I have had enough. My dating life is complete ass. I rarely go on dates mostly because I just can't find women to even try to date. I think I do okay with talking to women but I have a hard time initiating that. Like at a friends party, I do okay with talking to people in my proximity. However, thats easy because they are near me. I don't ever get the opportunity to force my way into talking to women and I am not sure if I want to. I hear cold approaching in this day and age isn't really a thing. So if someone wanted to put REAL effort into trying to date, what would you tell them? I am already on dating sites. I was considering paying for a subscription but that seems so lame. I know those sites are basically farming dudes for money but I think I need to do that for a chance at getting dates off dating sites. What do you think? I want to put real effort in. I have been taking a more passive route I realized and its obviously not working. My goal is to find a woman I like and eventually have a girlfriend etc. No intention of one night stands or situationships.
I don't know. I just don't know. Normies are so quick and precise. One day two people you barely see interact come out and proclaim they've been fucking. But nothing changed in the day to day. I just don't know
>>34419955>I hear cold approaching in this day and age isn't really a thingsays who>on dating sites. I was considering paying for a subscriptiononly do so if you look good on pictures
>>34419955It's anecdotal, but I have known exactly one person ever who has had a longterm relationship from an app, and that was only because they fucked once and got knocked up. They're also now divorced after a genuinely awful relationship, and have custody issues. The other people I've known to have real relationships almost always say they met by complete, blind circumstance, like at work, or from school, or on a fucking game. Honestly anon, my opinion is that putting "effort" into dating isn't the way. Once you meet someone who you like enough and is a good enough person, sure, make the effort, but aside from that the only successful dating strategy I've seen work for someone who doesn't just want to fuck is to just live your life, be social, and don't be desperate for it or seek it out. I know "it will find you" isn't what you want to hear, but, it will find you. The point is to make yourself a person worth dating, not to try so hard to date. It's not a numbers game for most people, it's one of those aspects of life that just happens in its own course and time. Also, apps are used by women in limited ways from what I've seen, and that's either "husband shopping", i.e. they're "ready to settle down" and are less interested in who you are rather than what you are and what you can provide them, or for hookups/attention. It's like fishing in a piranha pit, and you're baiting the hook with your dignity. Humans simply aren't meant to be window-shopped like you're buying an appliance, but that's what social media and apps are, window shopping.
>>34419955The best way to make real effort is to take the best pics of yourself possible. Hire a photographer if you have to, and make it look like you have friends.Now, you don't actually have to have friends. They can find that part out later.
I used to carry a lighter. I would offer it to people to light their cigarettes or darts or whatever. Now i don't smoke. I'd tell them this. And they'd look at me strangely. They'd typically ask "then why have a lighter". I'd simply tell them it's to start conversations. At this point they'd either laugh, say "that's smart", or express incredulousness or something. But I've lowered their guard. and I would go "see? It worked!" I'm not especially interesting. But thats enough to at least talk to someone for half an hour
