Hello, I don't often post here but I have lurked for many years. I would like to ask for your opinions please. I have had a best friend since high school, we were essentially best friends and did everything together for over 10 years, we would talk and play games/watch shows or simply scroll YouTube together every single day from the moment I got home from work/school to the point of bed. Context, my friend struggles with many things, depression and inadequacy in life around not progressing with things like getting a girlfriend, working a job, living life etc. whilst we were friends, I actually started talking to someone online that I eventually fell for romantically, this was an online friendship that became a loving relationship and part of me never wanted to share this because I didn't know if it would pan out, we met online and lived on opposite sides of the world. We didn't share much about each other and slowly we learnt names, what we do and what we look like. In addition to this, the girl I actually fell for was Transgender. This is something I personally came to terms with and realised that I simply like this person for who they are regardless of their gender, still, I shared this relationship with nobody, not even my family and ultimately not my best friend either.1/3
>>34428179My best friend is a Jehova's Witness and has pretty extreme political beliefs around Trans people too, I've heard it all but never said anything along those lines aside from essentially not agreeing with this comments. Anyway, as a result of all of this, I did not share my relationship with my best friend until I had been in this relationship for about 4 years, it was only once I knew we were very serious and were making plans for her to move to my country to live with me that I decided to share this with my family, my best friend and my friend group. Initially he was very surprised about this and actually shared something he had been hiding that was very personal too, although this isn't relevant. After this he strayed away from me for a few days and eventually came back to me with a message he had written about his feelings and read it out loud to me over a call, he essentially was saying that he didn't know who I was and that everything felt like a lie. Things were strange between us for quite some time, eventually, my girlfriend moved in with me and I attempted to keep my communication and game time as open as I could, but instead of an every day thing this became every three to four days as I was learning to live with someone I have waited for a very long time to live with, I was also showing her my home country and my family. Fast forwarding, things were very hard between us, he went through stages of being pretty cruel and dismissive of me, this came up in the many conversations we had about the topic of my girlfriend, he would say things like "I know I can be an asshole, but I'm hurt and upset" essentially saying it was the hardest year of his life since learning about my relationship and me pulling away a little bit to change my focus. 2/3
>>34428186I continued to try and make this friendship work but often times spent together in calls with friends would end up being shade thrown at Transgender people, small inside jokes that I'm not included in when scrolling Twitter and an LGBTQ poster says something unhinged and other little jabs that honestly I guess I was okay with if it meant I had my friend. But his messages towards me essentially stopped, asking to play things was met with silence and joining group calls I would be ignored quite a lot. So as of about 6 months ago, I made the decision to stop showing up to this particular server and focus my attention on my other friends who were more accepting and understanding of me, these friends are all apart of the same group, so sometimes there would be overlap where my old best friend would be there too, sometimes it felt like it was getting better then other times I just get completely disregarded and ignored. The same statements float around about not knowing who I am, thinking I am a fake person and that I have lied about my life. I feel like he would hate me for stepping away but it actually hurts a lot to be ignored and disregarded so much by someone that was my best friend for so long. Does anyone have any thoughts or advice on something like this? I may have missed some things and happy to share anything else if people have questions. Thank you for reading if you took the time to.3/3
>>34428193Well I think that you need to talk to him seriously, let him know that ignoring you is not making your friendship better, make him remember all the time you guys have spend thogether. If that does not work I think you will sadly need to stop talking to him, he cant treat you like trash
Yes, you were. By playing along with somebody's mentally illness, you were actively harming him. You harmed yourself, the man you were trying to date, and your best friend all in one selfish action. No one has ever been happy living a lie or adopting a false identity, so if you genuinely cared about your partner you would have tried to help him accept himself as a gay man. Pretending to be something that he isn't could not have been enriching his life in any way, it could only hurt him and cause him distress. It's always better to accept yourself for what you are, than to pretend to be something you aren't. If you couldn't have accepted him as a gay man and needed him to continue the homophobic facade, that just reinforces the fact that you acted in a way that lacks compassion and understanding.
>>34428279We've tried to talk it through a few times, honestly this time it was me that stepped away and stopped making any effort to talk. I think I just struggled with being ignored so often. I feel I'm at the point where I needed to just stop talking to him but I also feel like I left things in a way that isn't great, it feels like a knot in my stomach not having things be okay.>>34428292I can understand your thoughts, but I just love them a lot and the fact they were born a male doesn't affect me.
>>34428307>I just love them a lot and the fact they were born a male doesn't affect me.Then you should want him to get to a state where he loves himself and him being born male doesn't affect him. Why would you want him to persist in self loathing? How could you think that he's comfortable with living a lie every day of his life? Your partner deserves to learn how to accept himself, and it's partly your responsibility to help him do so. Keeping him trapped in a delusion of self hatred is no way to show love.
>>34428316I feel like this is a different thing than what I was asking for advice around, they're quite happy how they are.
>>34428179>online dramaThe answer is always the same. Nothing on the internet is real and you shouldn't be falling in love with someone you've never met in person. This is terminally online behavior.
>>34428322No one who's happy with who they are pretends to be something they aren't, nor do they try to alter their bodies through extreme measures. Being happy with who you are means being happy with who you actually are in reality, not being happy with the lies you've told yourself to cope. Nobody can run from reality forever, it will catch up to both him and you.This relates back to your original question because it puts everything into context. Your friend isn't avoiding you because he hates you or anyone else, it's because you're engaging in something that's selfish and cruel.
>>34428327You're probably right, but I do live with them now and we're really happy in this relationship
>>34428336That's fair, I didn't even read the post. I read it now. I think you lost nothing of value, who you spend time with is your business. Live true to yourself.
>>34428351Oh that's fine, it was pretty long. Thank you I appreciate that.
>>34428179>the girl I actually fell for was TransgenderYou mean the MAN you fell for. Because it's a man, and you're a complete faggot. Read picrelated before you commit the worst mistake of your life, faggot!
>>34428186>has pretty extreme political beliefs around Trans people tooAs he should. OP is clearly a faggot degenerate addicted to porn, touch starved that turned gay because the only person that showed interest to him was a mentally ill faggot infected by parasites.
>>34428371Alright but what if the guy doesn't have worms? It seems like gay couples do better than straight couples.
>>34428371>>34428373I'm well aware they were born a man, I have no problem with this
>>34428186>my girlfriend moved inYeah, too late, OP is a faggot infected by parasites.
>>34428193>focus my attention on my other friends who were more accepting and understanding of me, these friends are all apart of the same groupFriends? You meant enemies that affirmed your messed up beliefs about life and told you exactly what you wanted to hear.
>>34428378and yet you think it's okay to foster an environment where he does have a problem with it? help your boyfriend leave the tranny cult. your relationship is doomed if you don't. being gay is fine, but being a transgender ideology enabler is just evil.
>>34428373"Men can't become women" isn't an extreme belief. Let's not allow the waters to become muddied. OP is the extremist for believing in gender. His friend is just normal for rejecting extremism.
>>34428193>Does anyone have any thoughts or advice on something like this?Break up with your girlfriend, get rid of parasites, and go to therapy.
>>34428377That only applies to two men who know that they're men and accept that they're men. Trannies are even more unstable and prone to destroying their relationships than the most BPD of BPD women, because a tranny's entire life revolves around a lie.
>>34428336>I do live with them now and we're really happyDoes he pump you in the ass? Did he had the surgery?
>>34428351>I think you lost nothing of value
>>34428377>Alright but what if the guy doesn't have worms? It seems like gay couples do better than straight couples.How is that relevant? You should fix the picrelated, in fact 0% divorce rate, because man with man is not a marriage to begin with. About doing better in relationship, of course faggots will have great relationships, they have no standards, they will fuck anything that moves. It's not a coincidence they have more AIDS than any other group.
>>34428417Why is any of that relevant to you? What another man does with his penis is his business.
OP, I know I'm being mean by saying these stuff, and it's not the kind of advice you're looking for. And I may not even change your opinion about that, because you're already living with a guy and having gay sex with him, you would have to literally change your entire life to be able to rid yourself of that, and it may be much more comfortable lying to yourself and coping instead of changing. But the truth must be said. It's better for you to know what you got yourself into, so maybe you can leave. In fact, the parasites are only one the many causes. You probably didn't had parasites when you started this gay sex thing, you could just be touched starved, some people may have been abused as children (and not even remember, bcs our brain tries to protect us from trauma). The point is, being a faggot is not natural. Animals will only do gay stuff when there's no female around and they are extremely horny.
Do you love your gf op?
>>34430071Yes
>>34430121if you do something special for her does she do anal
>>34428179"Is it wrong to break with a friend whose prejudices bother me?"I just said in 12 words what it took you three chapters to get out.No, you are not the bad guy.
>>34430391OK thank you for reading.I was mostly just typing out my thoughts as a bit of a journal and also decided to ask for others thoughts too.
>>34430391The friend doesn't have any prejudices. OP has prejudices. An unprejudiced mind always rejects gender as an ideology.
