Spouse is in a happy relationship with me but struggles with loneliness. The crux of the issue seems to be their poor ability to make friends (partially because of ADHD, partially because of childhood trauma) and a frustration over not being hot enough (what "enough" is, neither of us know).We've been working on this together. Normally, thatd make me feel better, but it somehow always makes me feel worse. Part of it is that spouse constantly adamant that im better of than spouse and always have been, which feels both dehumanizing and hurtful, the latter because i hate seeing them trash talk themselves so much. But i recently realized that i struggle to talk about my own loneliness, current or past, and i struggle to describe myself as ever being a lonely person, except as a child. I experienced a lot of loneliness in my adult years and i suspect i did not deal with it in a healthy manner. It's possible that i am still lonely and in denial. If this is all true, its probably impacting my ability to relate to my spouse and be a good support. Additionally, this is not something i should accept about myself, for my own sake.My question is: How do i go about working on this? My life would be better if i could even talk about loneliness, but i cant even accept the possibility of me being lonely. How should i start?
>>34422072Meet other couples. Yopu'll start talking as a group but inevitably the men will start talking together and the women ditto. Not always, but often enough, this will lead to the men becoming friends over men things and the women becoming friends over woman things.
>>34422080Thanks for the suggestion. This isnt the problem im looking to solve right now, but i can do two things at once. We actually have a group event we used to go to but spouse seems to lost interest, i think because they cant stop comparing themselves with other people. Maybe when spouse gets less insecure we will go again. Do you have suggestions on where to find more autistic couples?
>>34422072To be clear, >My question is: How do i go about working on this?is referencing the second paragraph, not the first.
Self hating people will never be happy even if they are given the world. You can try to guide her but it is an issue only the self can improve.>t.i hate myself and it ruined every relationship I was in
Why does everyone always user gender neutral language like "they" and "spouse" when asking for advice on stuff like this? State their sex because it matters a lot.
>>34422651I dont know why other people do it and i havent noticed /adv/ being thar way, seems like the opposite to me. maybe people want to maximally avoid being doxxed?anyway i used gender neutral language because we are both nonbinary. i actually use gender neutral language for everyone unless they state a preferred gender pronoun or someone establishes a gendered pronoun for the subject in the convo.
Isn't this the pipeline of good but retard hubbie that finds friends for partner and she ends up cheating on him with a younger man because of the bad advice of these friends only to regret it because the younger man won't assume her? That's the feeling I am getting. If you're in a marriage, your best friend is your partner. If you're lonely, find a therapist.
>>34423031>we are both nonbinaryExplained why "it's" lonely. Maybe you should get rid of the parasites in your belly.
>>34423031Mentally ill people can't form lasting relationships. Both of you need to work on yourselves first before even considering any kind of relationship with anyone. Develop a real sense of self instead of this fad you're chasing.
>>34423068>Mentally ill people can't form lasting relationships.wrong>Develop a real sense of self instead of this fad you're chasing.we bith have this already and i dont know what fad youre referring to so we are probably not doing what you think we are doing
>>34422072Do you have kids? PTA or just other parents in the park - instant friendships
