This is my first time using this site. Picture is slightly related, is a guy who also doesn't understand flirting.Let's start with a bit of background. We met when I was 15 and she was 17 almost 10 years ago, strictly online. We quickly became best friends, and I'm basically the guy she talks to about everything going on in her life. When some guy hits on her, I'm the guy she tells about it, for instance. I confessed my interest to her about 2 years in, she rejected me as softly as she could, and it hasn't really been spoken of since. It's something that's known, that I'm still interested in her, but neither of us have really broached the topic since. In my case it's because I don't want to run the risk of making her uncomfortable, and she has made it clear she doesn't want to ldr, so I figure if I do have a chance it's after I move, not before. Speaking of, I have plans to move to her state, the only thing that has been stopping me is my crippling poverty, but I'm gonna be moving in with another friend and the rent is cheap enough I'll be able to save. Plans are in the works for me.With that background out of the way, there have been a lot of odd things in our friendship that under normal circumstances would in my mind seem to suggest that she's interested. Most of it happened after a certain event I'll be getting to, but an example from prior to that event would be this; she had us get life360 so we could always see each other's locations, and then she stalked mine. That sounds like a bold claim right? Technically, she could still be stalking my location and keeping it to herself now, but she hasn't made it obvious she is like she used to. I know she stalked my location because on multiple occasions I would go somewhere that deviates from my schedule of being home and then going to work, and then she'd ask me what I was doing because she noticed.
I've always had to try and balance our friendship with my feelings, and that's hurt quite a lot but it's always felt like the right thing to do. At one point she was interested in a coworker but felt a lot of anxiety trying to get anything going. I encouraged her, even tho I hated it, and she ended up confessing. Coworker said she was interested, and then ended up the next night going and sleeping with a married couple. Needless to say, that never went anywhere. Then last Valentine's Day we spent almost 12 hours on a call and playing games together, talking about being a couple of lonely losers together. It was kinda funny.After that was when I started noticing some odd occurrences. That call ended with "I love you"s exchanged, which sounds like nothing but is pretty significant because she used to be embarrassed to say anything like that before and since then every call has ended that way. Then she started spending money on me. She'd buy games so that we could play them together, buy me food if I mentioned being hungry but not having money to buy food, and bought me a year of Spotify premium just so we could listen to music together while she worked. Altogether last year I stopped counting how much she spent on me at about $200, and this year she's already spent like $130. She tried to convince me to move to her state before I was ready, always coming up with another incentive when I said I couldn't do it yet. For a little while I had plans to try and use the military to fund my move basically, and try to get onto a base that was near her. I ended up abandoning that idea, but before I did she mentioned that she wanted to come see me before I shipped off to basic, and when I mentioned that I didn't have anywhere for her to sleep her response was "I don't mind sharing a bed with you. You should know I like to cuddle though."
We once talked about maybe living in the woods in a cabin together, and when I mentioned the possibility of buying a camper I could sleep in for the drive to her state and then maybe using it during camping trips, she mentioned having a dream that night where she got really angry that I wouldn't share her tent. Since then and with the move coming up she's been telling me about all the plans she has for the two of us, including walking me through a multi-day hike where we'd be sharing a tent. She also used to go for sometimes as long as months without contact when she got depressed because she was afraid of bothering me if she reached out. I managed to convince her that she couldn't bother me and that stopped (though I've noticed mutual friends sometimes asking about why she hasn't contacted them) and these days we will spend regularly upward of 8 hours on calls when we both have days off. I've also noticed I have a tendency to ramble on about things even when I can tell the other person doesn't care, I just can't stop myself. Last week I had her watch the dark knight with me for the first time (for her), and then she listened to me ramble on about the raimi trilogy for 30+ minutes, and then expressed interest in watching the movies with me. Not once did she mentally check out of the conversation while I did this, and I don't think she ever has even while a lot of my "friends" will all the time.Everyone seems convinced she's interested in me, and I'd agree that perhaps under normal circumstances these would all be signs she's interested, but she already knows how I feel about her. Why wouldn't she just tell me if she were interested? What exactly is going on here?Good god this was 3 posts.
Bro she's trying to settle down with you. That's usually not a good thing btwShe slept around in her early 20s with married couples and im willing to bet she has fucked around a ton which you haven't mentioned. She realizes her value is now low and she wont get a high value dude. She knows you're interested and I'm willing to bet you'll take care of her. She has run out of options for actual high quality dudes and she is looking at YOU to take care of her now despite being all used up.I guarantee she is interested in you. If you're okay with being the sloppy 100ths then whatever go for it. Just know that until she needed some actual commitment and when she could have been there to be your life partner, she fucked around and used you as her emotional washcloth while you probably waited around. You are getting the short end of the stick. She had her chance. You're being used. Stay away. Or don't. Ball is in your court.
I don't know how to reply directly. Like I said, first time using this sight. I think you misread. The one sleeping with the married couple was the person she was previously interested in. That was her first attempted relationship in years. In all the time I've known her, she hasn't been in a relationship, she's almost as socially awkward as I am.
>>34416069The most important thing is that you fuck her or share physicality. Otherwise you might as well be a beta orbiter.
>>34416104Gotchya.Just press the numbers next to the No.I dunno man, you're both pushing your 30s. I feel like something is missing. Again, she used you to talk about her relationships despite knowing how you feel, which is disrespectful and anyone with a frontal lobe knows it. Something doesn't feel right about this.
>>34416114OH. I feel like a caveman with fire now that I have this ability.Hey now, I'm only going to be 25, I'm not that old. She's kinda pushing 30 tho lol. To be fair to her, she told me about someone she was crushing on, and I told her that if she really wants it she should go for it. My philosophy has always been that I should prioritize her needs and our friendship over what I want. It just so happened that it ended up working out well for me in the end because the woman she was interested in (she's bi) ended up sleeping with a married couple after expressing interest and before the two of them even got into anything.
>>34416106Well, once I move to her state we'll see how it goes right? I'm hoping that she's interested, but I'm trying to temper expectations too.
>>34416128Welcome. You have ascended to GODHOOD.So without the doom and gloom yes she's interested.
>>34416133I just realized you've never even met her in person. Bro, be prepared for any outcome because it's very possible that everything you've built up in your head will vanish.
>>34416069>Why wouldn't she just tell me if she were interested?My two cents OP is that women like men to make the first move. It's why they usually give us hints they like us rather than ask us out directly. You were already shot-down once, so I understand your hesitation here. Maybe try whatever the opposite of confirmation bias is. You just gave a massive list of pretty obvious signs she likes you, but try to think of different incidents that might indicate otherwise. Though the tent dream and the thing about cuddling are really what make me think you have a chance. But I'm not exactly experienced with women, and sometimes they just give you a lot of affection despite only viewing you as a friend. I don't know. I'd say go for it.
>>34416155It's why I didn't let her rush me into the move when she was trying. When I move to her state I want to be completely independent so if things go wrong I'm not just screwed or something, I can just move on and I'm not like homeless.
>>34416094That's not how sex works
>>34416069>I confessed my interest to her about 2 years in, she rejected me as softly as she could, and it hasn't really been spoken of sinceawesome move on retard
>>34416069I am actually going to say the problem is her being older than you. You have less power than her, less confidence. This ome time i texted and talked to this girl that's older than me, i was like this too. Very weak.You need to talk to some that are younger than you. Confidence should increase naturally. You can talk down to them.
Pathetic. Astoundingly so. I suppose even dumb simps have their place in this world.
>>34416069It seems like you're her strategic backup option.It's like she's spraying you with flirtation, like a cactus with water, consistently, but in small doses, just in case she fails to find anyone closer.This doesn't mean she can't make a good wife for you in the future, but I would be very careful about a person who can lead people on like that.She is indeed interested and flirts with you, but how much of it comes from love and how much from calculation, that is the question.Eventually, you'll need to cut the crap and talk to her directly about her endgame with you.Also, you were never just friends.https://youtu.be/T_lh5fR4DMA
