an issue with disrespecting her bf like this

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>>34408794
You're boyfriend is right.
Your a terrible human being.

>>34408945
this

>>34408957
>>34408794
Follow the female version of the Mike pence rule. Yes it is the only sensible thing to do.

Yes you are being unreasonable but you should break up and spare your boyfriend your retardation.

>>34408999
Duh. This site is turning into reddit

>>34408945
I will never understand how women say they have high "EQ" and find themselves oblivious in situations like this. If a man is spending time with you and not making any moves, it just means he's too pathetic to try it on. But if you made moves on him I guarantee he would reciprocate.

Women aren't as interesting as they think they are. They get that impression because guys want to fuck them. There's a reason guys don't just hang out with old ladies for fun.

>>34408988
I agree. Her study "friend" she likes and wants to get to know better is trying to fuck her. Her bf knows this and she is pretending to not know. Its doubtful she has any intention of fucking this "friend". Women always are over confident in their ability to manage a man trying to fuck them. In her head its a no and will never be otherwise so at some point she'll have to address that, likely ending that "friendship" doomed from its start. Collateral damage is her existing relationship.

>>34408957
>Okay, so what you suggest? Should I stop hanging out with all guys I know like he's demanding?
Yes. Him demanding it doesn't make it any less reasonable.

>>34409006
It's because women are non confrontational, they're pussies. We use the word "pussy" to describe cowardice for a reason. Women can never set boundaries for the fucking life of them. They think boundaries are to be had AFTER a violating of personal space occurs, and not before. So they walk into a three situations all the time. Unless they have female friends and are close with other females, then they learn during peer pressure. But if they're an aloof autist chick who only ever got attention from guys they never question their own social fucky wuckies. OP's mom or sister or female family should have been there talking her out of the social faux pas but it is what it is

>>34408966
>My point was that committed couples don't entertain the opposite sex as friends like you do with this study buddy.
I still don't see what is wrong with it though. If we're just friends, he isn't making any move, I'm not making any move, where's the issue?
>>34408985
>When you have a true friend of either sex you want your partner to know them and the friend to know your partner.
I wouldn't have a problem with them meeting each other. It's not very doable though since my boyfriend studies in a different city than me. There is never a time when the two of them would be at the same place.
And I know you didn't mention sex but it seems everyone here assumes that if someone looks at a person of the opposite sex they must immediately want to have sex with them.
>>34408988
Like I said in one of my previous replies, even if it were true he wanted something like that if he isn't making any moves I don't think it's fair to stop talking to him just because of something he might be thinking. If he were making moves I would reject him.
>>34409001
What's that.

>>34409010
Only the most reddit ass advice is allowed on these obvious questions. to anyone who has lived in reality they know most people "mate-guard" their relationships. If you don't like that op you are the unreasonable one.

The chuddiest advice on this site is almost always correct, if you actually touch grass. Problem is no one believes until they are taught by the hard school of sexual experience.

>>34409015
>Like I said in one of my previous replies, even if it were true he wanted something like that if he isn't making any moves I don't think it's fair to stop talking to him just because of something he might be thinking. If he were making moves I would reject him.
I agree but like i said majority of men are fucking simps, at first he probably wanted to study with her because of study, but now with the time he wants to fuck her.
This is why i don't have a girlfriend, this shit is difficult. Relationships are difficult asf

>>34409015
>It's not very doable though since my boyfriend studies in a different city than me
You could introduce him to all your friends both male and female by a short impromptu video call. My wife travels to her home in a different country every year. Some years I go and others cannot but I know all her friends and they know me. She'll post a dinner or outing on social media easy for me to see and recognize whom she's with. Never had to make a demand she just does it. Conversely she knows with whom I am acquainted. You guys are in a tough spot studying in different cities while socializing as university students should.

>>34409015

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>>34408794
men and women can't be platonic friends and your study buddy WILL eventually try to get into your pants. Your boyfriend is right and being perfectly reasonable. The mere fact that he only started being suspicious after THREE years, just after you started 1-on-1 sessions with some other dude is really telling.
Either study in larger groups or get a boyfriend who doesn't care about your whereabouts and well-being.

>>34409015
>The "Mike Pence rule" refers to former Vice President Mike Pence's personal practice of avoiding being alone with any woman who is not his wife.
It includes not dining alone with women, declining one-on-one meetings in private settings, and generally ensuring interactions occur in public, with others present, or with his wife nearby.
Pence has described it as a moral and protective boundary intended to avoid situations that could lead to temptation or inappropriate appearances.
The rule has been both defended as a commitment to marital fidelity and criticized as potentially limiting women’s professional opportunities or reinforcing gender segregation.

>>34409036
>at first he probably wanted to study with her because of study
you're giving the guy too much credit. He wanted to fuck her then uses studying together to be up close.

You guys need to understand. Unless a female is an ogre men have tried to fuck them since they sprouted tits. They have experienced nearly every approach, lie and trick in the book. Sometimes they do get fooled by carefully masked insincerity but most times they can spot even a stealth approach miles off.

>>34409048
Yes and they enjoy it and play dumb

>>34409048
can confirm. I led on mid-ugly girls in high school to tutor me maths and shiet so I can coax them into sex during tutoring.
Shit was cash. I'd fuck them or receive head then pay them for 'tutoring'.
I didn't even have bad grades, just wanted to treat them like whores.

>>34409010
So you don't think it's unreasonable for him to want me to cease contact with all guys I know which means I would need to stop hanging out with my entire friend group when they hang out together?
>>34409013
Just fyi I told this to other people like my roommate and she says I'm in the right.
>>34409037
Okay, I could suggest that. Hopefully he will accept it and it will help.
>>34409044
But he now has a problem with me hanging out with any guys anywhere even if it's in a group. I would need to only hang out with girls to make him content.

>>34409036
Soon to be 24 year old khhv without a single female friend here

She knows that her bf has missed out on actually having a social circle and won't ever be able to pull another woman so she treats him like an orbiter for quick bursts of attention while actually talking to chads she subconsciously wants at her uni lol it's really that simple

>>34409057
>But he now has a problem with me hanging out with any guys anywhere even if it's in a group. I would need to only hang out with girls to make him content.
woah, it's almost as if you made your bed by being untrustworthy and now you have to sleep in it

first off: long distance doesn't work, EVER
second: it's clear you prioritize your male orbiters over your boyfriend's feelings
third: spare him the trouble, break up, and have your 'college' experience you obviously yearn for

>>34409051
The do play coy and enjoy the push pull at times.
They do lie to themselves believing it can be managed because the guy is fun or interesting. They do on occasion "fall" for tricks or lies but its no more than a genuine response to a stroked ego. They should own that one but usually its used as an excuse.

She wasn't a friend or gf but I worked at a restaurant and the daughter of the owners beautiful and very married. Men tried to hit on her constantly and either she would not serve them anymore or on one occasion I hear her loud enough for people to hear ask a man if he was trying to fuck her. Never saw that clown again.

>>34409057
>Okay, I could suggest that
Don't even suggest just do it and surprise him. No over thinking

>>34409057
>Just fyi I told this to other people like my roommate and she says I'm in the right.
If course your female roommate says you're in the right. She's your roommate. Look OP I could explain social dynamics and what they mean all day but that's gonna take forever. Just simplify it: either you care about keeping boyfriend comfortable or you don't you can't pick both the boyfriend and the guy friends in this scenario. Choose which one matters more to you and sacrifice the other. You can't have it both ways.

>>34409060
You're so fucking right, womens only wants to talk with chads, fuck with chads.
A 3/10 women can have multiple optios with mens, but if you are a men you need to be at least 7/10 to have something. I dont see this as something fair, womens have more odds just for the fact they are womens.
Thats because mans only want to fuck, driven by lust they conceive of women as superior beings, when they are fucking human beings. Look we need to stop thinking about womens and thinking about fucking them, we need to stop being fucking simps and conceive women as humans, talk with them without thinking of fucking them.

The lesson here isnt to agree with OPs boyfriend, that you should be controlling who your girlfriend hangs out with. Its that you can't let it ever get to this point. Once he heard about this, being long distance, he should have just ghosted her and never contacted again and moved on to the next girl. The relationship is over, never ever be a man in a relationship that has died without knowing it

>>34409096
>just do undo billions of years of genetically hardwired behaviour bro
I'm not gay. I see a woman I want to fuck it.

>>34408794
Stop playing naive/dumb slut. You know exactly what youre doing.

>>34409090
>If course your female roommate says you're in the right. She's your roommate
Why? How is she different from you for example?
And let's say I want to save the relationship. Where should I draw the line then? Because even if I stopped hanging out with this particular guy one on one I'm definitely not going to stop hanging out with my entire friend group just because there are both girls and boys in it. Should I stay in my room when all of them go out somewhere?
>>34409103
I'm definitely not a "slut", the only person I've ever slept with is my boyfriend.

>>34409112
just fucking admit you want to fuck the guy and get on with it.

>>34409057
>Just fyi I told this to other people like my roommate and she says I'm in the right.
Yes, another woman agrees with your woman brained take. And as men, we're telling you that other man wants to fuck you. So take our word for that.


This anon completely nailed it >>34409013
Women put themselves in situations and refuse to ever take accountability. They intentionally set up scenarios where any accidents will be somebody else's fault but fly as close to the sun as possible because of the excitement.

>>34409045
This is how almost all pre industrial societies operated and some still do today

>>34409112
If you want to save the relationship you guys need to stop being long distance. The person who doesnt want to do this is subtly admitting they want the relationship to end. It actually might indeed be both of you. Youre both being toxic and destroying the relationship. If you dont end the long distance your relationship will end, 100%

>>34409096
>we need to stop being fucking simps and conceive women as humans, talk with them without thinking of fucking them
I'd rather just accept reality than try and twist it into some distorted version of how things "should be". If OP is asking for real advice, it should be based in reality, not some fantasy about how men should act.

I would never, ever, ever, waste my time with a woman who I have no intention of having sex with. Men who seem to are just too weak to assert what they want.

>>34409097
This advice is harsh but real. 99.9% of men won't be able to accept this but it's true, the relationship was already dead. It's long distance and she cares more about her beta orbiters than her boyfriend. It's over.

We need to stop enabling women's shitty behavior and girlboss attitudes by cutting them lose when they act up like this. Modern women are a result of modern men.

>>34409112
>Why? How is she different from you for example?
Because she has to share a room with you. She is also a woman, aka non-confrontational. Which means she is not about to split hairs and disagree with you or confront you over any misbehaviors you do, especially concerning your personal life. Because that would mean sharing a living space with someone who may start to dislike her, so she people pleases you and agrees with whatever you say. She does this because she knows at the end of University, you and her won't be friends, you will both go separate ways. She doesn't want to cause shit for herself with a roomie. That's what makes it different.

>And let's say I want to save the relationship. Where should I draw the line then?
Draw the line at hanging out with guys. You should know what "hanging out" means. You should know the difference in social tact between acquaintance, colleague, peer, friend, lover. You should know what it is an isn't acceptable to say or what is and isn't acceptable in certain contexts such as time spent with others and where (which location) that is. For example if your friend group takes you drinking alcohol into the night, that's a fuck up. If your friend group simply hangs out in and around school grounds or at a coffee shop, that's fine.

The fact you have to ask these questions tells me you have trouble understanding social rules. That's fine it's whatever. Loads of people are social squares who can't understand nuances. It's whatever.

I personally believe you that you do not intend to cheat or hurt your boyfriend. I believe you when you say you just enjoy convos and thats all. But this doesn't matter because the world is not black or white. It's not so simple. The realm of relationships is a balancing act of respecting boundaries and comfort zones. And your choice right now is respect what your BF is asking if you, or don't the choice is yours. If you choose not to, just don't be surprised when your relationship ends

>>34409126
>This advice is harsh but real
Why aren't you guys following it? I dumped my ex gf the first minute she started watching movies with a guy alone. It's not hard to dump them the minute they show they aren't mature enough to know what does or doesn't fly in a relationship.

>>34409131
>Why aren't you guys following it?
Unironically low test and lack of male role models. Watch movies from the 50s and see how men act, then compare to modern capeshit or slopflix. Men need to stop consooming modern slop

Dating a woman who hangs out with dudes all the time and is too oblivious to tell they want to fuck her is one of the most painful experiences you can go through. Keep tormenting him OP, I think everybody in a relationship deserves to be punished.

>>34408794
Are these "guy friends" waiting for you two break up to try and fuck you?

>>34409119
How should we stop being long distance? We're both studying a different thing in a different city. It's not like one of us is purposely keeping it long distance. If we could be together every day we would.
>>34409126
I don't have any "orbiters". My male friends are my friends. This guy we're talking about it my friend. He is not orbiting around me, he isn't making any move on me. He knows I have a boyfriend and he only studies with me on some days.
>>34409130
>For example if your friend group takes you drinking alcohol into the night, that's a fuck up. If your friend group simply hangs out in and around school grounds or at a coffee shop, that's fine.
Well we hang out in coffee shops and in a bar as well. Though I don't drink that much, maybe one or two beers per evening. And we mostly go to a bar once per week. So idk whether it'd be appropriate or not for you. I also don't know what my boyfriend would consider appropriate right now since he has expressed he has an issue with me having any contact with guys, even in a friend group.
And btw what you said about my roommate made me sad, I thought we had a good relationship and she cares about me, I hope you're wrong there that she says things only to please me.
>>34409138
I don't hang out with guys "all the time". It's only on some days for a while.

>>34409143
Just end this shit, we can all tell you want to

>>34409143
>I don't have any "orbiters". My male friends are my friends.
You are not a man. You have no idea what it's like to be a man. As men we are telling you what men are.

>he isn't making any move on me
Because he's a pussy. Not because he doesn't want it.

>>34409131
Don't know about you but I made the mistake with my first gf of trying to cock block her and I got my guts and heart ripped out. I learned when they open the door for other men its over for you. Its a death spiral and the landing is not a soft one. Since then I do as you do. The first hint means they are not for me and they may never mature out of this. I know for sure if you have to wedge yourself between who you believe is your gf and other men its done for so get out quick.
Women do take on other suitors. It can be a slow courtship or quick. She is open to seeing where it takes her and it might end if either the other man disappoints her or you disappoint her by resisting. Ideally women want to manage both without losing either. Sometimes they lose patience, call for a break to sort things out, fuck the other man right away and he is not what she imagined and shamelessly wants a do over with you. Your prize is you are a better option once she went on a test run. Don't fall for any of this shit. A woman might be sincere until she isn't and that is when you leave and never look back.

>>34409143
>We're both studying a different thing in a different city.
One of you can decide the relationship is more important. You can transfer your credits to another program. Or one of you can quit entirely. Or you decide your studies are more important than the relationship. That's up to you.

Not making a decision is still a decision.

>>34409143
>He knows I have a boyfriend
lmao don't think that guys don't want to fuck girls with boyfriends, when they fuck girls with husbands without a second thought. even if you're married, a guy who likes you will most likely fuck if you invite him.

>>34409160
Great post. This is exactly the truth and the playbook.

>>34409160
same thing happened to me.
5 years down the drain. Never even got a sorry.

>>34409143
>>34409168
If I was into a girl and enjoyed time together, her having some long distance thing would not stop me at all. It would be almost irrelevant. Why do I care about some guy she barely sees?

>>34409174
You probably got told you were insecure instead

>>34409177
I was insecure, jealous, angry, depressed, crazy, narcissistic, controlling, you name it.
All because I could tell something was off and she was being shifty. Turns out she was fucking some dude on the side for 6 months while actively lying to me and calling me crazy for noticing.

>>34409143
>I don't have any "orbiters". My male friends are my friends. This guy we're talking about it my friend. He is not orbiting around me, he isn't making any move on me. He knows I have a boyfriend and he only studies with me on some days
This is very easy to test. Ask those guys out on a date as an experiment. If they turn you down, you're right.

>>34409203
smartest post in this thread

>>34409203
OP will never do this because then a woman would have to admit she's wrong and the universe will implode. She'll come up with some bullshit justification like "I don't want to lead him and hurt my friend", "it would be like cheating my on my bf", etc.

>>34409231
90% of posts on 4chan and esp adv is bait

>>34409143
Listening to you I think your are naive and that can bite you too.
Just two examples when I was a University senior
>very outgoing and popular junior just started dating a pitcher on the baseball team.
>she was an accounting classmate and we'd see each other around campus.
>she wants to be friends. She starts sitting next to me in class, finding me around campus and do lunch occasionally
>not once did she mention her bf and kept telling me I was soooo interesting
>see her on campus with her bf and she turns red and I do not speak
>she text me later wanting to explain
>Ahh she's hooked. I'm not her bf but ok where and when
>we meet and she tells me she really likes me and wants to be with me and will stop dating the pitcher
>I say I don't want a gf but I do like her a lot so she fucking kisses me

>second a senior in 3 of my classes and we become inseparable unless she is with her fiancee
>she introduced me from the beginning to her fiancee and he is a solid guy
>solid but she is really hot and coy
>notice a change in her. she blushes when she sees me with or without her fiancee. Ahh shes hooked
>she is waiting for me outside a class she just skipped and she is shaking.
>shows me her hand that formerly had an engagement ring and questions
>you made me love you so I broke off my engagement so what are you going to do
>well I don't love you YET so are you sure.
>we fuck for almost two weeks and she comes back down to earth knowing I will never marry
>she ends up marrying her fiancee after graduation

>>34409143
>Well we hang out in coffee shops and in a bar as well. Though I don't drink that much, maybe one or two beers per evening. And we mostly go to a bar once per week. So idk whether it'd be appropriate or not for you.
Well me and my wife aren't drinkers so no it's not. But it's not for me to judge, all I know is if you're drinking with guys that ain't your BF you're in for some eventual trouble.

>And btw what you said about my roommate made me sad, I thought we had a good relationship and she cares about me, I hope you're wrong there that she says things only to please me.
Yeah it's sad but it's reality. You might be overestimating your connections to people. Or maybe it's just my own perspective I am projecting, but hear me out:

When I meet someone, be it a colleague or a peer or someone in school or work, I ask myself "is this person going to be at my death bed if I'm dying? Or would I go to theirs if they're dying?" If the answer I tell myself is "no" it means they're not a friend. They're a convenient acquaintance and that's all. And this logic has been 100% true every time in my social life. Because every single classmate I ever had, whether it's high school or college, or colleagues at old places of work, once we parted ways none of them reached out. Not once. And I don't blame them or feel bad about it, I don't care, I actually understand it, because I do it to them too. It's not personal it's just life.

Maybe that's why you are hard pressed to stop hanging out with people you shouldn't be hanging with. You probably equate having boundaries as something wicked or mean

>>34409168
Most women have a bf, fiancee or husband. You might know or you may not. The last 5 years not once have I fucked an actual single woman. One without a partner or one still lingering attachment. All had long time bfs or husbands. All of them too the initiative. Most did not intend to end their current relationship.

>>34409273
This means you are the fun guy who no one takes seriously.

>>34409292
that means most women are whores actually and is kn no way a reflection of his character

>>34409297
No, it is a common archetype of man to be the side guy. Fun, impulsive, dangerous. However not relationship material. Relationship guys (cucks) want to be the fun guy and the fun guy always deep down wants a relationship

>>34409244
You dodged a bullet on both of these occasions. If a woman will cheat to be with you, she will cheat on you. Thanks for sharing.

>>34409292
Yep and I do not hide that. What they want is someone that they can have fun with and it be their little secret. No demands or expectations or disclosures that could ruin what they are building or built.

>>34409301
Good post. Checks out, having been both of these guys.

>>34409273
This. Even if they're not "officially" in a relationship, women always have orbiters, who they decide just aren't good enough, but they string them out just in case they end up with nobody else to take care of them.

>>34409244
Alright but your examples are not related to my situation at all, I'm not doing any of that. I'm not interested in anyone besides my boyfriend.
>>34409263
>all I know is if you're drinking with guys that ain't your BF you're in for some eventual trouble.
Even if it's in a mixed friend group? I don't go drinking with a bunch of guys without any girls. I don't see how that's inappropriate.
>When I meet someone, be it a colleague or a peer or someone in school or work, I ask myself "is this person going to be at my death bed if I'm dying? Or would I go to theirs if they're dying?" If the answer I tell myself is "no" it means they're not a friend.
Isn't that a bit too much? You can have close friends, you can have causal friends, no?
>Maybe that's why you are hard pressed to stop hanging out with people you shouldn't be hanging with. You probably equate having boundaries as something wicked or mean
I don't think having boundaries is mean and I do have boundaries. I don't go to coffee shops on dates with this guy one on one. But I guess what I and my boyfriend see as inappropriate is different.

>>34409130
Geez, your partner has to be miserable if you’re the same and all you demand is to hang out with you only.

>>34409309
Convenient that you ignore the only actionable advice ITT

>>34409316
>oh you must be really boring or an incel if you're not willing to be a cuck for some girl boss who wants to keep her options open and you're a closed minded bigot if you disagree tee hee
Why do foids always resort to this? Never taking accountability. Always somebody else's fault. Zero introspection.

>>34409309
>Even if it's in a mixed friend group? I don't go drinking with a bunch of guys without any girls. I don't see how that's inappropriate.
If it's in a mixed group I make sure my wife is part of that mixed group. My friendships now as an adult is I only befriend other married couples, and that's all. I have old friends from childhood who I occasionally catch up with at best. I got my own family to focus on. You are different you are in a long term relationship of what, 2-3 years? You and boyfriend should be planning to build towards family, or at least a marriage. If you're not doing that then maybe it's just a "casual" relationship.

>You can have close friends, you can have casual friends, no?
What you call casual friend I call acquaintance. A friend is a word I only give to people I have bled with, people who I know on a deep level. People who I would fight for and people who would fight for me. Brotherhood, that sort of thing. I don't expect it to make sense since I'm a man and you're a woman. Brotherhood is something guys only understand, at least guys with fathers who gave a shit.

>I don't go to coffee shops on dates with this guy one on one. But I guess what I and my boyfriend see as inappropriate is different.
If you know this guy could be studying by himself but you choose to meet up to hang out to study together it's in the same ballpark as setting dates

You are simply never going to make a man okay with this, we all know it's bullshit, it's against our instincts.

>>34409302
Many more real life examples. I've been fooled and cheated on too so know my way around this shit.

The point is I know for a fact these girls didn't intend this to happen. I knew the probability was high it would but didn't throw gas on the flame. They believed they could get close to me and not develop feelings. They sought me out, text and called. They wanted to know personal detail and life philosophy and opinion on everything but mostly they wanted to be entertained. They laughed and I let them. They had no business getting that close to another guy that WILL fuck them silly.

>>34409316
>Geez, your partner has to be miserable if you’re the same and all you demand is to hang out with you only.
I don't demand it, she came with this understanding already built in. Because she had parents who gave a shit to raise her right. She is not a perpetual teenager in the body of a woman. She is content with being an adult and seeing to her own hobbies for fun, without needing to fit into peer groups like life was still the high school playground.

>>34408794
You should dump him, he doesn't get that you can just be friends with men and it probably isn't going to get better. You have to pick between having male friends or having this boyfriend. If I were you, I'd get a new boyfrienf who is okay with me having male friends

>>34409325
>If it's in a mixed group I make sure my wife is part of that mixed group.
Well in my case he can't be there right now since he is in a different city. If he were here I would take him with us as well.
>You and boyfriend should be planning to build towards family, or at least a marriage.
I would say we have a serious relationship. I have thought about us marrying and moving in together after we finish out studies. I don't see it as a casual relationship.
>If you know this guy could be studying by himself but you choose to meet up to hang out to study together it's in the same ballpark as setting dates
I don't have anyone else to study with and for this class and talk about topics from the class. If there were a third person who wanted to join us I'd be glad. It's not like I forbade everyone else from coming near us when we're studying.

>>34409335
this, it's obvious what she wants and the point of this thread is to validate her whore feelings

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>>34408794
>I think it started shortly after me and one of my male friends have started studying together and mostly it's just the two of us. But we don't do anything besides that, we just spend time in our uni library and that's all. It's not like we're going out on dates or anything like that.
Riiiight....

>>34409335
A good man won't accept her male friends, so she'll get an even more pathetic, beta male instead. Which is probably fine. Good men shouldn't be wasted on whores.

>>34409350
Okay so you shouldn't frame this guy as a male friend, he's someone you are required to study with for classwork. This is a classmate. If you sat there and told your BF it's a male friend you hang out with one on one, no wonder he's gone ape shit because you misspoke and you painted yourself into a bad misunderstanding. Why on earth are you referring to him as a male friend?

>>34409357
Yeah, she should do that. Get a different bf who is okay with having male friends

>>34409358
No, I see him as a friend. I'm not "required" to study with him, I do it because I like to study with someone if I can. He also goes out with us sometimes (I mean my friend group when we go out somewhere). So I see him as someone I'm friends with. But the only time I meet up with him one on one is only when we're studying.

>>34409368
hahahaha fucking whore.
Please break up with your bf

Can we stop entertaining the ideas of "yeah but what if she cheats" or "he has a right to worry".

He doesn't trust you, simple as. He thinks you're gonna cheat, that's the only problem here. Either he grows up or this problem won't go away. What do people in this post want, half measures? Make a deal? Stop seeing ANY guy that's not him? Keep living with the doubt. He should grow the fuck up.

Is there a chance your friend wants to bone you? Yes. Prob. That's the truth about almost everyone. The deal here is the bf not being able to trust YOU not to cheat. And if he doesn't trust you... what are we doing here? Ask him that. Do you wanna be with someone who thinks of you that way? Don't get me wrong, give him a chance to be more mature but if he doesn't wanna change, we can't do your work for you. Man or woman the fuck up, and tell him he should trust you or this shit ain't gonna work. At all.

Tough titties femanon, you got to deal with a tough life decision, but you know what to do. You just need a push. Maybe that's why you came here.

>>34409371
no man should trust a woman ever, it's in their nature to be deceitful

>>34409331
What did her parents fail to teach her in regards of that?

>>34409371
You're a feminized idiot. I'll ask to you what I asked of OP:
Does your mom hang with male friends 1 on 1? Does dad hang out with women who ain't your mom?

The answer is if they do, you're probably a child of divorce. Adults don't fuck around with opposite sex after finding a long term commitment. The only people who can't grasp this are autists.

>>34409382
to be not like op

>>34409378
You see the kind of advice you're gonna get here. Do ya thing.

>>34409371
OP's already prioritised her feelings about having male friends over her boyfriend. He's right to not trust her.

>he grows up
You mean accept being a cuck? Nothing grown up about that, retard.

>>34409385
back to redit faggot

>>34409371
unironically please go back to plebbit

>>34409385
yes advice from real men, not doormats

>>34409383
I too make arguments ignoring what other say to make my point.

Try not to study with any girl, 100% they are gonna jump on your cock. Stay strong.

>>34409396
>he's the problem for not trusting you going on 1-on-1 meetings with another guy
yeah grab a rope and neck it

>>34409371
Yeah, this is what I wonder, why doesn't he trust me? The guy isn't making any move on me. If he isn't making any move on me why is it wrong to hang out with him? If he made a move on me I would reject him. That's all. I don't see why I'm in the wrong here.

>>34409405
BECAUSE
YOU ARE
MEETING
ANOTHER GUY
PRIVATELY
WHILE
IN A RELATIONSHIP

Jesus fuck

>>34409396
>I too make arguments ignoring what other say to make my point.
No what you do is you make rebuttals that are passive aggressive and sarcastic, like a bitch. Like a feminized bitch made girly guy. Fatherless as fuck

>>34409405
You're not in the wrong, you're just being socially witless. Don't take it so personally and correct yourself if you want your relationship to go smoothly. If you can't do that then just break up because clearly the guy friends would be more important to you. You should get friends yeah, but just hang with girls. That's what adjusted females do

>>34409396
Women aren't men. Women regularly friend zone guys or keep them at distance while still putting social energy into them. Men don't work like that. When men invest, they expect payoff.

That's because women value a man for social status, entertainment or resources. Women are not entertaining outside of their bodies. Men just want to fuck and be with a good looking woman (for regular sex) who isn't a pain in the arse.

>>34409419
>>34409405
And before you say it, bk men shouldn't have female friends in a relationship either. The only guys who collect female friends are fuck boys who pump and dump, desperate orbiting autists, and homosexuals. Straight adult men who grew up are content with their bros for friends and their woman for female companionship.

This mixed gender friend shit only works in school teenage high school shit. If you're an adult and you still operate as if you're in teens, you might wanna advance your maturity to catch up with the rest of society

>>34409405
Oh so you and this friend have had a discussion that moves are unwelcome?

>>34409470
ofc not, she's still waiting for him to move in

>>34409407
grounds for you to move on and find someone you would like to spend time with of equal gender oppositism - especially if there is physical evidence such as info from a private eye or hickies or something. Equivalent to makeup on the collar

>>34409479
Nta but if you're in a social situation where you are waiting for moves to maybe happen, and you know you don't want moves to be made, maybe don't play games and stop befriending opposite sex people who also happen to be single.

>>34409485
women can't into accountability.
She let him fuck so she would not come off as rude :(

>>34409489
>She let him fuck so she would not come off as rude :(
Lmao. And if the boyfriend/husband tried to put his foot down he's a dumb controlling meanie man!

This is just gender dynamics in a nutshell. Women hate us men for being possessive and protective when they're young and naive, but they demand it form us the minute we put a baby in them. The very thing they hate about us is the thing they crave when they're vulnerable and needy.

OP doesn't even count her blessing or know understand what she has. There's women out there who would fucking kill for a man to show a bit of jealousy for her. OP doesn't even flinch.

>>34408794
You sound like a unsympathetic bitch. Just a question before you start whoring around. He is a fucking loser for having a gf like you. Just end it, it's over.

>>34409405
>Yeah, this is what I wonder, why doesn't he trust me?
Because you keep fighting him on it. You keep putting up a haughty and stubborn refusal. I'll let it out this way, I'm an older married man with several relationships under my belt in my youth:

>I date a girl
>It's going great
>Another guy comes along, a guy with no gf, a single guy
>He deliberately approaches my gf
>He strikes up convo, asks for numbers

Now here is where we can measure the high value woman from the middling value woman from the low value woman

>High value woman
Tells the loser to take a hike. Knows it's a spooky socially deficient pervert right off the bat.

>Middle value woman
Entertains a convo, out of fear of confrontation, gives a fake number or otherwise ghosts him later when she feels safe

>Low value woman
Instantly throws her digits out, can't say no, doesn't want to say no. Goes along with it.

And the lowest of the low woman:
>Fights with her own boyfriend when said boyfriend takes issue with what she's done. Instead of wearing big girl panties and having courage to turn down opportunistic men, was a coward. But she wears it to shame her boyfriend and have a brat episode with her own man.

It's not classy behaviour at all femanon, it ain't right. There's two types of females who wind up in this bottom feeding social pit:
>Autist girls who mean well but are so fucking socially blind and in their own head they don't know their ass from their elbow socially and end up in all kinds of precarious situations and act surprised when they fucked something up but were too proud to listen to others

And

>Mentally ill BPD cock guzzling whores who do not want to let go of make attention and enjoy stringing men along to feed their hollow open infected wound they call a "heart" aka cheating whores.

If your aim in life is to be middling value or above, drop the attitude you keep showing your boyfriend

He thinks he worries? I dated a bisexual man. What's he supposed to do just never hang out with anyone 1 on 1 except me or a family member?

If your bf were just mad about the 1 on 1 study sessions that you seem very defensive of I'd be more willing to hear him out but restricting you from the mixed group is too far. I'd be getting a little paranoid that it's projection and he's cheating on me. If you don't care if the relationship blows up give him some of that energy back. If he doesn't trust you you shouldn't trust him.

>>34409643
lmao imagine datong a faggot

>>34409598
>>34409405
And also here is the tier list for high value men Vs. middle value men Vs. low value men Vs. lowest of the low

>High value man
Will dump you for your weird games (unintentional or not) that involved getting close with other guys who were clearly orbiting. Will dump you & close off all communication if you happened to try to throw a brat tantrum to shame him for having self respect. High value man won't argue or abuse or accuse. He just dumps, you're emotionally homeless overnight.

>Middle value man
Argues, fights with you on it, tries to assert himself yet fails to understand to assert himself he needs to value his own life and who he allows to be play a part in it. Doesn't dump the girl and keeps trying to neg her and growl at her to fall in line.

>Low value man
Becomes abusive becomes a crying weepy bitch about it, uses emotional manipulation or guilting or fake tears, behaves like a little girl and sulks and punches dry wall if you won't listen to him, cries about how women never respect him but can't see it's because theres nothing to respect in a male pussy.

>Lowest of the low value man
The type of guy who acts as your cheerleader, tells you "You go girl! Throw the WHOLE man away!" The guy who kisses your ass only because he is trying to sneak a few kisses to your pussy. Total wimp, effeminate, momma's boy, hates other men, is bitch made and has internalized a female mindset in the body of a man. He even talks like a girl too.

>>34409643
>Dating a bisexual
>Past tense word: "dated"
Yeah you dated. And you broke up. Wonder why. Couldn't be that bisexuals are emotionally unhinged 9/10 times?

>>34409644
>>34409650
Hell of a lot better than any of the straight guys I dated. The bisexual never once punched a wall and was a pussy eating pro.

>>34409653
You're vulgar. No wonder you lost all the relationships. "Was a pussy eating pro" you talk like a man. Just replace "pussy eating" with dick sucking and you sound like a man. No wonder you attracted the bisexual

>>34409660
You sound much gayer than he was

>>34409684
I don't think your assessment counts for anything femanon, you found a half-faggot to be appetizing.

>>34409470
We didn't have any discussion about this, wtf.
>>34409419
The guy friend isn't more important to me but I don't want to lose friends either.
>>34409427
Idk, one of my other male friends has mostly girl friends. He never makes any move though. He only had one girlfriend in his life so he's not some player. And he's a very good guy.
>>34409598
Except this guy we're talking about didn't make any move. He didn't ask for my number like the one in your scenario.

>>34409653
because he was an unmasculine faggot perhaps? You should be in fear of getting decked like tbe cupboard when misstepping in a relationship with a real man.

>>34409794
He could still kill me if he wanted to the lack of wall punching was an attractive choice on his part. A man having some level of self control ruins less of my personal belongings and I'm very cool with that.

>>34409809
idk sucking other men's dicks kinda puts a damper on his masculinity.

>>34409810
Maybe to you. Plus his attraction to men barely came up. How often would you mention being attracted to other women in front of your girlfriend? Think about it.

>>34409816
all the time. I always pointed out better looking girls when we were out and about.

>>34409816
>Maybe to you.
Nta but your cognitive dissonance must be off the charts. There's no way in hell you think a man sucking off another man is masculine. A man on his knees to receive a cock is the most feminine thing a man can do. Let me guess was he a femboy? Did he wear shimapan knee socks? Did he glomp you? Did he gigglesquee nom your pussy? Fuck outta here

>>34409819
Oh you're just larping ok

>>34409830
I'm not. She cheated on me with a supermodel who had his dick down to his knees and didn't give 2 fucks about her(I read her diary).
This only reaffirmed my beliefs.

>>34409775
>The guy friend isn't more important to me but I don't want to lose friends either.
You don't have to lose them. Just put social distance between yourself and them. Make them into acquaintances. Do you know how to do that?

>Idk, one of my other male friends has mostly girl friends. He never makes any move though. He only had one girlfriend in his life so he's not some player.
You haven't seen the moves. Also his lack of girlfriends is evidence of being a player. Players don't date girls, they fuck them. You really got a lot to learn lol
>Except this guy we're talking about didn't make any move. He didn't ask for my number like the one in your scenario.
The scenario is a generalization I made. It's meant to convey a singular truth for a core dynamic. That dynamic is when a girl in a relationship makes 'friends' with single men.

Whose idea was it to study together, yours or his? Who asked to do it first, you or him?

These people are all cuckoldry obsessed retards, and they've already decided you're a whore. Their posts are not worth taking seriously. also >>34408921 should either pay the 100 or kill himself on stream.

>>34408851
>Tell him what? He knows everything in this post.
Does he know how you feel about it? Does he know if this is a dealbreaker? Do YOU know if this is a dealbreaker? You're gonna have to decide whether or not you're okay with things continuing the way they are, with him throwing jealous little tantrums any time you accidentally breathe in an oxygen molecule that some other guy's penis has touched. And if you're not okay with that, you're gonna have to do something about it. That'll be a hard conversation that I don't have enough emotional context for because I'm not in this relationship, so I don't have any advice for that beyond the generic shit about using "I"-statements. And honestly, I don't even think that "I"-statements shit works, it's more useful for making yourself less mad than making the other person less mad, and you're already the less mad one in this scenario.
Second, less important thing: because this thread is a bunch of kissless handholdless virgins, they don't understand that you can be friends with someone you kind of want to fuck while also realizing it's not gonna happen and being fine with that. I don't even know if study buddy wants to fuck you, and you probably don't, either. He sounds normal.
Third, who the fuck gets dating advice from 4chan? Why is /adv/ even a thing, who thought this was a good idea?

>>34409824
Alright I'll bite, at least talking about it is interesting.
It's not like he's trans and was raised like a girl. I really think you're overthinking this he didn't even want me to touch his asshole, ever.
He was a pretty typical white american man just not politically conservative. Like I can't even think of an example of a gay or female coded thing he would do.

>>34408794
>I don't know what to do about this
Dump his ass right away. This is a serious red flag.

t. man who knows what the red flags are in men

>>34409841
Except taking dicks up his ass and throat lmao

>>34409840
>that I don't have enough emotional context for because I'm not in this relationship
>Proceeds to describe the nature of her relationship to both bf and study buddy
>Calls /adv/ full of kissless handholding virgins

What's your portfolio then, Mr "Right"? When did you lose your virginity? How many long term relationships have you been in? What is your current relationship status right now?

>>34408794
Straight men can never be platonic friends with an attractive woman.
Regardless of what you want, you male friend is almost guaranteed to want to fuck you. Your bf knows this because he's a man himself.
And if, for example, you were break it off with your bf and hook up with your friend instead, he'd just tell you the same thing your bf is telling you now: Don't hang out with any other guys.

You may think of it as possessive but guys know guys, and your bf clearly cares about you and the relationship.
If he was totally fine with or just indifferent towards you hanging out with other guys, he would clearly not be committed to you, and likely cheating.
You should cherish a guy who cares about you and wants only you.

>>34409841
>It's not like he's trans and was raised like a girl. I really think you're overthinking this he didn't even want me to touch his asshole, ever.
There, he reserved his asshole for men. I bet he referred to it as a "boy pussy".

>Just not politically conservative
Yeah no shit. Faggots tend to be liberal
>I can't even think of a gay or female coded thing he would do
He did the thing that makes homosexuality, homosexual. He got fucked by men

>>34409859
in my exp bisexuals are just pussy starved incels who bit the bullet and delved into homosexuality out of desperation.

>>34409851
23, 2, single, and you're a faggot.

>>34409850
>>34409859
Did you not read the part about no ass stuff.
I dated a "straight" guy who wanted me to put a vibrator in his ass I vastly prefer the openly bisexual man who doesn't like butt stuff done to him.
And either way this is a major oversimplification.
A man who unironically enjoys watching ruPaul's drag race is gayer than a guy who takes it up the ass occasionally.

>>34409839
>Do you know how to do that?
Well I don't really and I also don't know where "acquaintances" end and "friends" begin.
>You haven't seen the moves. Also his lack of girlfriends is evidence of being a player. Players don't date girls, they fuck them. You really got a lot to learn lol
He's friends with most of my female friends here at uni so if he made a move or had sex with one of them I would hear about it lol. I don't know why you guys can't picture someone spending time with a person of the opposite sex without wanting to fuck them.
>Whose idea was it to study together, yours or his? Who asked to do it first, you or him?
He suggested it first.
>>34409840
>Does he know how you feel about it?
Yes.
>Does he know if this is a dealbreaker? Do YOU know if this is a dealbreaker?
Well if he keeps being an asshole towards me because of this and will really demand me to stop talking with boys completely then I don't know whether I'll be able to do that. So far I've been trying to explain to him that it's okay to have friends of the opposite sex. I hope he will realize it soon.

>>34408794
This is a huge incel board so you’re gonna get tons of people defending your boyfriend. But he’s being unreasonable. Your relationship doesn’t control who you spend time with. Just tell your boyfriend, unequivocally, that he does not get to control who you see or spend time with. Full stop. No discussion. He’ll probably freak out and shit his diaper so get ready. Once he’s fully revealed his inner baby you can decide if you’re still into him or not.

>>34409874
My literal therapist lamented the fact that men and women are incapable of forming a platonic relationship if either party is attracted in the slightest.

>>34409874
so you're basically dead set on cheating on your bf? What's the point of this thread anyways? It's your call of you want to waste 3 years for some retard you taoe econ with.

>>34409874
>He suggested it first.
lol

This thread is funny to me because this exact situation is how my best friend met his current gf. My congratulations to OP's soon-to-be new bf.

>>34409874
>Well I don't really and I also don't know where "acquaintances" end and "friends" begin
I know and that's why I believe you wrongfully identified this study classmate as a friend only for your bf worked up over nothing. As I said before, I think you're just innocent and naive that's all. I don't think you're a bad person or some two-bit whore, you seem genuine.

>He's friends with most of my female friends here at uni so if he made a move or had sex with one of them I would hear about it
Would you? Are you part of girl's gossip circles? Do they include you with girl only gatherings and friend groups? Or are these classmates who you keep calling "friends"?

Look here is the difference between a friend and an acquaintance:
>Acquaintance
Someone you interact with in an incidental context. At work, at school, at a social function where you are expected to or even require to interact with others. You enjoy chit chat with acquaintances, maybe even share some but limited personal information. Maybe go to social outings with them, casually. That's an acquaintance.

A friend is someone who knows your life story, your strengths and weaknesses, knows what you love knows what you fear, will be with you in your hardest days. A female friend for example is the chick who helps hold your hair as you vomit in a toilet bowl after a drunk night. It's the chick who will listen to you cry and console you and take you somewhere fun to cheer you up. That's a friend. Someone who is with you no matter how fucked you feel.

>He suggested it first
Yes I bet he did. And you thought he was just being "friendly". You didn't read it as trying to get you alone with him for a reason?

Let me ask you this: there's a guy who you know is married to a girl you are aware of. Would you ask to spend time alone with him behind his wife's back or approval?

>>34409869
>23, 2, single
Rookie numbers. 15, 6, married. You're outclassed my opinion now outweighs yours. Back of the line!

>>34409881
The "if either party is attracted in the slightest" is a very important part of the sentence.
>>34409892
I'm not cheating on anyone, stop assuming.
>>34409930
>Would you? Are you part of girl's gossip circles? Do they include you with girl only gatherings and friend groups? Or are these classmates who you keep calling "friends"?
I do hang out with girl groups, I don't know what exactly is included in being a "part of girl's gossip circles" so I can't really answer that. Also my friend who I have known since high schools who I am very close to studies here too, she knows these girls as well and she herself is friends with this guy too. So even if no one else she would definitely tell me, she tells me all kinds of "gossips" as you call it.
>And you thought he was just being "friendly". You didn't read it as trying to get you alone with him for a reason?
No, I didn't see it that way. If he wanted something else from me why hasn't he made any move? There has never been any sign he wanted something else from me than being friends. He probably doesn't have anyone else to talk about the subject with either.
>there's a guy who you know is married to a girl you are aware of. Would you ask to spend time alone with him behind his wife's back or approval?
I wouldn't want to purposely spend time with him alone but if it happened that we have something in common, we have a shared interest and we would hang out for an hour more at uni talking about it I don't think it's something wrong. Like I said previously even in this situation, I don't insist we need to be "alone", if anyone wanted to join us I'd be happy there's more of us. It just happens no one else is there who would. It's not like he invited me to a restaurant.

>>34408851
The fact of the matter is that you're disrespecting your relationship by spending 1 on 1 time with another guy like that. If you don't see that, you're not mature enough to be in a relationship.

You may not have any ill intent, but I guarantee he would fuck you if he had the opportunity.

>>34409974
>she tells me all kinds of "gossips" as you call it.
I believe that. But there's something else to consider. Girl's gossip, but they never gossip on themselves. So if you're expecting girls to out themselves as fucking the local fuck boy, they never will. And you will never hear about it. When I say girls gossip I mean when girls talk shit about other girls or guys when they hear that one of the girls was an easy lay, or if a guy was being a weirdo.

>No, I didn't see it that way. If he wanted something else from me why hasn't he made any move?
Him asking you to be alone with him consistently IS the move that's what you don't understand. He's what other men already pointed out, a weak bottom feeder. He's like a dog that waits at the table waiting for crumbs to spill. He waits for your breakup with BF. And he is in position to lick up the leftovers. He's playing the feeble game, and he won't want you to invite other people. He will weakly agree to it if you announced it but deep down he will loathe that.

>I don't insist we need to be "alone", if anyone wanted to join us I'd be happy there's more of us. It just happens no one else is there who would

He insisted it though. That's why he approached and asked you alone.

>>34410040
>but they never gossip on themselves. So if you're expecting girls to out themselves as fucking the local fuck boy, they never will. And you will never hear about it. When I say girls gossip I mean when girls talk shit about other girls or guys when they hear that one of the girls was an easy lay,
Well I think some of the girls would hear something then about another girl related to that guy if something actually happened, don't you think? If he were such a fuckboy everyone would know it but I have never heard anyone describe him that way.
>Him asking you to be alone with him consistently IS the move that's what you don't understand.
>He insisted it though. That's why he approached and asked you alone.
He didn't exactly "insist", it came up naturally in a conversation after class. We were both writing a paper for the class, so we started talking about it and he suggested to stay for a bit longer at uni so we could both look at what each of us has written. He didn't come up to me in a hall and randomly asked me to stay with him at uni.

>>34409974
>I wouldn't want to purposely spend time with him alone but if it happened that we have something in common, we have a shared interest and we would hang out for an hour more at uni talking about it I don't think it's something wrong.

And also this is a other way you seem to fail the social etiquette filter. You think it's acceptable because (you) think it's acceptable. You wouldn't consider what's collectively acceptable, socially speaking. You wouldn't consider or wonder if it's acceptable to the guy's wife, you'd just torpedo straight into a probable drama shit show. You'd be an accidental 'bunny boiler', a side chick who doesn't even know she's become a side chick. Then before you know it your name is dragged by an angry wife and mother and the local community mistakes you for a slut or home wrecker because you could not read the signs you were shaking hands with an adulterous husband.

Have you always had these social blindspots and gotten into social messes that for some reason kept happening and you did not know why?

For what sounds like just an acquaintance and someone you have no interest in, he's just a fellow student to study with and could be anybody, you sure know a lot about him and vigorously defending his right to have access to you.

Me thinks there is more here than you let on and your bf smells something off. You are playing the naive game and successfully tagged your bf as a jealous bitch boy with your roommate. How long will it be, if not already, you discuss your relationship and solicit input from your new male "friend"

>>34408794
>about me hanging out with some of them one on one
Reasonable to not want that.
>he even has a problem with me being in a mixed friend group
Unreasonable to not want that probably.

>>34410059
>We were both writing a paper for the class, so we started talking about it and he suggested to stay for a bit longer at uni so we could both look at what each of us has written.
Yeah so he insisted. You have this cartoon way of thinking, you think I was assuming he approached you like in a ron-com? I'm speaking about reality. Reality is he could have asked for a picture of what you wrote or a copy for his studying. He could have asked you to formally send him notes of your work via email.

But he didn't ask for that way of doing it. Do you know why? Because it was not about the work or study, it's about getting closer to you 1 on 1. The studying shit was a ploy, an excuse to get you alone with him. And you fell for it thinking he just wanted to discuss a paper lol.

Think femanon, think. If it was truly about the paper he'd have just asked for a copy or summary via email. At a social distance. He instead insisted on something more personal, and more intimate.

Think hard. Why do you think that is?

>>34409974
>she herself is friends with this guy too
So you discuss your bf and this new friend of yours with your friend that is his friend as well? You do know this new guy friend knows there is trouble now with your bf.

I bet you do wonder why this guy hasn't made any move. I bet you expect at some point he will. I bet your girlfriend also knows he will. What you had was a big group of male and female acquaintances that got together occasionally as any university will. But as usually happens some pair off and you and this new guy have.

>>34410075
>Think femanon, think
anon. this girl knows what is happening. She just wants to confirm it is and the guy isn't forthcoming. She is interested and wants to know for certain he is too. The after class thing is promising but not concrete. She needs him to make his move and she's likely frustrated. That frustration is directed at her bf that is the turd in her punchbowl.

>>34410099
If that's true it means her denial and obliviousness is a LARP she performs to herself to soothe her conscience or something. I've met girls like that, I don't think OP is that type. Her posts are much too sober and dry and formal. I'm thinking a femautist who genuinely hasn't a clue what's she gets into but she always assumes she does, that's why she argues back when something is obvious and can't see it. The type of girl you're describing exists yeah but those are the spooky borderline sluts, the ones who are both the victim and perpetrator at the same time lol

>>34410068
I'm defending my right to have friends. There is nothing else to it.
>>34410065
I'm honestly getting confused by all of this, am I really that bad at social situations? Well, it's true some people have considered me to be a bit weird. I don't remember getting into what you'd call a "sociall mess" so that probably not. Maybe I'm weird because I don't immediately think about sex when I see a person of the opposite sex so that's why I don't think there is anything wrong to hang out with them.
>>34410075
>If it was truly about the paper he'd have just asked for a copy or summary via email. At a social distance. He instead insisted on something more personal, and more intimate.
Well isn't it easier to talk about it and discuss something irl than via email? Is wanting to study with someone really "making a move"?
>>34410086
That was about someone else, read the thread.
>>34410099
Some people here think I want to cheat, say I'm a whore when the only person I've ever slept with is my boyfriend.

>>34410104
She has been telling her bf he is crazy and this guy no threat. She likely whines to her gf he doesn't like her and not threat but this guy means a lot to her and she expects more from him.

>>34410109
You still are playing naive. The guy is interested in you. No need to worry with that anymore. Continue to be available and a real invitation or confession will come. Then you two can decide what to do. Your bf is not part of this charade you are performing.

>>34409944
Well I hope your husband is very happy

>>34410104
This new guy is likely only the second guy she kinda likes and she is feeling that out of control feel for the first time in 3 or 4 years. She is having an internal struggle, stomach in knots, because she doesn't know if the guy likes her or not. The one male that is telling her the guy likes her is unfortunately her own bf. She is torn. The irony of this is off the charts. Bf says it is true and thats promising but she doesn't want to believe it since she feels guilty and insecure about new love. Everyone goes through that shit

>>34410109
>I'm honestly getting confused by all of this, am I really that bad at social situations?
I wouldn't say you're bad at social situations as a whole. For example what we're doing right now is a social situation, I'm a person and you're a person and we're in communication, albeit over the internet. From the way you communicate I can tell you that you are cordial, polite, reserved, and patient. You kept a cool head despite criticism flak and abusive comments thrown at you. That's your social strength. However, everyone has a weakness, everyone has a strength too. Your weakness is you don't see ulterior motives. You can't seem to identify when someone's intentions are being 'said' nonverbally. The classic example was your misread of that paper/studying ploy the guy pulled, you didn't see the obvious.

You are in a social mess by the way, your relationship is taking a hit from what's happened, from what you walked into. What else would you call that? Your relationship hit a rock due to social waters you swam into. Your BF is resentfully alarmed, you're stressed to shit and on the backfoot, meanwhile your friend-acquaintances now know about your relationship drama because you over shared. Your roomie for example, you let her in on your relationship problems. And also the dozens of anons here.

That is a social mess.

>>34410163
>Everyone goes through that shit
Maybe it's a female thing. I never went through that shit as a man. I think this has gotta be some woman moment shit, it would explain why every female driven romantic fantasy novel is always about a plain jane boring Mary Sue woman who has two male options she is always torn between, the classic Bad Guy who demands she fuck him, and the Sweet Nice Guy who insists to be the only man to get to fuck her.

And in the stories the Plain Jane chick fucks both but settles on herself and becomes a girlboss the end

>>34410109
>Is wanting to study with a woman 1 on 1 really "making a move"?
Yes it is. If I want to fuck a girl, I try to get her alone on a regular basis and get her to feel comfortable with me. I know this may take multiple study dates before this happens.

Your boyfriend is calling more because he thinks you're cheating on him. Yes he should trust, but you not picking up your phone isn't helping. When you don't answer, he is thinking you're too busy to answer because he thinks you're getting fucked by the study guy.

>>34410109
>Well isn't it easier to talk about it and discuss something irl than via email? Is wanting to study with someone really "making a move"?

No it's easier to send the email, duh. It takes seconds, talking about it takes half an hour to an hour or more. The email is quick and efficient, and the person reading does not need (you) to be near them in person.
Talking requires you to be near them, alone, one on one.

The sign is fucking obvious lol. So here's the way to handle the feelings: Feel flattered. Everyone enjoys attention, everyone does. Even married people feel flattered if they're approach or hit on by people who are not their spouse. Because it's really, really nice to have more people give you a nice juicy "you're sexy/hot/funny/fuckable/smart/interesting" steak. Everyone love that's and anyone who denies it lies to themselves to save face.

So if you really are playing a charade and you know this guy is into you already and it makes your heart go pitter patter, know that is normal and not shameful. It's not even cheating. Just human reaction to human shit.

However what separates the mature from the immature is one you realize it's just a feeling, you control your actions by not caving into impulse feelings. You just choose to pursue your relationship you already got. And you won't feel happy about that since BF is stress right now, BF is mad at you. And new guy is being so nice and comfy.
New guy however, wait till you see what happens if you choose him.

Guys who sniff at taken girls aren't the kindest guys after their mask falls off. So good luck if you do choose him over BF

>>34410125
I've never told my boyfriend he is "crazy".
>>34410143
I'm not playing anything and I'm not "available".
>>34410163
I don't have any feelings towards this guy. I like him only as a friend.
>>34410196
Do you think there is zero chance the guy doesn't have an ulterior motive? Wouldn't he want to actively try to wreck my relationship if he had? But he doesn't ask me about my boyfriend or anything. I could imagine if someone wanted to do that he would be telling me things that would make me think my boyfriend is bad and I would break up with him. But he doesn't do anything like that.
>meanwhile your friend-acquaintances now know about your relationship drama because you over shared. Your roomie for example, you let her in on your relationship problems.
I don't know but I thought there was nothing wrong with me telling her that. We have a good relationship. Not all of my friends from uni know about this but a few of them do. I only told female friends by the way, although my roommate accidentally told one other mutual male friend we have about it.
>>34410257
I don't want to choose him. I want to be with my boyfriend. But I don't see all the evidence you're saying there is he wants something more. Do you think it would help if I convinced someone else to join us when we're together?

>>34410250
I was always picking up his phone but it's not normal to call me all the time. And like I said previously he does it when he knows I'm out too. He knows what I'm doing, I tell him I'm going out with a friend group and he still calls.

>>34408794
Take it from the expert
https://youtu.be/bObLBLB1OdY

>>34410281
>Do you think there is zero chance the guy doesn't have an ulterior motive?
No. Dogs eat bones, cats eats fish. He's a dog, a male. I'm a male, the others ITT who have tried to tell you the same thing over and over and over again are males. Do you know how me and the several other men were telling you the same thing? Despite the fact me and the other men ITT don't even know each other, just anonymous strangers who happened to have the exact same perspective? Despite all of us coming from different cultures, different countries? Some of us single some of us married some us young and some of us older? Do you know what the common denominator is? We all have balls and a cock. We're men and we know men and how they operate because that's how we operate. I operated that way as a young buck myself. Difference is, I didn't lure girls who I knew were taken for after-school "study". I didn't play the snake strat, the backdoor pussy strat. I only ever targeted women who were single and I was blunt and direct.

>But he doesn't ask me about my boyfriend or anything.
Why the fuck would he? He doesn't want to talk about the guy who he knows you have slept with. He's a guy. He'd rather focus on getting you to sleep with him.

>>34410284
>he does it when he knows I'm out too
Yes because he thinks you're out with the study buddy. And every time you refuse to pick up or act pissy if you do pick up he takes that as confirmation that you're annoyed because he's getting in the way of your fun with the new guy. That's what's going through his head.

All of this could have been avoided if you had noticed the trick the other guy played. There's some guys out there who know that when they pull this strategy it will cause a rift in their target's relationship, and they count on the girl to run to them (the new guy) for emotional support whenever she feels unhappy after an argument with boyfriend. It's snake strat shit and you don't even need to talk to the snake about your relationship, he already knows he's driving the wedge.

>>34410281
>Wouldn't he want to actively try to wreck my relationship if he had?
He doesn't need to ask about your boyfriend to try to wreck your relationship. He can just be nice to you. That's all he needs to do. Your boyfriend is insecure and it is already wrecking your relationship. Study guy, if he is wanting to make a play on you at some point, will wait it out.

Also, when someone said that you have "orbiters" and you said you have don't but that you have "male friends". Well, it can be the same thing. An orbiter is someone who is patient, they just hang out with a woman and will make a move if an easy oppurtunity presents itself. They may also orbit multiple women, just waiting. Some guys, usually those who are considered "beta males" (although, I don't subscribe to that,) will wait for YEARS and through multiple boyfriends. Mainly, because those sorts would like to be with you, but operate on the man code to try not to steal another man's girlfriend away because they wouldn't want that done to them. While "honorable" not all men follow this code.

>>34410351
Well written. Call me a lunatic but I've more respect for blunt girlfriend stealers than the orbiter cuckolds you describe. I can respect the guy who abides by the bro code. I can respect the guy who breaks the bro code with zero fucks given. What I hate the most is the weasel who tries to lawyer around bro code by trying to wait like a fly around a turd. Like an annoying little tumour, just being a social parasite, in the background like some rat. What they do isn't honourable, what's honourable is moving on and ceasing pursuit of a dude's girlfriend altogether. What they do isn't shamelessly confident or bold either, they don't just say "fuck the other guy" and move in and take what he wants either. They're shameful and weak instead. Orbiters are truly the worst of all in my opinion. At least guys who bluntly fuck your girl in a loud and direct manner indirectly help you identify your girl is a whore and you can dump her and feed her to the wolf. The orbiter serves no use to anyone but their own buzzing neurotic whining

Cut this guy and anyone very close to him out of your life and your mind. Parents, cousins, you name it. If they invite you to gatherings, wedding or funerals, you politely decline.

>>34410427
Yeah that's what my family did for my ex girlfriend after we broke up. My parents and cousins and friends invited her to weddings and funerals and social gatherings that weren't even about her. Because she was a special main character, everyone wanted to invite her to everything because she was so special.

Lol what fucking planet do you live on? No one is that important that family of the ex invites you to anywhere once the break up is done. You're not that special

>>34410289
Have you actually watched the video and not just this short? Because he actually advises men to engage in friendships with women.

>>34410433
Just to clarify, I was talking about her 'study' partner

>>34410466
Oh then that changes everything. Would absolutely orbiter's family really try to rope the girl in like that? Would an orbiter's family even give enough of a fuck about their orbiter son that they'd play psy-ops to help him score a crumb of pussy? Do you have any stories to share of that happening? I'd like to hear it

>>34410443
I mean, if it gives you a better chance of finding a girlfriend, then it's quite reasonable, as long as you don't get too close to multiple women at once of course

>>34410485
Bottom-feeding is what it's called.

File: 1775499193691952.png (2 KB, 400x400)

2 KB PNG

>>34409368
>He also goes out with us sometimes (I mean my friend group when we go out somewhere).
Hmmm, I wonder why you left this out of the OP. Let me fix that for you.
>My boyfriend has an issue with me hanging out with a guy who's trying to fuck me.
>He wants me to completely stop hanging out with the guy who's trying to fuck me.
>And it's not only about me hanging out with the guy who's trying to fuck me one-on-one; he even has a problem with me being in a friend group that includes the guy who's trying to fuck me.
>We hang out as a friend group, which has both girls and boys, including the guy who's trying to fuck me, and he's upset because of that.
>He doesn't want the guy who's trying to fuck me near me.
>I think it started shortly after me and the guy who's trying to fuck me started studying together, and mostly it's just the two of us.

>>34410495
Lmao bingo

Espero estar escribiendo en este hilo, pero quizás el sobre piensa mucho y es muy paranoico entonces puede que cuando tu estas cerca de otros chicos el piense que ellos se van a acercar más a ti y más cuando es a distancia. Yo creo que deberías de entenderlo y explicarle tu versión donde le dices que no pasaría nada y tienen una charla larga de eso y que si el siente eso te lo pueda contar tranquilamente con confianza y eso.

>>34410473
I'm a guy and I experienced something like a psy-op myself. It went so far that the cousin of a guy, who also spent way too much time with a girl I liked, told me that they had gotten together while I was away for work for a few months.
After those months, I had a conversation with this cousin because he was one of the few people in this friends group I trusted on a more personal level. I wanted to understand where things had gone wrong between me and this girl.
A few months after that conversation, I found out on my own that he had lied to me and that they had never gotten together

The normie stance is that men and women can be friends. Either he never believed that and hid it to avoid showing red flags on or he adapted this belief because he got jealous over one guy. Both of these would be manipulative behaviors.

Either way, what's keeping you from dumping him? You'll find millions of men who won't try to control you that way.

>>34408794
https://youtu.be/b5Q4KG1ZtVg
As my man Steve said, you can tell your study buddy that you broke up with your boyfriend and see how easily he takes the opportunity to "console" you. Just in case, the probability is low, but be careful and ready to defend yourself from his assault.

Based on the posts I read and OP's replies, I can safely conclude that she is a whore waiting to monkey branch.

>>34410512
Oh that's because the cousin wanted to fuck your woman, not the guy.

>>34410515
>The normie stance is that men and women can be friends
That isn't the normie stance. If you are not a normies you cannot accurately tell what the normie stance is. Outsiders don't know what happens on the inside. The normie stance is this:
A man and a woman can be friends. When they become friends, we call them boyfriend & girlfriend. The clues are in the words boy(friend), girl(friend). Autists and non-normies have this funny way of misreading everything to the point of lunacy. Autists think you can be friends with anyone, everyone, guys, girls, the homeless bum under the street, dogs, cats, even your own children. Sperg parents will raise absolute brats because they thought they could abdicate the role of parent to be a "friend" to a child. Hell some of the crazier spergs will befriend 13 year olds even when they're in their fucking 20's.

Anyway, in normie-land yes you can be a friend to the opposite sex. When you've done that you are dating, you are boy(friend) and girl(friend). And if you continue to try to have an extra opposite sex friend on top of that, the normies will bite their tongue. Behind your back the words "deadbeat" and "slut" are used to then describe you. Normies aren't too different from your average angry autist the only difference is they know when to keep their mouth shut.

Also jealousy isn't a behaviour, jealousy is a feeling. You would know the difference between those if you had a functional emotional regulatory system but presumably you're not a normie so it tracks

>>34410281
Ask the study buddy out on a date as an experiment. If he turns you down, you're right.

File: men and women.jpg (365 KB, 850x1263)

365 KB JPG

Perhaps this misunderstanding arises because we men view sex as something more casual and easily given? I mean, we don't have to worry about pregnancy, and cleaning a dick is much easier than washing the insides of a vagina. The act itself, not the feelings, is just not that big of a deal for us and we don't feel as "dirty" afterwards.
If a woman is good enough to be our friend, then by default she's good enough to at least pityfuck her if she asks to help her out, provided she's single, not too old, too young, too sick with STDs, etc.
Thus, sexual interest and readiness manifest themselves in our brains much more naturally in almost any relationship with the opposite sex.

>>34410281
>But I don't see all the evidence you're saying there is he wants something more. Do you think it would help if I convinced someone else to join us when we're together?

Also forgot to answer: No this will not help you. It will make it worse if anything. Here are what unfolds from that:

>Your study buddy
gets annoyed because he specifically wanted you alone with him. Your "friendship" will turn weird when you do this.

>Your boyfriend
Will be even more pissed. Because you will tell him "Look, look see? I made efforts to include others, I have reassured you Mr Boyfriend? See? Look how loyal I am." Abd your boyfriend won't mentally interpret that as a show of loyalty. Your boyfriend will see that you went through so much effort to remain in the company of that other guy. And he will assume the reason you wanted to make so much effort and put up such a struggle to get to keep this male "friend" is because you are hoping for something more than friendship.

It's just logic, femanon. If someone is making all these frantic efforts to keep a guy around, even when it's clear the guy wants to fuck you, the conclusion anyone with a brain cell would make is that it's because you want to be fucked by him.

I am not saying this is how it is for you. But this is exactly how you make it appear. And you do that with your actions, which you think are well intentioned, but you are digging yourself into a bigger hole the more you try to have your cake and eat it too.

So we arrive back to the big ultimatum:
Either get rid of this orbiter fuck boy.
Or get rid of your panicked negging boyfriend.

You need to pick one, I know it sucks. But this is one of those adult life moments where you need to make a decision, you can't get to play spectator and do nothing. If you do nothing, you will lose both.

>>34410649
I think it has more to do with how much attention from the opposite sex the average man gets vs the average woman

>>34410649
Nah, I'm a guy and if I'm not seeing a future with her I ain't fucking her. Because the type of girl who lets men casually fuck her is like a flea bitten rat. No clue where she's been or what diseases she has (sexual and/or mental). If you are a somewhat sane guy, you'd know fucking a casual girl is almost the same as dicking down a mound of pig shit. I say almost the same because at least pig shit has a 0% chance to give you HIV. The whore has a chance to give you HIV.

>>34410649
>pic search
>"Izumi Tsubaki (椿 いづみ, Tsubaki Izumi; born December 11) is a Japanese manga artist, best known for her long-running series Oresama Teacher and Monthly Girls' Nozaki-kun."
Huh, this woman knows the deal

>>34410671
You're more or less correct. The female perspective is they are afraid of our attention yet simultaneously they want it. Women find men to be scary, we are big scary beasts to women. We are larger in average, we have louder or deeper voices, our muscles are stronger our bones denser and to top it all off we as men all have a proclivity towards aggression. Aggression is just a default emotion we have. Which is fine because it's a neutral emotion, it can be used for good or bad. But women lack aggression almost entirely, and that isn't necessarily goody goody either. It just means they're submissive, weaker, vulnerable. Women get spooked by male attention because the woman then has to go into [selective sex] mode and run all kinds of observations in her little head to figure out if the man is going to kill her or love her. That's why women are skittish, where as men we don't have that hang-up.

>>34410668
>>34410281
Also one last post from me OP. You may be thinking to yourself:
>"What the fuck why the fuck do I have to choose between my boyfriend and my "friend"? I didn't sign up for this. Who should I blame? My possessive and angry boyfriend? Or the shiftless orbiter who tricked me into study dates under false pretenses? Why are both guys vying for my attention? I just wanted a boyfriend and male "friends" at the same time!"

Remember when I asked you if your mother has male friends she hangs out with 1-on-1? Or if dad has a woman he goes out to see in private? And you said no? And you asked me why it was relevant and wondered what your parents relationship had to do with your situation?

Now you know why mature adults in long term relationships or marriages don't keep opposite sex friends around. Because this exact fucking predicament is what you get. Mature people understand human nature and they understand the limits of emotion. They develop ways to navigate around it and prevent bullshit from occurring if they want their relationship/marriage to make it to old age and dying together. They understand the best way to assure that is to not allow any emotional contamination from happening, point blank. They don't keep opposite sex friends, that's the bottom line.

Anyone who says you can do otherwise usually have something in common: they're single and/or have a string of failed relationships under their belt. If you wanna follow their advice, go ahead. It'll be a good life lesson for you to learn.

>>34410281
>my boyfriend is bad
You told your friend and she has told another male friend in your group. You can bet your study buddy knows your bf is giving you grief. All study buddy has to do is sit back and you land in his lap. If not him one of your other male friends will take their shot. As mentioned before you socialize with the same friends it is normal and expected pairs to break of together

>>34410327
>you're annoyed because he's getting in the way of your fun with the new guy
Well her bf is getting in the way of her fun with study buddy and why she is annoyed. She doesn't want to explain her bf called when other dick is around.

>>34408794
Fucking hell
Do your bf a favour and leave him so he can find someone worthy of being his wife. Stop wasting his time

>>34410544
She is worked up enough to give him an ultimatum she knows he cannot accept so she breaks up with her bf. She won't do that until she is certain study buddy is into her for real. Her angst is there and that goddamn bf won't stop calling.

>>34410763
They more or less did that already. Three years in, honeymoon phase over, the easy infatuation part endings the pivotal moment in a relationship where love has to be built and chosen consciously and a couple must grow together to keep going.
Typically the average couples become wedded, 3 years in.

Instead OP and BF thought it was a marvelous idea to grow apart and go study in separate universities across country. Real genius move on their part.

>>34410544
>>34410766
This
And what is so unbelievable about it all is the self delusion about it on an anonymous image board

>>34410766
>that goddamn bf won't stop calling.
That part makes me sad to read. My woman gets happy when I remember to call her, her mood lifts up and she's happy to hear my voice. Can't imagine having a woman who treats me like a cold caller or bad news on the phone every time I were to call.

>>34408794
he's right, you're a slut.

I didn't care about my first gf having a study buddy friend, and a month later she left me for him.
I didn't care about my second gf having a work friend and she left me for him.
I didn't care about my third gf cheating on me and she had a tinder profile.
My latest gf hung out with a guy all day and went drinking with him past midnight. I sabotaged the relationship after that.

From experience OP, you're an attention whore and you hate your boyfriend. You've probably already called him insecure. Just break up with him so he can start forgetting about you and you can hang out with all the men you want without anyone giving a shit since it's so important to you.

>>34411671
Third was meant to read as 'I didn't think' not "i didnt care". I left her after I saw the profile.

>>34411671
Can confirm. Women subconciously monkeybranch all the time. I was "just friends" with a girl. Close friends. For a long time. As soon as her boyfriend bailed on her for two weeks, I realize I have feelings and we fucked for a few months before she bailed on me and "didn't want to be anyone's girlfriend." She also met her ex behind my back, anyways. Fuck women, especially the ones who can't comprehend why mate guarding and boundaries exist. This is always why relationships fail.

>>34408794
>>34408851
>>34408914
10 to 1 likelyhood of OP ending up fucking the "study friend".

>>34411671
>>34411729
True stories boys. Here's mine:
>First GF
>Both took each others V at 16
>Date for 3 years all is good
>I'm excited about life, go work full time job to get us both money to build a future
>I normally never planned or organise shit in my life, usually waste time on videogames
>For her I decided to get my shit together even keep a notebook to write on at work to plan shit, money, house costs, everything. Was even thinking about us as I busted my ass for her
>She goes to college
You can guess what happens next

>She meets a friend group
>Mixed friends tells me it's no big deal
>Even got to meet them once
>One of the guys knows about me and her he's a weird quiet type
>Months go by my GF is texting less, calling less, hanging out with me less
>I suspect something is the matter
>She suddenly changed, her attitude is foul, she is always on defensive
>She admits the guy tried to be cute and gave her a gift but told me he is just a friend
>I tell her to put social distance down
>She doesn't. She gets irritable and even tells me to fuck off and stop being controlling
>Weeks go by
>She is staying overnight at the friend group in one of their homes
>I call and tell her to stop acting like this and to get home
>She gets angry and resentful then bursts into tears
>Confesses she and that guy she told me not to worry about shared a kiss
>But it "didn't mean anything"

I dump her then and there. Told her I hope this new guy is worth it
Cut all contact from her

>Years go by, several
>She emails me to tell me I was right, that the new guy wasn't worth it, claims she got cheated and even abused by him
>I don't feel happy she got abused. I don't care either. I don't respond.
>never spoke since, been 10 years
>I grew up, found a better woman, got married, have kids and my own family
>Afaik she is now an aging e-girl, no friends, her precious "friend group" stopped wanting to know her after college. Still lives with her mom

Some chicks ain't meant for love

>>34408794
lol the hypocrycy is it was reversed and he did this with girls and you didnt youd be mad
fuck off attentionwhore
all the guys you hang out with would unironically just fuck you and unless you are a retard you know it

>he doesn't have any female friends
Tell a guy that some of his male friends are bad influences and he's not supposed to hang out with them.
If he has any self-respect he'd blow you off. It follows for the opposite gender.

>>34412056
>Continued
The moral of the story is if you've got a girlfriend, and she goes to college, you say "bye-bye" to the relationship. Unless you go to the same college with her, the relationship is done. This is because women, especially young women (18-25) are neurotic and needy, extremely needy. College is stressful, studying is hard, worry of failure is high. And when women feel stressed their first instinct is to seek people. Every woman is like this, they're like infants who cry and run to the nearest daddy-figure when their finger has a booboo. They want someone to kiss it better for them. And if you as a man ain't around to do that, she finds someone else.

Some young girls are shameless about it and don't hide their proclivity, they will outright admit it and shove the man's nose in shit for bit being there for her.
Other girls try to deny this instinct and try to fight it, but they cave in eventually.

But either way the moral of the story is if you as a man are not around, the women feel vulnerable and unsupported and in their little heads they start the woman-moment hysterics, they justify unfaithfulness because they use their vulnerability as an excuse to go and meet other people. They will tell the man she is allowed to meet whoever she wants! And she sounds so principled in why you are controlling. Even though the man never tells her she cannot have friends. The man says "we are distant, we are separated due to college and work. Going to see others at this time will kill us". But the woman doesn't listen, she wants validation and she wants it NOW.
And if you don't run after her, she lets another man chase her instead.

Not all women will do this. This is because the women who don't are the women who don't go to college. The women who go to college typically never even do anything with their degree, my ex didn't. Turned out she just wanted to continue high school, she didn't want to grow up, she wanted life to remain a popularity contest

>>34409879
>>34409840
i saw this thread yesterday and am relieved to find some replies that don't sound like they were made by taliban.
imo if you can't trust your girl around other boys, then she's not your girl.
if it's a matter of concern for her safety, i haven't seen much mention of that

>>34412121
Nta but i'm one of the 'taliban' posters. The safety is part of the concern. 10% of the concern. 90% of it is admittedly a pride thing with young guys. Young men don't want to be cheated or monkeybranched, it's humiliating. If you want to bring a man's body low, kick him in the balls. If you want to break his spirit, cheat on him. And I don't mean cheat in the form of a spontaneous one time affair, I mean act like a moody and stubborn girl and slowly make him watch as you wander into the arms and bed if another man, and make him feel helpless as you slowly diminish respect for his concerns as you villainize him for wanting to remain your boyfriend. Call him controlling for feeling jealous, make him feel ugly for wanting you and then finish the job by sleeping with someone else, this breaks the male spirit.

The safety concern ain't there much. There is gonna be a safety concern for OP though. The guy my ex cheated with made her his GF, yeah. But girls who monkeybranch don't think 10 steps ahead. I could tell the guy was gonna abuse her. Why? Because guys who are able to convince girls to leave their boyfriends hate the girl for leaving their boyfriend deep down. The girl thinks her ex was controlling? Wait till she gets with the guy who talked her out of commitment. That type of guy hates girls like her, yet wants her too. Because he knows she is the type of girl who can be talked out of faithfulness. He should know, he was able to talk her out of it. So he knows someone else can talk her out of faithfulness with him. And guys like that won't just argue verbally, they raise fists.

>>34412149
>>34412121
>Cont
The problem with young idiots today, especially zoomers, is they use words like "controlling", "possessive" "manipulative" "narcissism" "trauma" "abusive" at the first drop of a hat. The first time someone demands accountability and reciprocation and they act like a victim. They have no understanding of what any of these words mean, their measure for "controlling" is weak and not rooted in reality, it's rooted in young ego. That's why those other posts you liked are ones which call a concerned boyfriend "controlling". That's not controlling. Controling is:
>If you don't do as you are fucking told, I will knock another tooth out
>If you don't shut up, I am going to leave you
>Look what you made me do, you stupid bitch
>If I catch you talking to anyone, you'll see what happens
>Don't even talk to your parents, don't call anyone
>If you leave the house, you better hope I don't find you

That's controlling. Controlling is you are truly forced against your will because someone uses fear or force to stop you. Controlling is not "ugh my boyfriend is mad at me for what I'm doing, he just doesn't get it." That's zoomer mentality to think that's controlling. A lot of you idiots haven't lived a full enough life to know what controlling even means

>>34412212
And lastly about young retards trying to "love"

They think jealousy is a red flag. They think an angry boyfriend is precipitation for abuse, they think men who put their foot down is a sign they're dating the bad guy. It's not. Conventional wisdom is you need to watch out for "Mr nice guy". This is why socially adjusted women, aka normies aka Stacey, she mocks the nice guy, she tells her girlfriends to stay far the fuck away from "nice guy". And she is right, this is female wisdom done right.

Autist NEETs panic and hate this, because they think girls are gonna reject him for being kind. Nice guy is not kind guy. Kind guy & nice guy are two separate beings entirely. Nice guy is to be avoided because nice guy is the guy who breaks the woman's teeth in at the end. "nice guy" is the so-called "narcissist". Nice guy is the one whose routine is "street angel, house devil". Lovely in public, charming and nice when you meet, but behind closed doors watch out. That nice guy mask falls apart and after nice guy succeeds in telling you to cut contact from your concerned boyfriend or concerned family, he shows you who he really is and by then it's too late, your dumbass shacked up with a demented lunatic.

In society we have a marker for this to alert people. It's called avoid the person who approaches girls who are taken. Avoid the homewrecking slut who approaches married men. Because their whole nice guy (or nice girl) is a strategy designed to target and ruin people they feel are happier than them.

I don't know why I bothered typing all this. Young retards never learn until they learn the hard way

>>34408794
>He wants me to completely stop hanging out with all my male friends.
Dump his controlling ass.

>>34412255
>I don't know why I bothered typing all this. Young retards never learn until they learn the hard way
Great fucking timing, bro >>34412268

>>34412444
Yeah I saw and chuckled, nothing can be done about it. Is what it is. I hate to admit it now as older guy myself, I used to hate my elders so much it was unreal when I was a kid. Now I realize they're right it's all true and the saying "Youth is wasted in the young" is the truest adage to describe the young. They can only learn through pain, is what it is bro

>>34412518
You should get rest. Don't write all those words, boomer. You will get tired.

>>34412588
Why are you so mad?

>>34409112
Just.
Choose.
Retard.

Hey, OP. Why not just test it for yourself if you don't believe us?
Next time you're "studying" with your male friend, start complaining about your bf and make stuff up about how he doesn't pay attention to you.
It's fine as you stated, they don't even know eachother.
Thrn, watch carefully how he reacts.
Is he uncomfortable, or is he lending his shoulder for you to cry on?
Leed him on for a bit and then tell him how you should probably just end things with your bf and find someone that at least lives in the same city as you and is happy to be around you while staring into his eyes.
Post results. Sex videos included.

>>34412255
You're spot on anon with everything you said

>>34408794
>But we don't do anything besides that
That's cause they are flies, they don't have the courage to act. Wait till you're both drunk, he will try to strip you naked. That's how weak males act. Your boyfriend is trying to build a serious relationship, but you don't seem to want the same, just break up with him and let him be free from a whore like you.

>>34412212
Your definition of controlling is unnecessarily restrictive. Should OP wait until she’s being physically abused to leave? Emotional abuse is still abuse. Trying to assert control over your partners normal behaviors to stroke your own fragile ego is not justified and it’s arguably abusive.
>>34412255
More incel ranting. Women do actually like men who are nice to them! Go figure! You think you’re a nice guy but you’re not, you defend abusers. So stop projecting please and let op get some real advice.

>>34411671
So is there truly nothing to be done at this point once her eyes start straying and she won't be told that there needs to be boundaries that are adhered to?

What is with women and doubling down on their retardation every time someone, or even multiple people tell them that what they're doing is a bad idea?
You see behavior like this in 3 year old toddlers. Do they never grow up from that stage?

>My boyfriend has an issue with me hanging out with other guys.

I stopped reading here. Is this a bait?

>>34413349
It sounds like that, but there are women THIS clueless and sheltered out there.

>>34408957
>Okay so
>but
>but
>what if
you're just a clueless whore, i don't know what to tell you. until the dude rapes you, or finally makes the first move, THEN you'd understand but it will be too late. even if you have good intentions, you cannot be blind about the way it looks and respecting that limited perception people have. you don't know what's going on in each other's head. it's best to respect that limitation and not cause unnecessary trouble. humans are complicated like that. there is no secret manual on "how to please boyfriend", so don't be a retard.

No such thing as male friends if you're female and vice versa. Your boyfriend is right to try and keep you on a short leash because you're a latent slut if you have that many male friends and see nothing wrong with it.

>>34408890
>>34408816
>>34408794

My ex did the same thing. she had male friends who she would spend 1 on 1 time with, and repeatedly tell me they were "just friends" any time I told her it made me uncomfortable. I don't have any female friends I spend alone time with which she told me was necessary for the relationship. However, as time went on, any time we would fight, she would use her male friends against me to make me jealous
>Anon why can you be more like Mark? He makes me laugh
>Look at the texts Kevin sends me, I wish YOU would send me these texts
>Jack complimented me in my dress and it made me feel loved, why dont you say more nice things like that?
and so on. Then it got worse
>Oh anon I asked Mark to go to the theater with me this weekend since I figured you dont care and probably wouldn't want to go anyways

She was incredibly narcissitic and could not understand that her spending time with those men really bothered me. At which point I broke up with her because I felt like I was competing with 5 other men all the time

>>34413214
>Your definition of controlling is unnecessarily restrictive. Should OP wait until she’s being physically abused to leave? Emotional abuse is still abuse. >Trying to assert control over your partners normal behaviors to stroke your own fragile ego is not justified and it’s arguably abusive.

You are an idiot. You inherited idiocy, and that makes you an idiot. You can stop being an idiot at any time, any time at all. You can start by doing something called 'critical thinking'

Examine that phrase "emotional abuse". Dissect it. What is abuse by definition? The misuse of power and/or control to deliberately hurt, frighten or manipulate someone.

What is emotion? You know. But what idiots like you refuse to acknowledge is emotions are involuntary. In-fucking-voluntary. No one can choose to feel something, you can choose to take part of something that helps evoke the emotion. But you can't actually have emotions in demand by yourself at will.

No one can.

So therefore we can say there is NO such thing as "emotional abuse". You absolute clown. You actually believe that shit? Abuse is the deliberate conscious misuse of power to deliberately hurt someone.

Emotions are not conscious forces, they are subconscious. There can be no emotional abuse. It does not exist.

The people who psychologically abuse, the people who do what you would call "emotional abuse" don't actually feel the emotions. They don't feel it because they're sociopaths. If OP boyfriend is feeling jealous, it means he FEELS. He is not an abuser for that, far fucking from it.

Now stop using terms you don't understand.

>>34413214
>More incel ranting. Women do actually like men who are nice to them! Go figure! You think you’re a nice guy but you’re not, you defend abusers. So stop projecting please and let op get some real advice.

I don't think I am a nice guy. I know for a fact I am not, and I am glad for it. I would rather be an honest man than a 'nice guy'. Because the nice guy is a fucking liar. Always has been, always will be. And take your 'incel' buzzword and cram it, I'm a lot of things but incel is not one of them

>>34410281
>Do you think there is zero chance the guy doesn't have an ulterior motive?

Ill go slightly against the grain and say that there is a chance that the guy has no ulterior motive, but only if he's also autistic/socialy inept or aromantic.
Im aromantic and i hung out in multiple girl groups, never even considering having feelings for any of them and even when they have shown very overt interest in me ( either rubbing my leg/ inviting me to their place or straight up confessing love despite having a boyfriend) i just flatly rejected them because im preety much incapable of having romantic feeling for them.

On the point of specificaly your male study friend, if i was in his shoes i would actively try to find an extra person for the study group,because even the IDEA of throwing a wedge in someone else's relationship (weather intentionaly or not) would tear me up inside

>>34413840
The fact that you can’t engage with me without stooping to a bunch of insults shows that you’re an abusive person yourself. Now you’re coming on here and trying to project that onto others. Sorry but not happening!
Go talk to a counselor or a psychiatrist and tell them “there is no such thing as emotional abuse” and watch them laugh in your face. You’re peddling nonsense to the poor op trying to get genuine advice. And your reddit spacing is obnoxious too.

>>34413838
>She was incredibly narcissitic and could not understand that her spending time with those men really bothered me. At which point I broke up with her because I felt like I was competing with 5 other men all the time.

Sorry you had to go through that bud. Just be glad you weren't one of her many human dildos that she used as tools to make someone else jealous on purpose. At least you weren't a simp. She did all that to get your attention because she felt you weren't giving her attention, so she consciously chose to make you jealous to get that attention. You could have given that harpy all of your attention 24/7, it still would not have been enough. Girls like her are sick, they've got problems that no one can fix. That's her problem, be glad she is no longer your problem. She'll be some simp retard's problem down the line. Some weak guy who believes women can never be wrong, some fatherless wimp will have her and cater to her 24/7 because they love high maintenance chicks because they only understand the life of being a doormat. Those types of guys are cancer, I've seen them in action. They will watch their wife abuse their own kid and they stand there and do nothing because they were programmed to never make momma mad. Thank God you ain't gonna turn out to be that type of parasite

>>34413861
Everyone wants to fuck each other. This concept of “purely platonic friendship” is a childish delusion. We are mammals with uncontrollable sex hormones. What you CAN control is your behavior. Being in a relationship comes with a level of trust, that includes trusting them enough to control their behavior around the opposite sex.
If you can’t trust your partner you shouldn’t be with them! If OP wants to make her relationship work she needs to convince the boyfriend to address the trust issues.

>>344139456
The fact that you can’t engage with me without stooping to a bunch of insults shows that you’re an abusive person yourself.

It's because I don't respect you. You don't know what abusive is. If we want to play armchair psychology, try this on for size: You're a heckin' narcissist. You are a narcissist because narcissists villainize anyone who refuses to cater to their sensibilities. They expect respect to be given at all times without merit. You demand respect and now you villainize me and try to psychoanalyze me because I did not speak in a way you found convenient. Wow what a narcissist you are.

>Go talk to a counselor or a psychiatrist and tell them “there is no such thing as emotional abuse” and watch them laugh in your face.
Apparently I am an abusive person who just a used you with my words. How about you go lay the shrink $100 an hour to help you feel better about it?

>To the poor OP
You don't actually care. You, being the checking narcissist that you are, are performing "virtue signalling". Where you use other people as a tool or stepping stone to prop yourself up. If you wanna talk psychology, take a look:

>"Signaling virtuous victimhood as indicators of Dark Triad personalities"
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32614222/
The psychology is already up to snuff. They already know that "nice guy" is the dark triad fraudster who pretends to be nice but is actually a scumfuck.

>>34413956
You can also contol others, not just yourself. Don't be so weak minded.

>>34413981
Go ahead and continue insulting me it just shows you have no argument.

>>34414005
Not him but the "you were mean to me so you have no argument" thing is a logical fallacy based on an emotional reaction, someone can be right while also being mean to you or wording things poorly

>>34414005
There's nothing to argue, you don't even have your point in order. You don't even understand "emotional abuse". You think feeling a negative emotion is tantamount to abuse. You think OP expressing said negative emotion is emotional abuse. You don't understand a thing, you don't even read the OP, the "poor OP" who you pretend to give a shit about. What a bleeding caring heart you have, you cared so much you conveniently skimmed this part of her post:
>>34409350
>If he were here I would take him with us as well.
>I would say we have a serious relationship. I have thought about us marrying and moving in together after we finish out studies. I don't see it as a casual relationship.

What you gonna say to that? You think this is something ab "emotionally abused" girl thinks and says about her boyfriend? Or is this the part where you do your white-knight snake simp gaslighting and you tell her she is brainwashed and manipulated? Because after all, you know best.

>>34414026
Sure anon but what is his argument? He just has a big post full of insults.
>>34414038
>“You don’t even understand emotional abuse”
What is there to understand? You said it’s not real?
>”You think this is something ab "emotionally abused" girl thinks and says about her boyfriend?”
This concept of you analyzing her response to identify if she’s abused or not is absurd. You can be in a very abusive situation with someone you love very much. There are abusive aspects in every relationship. It’s not like an On Off switch where oh this girls abused so she better act like a kicked puppy.
It’s important to identify abusive patterns in your relationship early and talk about them. Which is what OP is trying to do. Your partner trying to tell you who you can see is absolutely abusive, that doesn’t mean she’s getting smacked anon! It means it’s a harmful pattern that may cause issues in their relationship, and it’s being directed toward her by him.
It seems like you anon need to do some soul searching on why the word “abuse” is so scary to you. It’s something we can all do and it’s easy to do by mistake.

>>34414005
>Go ahead and continue insulting me
Ok, you're a masochist bitch and need to be abused more

>>34414156
>What is there to understand? You said it’s not real?
Good question. You tell me what is there to understand? I can tell you this seeing as you pandered to psychology. There is something called "Psychological abuse". And there's no point getting into that because neither OP or her boyfriend are in the throes of that. Here is what retards do, and I will be charitable and refer to retards as the public, and not you. Retards aka laymen aka average Joe, they think psychological abuse is emotional. When that happened, we got 'pop-psychology' nonsense. Pseudo-psychology, peddled by therapists and bloggers. (In many countries you don't need to hold a degree in psychology to be a therapist). And so we have this new bullshit term called "Emotional abuse". And it's because people, who on average, are intellectually lazy, don't bother to understand the source phenomena of psychological abuse. They assume having negative feelings towards someone they think it's the same. It's not, at all. And the layman idiot believes it is only because of toxic positivity culture. The belief that if you don't have anything 'nice' to say, don't say it at all. So if you feel angry towards someone and you tell them off, now you're an "emotional abuser". That isn't how psychology handles that, and you'd know that if you bothered to understand the thing you tried to cite as rosary to save face.

>Your partner trying to tell you who you can see is absolutely abusive
If you want to go see a drug dealer and I am your daddy and I forbade you from seeing them even if you profess he's just a bud from school, am I an abusive father? If you have a wife and she insists to go chat with the local psycho, you tell her not to, you an abusive husband?

Get a grip and let go of nonsense. OP's boyfriend is wanting her to stop seeing the guy who asked her out on study dates, alone, 1 on 1, despite knowing she has a boyfriend. The scrotum crossed a social boundary and OP's BF reacts accordingly.

>>34414156
>It seems like you anon need to do some soul searching
There you go with the gay narcissistic pageantry, you just can't help yourself, you can't help but presume to know the depths of people you don't even know. Because you are full of shit and you think your shit smells really, really good. And I call you narcissistic on purpose because I want to show you how dumb you are for playing armchair psychologist online. Anyone can play the game. Does that feel good to you?

Also you have a very dangerous opinion.
>It’s something we can all do and it’s easy to do by mistake.

No, you spooky bastard. Abuse can never be done by "mistake". That's not how abuse works. Abuse is done consciously, at all times. Unless that person has a personality disorder. Funny story, there was once a person I knew who got diagnosed with one. Know how that happened? Big argument with his woman, he was abusive. Be said "But I didn't mean to abuse you this time." And that said everything. He got told "I never have ever once heard a single human being say such an ugly thing. 'i didn't mean to abuse you this time.' go and get fucking checked".

Because that is an abnormal thing to say. "I didn't mean to abuse you, this time." It slipped his mask. His mask came off, he indirectly admitted there's times he abused on purpose, but 'this time' he didn't mean it. Do you see? Even from an abuser's own mouth they admit it's done on purpose. That's what abuser's are and what they do. They conciously do it on purpose, they know it is abusive. They don't care that it is.

So no you cant abuse someone by "mistake". That's something either an abuser says, or, someone who got abused and plays apologist for their abusers.

>>34414281
>If you want to go see a drug dealer and I am your daddy and I forbade you from seeing them even if you profess he's just a bud from school, am I an abusive father? If you have a wife and she insists to go chat with the local psycho, you tell her not to, you an abusive husband?
Your partner is not your parent. If you explain to your wife that the local psycho is dangerous and she decides to go, that’s her decision. The healthy and frankly manly thing to do is go with her and protect her. Then if she says she wants to do it alone, that’s a whole new conversation.

Your argument regarding emotional abuse is completely arbitrary, totally splitting hairs, and frankly I think you’ve moved the goalpost entirely after saying it doesn’t exist. Emotions are a psychological phenomenon. Then there are forms of psychological abuse that don’t play on emotions. So you’re saying “emotional abuse doesn’t exist, that’s just psychological abuse” when it’s easy to see a difference between the two and how the terms might be useful descriptors. I would say that emotional abuse is a form of psychological abuse.

>>34414307
>you can’t abuse by mistake
Look up internalized behavior. Let me stoop to your level and say that you are ignorant on this subject! Again it’s clear you only come here to be rude to vulnerable people. You’re far more interested in being right than giving OP helpful advice. Which is kinda the point of the board anon!

>>34414316
>Your partner is not your parent. If you explain to your wife that the local psycho is dangerous and she decides to go, that’s her decision
Okay so just let your wife get killed, let your kids do it too. And yes partner is not your parent but that wasn't the point of the comparison. And either you missed the point on purpose or you really are dense. The point is when you care about someone, and that someone is putting themselves in a position that can negatively impact either:
-Themselves
-You
-The relationship you have with them
The correct response is to get emotional and say something. That's just called being a fucking human. And if you want to call someone an emotional abuser for that then you're delusional.

>The healthy and frankly manly thing to do is go with her and protect her
You are an idiot. And as I said earlier to someone else, the doormat the guy who fawns after high maintenance women, no self respect. Listen to yourself you moron you just said you would let a woman you care about put herself in danger and you would follow her into that danger and rather than challenge the woman to get her to see reason, you would try (and let's be honest, FAIL) to 'protect' her. From a problem she created herself. You'd get stabbed or shot, she'd get violated over your corpse. For what? To prove you're a macho man? Get a grip.

>Again it’s clear you only come here to be rude to vulnerable people
Are you vulnerable? I've only been rude to you. To OP I was one of the few to tell her I believe her and I don't think she is a whore or a bad person, yet I told her that she made a fuck up and to make her choice.

The fuck are you even trying to debate?

>>34413956
You're a moron. kys

>>34414337
>Okay so just let your wife get killed, let your kids do it too.
Now there’s made up kids too? You can’t keep your story straight.
Guess what anon, helping your partner get over problems they create for themselves is the entire point of a relationship. Welcome to life. If you’re so afraid of danger then stay home alone.
You’ve been giving op shitty advice by acting like it’s reasonable for her boyfriend to control who she sees. He’s being unreasonable and so are you, because you’re projecting your own issues onto the situation.

>>34414354
>Guess what anon, helping your partner get over problems they create for themselves is the entire point of a relationship

You sad fool. I want you to screenshot what you wrote, print it out in paper, frame it, and hang it above your bed. Sleep under your own retardation. Look back at it years from now and embarrass yourself. That was the most doormat, parentized, simp, servile thing I have ever read in my entire time on this board. And you have the gall to tell others to do "soul searching". You? The guy who just admits it's perfectly healthy to be responsible for the problems of another adult is the "entire point" of a relationship?
I bet you can't even see how fucked up that was to say.

>You’ve been giving op shitty advice by acting like it’s reasonable for her boyfriend to control who she sees.
If you weren't so short-sighted you'd understand he doesn't control her. Why else do you think she gets to see the study buddy anyway? That ever cross your mind? She is so controlled she hangs up the phone on him. She is so controlled she makes threads about him, she is so controlled she talks about him to people he has never met. She is so controlled that after her thread, this time tomorrow, she'll be in a quiet cozy space alone with another man.

She is not controlled. That much is fucking obvious, and for some reason you think the boyfriend controls her? Have you been dropped on the head as a baby by any chance?

>>34414380
>she’s not controlled because she hangs up on him
Another completely arbitrary standard.
The boyfriend is attempting to control her in this situation anon. That doesn’t mean she’s under a state of total control. You did this earlier with abuse too. These things are not black/white on-off switches.

>>34414409
>Arbitrary
No what that's called, is an inconvenient point that you don't want to address because it sinks your gay little narrative into the depths.

>The boyfriend is attempting to control her in this situation
He's telling her to practice self control. To refrain from a behaviour because that behaviour is making the relationship no longer secure. A point which you will say he is insecure. And hey, maybe he is. But the thing about insecurity is it occurs when someone is in a position that is not secure. And we all know what that position is, it's the position of being in a long distance gig, with a girl you once were physically with, and no longer are you physically together, and so she decides it's a good idea to have quality alone time with another man 1 on 1 who asks her out for study dates.

The boyfriend is attempting to control the situation, because she apparently doesn't know the situation. She admits she doesn't and asks everyone ITT what the play is. She even admitted she had no idea the guy was making a move when anyone with two brain cells knows that he made a move. The boyfriend is more patient than most men I know. Anyone else would have dumped her for that, instantly. Because it's a big massive signal that says "We are drifting apart and it is over". She took the other guy up on his offer for study dates and she does it repeatedly.

You would let your girl do that? I think you would too. You said after all, the point of relationships is to be responsible for the problems the other adult makes. Do you know what you sound like? You sound like someone who dated a borderline trainwreck girl and you've lost your testicles.

>>34408803
This.

>but it's nothing!!
Enjoy breaking up

>>34414432
>He's telling her to practice self control.
Meanwhile 2nd sentence of the OP:
>He wants me to completely stop hanging out with all my male friends.
You’re talking directly out of your asshole dude.

>>34414441
>>He wants me to completely stop hanging out with all my male friends.
NTA but that is completely reasonable. Both my wife and I do this and we've been married faithfully over 10 years. This was basically the norm all throughout history and don't give me bullcrap that being alone with the opposite sex is nothing.

>>34414445
That’s not reasonable, it’s super weird and unhealthy. It’s very normal to have friends of the opposite gender. Coed living has been very normal for a very long time. Rome had coed public bathing.

>>34414441
>He wants me to completely stop hanging out with all my male friends.
Because she has no clue what boundaries are or what social tact even is. She proved that the minute she demonstrated to her own boyfriend that she is unable to identify when she is being asked out indirectly.

Thats why I think the boyfriend's mistake is he didn't dump her. You cannot and should not have to take a grown woman back to fucking emotional school to teach her P's and Q's. That's something parents do. But hey maybe you love that sort of challenge, you feel responsible for the problems other people cause right? Ironically considering you told me off for comparing parents to partners. You openly would parent a partner, you think that's the entire "point" of a relationship.

If she can't identify which male wants to fuck her and which male is just an acquaintance, then if she wants to keep the relationship, it's in her best interest to stay away from penises for a while. But even at that, her boyfriend will be constantly on edge wherever the fuck he lives as she goes about by herself at long distance.

She has no idea the stunt she pulled (or accidentally pulled by not knowing this social shit) has kneecapped her entire relationship. Because it's now long distance, universities apart. The only way this is savable is they stop being physically distant. Will that happen? Who knows. Maybe OP will share in the next episode.

But you? Give what I said some thought. You think it's OK to be responsible for problems of other adults. What about exhausting and tiring way to live. You must be oh so very tired

>>34414450
So you'd be okay if I called your girlfriend up and took her for a ride around town? Thanks bro, I agree, a real man's not afraid to share his girlfriend, be proud. Her body her choice.

>>34414450
>It's super weird and unhealthy
You don't get to speak on healthy dynamics anymore. Not after admitting you think it'd be good to let your wife speak to psychopaths and follow her around like her dog on a leash, responsible for problems other adults create.

>>34414457
You just moved the goalpost again. I clearly prove you wrong, and you just spit out some more shit. Sorry anon that’s the last one. If you can’t say “oh yeah I was wrong her boyfriend doesn’t just want boundaries” about something as simple as this what are you even doing? You’re being so intellectually dishonest I don’t even know why you’re bothering to type.
I don’t appreciate you spamming the thread with your incel rage and I’m sure OP doesn’t either. Thank you!

>>34414468
>I don’t appreciate you spamming the thread with your incel rage and I’m sure OP doesn’t either. Thank you!

Not your thread, not your website, and you can't speak on behalf of OP. You trying to be responsible for her? Trynna take on her problems on her behalf, white knight? You're the kind of guy who would simp to fuck her ain't ya? That why you don't like it when other men have the balls to tell their woman to avoid guys like you? You don't like it when men gatekeep pussy away from you, the nice guy?

>>34414468
NTA, but the other guy seems much more reasonable than you

>>34414354
>Guess what anon, helping your partner get over problems they create for themselves is the entire point of a relationship.
>>34414316
>Your partner is not your parent.
Lel

At this point I can only assume this is OP (a man) baiting for replies

>>34414450
unless the opposite gender friends are family friends, they will slowly disappear as people settle down into relationships. eventually a person's only opposite gender friend of this from is who they are in a relationship with.

>>34408794
Your attention should all be on your man.
Not your "friends" who are males.
In your mind you see these guys as geniune friends. But in all those guys minds, they see you as a potential fuck. Its the REAL reason they pretend to be your friend. Thats just FACT. No if ans or butts. Ita evolution. So your bf is right. Its not insecurity or being controlling. Its nature. He knows what those guys want. They are a threat because we know how we think.
I say drop all those orbitors

>>34408851
You only say that because it has happened. Once it does you will feel how he feels

>>34408880
/THREAD

>>34409057
>she said i was right

Now go as ask your dad

boi n grul kant b freds

>>34408794
stupid fucking slut cunt

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59 KB JPG

>>34408794
This is what your BF sees now everytime he sees your face.
Hope youre proud of yourself

>>34412056
I'm glad it all worked out for you. It makes me happy to read
It is very important to have standards on women. Especially this kind of behaviour

I even seen this with my older sister many many times which shown me and prepared me. She'd monkey branch and I could see her using the men she dated, and even deliberately making fools of them and laughing about it. She's grown out of that now and is 30 and getting married and has a baby. She realised that if she continued on the way she was behaving, she would be "left on the shelf". Many women don't in time

Don't waste your time on these women. The chances are, it won't be you, if even there is going to be someone they eventually "settle" for. If they don't respect you and scoff at your concerns and don't feel the need to make you happy, find another woman. A relationship is a two way street

>>34415290
>It is very important to have standards on women. Especially this kind of behaviour
Amen. I said it before but I'll say it again, I still don't think OP is that kind of chick. From everything she wrote I doubt she even scoffed at his concerns, probably just stubbornly kept "not seeing the problem" genuinely because she can't see it. Well meaning but naive, but doesn't like being told what to do unless it's explained to her step by step. Many such girls like that out there, usually girls who had parents who were overbearing as shit yet somehow refused to teach them anything important. OP can turn this shit around and enjoy the relationship if she simply trusts her boyfriend even if she disagrees with her boyfriend, put trust in the fact he sees something she doesn't. There's probably been loads of times that he has been stubborn and she could see something he does not either. That's just relationships, partners help the other mature by pointing out shit and both of them learn together aka grow together. Idiots take offense at this and they blow it up and wonder why they remain at home alone or on a carousel of fuck buddies who will fuck them but give zero fucks about them on a deep level.
If OP understood how this worked more she'd understand her boyfriend is extremely head over heels for her. She has him wrapped around her tiny pinky and doesn't know it, he feels anger because men's way of grieving is not crying, it's anger. He is angered because he feels he is going to lose the person he cares about the most. If OP saw clearly she should feel immensely moved and desired for that. There's psychotic loser women who want that so bad from a guy they will deliberately make partners jealous just to get a tiny lick from the guy that OP's boyfriend gives to her. I can think of at least 10 women I know of personally who would knock on OP's boyfriends door and gladly steal that attention from her. And the girls would be "nice" about it and OP wouldn't second guess

OP here. I've been thinking about what you guys have been telling me in this thread. I will have some time to think more because I won't be seeing the guy at all this week since he's not in the city. Reading the replies put some thoughts in my head and last night I couldn't sleep when I entertained the idea that you could be right about the guy. If he wants to "fuck" me as you say it that would make me really sad. I'm going to think what to do about all of this again.
Thanks to everyone who replied, especially the person who explained everything to me in detail and believed me I didn't have any bad intentions.

>>34408917
Post nut clarity helps him focus better

>>34415736
You're very welcome, OP. And I knew you would start to come around and think it through, I am pleased but also not surprised you listen to reason, because I could tell you're not some dumb loose girl with zero principles or values. I'm not a genius, I still learn too, but I am old enough and having been a young guy in my past life, I have lived enough to know who is who on this particular song and dance of socializing. I don't know anything else about you but on this one dilemma it's easy to tell you don't intend to do wrong by your boyfriend because it's in the way you describe the situation and the how you react to it in your words, your charitable description of everyone, the study buddy, your roomie, your boyfriend. You are the type of girl who chooses to try and see the best in everyone. That makes you a kind person. But unfortunately we live in a world where people see kindness and they look at it and they see "This is a free fuck." And they take their shot. And they don't make it obvious, if they did that, they're not gonna get a free fuck. They know bit to be obvious, they hide under fake nice shit to get what they want and then they bail. They don't care if you are disgraced at the end and you lost a relationship, their bottom line was they wanted to feel fuckable, and they wanted an orgasm.

If you're the shy and quiet and introverted type of chick you're the one they go for. Because they know you're the least likely to so no and the least likely to assume bad intent.

This would be somewhat harmless if you were single. Some guys who do this strat, they do it and end up falling in love with their target and they change for the better But the one who targets the taken girl? It's only about your vagina. That's all.

Another anon said it before: watch out when it comes to that study buddy & alcohol. One of his moves will eventually be to get you drunk. Especially if he detects you are unwilling to budge from your personal value of commitment.

>>34415632
>parents who were overbearing as shit yet somehow refused to teach them anything important.
"Because I said so" is one of the most cancerous phrases of all time and I'm glad usage of it has started being phased out in parenting.

>>34415891
Yep lol.
"Because I said so"
Teaches the kid they should never make their own minds up. Never have boundaries, outsource thinking to someone else.

"If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all"
Teaches the kids to be a people-pleaser. Never show your negativity, or bad feelings, keep it bottled and rot inside.

"This is MY home. You don't get to (act/speak/behave) like that in MY house"
Teaches the kids their home is not their home. They are under the roof, but they are emotionally homeless. And a burden, to be tolerated and not welcomed, even by their own family.

"I brought you into this world, I could take you out of it."
Teaches the kids they're existence is not only a burden, but a debt. And what's more the person who called them a debt regrets it.

There's so many fucked up things this generation and the ones before got dealt to them.

>>34415898
Most of those are said because their parents said it. Its not with malcicous intent

Yall are bunch of controlling agressive neanderrhalls. She has a right to have male friends without her bf being a control freak!
My gf has male friends! In fact she even went on a trip/vacation with 3 of her friends from her school. I was mad at first because she didnt answer me for 1 week stright. But all was well when she came back safely at airport n said she had a good time

>>34416449
kek, had me in the first half

>>34416433
Yeah wtf
"Omg my mom said I brought you into this world I can take you out she literally wants to kill me whaaaaaaaa I'm such a victim please subscribe to my onlyfans"
This is why I dont take many zoomers seriously.

>>34415736
I have male friends because I have male-oriented hobbies and being bullied by girls for my autism. So what I'm getting from the responses in this thread is that I should not date men at all if I don't want to lose 90% of my friends. Will keep in mind.

>>34409053
Writing popular guy fanfiction on 4chan is next level cringe

>>34409794
>You should be in fear of getting decked like tbe cupboard when misstepping in a relationship with a real man.
These are the type of men calling OP a whore for having male friends, literal abusers, so glad I'm celibate.