>>34416655
start brutally raping ur grandmother

File: Screenshot_2026-04-08-20-(...).jpg (506 KB, 982x1122)

506 KB JPG

>>34416655
I know this suggestion might sound like a complete and total slap in your face, but hear me out. Forgive your parents, OP. Forgive your mother and your father. I know it may feel impossible or unthinkable or stupid, since you just spelled out the basic fact that they show no mercy to you, or understanding, or encouragement, or support, or validation, or much love to you. Forgive them for that anyway. If you can't do that it's fine. Forgiveness is a choice and if you don't choose to forgive, it doesn't make you a bad person. If you choose to forgive, it doesn't make you good. It's something beyond good or bad, forgiveness is about letting go.

I suggest forgiveness because I suggest letting go. Not of your life or your ambition or whatever tiny embers of exhausted life you got left, not that. But letting go of the dynamic which suffocated you. Which is the dynamic with your parents. Let go of it, bro. Forgive the people behind the dynamic, and let go of the dynamic. Because you already know it has crippled you. And if you wish to walk again, you need to get out from under that metaphorical boulder that is your family life.

And then find your own life, whatever that may be. I don't necessarily tell you to leave home. You could if you wanted to. But when I say your own life I mean mentally, emotionally, I'd even say spiritually. That can be done in any location, it's about perspective. And then action. It's both. You won't know what life is supposed to be, and you're not supposed to know. But what you can know now, today, is unless you forgive and let go, you won't get out from under the mental block to go and find out. This is something that won't happen overnight so give yourself time and patience. Forgive even yourself for anything you grudge yourself for.

Also here, for you, New vegas fan:
https://youtu.be/uZwzbA91Yno?si=7GnYa3l56UdS6b9c

God be with you.

>>34416855
Thank you for taking the time to read my post and write such a lenghty reply. How am I to go about letting go, fren? I feel as if I’ve tried everything but actually but achieveing financial freedom. I went away for college and it didn’t help one bit. It only allowed my father to mentally rape me instead of just being abswnt (my mistake for making the deal with him). And my mother… she truly wishes me gone. I’ve never seen such evil irl. I’ve accepted I’ve no father long ago and I know my mother is mother to me only by having birthed me. So what shall I do?

>>34416655
>I wanted to get an education and a job
Is there a reason you still can't do that? Maybe you can talk to her about it and apply to schools and jobs anyway. If you do have transportation, maybe you can do online schooling.

>>34416929
>Thank you for taking the time to read my post and write such a lenghty reply
You're welcome brother

>How am I to go about letting go, fren? I feel as if I’ve tried everything but actually but achieveing financial freedom.
I believe you, that you have tried everything. I believe you that when you say you still cannot let go even though you have tried harder than most people are willing to see, I also believe you tried even when trying to get up out of bed in the morning took courage it was that exhausting. That's not even mentioning being haunted by the ghosts of your past before sleeping either. The reason for why we may struggle to let go, despite trying everything and anything, is because we forget: Letting go is not about trying to do something, it is not a out trying to acquire something, or achieve something, or find something, or improve something, it is not an act of doing something. It is letting go of something. It does not require everything, it paradoxically requires nothing.

Imagine a box full of weighty objects, cluttered, messy, heavy. And you want to let go of weight, particularly a specific weight at the bottom of that box.

Should we add to it's contents? Place another expectation in it? Another responsibility? Another burden? Another urgent demand to ourselves to justify our own existence to ourselves? Would that increase the weight or decrease it? Would that be "letting go"?

Of course you know the answer, it is 'no'. Its the opposite of letting go. Letting go is about reaching into that box, and emptying some of its contents, and no longer giving thought to it, or energy to it, doing precisely nothing with it. The box becomes lighter, that box is your life.

That is why going to college did not help. It was never going to help, not because of (you). That is why you can forgive yourself, there is logic to self forgiveness once you understand this. You simply looked in the wrong place. That's all.

>>34416827
stop reading old people getting raped hentai. otherwise I will start reading them just so i can send them to you.

>>34416964
I’m currently studying (wasting away doing nothing) at an institution that could net me quite a career. Sadly I’ll soon be booted out. I can’t even get my sleep in order, man. I’m khhv, no frens. The only thing I have going for myself is being pretty fit. I don’t want to work a 9-5, I used to want to make an impact, then I wanted ro have a family and a good relationship with my mom at least and now I juat want to play vidya, lift and sleep.

>>34416655
they dont care about you because they dont care about themselves. the way they treat people is a reflection of who they are as people. it is what it is. im in the same situation as you. i only became a normal person AFTER i cut my family out of my life. it sucks knowing i have no support network but they were literally dragging me down.

basically stop caring about them and do what yu want. and i mean what you REALLY want. there mustve been something you really wanted to achieve as a kid that you can achieve now as an adult with money

>>34416978
How could I forgive myself for having thrown my life away? Or even cope with knowing the life I wanted was never one I could attain?

That is what I am doing now, probably. Retvrn to vidya and /toy/. But this is nothing to be happy about. It means defeat. And if it really is the rest of my life (which has not become entirely apparent yet), what kind of man would I be to accept it?

Not that I’d even be able to enjoy it and so numb my pain since I’ll be thrown out or forced to labour fruitlessly until my back breaks.

>>34416655
get a job retard

>>34416994
My father cares very much about his new family. Well, he’s a feeble minded but wealthy man. So it’s not like he’s taking an interest in their education or having long tlaks with them bit he at least takes them places and gives them financial security. All whilst making me watch and insulting me as if I’ve somehow wronged him. I was a fool to take his money to study. He makes me cut corners everywhere despite being very wealthy, and he’s weeks late when it comes to paying my shit specifically.

This conduct is only targeted at me by both ma and pa.

>>34416987
it sounds like ur resigned to failure, at least regarding your studies
>now I juat want to play vidya, lift and sleep.
is that so bad?
if you're happy with it, that's a good humble way to live
most of your troubles probably come with being tied to your family, but you can change that by making money and being self-reliant (doesn't have to be through a 9 to 5 nigger job, but probably would be at first)

i think if you still want to make an impact you should try to do so, you only get one life

>>34416655
Your parents likely hate you for a combination of reasons.

First, you refuse to get a job despite being capable of doing so. You are essentially coasting off their goodwill (what little they have) in order to laze about and do nothing.

Second. They are likely projecting their own inadequacies upon you. Your mom is in the same predicament and is taking out that frustration to some degree on you. Your dad likely associates you both with his failures (whether that is fair or not) and is seeking to escape.

>Should I just kill myself?
I wouldn't. Try and get a job first. Get more exercise and sunlight. Use your money on a productive hobby. Make friends. Do not waste your money on toys.

>>34416998
>How could I forgive myself for having thrown my life away?
When you can admit, in a bittersweet revelation, that it may not have been your life to begin with. I cannot answer that for you, but only bring you critical questions: The life you claim to have thrown away or risk throwing away? Was it your life? By that I mean to ask: Did you truly wish for that life, and choose that life? Or did that life get thrown onto you? Expected from you? Demanded of you? Did you choose that life for your own passion and peace, or out of fear of failing to measure up to other people? Was this life you speak of, truly born from the contents of your own heart? Or was it from the dark corners of your mind that was addled by fear or shame? It is important to ask yourself this grand question. Those who don't ask this are those who can never separate the thorns from the roses, they can never chew the meat and spit out the bone.

They entirely identify as suffering and pain and cannot separate themselves from the debris others put on them. They then feel the only way to finally separate is suicide. They want to throw away what kills them. They wrongfully presume they themselves is what is killing them, they blame themselves unfairly, and they make the final and permanent mistake. If they had just asked that critical question, they would understand there instinct to end their lives was true. But they misinterpreted the meaning: They needed to end their old way of life, their old hangups, their old dynamic. Not their actual life.

>>34417010
Don’t take offence to me not writing a new reply since this is exactly what I would have written >>34416998

>>34417020
Mom seems to want me to end my studies and have a shit life. I could move back home permanently and still study in my hometown uni but she seems to want me to toil in construction like her father did. Somehow blaming me for the fact he’s still working after retirement, which makes no logic sense at all.

>>34417023
Your words are truly insighttful, Anon. You understood my schizo-gibberish post very well somehow. Or at least I think you did.

All I ever wanted to be was someone else. Increasingly so as time went on and people from my very own milleu started to go places.

>>34417026
u sound resigned like i said
but you could still have an impact any time

i think you might be clinging to failure/helplessness because it's actually more comfortable

like i said, you should ATLEAST try to detach yourself from your family & live that way for awhile, before giving up entirely on life

>>34417053
That's because you wanted their outcomes, and you thought you had to imitate their processes. You can have their outcomes through your own processes. There is ten-thousand score pathways to wealth. And there is a hundred-thousand score ways to love and family of your own. That process must be your process, and yours alone. If you imitate processes that are not (you) shaped, you most likely do not gain the outcome. And those who force it and gain the outcome, they find themselves hollow and empty even when they have the money in their hands, and the woman in their bed. Empty and lonelier than when they had started because the cost of the outcome was their soul. They had forsaken their own process.

File: wir-werden-einander-viel-(...).jpg (35 KB, 377x599)

35 KB JPG

>>34416855

>>34417067
Not OP, but I would not use the word comfortable. Familiar is what it is. OP is not alone in falling into the net of familiarity, it happened to me. It happened to you, too, which by the way, I am happy you found your way out and into your own life, I hope all is well with you anon.

When it happened for me it was a predicament, like I'd been a bird in a cage. After that cage door opened, finally opened, do you know what I did? I stayed in the cage. It's one thing to realize the door is open, another to take the first steps. Especially when what's behind that door is unknown. That's why familiarity becomes seductive, because the unknown is the cradle of fear. But it's also the cradle of joy at the same time. There's no telling what the unknown has in store until it is known. The mind loves familiarity for this reason. Even if that familiarity stops being a safety net, and becomes a noose around our necks. The human mind will cling to it, because if it's all the mind has known, the mind will tell itself it's all that is possible. Familiarity is neither good or bad. It's good when we have become part of a healthy familiar. Bad when we have become one with a poisonous familiar. That is why the way to know which is which requires more than body and mind, it requires spirit.
Once you're out, you can never be trapped again. I believe OP will get there in time, because it always takes time.

>>34417041
>>34417041
>want me to end my studies
Okay, so you are presently going to college? Are you on hiatus or academic suspension of some sort?

Presumably she funded you going to college in the first place, right? Why would she change her mind now? What happened?

>>34417006
>This conduct is only targeted at me by both ma and pa.
And one last insight or possibility I would like to give to you for your consideration, something obvious yet easily forgotten: Parents, whether good or bad, loving or abusive, attentive or neglectful, they're not God(s). They're not superheroes, they're flesh and bone, they're just people. Like you, me, anyone ITT. And people differ and branch out in so many different ways, but there's two things we all share that no amount of differences can erase: We all have something we love, and we all have something we fear. We all want something, and we are all running from something. What you are, is you are 50% your mother and 50% your father. This is not only truly biologically, but also psychologically. You think as you think now precisely because of the way in which you had been raised, you inherited even the crushing expectation and demands they set on you. You set it on yourself, and you do that because you learned to do that from them. And they taught you that, whether conciously or unconsciously, because they do that to themselves, too. If you could push a button to glimpse into their minds, their thoughts, their private ruminations. You would be shocked to find its almost identical to your own.
That is however only 'what' you are. It does not have to make you 'who' you are. You decide that.

Once you understand your parents, you understand why they target you. It's to do with shame. Pa only sends money and not his love, because sending love means wrestling with trying to love what he may consider a failure. Not you, or his ex wife, but the marriage that broke. He may be ashamed to see you, not because you are his shame, but your face reminds him of what he had failed.

And your mother is similar, perhaps desperate to tell herself she did a good job in raising her child to success. Especially after that divorce, 200% more frantic in completing her personal mission to call herself a good mom.

>>34417186
>>34417006
>Cont
And this brings us to (you), the son of ma and pa. Frantic and ashamed, desperate to live up to expectations and ashamed for falling short. Sound familiar? Yet simultaneously wanting to be 'someone else'. What you want is individuation, to be set apart from inheriting something that you neither want or asked for. And that would be the guilt of your parents that they have intentionally or not, suffocated you with. It's not your guilt and not your atonement to make, friend. This isn't about you, but they however have tried to make it about you, and they have burdened you with pressures that did not come from places of love, but of their fears.

If you can understand this, you can find it easier to forgive. Forgiving is again, not about good or bad. It's not "I validate the pain you caused me, you did no wrong". It is "I have grown past this transgression. It no longer is a thorn in my side. I am letting it go."

Whether you choose to make a good relationship out of papa and mama is your call. What's pivotal right now is it's time to create a good one to yourself. The rest can wait another day

>>34416655
Just make ur own family and leave them out of it, don't show them unless they clean up their act

>>34417174
My father did. But he makes it very difficult. I’m currently an active student. Just not doing anything, really.

>>34417186
Anon, I am a former gifted child that realized he’s not so hot after all, but my parents never had any expectations. Dad would call for christmas even though he lived a neighbourhood over, mom let me do shatever. I had no direction or bursen of that sort whatsoever.

>>34417186
Your conclusion may indeed be one of the liklier explanations, though my father’s pathology is deserved of a case study.

File: IMG_1082.jpg (120 KB, 1800x900)

120 KB JPG

>>34417466
Phonefagging so typos.

>>34417220
I will dwell on your teachings, fren. Would you care to aid me in this endeavour by regaling me with how (You)’ve come to implement this philosophy in your life?

>>34417068
Picrel