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>>34424715
>she texts me, starts talking to me
>She is christian (has been for 2 years) and 22, allegedly bodycount of 2
>in the end, we organize another group dinner together
>after that she invites me to go to the movie theather together, at no point the word date is even used just to be clear
>I am unsure, I am confident this can only end badly as my personality has become more and more boring over time and I am a complete fuckup in life, genuinely 0 redeeming qualities
>humor her because I don't want to tell her no
>we see the movie, not much happens, as predicted I fail to even make her laugh
>Invites me to lunch the next week, again, I am not sure what I am even doing
>Goes the same way, I'm not even sure if these are dates or she just wants a friend to talk with, I'm not even sure what I'd prefer myself
>During lunch she explicitly tells me she installed Tinder once just for a laugh but never really used it or dated anyone from it
>We talk about Sushi, decide we might go the week after
>That same night she sends in a group we have shared a Tinder screenshot from that same night about a guy she just matched with
>Even IF ours weren't dates but just friendly lunch, why THE FUCK did she lie to me and then send a fucking screenshot in a group I can see?
>Is she trying to make me jelous? Was she disappointed I didn't make a move at lunch? I have no fucking idea
>Simply stop texting her, I can't take anymore of this shit, this is why I stopped talking to girls
>She texts me herself about Sushi, we are going to dinner together tonight
What am I supposed to do? Does anyone have a read on what the fuck is she doing? Is she sent by the Lord to punish me? Torture me like the dog I am? Am I being tested? She texted me first, SHE keeps me inviting me out, WHY is she still finding ways to hurt me? How is that POSSIBLE?
(2/2)

>>34424717
To be fair mate, I'm going to say something you don't like, but I'm not making fun of you, I'm 29, and I've been and still am where you are for the most part, here is my honest reaction, and my honest reflection not just on you - but also on myself:

>I'm going out with this girl but I didn't tell her it's a date
>Waah why isn't she interested in me???

And now I'll explain:
YES women are just that stupid.
NO she most likely doesn't know how life is for you because she lives a life of ABUNDANCE in romantic prospects and you live a life of SCARCITY.
Even if she did know - she wouldn't care, you weren't explicit, and girls are avoidant to reading signs of interest from guys because they get so much romantic interest shown to them throughout their lives that if they can help it they just completely ignore any 'signs', so long as you aren't explicit with it.


So my man, the greatest battle is happening in your head, and the reality is that you can't even COMPREHEND women's lives, she lives in an absolute movie. Romantic options, everywhere. Sex, love, security, safety, caressing, softness, care, things to do, people who praise you, people who are excited about you, people simping for you, all of this available to you, without even trying. Just from the mere passive act of existing.

So, guys have developed ways to deal with it, it's called: shooting your shot, explicitly.
If you get a no - you move on, maybe try again later if you feel it's right. You just saved yourself a whole lot of time.
And dating apps remove the need to ask all together, because everyone are already on the apps to find a connection. So you don't need to use the scary phrases, and escalate.

1/2

2/2

Trust me I know how scary escalation is, I've been on a few non-date dates with women in the past 1.5 years since I became single, I boycott dating apps because I thought they are cheating and that I should be able to find a girl on my own IRL. but every time without fail the girls give me a very dreaded "I just want you to know this is strictly friends for me" text, and it murders me, entirely. I'm so invested at that point already and it hurts so much. You can't do this to yourself. This is horrible and inefficient.
Realize the world you live in, realize the inequality. It hurts to accept it, but you must accept it. You are a pussy, just like me. I've never asked anyone out irl, I am deathly afraid of asking for a date, asking if girls are single, trying to escalate, trying to gauge interest, these things scare me to hell and back even though I can be socially competent. But recently I lost 20kg, redownloaded the apps, got a date, and we've spent about 2 weeks together now and I took her virginity and it looks like I'm heading towards a relationship with her, hopefully it does come to fruition. So yeah dude, either man up and escalate (unlikely with your fear + inexperience - no shame in it, I am the same), or use dating apps, and those will take away the scary element of having to wonder if she's looking for something or not, because we already know she's looking for something, and it's completely normal to ask "so what are you looking for here?" on a dating app.
Happy to answer any more questions, and good luck brother. You are not alone this is very common among niggers like us

>>34424717
>right wing
>She is christian (has been for 2 years) and 22, allegedly bodycount of 2
imagine, if you will, the multi-cultural melting pot of semen that is her throat and lower intestines (after all, those don’t count)

>>34424793
>>34424794
>Waah why isn't she interested in me???
Oh no, you misunderstand, it's the tinder thing that left me speechless. and upset because of the lie to my face not because she may want to date someone else.

If she wants to be friends alright, as I said, I wasn't even sure I wanted it to be a date, but why the fuck is she lying to me about tinder and then sending a screenshot the same night? That has GOT to be intentional, she's asked me out 3 weekends in a row and changed day twice for me so she didn't have other plans, I doubt she's drowning with people to date or if she is she is making room for me specifically.

I guess tonight I'll shoot my shot? But do I want to shoot my shot with a girl who lied to me to my face about fucking Tinder? That's gotta be the reddest flag imaginable. I'm trying to understand what the fuck she is doing.

i'm not sure what evil women some of 4chan claims to encounter regularly, but most of us are normal
be honest. "i'm not good with social cues and, no pressure, but are we going on dates or just hanging out?"
i need to stress, a NORMAL individual will just clarify and keep hanging out with you. someone with issues will either be vague/not answer, or will overreact. that kind of person is already undesirable, and there would be nothing you could do to prevent it.

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>>34424816
Should I say that before dinner or after dinner
I don't want to make it too awkward

>>34424810
You are over thinking and it's understandable, let me make some things clear:
1) she is, like any other girl, DROWNING in options. If she wanted a man to eat her pussy or fuck her, she could do it in the same day, I am not even fucking joking, get this into your head
2) People, especially women, say one thing and do another, she's a human with needs, she has a wet pussy, she's clearly on the market for guys, otherwise she wouldn't be on tinder
3) the fact that she asked you first, is confusing I know, but it happened to me too, exact same thing. Brother it doesn't matter if she asked you first, nothing was explicitly said as date

So your best course of action is to forget the particulars, and either ask her out on a DATE DATE while being explicit, or let it go.
And if you ask her and she says no, TRULY let her go. A no is a no. A "eeehhh you're a nice guy buuut I'm not really looking for something..." Is a woman's no - which is a no. If it's not a yes - it's a no. This is how you stop yourself from heartache and from getting played with

>>34424819
perhaps after, so you don't have to cut it off short or make it tense if she acts weird about it
try not to overthink! sometimes girls do just want guy friends, and you should respect that, but all it takes is to ask :) good luck bro! i hope she's into you

Alright, going in, eta of 30 minutes
Wish me luck (a rejection, as that would be the easiest scenario to handle)

>>34425140
Good luck brother.
I'm this guy>>34424793
>>34424794
>>34424820
Crossing my fingers for you

>>34424717
What is it that you think she lied about? She installed Tinder once for a laugh. Telling you about that made her think about it, and she decided to install it again, immediately got a match, and shared that with her friends.

I don't really understand why you're so upset, to be honest. It's extremely clear that, when you were hanging out with her, those were not dates: she was simply hanging with a platonic friend. Given that she isn't dating you (or anyone else) why the fuck shouldn't she install a dating app? And if she gets a match she's pleased about, why shouldn't she tell her friends about it?

You seem to have constructed a relationship in your head that doesn't actually exist, and you're mad because she doesn't have the same delusion that you have.

>>34425140
She's waiting for you to make a move, you dunce.
Find your fucking balls and DO SOMETHING.

>>34424717
She's perplexed that you're ignoring her moves, doesn't realise its because of your desire to not entertain the loosh cattle and the resulting autism.
I can only think of two things, saved sluts by christ who could ruin your life, which is somehow the kind of girls you attract.
Luckily for you look decent enough to attract girls. Workout and play the long game of finding the 1% girl, which will only happen if you are social. So socialise without getting sucked into it. You've hit the spot of "After death it won't matter" attitude, this should stop you from riling up to their bullshit. But at the end of the day you do you buddy

>>34425197
>What is it that you think she lied about? She installed Tinder once for a laugh. Telling you about that made her think about it, and she decided to install it again, immediately got a match, and shared that with her friends.
Even more tellingly, she did so right after OP didn't use the mention of Tinder as an 'in' to steer the conversation towards dating and shoot his shot during the 'non-date' she was on with him, after the previous 'non-date' she was on with him.

OP - she's practically presenting for you. She's also getting near to the point where she's going to think 'ah never mind, fuck this sperg' and move on.

Shoot thy shot.

never hang out with a woman alone unless you know if it's a date or not. if you don't know, you already kind of fucked up. you get one or two second chances at most. her mentioning tinder was her way of steering the conversation towards dating and you missed it. she mentioned tinder in the group chat because she is signaling to her social group that she is open for business. you have one last chance remaining. only one more "hang out" left where if you don't make her understand your intentions, it's over forever. it's a full count, anon. you must swing at the next pitch or you're out.

We need an update OP. GIVE US AN UPDATE PLEASE!!!
DON'T FLAKE LIKE THE REST OF THEM, WE WON'T JUDGE YOU WE JUST WANT TO KNOW THE CONCLUSION!!

>>34425531
Sources tell me OP and the girl are having steaming hot sex right now.

OP here, just left the place, we are not having steamy hot sex, we are just friends.
I guess now I can return to my cave and rest in peace

>>34425766
>we are not having steamy hot sex
I guess my sources were wrong.
>we are just friends
So what happened? Did you ask, and this is what she told you?

>>34425779
I asked for clarification if qe were going out as friends or what, and she told me that yes, if it was otherwise she would have told me

That's about it. It's fine, as I said in the OP i wasn't madly into her anyway I was jut confused and unsure.

>>34424715
>woman asks me out 3 different times on a one on one meal and to watch a movie at the cinema
>is she interested?
What more signals do want OP?
Waiting for her to grab your dick and stick it inside by herself?

>>34425838
Well apparently she was not >>34425811
That's why you gotta be careful with women, they are fucking deranged individuals

>>34425811
That's the fucking gayest thing you could have asked her. Of course she said friends. Women hate to be put on the spot with a decision like that.
What she actually wanted was you to show some fucking interest, to flirt, to touch, to seduce to charm her and then try to kiss her during one of these dates.

Instead you did the "So what are we?" question that instantly gives them the ick.

You do not understand women at all.

They want to be led. You giving her the leadership by making her declare what you are to her before you do anything is pathetic and weak.

You fo not understand women at all.

>>34425811
Sorry, man. I hope you don't let this weigh on you.

>>34425859
Look man, the last time I tried to kiss a girl after dinner she put her fucking hand up
I'm never, ever doing it again

Just not dating is easier, I would have never texted her, sadly she did text me
Thankfully its unlikely someone else will bother me in the near future so I call it a happy ending

>>34425866
Who gives a fuck if some bitch put her hand up? You should laugh it off. Her opinion doesn't mean shit.
Keep asking girls out, always flirt with them, keep trying to kiss them.

You gotta change your mentality. Women exist for men's pleasure and nothing else. If you date 10 women and kiss 9 but one puts their hand up = her loss.

>>34425871
>Who gives a fuck
I do, what a fucking waste of time accompanied by humiliation ritual
>Keep asking girls out
Can't be bothered to. Too much effort for too little reward
Best case scenario I get some sex, which simply isn't worth everything required to get it, but the most likely scenario is a waste of time accompanied by humiliation rituals
>If you date 10 women and kiss 9 but one puts their hand up
Incredibly optimistic ratio of success
>her loss
Is it, really?

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>>34425866
>>34425910
Tysm for the update OP.
A girl putting her hand up is discouraging indeed.
I'm proud of you for asking man, that's for sure.
Another thing - you aren't going to succeed right now because of a combination of your inexperience and fear. Those two things ate away at your confidence and you don't know that you can even get a girl. So your expectations are high, but at the same time you just experienced so much disappointment that you're in the mindset of "come on doc just give it to me straight" and that's not the kind of mindset that will get you a girl because sadly they expect a persistence that is bothersome to us and hurts our ego because we don't want to be that guy.

1/2

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2/2

So, I'm the guy who gave you the length 2 part reply earlier, I'm gonna say something similar but different to what I said before - if you want to avoid this bullshit cycle, which I have personally been stuck in for a long time now, then I really recommend you try dating apps on the side, and FORGET about dating from IRL. Let that rest. Completely. Because I'll tell you a really great analogy - it's like training wheels on your bike. You don't know how to ride yet, without those training wheels you can get severely hurt, and with them you have a chance to become a really good biker. It's the EXACT same with dating apps - they give you the opportunity to get rid of the escalation context and go straight into an environment where you know the girl expects certain behavior already and you don't have to ask. You just go and do. This saves so much energy for both because you know you won't bother her, and she knows that she's not there to be bothered, but to actually find someone she likes.
So yeah my man. I understand so so so so well that need to be left alone, the giving up on dating mindset. But I'll tell you as someone who avoided it until recently it's also self sabotage. Open the dating apps in the background with a profile that has a boring but honest description of what you like to do, what you're looking for, and who you are, populate with 4 photos - 1-2 photos of you super up close high definition and clear torso+face and 2-3 photos of full body, and watch it go to work for you, and let it go to work for you in the background. And when you text, don't rizz too much. Just ask genuine questions, I usually ask a girl out on the 2nd or 3rd message. Sometimes the first (in the opening message), it's really not good to waste time texting. And yeah man, it worked for me I now have a girl for 2 weeks already, I hope things continue.

>>34426555
Not him but what apps do you use? And I thought these were mostly useless unless you cough up for premium?

>>34424816
4chan posters don't actually exist, you are talking to some operatives who are paid to make up stories like this to influence the narrative and sow despair and discouragement

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>>34426691
Correct. Men are out there getting Christian virgin wives. Anyone not is trolling.

>>34426680
Hey, so let me give you the breakdown, with a backstory so you know I'm not some Casanova but quite a rags to """riches""" type of story:

Ex of 5 years looked for a guy behind my back by paying for dating app, cheated on me, left me for him, MOVED COUNTRIES for him, and is still with him, this was 2 years ago. It was brutal.
I met that girl on reddit before moving in with her irl, and my first gf before her on chatroulette but she was long distance.

After she shat a big pile of steamy green diarrhea on me I was left, 106kg 5"7 guy. 10 months on 6-7 apps, only a SINGLE, ONE SINGULAR, real match. From ALL of those apps. And not a date. REGULAR use. FREQUENT changing of strategy - changing photos, description, search filters, everything in-between. NOTHING.
I had: hinge, happn, bumble, tinder, badoo, breeze, at one point I had an app called lexia or something. None of these worked. I called off dating apps and went to try irl.
Cut forward about a year. IRL I got to make friends, and several girls I went out with on unannounced dates, with 2 of those girls it was like, really obvious that I wanted something with them, so they gave me the dreaded text of: "hey I want you to know this is strictly friendly for me and nothing more" which absolutely DESTROYED ME.
Then, I lost all motivation for life. But throughout that year, I also was working on my weight. I lost a whopping TWENTY (((20))) Kilograms, putting me at 86kg 5"7.
This made me look better.

1/3

2/3

3 weeks ago I decided to reinstall apps, I reinstalled: bumble, hinge, tinder, happn, and to switch it up also okcupid.
This time I followed the guidelines I posted above - honest profile, who I am what I'm looking for what I like to do, pretty boring stuff. First time I used a very clear torso shot where I WASN'T smiling for once, but my facial hair and hair are immaculate in that pic, it was just an elevator mirror selfie that I intended to use as placeholder "until I get something better" but the facial hair hides my chubby face so well that I believe I look 10kg lighter in that photo.
This time, since 3 weeks ago, I got some real matches: 1 on bumble, 2 on okcupid, and 1 on hinge. The one on okcupid was the one I actually went on a date with. The other ones aren't too interested and are either still in lukewarm talk with me with a plan to hang out when they are free, or they are already gone.
So yeah here's the thing, I found a girl who's very similar to me, also a huge nerd, also into medieval fantasy stuff, it just clicked because there's so much in common.
What's my advice to you?
Forget everything people tell you. It's ALL about your weight. All of it. You can't do much about your face but you can do something about your weight. And you can do something about your hair and clothes.
You will get, NOTHING. Absolutely NOTHING. As an overweight man. But once you get down into healthy weight, you are in territory to be looked at. My apps were literally zero matches. Not beinh hyperbolic - it was zero. And now, I've gone through about 5 real matches. In a month of having basically the same apps.
I finally had something to DO. REAL WOMEN to sift through.
And let me tell you, if I wasn't such a nigger, I'd continue my weight loss, I would get my very mild case of unibrow fixed to give my face that extra edge, and I would fucking figure out how to dress up and stop being so fucking scared of looking good.

3/3

I would take a shower, make myself look GREAT, take a walk with a friend who has a high definition REAL camera, and I would watch these apps just go to work for me. I've had just 5 matches and I went from being a total loser nigger just VYING for attention, to someone who's actually feeling a bit overwhelmed. Because actually going on a date is pretty daunting. I also don't text much, in the 2nd or 3rd message I already offer something to do. And I love to have a call too, it helps me vet the person and get a feel for how the date will go.
I still feel like crap and feel like killing myself to be fair with you, because my life is just shit and I find it hard to have motivation to do anything. But at least now I have something interesting to do - I can breed xd
Feel free to ask me more, good luck brother!

>>34426754
>>34426758
>>34426765
Thanks for the effort post. Similar to you I had a bad relationship and kind of decided it's time to stop being a pussy and get back on the horse. Thankfully I'm in good shape and I'd actually rate myself pretty high on attractiveness, but unfortunately it's not all great since I'm socially retarded. I figure this is good a way as any to start practicing. How old are you? I'm 30, so I don't know how that's going to affect my chances.

>>34426861
I'm 29, turning 30 in a few short months.
So yeah, we're pretty much in the same boat.
I'm still in school too, so, the only thing I have going is that I live alone in a studio apartment which I'm renting. I'm not hot stuff on paper but we don't have to be, and I can be socially competent but currently I'm socially retarded and I still somehow got a girl. I think it's because I go for girls who already show signs of interest in me, and that gives me the confidence boost to bounce off of and be that charismatic man for her in the moment. And hey it works, so like, I guess you can be socially retarded in general, but with your one chick if you feel the vibe she'll feel it too.
Feel free to ask more questions, I really love to help, I just hate that I haven't been able to help for so long because my life was just going to shit.
My addiction my whole life was to play games, watch videos, and cum to porn, I know that some people do drugs or drink or gamble to have fun but I don't do that, I'll be more than happy if my addiction will be dating. Like yeah it sucks when shit doesn't go your way and that you have to like, ask them nice questions to get to know them and be aware of their feelings and stuff, and make suggestions to do things, it's a bit annoying and later it can also not pay off, but like, it's something to do. And on the scale of "how worth is this to do" I put it on the highest. I don't think I'll go a moment without dating from here on out. Unfortunately for me, I know it sounds bad, but it's true that a lot of my self worth and self esteem come from how women view me. Specifically women. When I had my stable 5 year gf I was getting perfect and near perfect grades in school, playing games was fun, sleeping with her at night was amazing, having access to touch butt and eat pussy and kiss beautiful lips all the time was incredible.

1/2

2/2

I had the excitement and motivation to do something more with my life, to cook, to organize a trip for me and her, stuff like that. Now I have none of that vim and excitement for life that I had before, and despite being a very happy guy for the large majority of my life - I lost it in the last 2 years. Alot of this has to do with girls. I truly have unresolved trauma and I think that I'm just a person who needs love and needs that one other person and I couldn't give a fuck like, colleagues are nice, coworkers, people on the street. But I see it all as distraction from my one true sweetie, and if I don't have her then everything feels futile.
On the contrary, when I do have her I'm able to be a more genuine man with everyone, I genuinely want to do work. Good work. I genuinely want to be useful. I genuinely want to take part in friendly activities and hobbies once in a while because I know that when I go back home I have this special person and they love me and they're thinking about me and I'm thinking about them. And I can't have this any other way. This is how I'm personally wired to live my life, I have an extremely attached attachment style. But once it's reciprocated - I feel safe, and everything's alright. It's just really hard to find this person.
I hope I can find her soon and that this girl I'm seeing now doesn't send me a dreaded text that she's not into me anymore or outright stops texting me

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>>34426555
OP here, I am not virgin, I have had 3 partners, 1 being a long relationship and one a 2 month situationship
I don't think I need training wheels, I just can't be bothered, I was looking for something long term and realized I would never have it so I gave up

It goes beyond the scope of the thread, but while I used to go to the gym years ago I am now a little bit fat, I still don't have a driver license, I am a fuckup and behind in university because I worked as a waiter for 2 years, I live alone, I don't make women laugh (I used to be able to), I am not confident, I am not brave, I am not inetersting, there is genuinely nothing attractive in me that would attract a non mentally ill girl, and apps are the last place I should look for anything. I am really not looking for dating advice, I just wanted to make a thread about this specific situation, there is no salvaging my situation beyond this point and I don't feel like wasting time on tinder whores would fix my problems

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>>34427495
> I am no good at 1 2 3 4 etc.. I'm not looking for dating advice, I don't feel like it'll fix my problems
I appreciate you replying man.
You described me word for word. Without any exceptions. I'm also 29 about to turn 30 on top of all of this.
Also live alone, also fat, also no drivers license, also not confident and see zero self worth in me. I'm not going to push you to do dating apps, that's your choice, but based on my recent experience you should know that even a fuck up like us can find someone. I'm going to assume that you are loyal, you know what it means to have someone, you know how to hold on to them and treat them well. You're not just a fuck boy. That stability and understanding alone puts you above many, many other men. As attractive as they may be, they don't have the same mindset you do. There are girls who will absolutely love you, and if you're not ready that's fine. And I'm sorry she played with you, I know that you'll continue choosing to not look for signs in anyone or pursue anyone to avoid this bullshit, I know because I'm the same. and that's honestly the best course of action for people like us, who are scared of escalation. I'm not saying you didn't have relationships. I had relationships too, I'm just saying that for someone who struggles the same way I do, and as someone who also offloads all of that pressure from irl and essentially gave up, that if you do ever want to restart this, I recommend putting your time and energy towards good pics on dating apps and then talking to your matches.
It'll be a better use of your energy, and then your irl chud life can continue as usual.

Best of luck brother, good thread, I enjoy it. I'm here for any further discussion or questions

>>34427515
>you know how to hold on to them and treat them well
Meh, the relationship wasn't exactly great and it was partly because of my abrasive personality, but whatever, I don't cheat at least.
>As attractive as they may be, they don't have the same mindset you do. There are girls who will absolutely love you
Look man, you have to understand that this sounds like you are aiming for girls who have "had their fun" and are now looking to settle down with you because you look reliable

Except I don't look reliable either, but that's a secondary problem, because I see an issue with the premise of your strategy in the first place. I simply do not trust girls on dating apps, either they are there because they are whores, or they are there because they are ugly, alternatively they could be there because they are mentally ill. Either way, I cannot imagine a good outcome.

>>34427539
>Look man, you have to understand that this sounds like you are aiming for girls who have "had their fun" and are now looking to settle down with you because you look reliable
I feel like that's projection man, because the girl I met on a dating app 3 weeks ago was a virgin, and over the last 3 weeks I was her first everything. And she's 27 and I'm 29
I'm not selling myself as reliable, and I'm not telling you to be reliable either.
I understand the apprehension, and all those girls you listed do go on dating apps, but the girl I listed is also on dating apps. It's a large world, and without trying you wouldn't have a chance. But yeah man I'll get off your back, because I see you aren't seeing any good outcomes and I totally get it dude. It's the same for me, I'm just waiting for a "look I like you but as a friend" text to come still, because I've also had nothing but failure and stagnation in the past 2 years. But I'm trying to stay positive and hope she invites me to her place again. I guess what I'm saying is that the dating apps are probably the least offensive way and most straightforward way to try and get a girl because you can get over things faster.

Wish you luck brother