I am rotting and can only motivate myself if there is a girl in my life I'm building a relationship with, and see a future with.In that case, I can lose weight, be disciplined, study, take better care of myself, etc and go really hard on everything. I want to be a good bf for her, fulfill my role as a man, driven by wanting to build a future together, because now it seems worthwhile.But in its absence, I am totally unmotivated and don't get anything done whatsoever. all facets of life suffer, basically being a total neet, unhygienic, living like shit, ...How do I hijack the former without having a (prospective) gf? I mean I should just not be a retard and realize that whatever efforts I put into my life now will be there when I'm dating someone again. but somehow I just can't trick myself to do that.I realize this is an utterly retarded problem, and I shouldn't need a girl to have the motivation to meet my needs and make something of my life. that's hopefully what we'll have set in motion before this thread is archived.
>>34415153you can't fix thishumans are naturally socially dependent beingsliving alone is a curseget roomates, get dates that will potentially come over, invite friends to your placesimply having a social anchor is what motivates you, then create more social anchors
Same OP. All we can do is hope for next gf or at least, understand we must perform some basic self-improvement functions in order to secure gf
>>34415347good analysis I guess, I am basically totally socially isolated IRL most of the time. not really fond of socializing much, but it has its drawbacks I suppose. I would find it rather draining to live with roommates, perhaps it's the autism or something.so essentially, there are no such anchors other than immediate family.>>34415448it works when it's there, but it's a pretty shaky foundation as I'm sure you know. I suppose yeah, motivating myself to do some of the bare minimum with a gf as the goal is easier to do.I mean it's also just really wasted time to be rotting in the meantime.Rationally, you KNOW there'll be another gf and you also know that you'll have all the motivation in the world when she's there. So you might as well be already preparing for it. Am I just a retard that can't visualize future events? lmao
>>34415153>I realize this is an utterly retarded problemOf course not, humblebrag brainiac.>realize that whatever efforts I put into my life now will be there when I'm dating someone again. but somehow I just can't trick myself to do that.Try some hobby that compensates the hardness of life. Ataining goals is hard, but you should have some plasure as well to keep working.
>>34415153you cant. the reason you feel this way is because subconsciously you desire to start a family. it may in fact be your reason to live. when you have a girlfriend you feel like youre building towards that goal. try seeing your life now as investing in yourself so you can be a better partner to your future wife. whether or not you have a partner doesnt change the fact that you still need to take care of yourself if you want to have a successful relationship in the future.
>>34415153Same. When I had the perspective of being with someone, I strived and tried, but now I often feel like it's pointless, that I have no goal at all. I feel like doing nothing. I'm not trying to throw the blame of my own lethargy on others, it's just how I feel, unfortunately.Get rich, get successful, get respected, be the best, buy stuff, go to places, eat and drink until burst... what for? What is the point?I really wish I could find motivation within myself. To have dreams and goals I really personally wanted and fought for and tried my best, but I don't, not anymore.
>>34416939>not really fond of socializing muchyou know whythat's because socializing introduces responsibility responsibility to take care of yourself, wash, be hygienic, follow social rules, etc.this is the mental roadblock stopping you at the momentwhich ironically is fixed by accepting the fact that what's good for you, requires you taking responsibilitiesresponsibilities = effort, equals work
>>34415153
>>34415153Honestly sounds like you're a porn addict or a variant of.