(2/2)

>I pick her up from said party
>She is drunk
>Tells me about it
>I get sinking feeling in my chest
>She tells me she doesn't love me in a romantic way
>But considers marrying me for "pragmatism" and because I am her "best friend"
>Genuinely want to kill myself
>Tell her I don't think I can date anyone else while we live together, and I don't think I can take her doing that either
>Says she feels the same way
>Says she feels guilty when she's attracted to other people
>What the FUCK then, dude?
>Tell her to stop saying she loves me if she doesn't mean it
>She gets *really* upset about this
>I storm off
>I have been cold to her all week (short replies, avoiding, etc.) because I do not know how to handle this 10 ton weight that has landed squarely on my chest
>She is very upset by this
>She also apparently doesn't really remember the details of that conversation as she was drunk
>I feel like I have the impulse to excise her entirely from my life, but I can't do that until the lease is over
>I also think that might be a horrible mistake and some sort of knee-jerk reaction to the mess of feelings currently going on inside my head
TL;DR I have realized I still love my Ex when I tried to lie to myself saying we can be just friends, and she is sending the most mixed signals I have ever seen in my entire life. What the fuck do I do?
Am I just useful to her and she wants to keep me around?
Why the fuck is SHE feeling guilty when attracted to other people if she doesn't feel any kind of way about me?
My other friend suggested she is having difficulty differentiating between initial attraction and long-term love, but I don't even know how to begin approaching that conversation.
I love her, I have always loved her, but I feel like I have a knife hanging out of my chest with an anchor attached to it.
I don't know what to do. I can't go through another end with her.

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>>34418910
How about you stop lusting after this girl and repent for your behaviour. Everything you did was a result of your own degeneracy, and now you're crushed becuase you reap the effects.

Love is much more than lust, you have seen what it brought you and now you have to humble yourself. Simple as.

I suggest you start off by completely seperating any potential attraction you have for her as opposed to your friendship. Act as if you'll never be together again. Learn to control yourself and focus not only on this romantic love but also sacraficial love, love for friends, build an authentic human friendship with this person, and hold her to a standard that is above you, so that if either of you strays off, know that it can be fixed by looking up to this standard.

Most importantly, never let her become some sort of object of vanity again, she is a human being, someone who can be loved, someone who has emotions just as you are. If you learn to abstain from lust, you can teach her how to do it too.
Lastly, all human beings have a past, if both of you were humble enough, you'd respect that there is a potential that you choose someone else, you gain some, you lose some that's just life.

Your first mistake was not cutting her off after initializing breaking up. Your other mistake is having retard friends that let her move in, like what the fuck man. Cut her off right now and get started with grieving because holy fuck she sounds awful. You are letting her humiliate and cuckhold you as long as you are friends with her. Unless you want to be in a polygamous cuck relationship kick her ass out and move on. She is using you bro.

>>34418909
Marriages used to be pragmatic and about business. These dayd everyone is expected to do it for "love", which is cute, but not always realistic. Marry her if that benefits you financially (it probably doesn't).

>>34419173
Goyslop
>>34419265
OP will only do it if he gets some other girl that's better.

>>34418910
>TL;DR I have realized I still love my Ex
You know what you have to do, you just need to be strong enough to do it.

Alcoholics feel like alcohol is their best friend, so do smokers with cigarettes. Apparently heroin feels like love in your veins. Don't think of her as you ex, this is just an addiction that's killing you. Nothing pure exists here. You were never married, she left you and became wicked by choice, and now the devil wants to drag you to hell through her.

>>34419298
This is literally the opposite of goyslop.

Your girl should worship you and have immense respect for you. If you are her best friend your relationship will never work out

>>34423713
>This is literally the opposite of goyslop.
You are correct, in principle! I'm not that anon, but yeah. It is goyslop because it's non Jewish propaganda, so inherently goy. And it's slop because religion is also a form of slop.
But there are also arguments to be made for the colloquial version of the word - that goyslop is something rotten, unpure, uncommitted, promiscuous, whore-ish. And that by preaching Jesus you are preaching purity, thereby the opposite of goyslop.

Thank you for the interesting thought
>T. Jewish born person

>>34418909
Them niggas is yo ex fo a reason. Aint no taking back fool, you learn that in grade school

>>34423740

"Goy" is a Hebrew word which refers to nations. In the Old Testament the people of Israel were those who kept the commandments, the descendants of Abraham, and the goyim were basal and unspiritual people from the other nations. But now the people of Israel are those who were called by Christ and obey His commandments, and all are called. So from a Christian (Catholic) perspective, the distinction no longer has meaning, except for use as a pejorative.

"Goyslop" is the goy version of "pigslop", as in "slop for the trough". While I would accept your second definition, your first definition, that goyslop is anything non-Jewish, is nonsense, unless you are some kind of Jewish supremacist.

>>34423847
>your first definition, that goyslop is anything non-Jewish, is nonsense, unless you are some kind of Jewish supremacist.
Maybe you're right, I can't tell you you're wrong in whatever circles you hang out in. But the real jews, the ones in Israel, and I grew up in Israel, to them the word goy is an offensive term used for anyone that's non Jewish. The more religious you are the more you'll use it. Day to day people don't use it at all. It's like saying "chink" as an American. It's not as bad as nigger but it's still distasteful and people will leer at you
As you said, you're speaking from a Christian perspective, and while the Christian bible is nice and all, the actual people who came up with the term are using it in the way I'm telling you they are - to refer to anyone non Jewish in a derogatory way, and yes it is supremacist. Which is why in Israel you wouldn't find 90% of the population using that word, with the other 10% being variations of superjews who would use that word when warning or preaching against foreign influences to their peers
I enjoy our discussion haha