I'm 20m. It feels like everyone around me who isn't in a relationship is very into hinge one night stands and situationships. Which makes me feel like there's something wrong with me for not seeing the appeal. I consider myself pretty handsome so it's not rare for me to have girls flirt with me. I used to take these flirts more seriously because I thought they signified they actually liked me for who I was and wanted to get to know me better to possibly start a relationship but I learned the hard way that they just wanted to hook up for the night which made me look idiot in the moment. I since then started rejecting women who come onto me too quick because I honestly find the prospect of fucking someone purely because they're hot and to get your nut off really gross and objectifying for both of us. Is this really what normal people are into? I remember I was at a party one time talking to these girls and they asked me what my favorite position was, I told them I was a virgin which looking back was probably a lame move but they looked at me with this look of pure confusion like they couldn't process how the hell I hadn't just hooked up with someone already, asking me why and if I was waiting until marriage or something, before that I didn't evenr realize it was such a "weird" thing. I'm not asexual or anything cause I like the thought of sex and stuff but only when I imagine passionately doing it with someone I actually love. It's why I can't get much into porn either. Anyone else relate? / Any advice?
Hook up culture is instant gratification, low commitment. A lot of people want to have sex, to feel desired, to participate in what everyone else seems to be participating in, but don't want the responsibility of a relationship. That, or they view some people as just hookup material and not partner material. It's also just a societal thing-- movies and porn make guys think that the main quest of life is to fuck women. It's not wrong to have sex even in a low commitment way, nor is it wrong to only want to have sex with someone you love. Many people were not raised to place sex on a pedestal, some people were. Sex is nuanced and complicated, but people try to speed run it and a lot of times it ends poorly. The people you know who are hooking up and seemingly enjoying it and judging you are more often than not leaving the hookup feeling used or even having violated someone's boundaries. The best sex is built on communication, so if you literally just met someone (and as many men believe, you need to just instinctually be really good at sex) it can often be messy and not as good as people make it out to be. Personally I think that "casual" sex isn't necessarily wrong-- you can meet someone and have a physical and or romantic chemistry and it leads to sex, and you aren't in love. But having sex with someone just to have sex with someone doesn't seem like a great move to me. Like it will be good in the moment but inspire lots of complicated feelings and issues.
>>34422156>I honestly find the prospect of fucking someone purely because they're hot and to get your nut off really gross and objectifying for both of usWhy? Sex is natural. Stop hating your own nature and everyone else's.>I'm not asexual or anything cause I like the thought of sex and stuff but only when I imagine passionately doing it with someone I actually love. It's why I can't get much into porn either.I think you're just brainwashed by entertainment media and have an idea of love that doesn't really exist and it's messed up your engagement with sexuality.
You arent wrong anon, everybody else is. Hedonism is considered the norm nowadays. Im not even a devout christian or virgin myself but i am disgusted by how sex is now treated as being no different than shaking a person's hand. Im sure you will find a woman who feels likewise someday.>>34422214This right here is the most jewish post I've read all day.>Why? Sex is natural. Stop hating your own nature and everyone else's.Killing and raping is also natural. Its not 300k BC, we know that sex can lead to unplanned pregnancy and stds. Just because something is natural does not mean its right.>I think you're just brainwashed by entertainment media and have an idea of love that doesn't really exist and it's messed up your engagement with sexualityYour brain is fucked up from media and sleeping around too much if you think the concept of only having sex with a person you love is far fetched.
>>34422311>Killing and raping is also natural.Ethics is natural in humans. Base urges are also natural. We aren't devoid of ethics tho so your argument doesn't make sense.
>>34422344Shut up kikeShove your marxist tactics up your ass
>>34422406>I have no argumentYou just have red herrings. Not even addressing the argument. Human urges to not equal automatic action. We have ethics to prevent that. The issue in the OP isn't an ethical dilemma. You aren't smart.
>>34422156Nothing is wrong with you, hookup culture is cancer and you have a good head on your shoulders for recognizing it so young.
>everyone around me who isn't in a relationship...Lemme guess. You think the people in relationships are cucked, subconsciously or not. Hedonism is normal to you because that's the camp you fall under. The people who want relationships focus on searching for partners and maintaining those partnerships that return night after night. You're looking for a chaperoned date. >I honestly find the prospect of fucking someone purely because they're hot and to get your nut off really gross and objectifying for both of us. Is this really what normal people are into?Young love isn't working for you if this is what you understand.Aim for a marriage in your 40s.
>>34422156no, it's not normal, but it's good
>>34422156It is highly abnormal not to be into hook-ups. But whether it's normal or not isn't something you should be thinking about. All that matters is whether or not it would make you happy. If it wouldn't, fine.
>>34422156I always found it a bit strange that people would rub their genitals together, but they wouldn't hang out with you.
