I was living a horribly depressed, self-loathing life unemployed living off of the good will of relatives as I fought every single day for work.It was like this for an entire year and a half. I was ashamed to even be alive.I finally found work half a year ago, I do my best full-time to keep it that way, but so much of who I am and my beliefs have been sold out and pissed upon to get here that I am starting to find myself more ashamed to be alive than I ever was unemployed. I don't earn anywhere near enough to live alone but I'm earning more than I expected.The product our company develops for pure evil by pure evil. The product is a tool of the surveillance state designed to squash the average joe like a bug at the first sign of dissent, make them scared to exist as a private citizen. Those who lead the product think little of humanity in general, brushing off any moral consequences of their creation because they are getting mildly rich off of such suffering. The leaders treat anyone who isn't as baseless as they are as an idiot in the way of progress, I have to keep my mouth shut because they talk to me like some bratty kid. My entire work day is everyone around me clapping like trained seals because Claude Code speaks to them like Darth Vader or some shit, helping them implement new ways to take their fellow men and fuck them up the ass. Every time I see humanity in my colleagues, they bring up their eugenic beliefs or their university's world ranking like i give a damn.I just don't know how to wrestle with it. I'm selling off a majority of my waking hours to an evil cause lead by evil people who disgust me, and I'm no better. I took this job out of desperation yet still here I remain, I have no leverage to speak out about this. I got into this game as a child because I love it and have passion, now that passion is beyond dead and I've been trying to find solace outside of technology to reconcile my soul.
>>34409883leak it all, become the face of "muh freedom" and "muh integrity", get paid a bazillion dollars to do speaking tours.Clean conscience and fat stacks; best of both worlds.
>>34409883Your coworkers sound based.
Look for a different job if you actually feel guilty and aren’t just aware that you should be guilty.
>>34409883sabotage the company, anon
alternatively, try to find ways to HELP people with technology, and try to make a living off of itit might be very difficult, but it could be extremely fulfilling, and you could honor your childhood self
>>34409883It sounds like a pretty serious business. You should be able to stay there a while then use that experience to find another job in a different industry or company. Young people like you have this impression that you have to stick with one company for the rest of your life, which isn’t true.
>>34409883If it's eating you away, I don't think it is worth it to remain there for too long. You can try to find another job somewhere else, one that won't make you feel so miserable and disgusted at yourself.Maybe you can work autonomously, if your skill set allows you to.
>>34409883Doesn't sound worth it, anon. Look how much therapists charge per hour. You'll need their services if you stay in that job. I'd consider documenting, as best you can, the nastiness in your company. Wait a few months after quitting (so they can't figure out it was you) and then anonymously leak as much as possible. Activists and white hats will know what to do with that information. Maybe try contacting Louis Rossman from a burner account.
Read about the world. Read about China.They maintain social cohesion via practices that most Westerners would consider authoritarian and evil. And they have a lower murder rate and incarceration rate than the US. Not being able to "dissent" against your country (sew social chaos and disarray) has some advantages.The United States has the highest population of prisoners in the entire world in part because citizens feel justified to commit crimes against a system that they feel deserves to be robbed.Lacking Western style free speech is a lesser infraction on human freedom than having 0.75% of your population incarcerated (USA). The company you work for is fighting the good fight.Also research the Democrat/Republican divide in the United States: It goes all the way back to the very beginning of the country. 250 years of a country's population being split right down the middle. Pointless chaos. Democracy is a play which serves to annihilate social harmony. Finally, look into the psychology of crime. The severity of punishment is less of a deterrent than the criminal's subjective assessment of how likely they feel they will be caught. This is why the same individuals who commit sexual assault will not shoplift to save a couple dollars. CCTV cameras are good. The average American woman does not feel safe to walk outside at night. This is not the case for high surveillance countries.
>>34410805This.OP, take this as a chance to blend in and leak or sabotage the company. Record what you can and make it known online. Get the Intel to ruin its reputation, all while making money by "working" there and pretending you love your job. Whatever new tech they're working on, leak it to the community to ruin it from within
>>34411403 (me again)>Also research the Democrat/Republican divide in the United States: It goes all the way back to the very beginning of the country. 250 years of a country's population being split right down the middle. Pointless chaos. Democracy is a play which serves to annihilate social harmony.To add to this: Not every Chinese person "drinks the kool-aid". Many are quite critical of their government. This is a better alternative than having an abstract ideological class representing the entire other half of your own country that you are convinced is the devil incarnate (to be a bit hyperbolic). Basically, the government serves as a scapegoat and boogeyman, and allows Chinese people to direct their frustration there, instead of onto other citizens. This way, a sense of social harmony can remain in-tact even within individuals which large grievances about their country. Americans with grievances scapegoat half the country a roam around in a doomsday state as a result. Imagine thinking that one hundred million or more of your own constituants are batshit insane.I met a woman who thought she would be kidnapped by ICE because she's asian and was visiting a majority white population center. She was born and raised here.Homogeneity is good.
eugenics are good, imagine a world where all genetic illnesses have been pruned away and don't exist anymore if not in extremely rare casesno more autism, down syndrome, diabetes type 1, lethal food allergies!
