>>34429091
triple cheeseburger: EATEN
apple juice: DRANK
penis: JERKED
feet: STINKY
vape: PULLED
apple pie: BAKED
women: HATED
comfy mode ENGAGED

>>34429177
She living rent free that much on your mind. I don’t blame you. She’s fine and her personality is cute.

>>34429194
the only person living rent free in my head is Marco Rubio

>>34429207
Keep telling urself that u schizo

>>34429222
how did i piss you off so much just telling you about my great sunday night? why are you so angry about men having fun?

>>34429194
More like the opposite. She is edging to dreams she has of me

it's over.

>>34429230
The only person pissed off is u. I’m gud blood.

>>34429255
U wish. She’s thinking of me.

>>34429273
no man, you're insulting me out of nowhere, calling me schizo, you're really mad for no reason. its just sad. maybe spend some time growing up and and then come back to this website.

>>34429265
it was poisoned from the beginning because she was a less than human slut

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The only girl I "loved" is the girl the one I've never get to meet face to face, she doesn't even know I exist...
All the others I've dated, I felt nothing but lust for them, no emotional connection whatsoever

a month without any form of message. the last one linking to a zoo article of something we experienced when we were together. why do you taunt me?

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I am the President of the United States of America and you will respect the President!

Yeehaw!

>>34429177
Hey cum guzzler

>>34429351
what are you talking about

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>aboulomania

I've felt kinda fucked up all day. I don't feel real. Nothing feels very real. The world appears and disappears regularly. It disintegrates and congeals. It moves without regard. It shows no hostility and offers no consolation. It feels completely empty. If you asked me if there was anything, I wouldn't be able to tell you.

For some reason; I can't help but think back to how depressed I felt when I last visited Mexico in 2006. There's just something odd about that time that I can't quite put my finger on...

(I also got very sick and couldn't drink nor eat)

>>34429621
I have an address, I'm at XYZ, but I don't know where I am

Despite being a Star Wars fan since the 1990s; I'm still uncertain as to what Star Wars is actually about.

>>34429713
De wanna wanga

Im going to kill him
And slap the fuck outta her so hard she gets brain damage

I know you're doing coke because I found a sinus rinse in your home. I could not sleep thinking of the idea of you doing drugs. And I know you did coke during St. Patrick's day too, why else would you have a runny nose for 3 days after that? I hate feeling this way, anons. I don't want to lose sleep like this anymore. How do I give up on someone?

>>34429748
Who

10 more days and I'm off this coast. Gonna be long drive with unexpected company.

>>34429177
>triple cheeseburger: EATEN
>apple juice: DRANK
>penis: JERKED
>feet: STINKY
>vape: PULLED
>apple pie: BAKED
Damn right up until here I almost thought this was my piercer from today.

>>34429091
I'm just breathing air at this point. Fuck

I came here to post and i forgor
enjoy your night

nofap has made me legit afraid of masturbating and it's fucking stupid. I've basically conditioned myself to be afraid of pleasure from going too far with ascetic practices.

>>34429273
Kek. She dreams of me all day.

>>34429091
How can that annoying auDHD bitch get a partner and I can't even get a single person liking me?? Aren't I more mature than her? Am I that childish? She says her body count is in the 70s but she's retarded, how is that even possible.

I'm way cuter anyway なの。

>>34430499
You're insufferable, probably

Guys, I don't know what to do.
I'm in this new job for 4 days, and I'm already thinking about quitting, finding a new job, and killing myself.
And even if I quit, it's not like my mental state will be better.
i will be worrying about not having income, and still have suicide thoughts anyway.
Also, the job market is bad right now, so it's not gonna be easy to find a job.

Let me guess ur letting them out on purpose so when they do run away you can say "ooopsies, not my problem anymore" and wash your hands clean of responsability. Your sick. I know exactly what youre doing. Even before you do it!

Okay. Leg stretches for sore legs does not make the pain better.

>>34429091
I would try to look for stuff to start a criminal case at work and instead it got me questioned from my boss.

Its stupid easy to find contraband online and I was hoping to find some arrests.

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>>34430692
Sorry to hear.

Don’t kill yourself

When I said I loved her for who she was and I would love whoever she grew she into while together I meant it. I'm not the one lost on what love is. I don't need her.

Everyone is talking about Charles Thompson but nobody is talking about Bo Newcomb. They both died horrifically on customer's sites due to our company setting them up for failure, but they are sweeping Bo's death under the rug.
Charles got a moment of silence and a charity drive. Bo's death didn't even get a safety standdown. I had been telling everyone that how the company has been handling safety will result in getting people killed, and now we have two drivers deaths in two months. FUCK brenntag.

>>34429091
i masturbate in the office reguarly. One when i clock in, one just before the lunch and one just before leaving.

I like sincerity and freedom for people to be nuanced. A lot of life seems very counter to that. Culture feels tiresome and vapid. I'm not saying anything new, just remarking at the distance in front of me. Lots of cupping my hands around my mouth and trying to shout my most convincing "Haha, yeah :)" way over there.

This isn't freedom, just a different cage.

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I AM SO ANGRY AT MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I HATE MY INCOMPETENCE AND MY CONSTANT AVOIDANCE OF MY DREAMS!!!!!!!!!
I am addicted to distraction, my phone, my laptop, youtube, telegram memes, 4chan, playing chess, watching shows you name it. MY BRAIN FEELS LIKE ITS FRIED. I tried so often to stop. AGAIN AND AGAIN I FALL INTO THE SAME TRAP.
I am throwing it all away. I have these (maybe good) ideas and projects and I want to try out. But they just stay ideas and never see any following through on my part. I AM LAZY AND INCOMPETENT.
AND I HATE IT. I want to be productive and enjoy work and try my best at my projects. AAAAGH!
I know what is good for me. I know I should go to the gym, I know I should meditate, I know I should leave my phone as far away from my bed and especially during the night as possible. I know I shouldn't listen to music/podcasts all the time. That just feeds negative thoughts.
I just want it to stop and I want to be free. I want to be successful.
Nothing works and I am loosing hope. I have this vision of myself and I can't get there.

I hate my mom, she's a stupid selfish bitch.

>>34431131
Why?

>>34431095
Some people seem very attached to life's charade in a concrete way. I don't know what I'm looking at half the time. Everything feels devalued and dehumanized. Nothing feels important or meaningful.

Venting is pointless because it doesn't solve any issues. Just a temporary feeling like you did something when nothing has changed. It's all pointless

>>34431146
You learned that from venting THOUGH

I fell back into goonerdom a while back and never truly recovered. I have some kind of a psychological problem that evidently tricks me that I need it or something, even though I know it's utterly absurd, pointless, and even harmful.

>>34431146
Legitimately scientifically untrue

>>34430499
>auDHD
i've noticed it's a thing that both men and women like this always date a lot. it's because they meet a ton of people and lovebomb all of them. i wouldn't be so jealous though because from what i hear they never get to date someone who actually likes them

>>34431166
ok this post convinced me to start venting on gioyc again whether it's true or not. i believe you anon

>>34430893
She probably needs you

>>34431231
I believe what professionals tell me

I spent $60+ on food for my family out the goodness of my heart and nobody ate it :(

You did not run the dishwasher on Saturday night because I put all the dishes away Sunday morning and saw everything in there was still dirty. It was not run because it was not full. Why are you convinced you ran it? Are you confusing it with the fact you ran it Friday night? Do you not realize the dishwasher not being run is a good thing because we saved energy??? Why were you so mad when I said it wasn’t run? I wasn’t arguing, just stating my observation. You yelling at me and telling at me it was run just makes me question my reality and it makes you out as a wasteful person.

>>34431273
Oh and then you tell me to shut up for not dropping the subject. YOU WERE THE ONE WHO GOT MAD AND DEFENSIVE IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!

>>34431267
Those aint senpai, senpai.

Manic episode ended and I'm crashing hard right now.

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I want to know what feels like to be hugged by a girl. But I will never know this feeling. I'm loyal to my 2D wife

>>34431338
Fag. Modulate with caffeine and possibly alcohol. I take a day off from caffeine when i start getting depressed.

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>>34431363
Can I send a hug through the computer even though my armpits are sweaty?

>>34429091
I feel like such a fucking bum.
Just been on my arse since October doing nothing.
Basically becoming a shell fearing about my health
Finally got back on my feet when it comes to looking after myself, forcefully making space for myself
Just need some work
Only issue is, most Americans I know unironically are on $100k~ whilst I'm on paper earning £52k p/a I'm at best working 6 months out of the year and I just feel like I have no path, a mercenary who just does things and gets paid for it to survive.
Wish we were in the EU would love to just move away from this awful awful country.

Yesterday after the day ended and all my coworkers went home I called my giel in and had her jack me off and give me a good suck in the kitchen. They made the mistake of having me lock up the place everyday. But the thrill of doing this is so fulfilling.

the world is ruled by a 0.0001% of people that are actually conscious and can formulate an original thought

>>34431430
Doubt

>>34431426
Ew there's cameras everywhere

>>34431257
Then she wouldn't have changed her number and blocked me everywhere. She decided she didn't need me long before everything went down.

>>34431433
are you even conscious

>>34431437
not such a noob here.

you know everyone else looks down on you but i never thought that way for a second. all i ever did was believe in you and treat you like a human being. you even always said i was the only person to ever do that. everyone else only cares about what you can do for them. even your own family only cares about you in the most superficial sense, because why did no one ever do anything for you when things got that bad? people can say they love you and they care but who ever DID anything for you? who really took your problems to heart? who was the one who believed in you and pushed you and told you when you were bullshitting and called you out on your self sabotage? who was always a shoulder for you to cry on? who took an interest in everything you were and listened to every idea you had and tried to make it a reality with you? i believed in your dreams, man.

i thought you were so cool. i never thought of you as a pussy or a loser at all, ever. i never thought of you as your insecurities, i genuinely did not see you that way but i understood how it felt. i never thought you were stupid and i did not think i was smarter than you. i did not think i was more talented than you at anything, i just had the info before you did. remember all those times i sat down and told you how to do this or that? and it blew your mind that you could do it too. and you said no one ever taught it to you that way before, because no one ever considered how you thought or understood things. or even just cared to show you how to do anything so you could participate too. i always wanted you to know you had power over your life. you really could do anything you chose to, so think about what you wanted to do and who you wanted to be carefully

>>34431558
so it hurts so bad that you chose to do me like that. you betrayed me, you threw me under the bus when i was in such a bad spot in my life, you knew that, all so you can get what? the validation of people who DO think of you as a loser? how could you have said it meant everything to you that i respected you and treated you like an equal yet you screw me over for people who told you upfront they are using you the very first time it happens? wtf? it hurt so bad when you told me it was an offer you couldn't refuse. how the fuck was that an "opportunity" in any sense in your mind at all? they told you to fuck with me and you did it because "what else were you supposed to do"?? oh my god. all of this for WHAT exactly? for WHAT. to be isolated, controlled, and abused? AND you have to live a lie to maintain this too? why do you choose to do this to yourself? of course when it happened you "didn't want to" and eventually much later you realized you fucked up. great. and now you're apologizing to me, fine. i appreciate the risk you're taking to do that, and all the info you've given me to let me decide the next move. you and i both know i have the power now to expose you and really ruin your life. i could do so much damage, i could take away your job and where you live and tell your family about this too. i could extort you for money. i could do a lot to hurt or use you and benefit myself you know? and i have all the evidence. even if i beat you up you have no option but to pretend like i didn't because of all the lies you've tangled yourself up in. people get killed for way less. i could straight up lie about so much stuff too to really end your life and everything you have, it would be so easy. it would be easy to convince you of it too. but you know i'm not like that.

>>34431564
>>34431558
just jack off. wank it a little bit.

>>34431564
i've dealt with the fallout myself. even dealing with the anger and disappointment. that took a lot from me. but i've dealt with everything you did and cleaned it all up on my own without telling anyone. and honestly? i came out stronger and more confident than before because it's so clear to me now you did not do this to me because i was weak. how could i be? everything you did could not knock me down. everything you did makes it so clear to me now that i was so right and good to be who i was, damn i am so fucking cool to take care of everything how i did, i really am the one doing all this shit! i never lied about who i was, i never betrayed a friend. i would never in a million years did to you what you did to me. i never ever did petty shit like this to anyone in my life DESPITE the disadvantages i had compared to you. people like you can talk all day about having dignity and standards and morals all day but i actually live by it.

and honestly? karma happened to you the moment you decided to do it. because god knows you're miserable now. you feel so lost, you're swarmed with shame and guilt and there hasn't been a day since where you could relax. isn't that why you just had to come clean about everything to me? it just wasn't worth it, was it? to do it to me of all people, the person you're asking advice from to get out of your situation? i can't say this brings me much satisfaction as i thought it would though, i genuinely just feel bad for you. life is really hard for someone who has no convictions. it kind of just forces you to become a snake in the grass whether you realize it or not. it makes you less of a man.

i forgive you, i can get over the betrayal. i can get over losing my best friend. but your punishment is worse because it's who you are. i still hope you have the strength and mental flexibility to become a better person though. when that happens i would want you to forgive yourself and move on. good luck

>>34431558
>>34431564
>>34431626
What are this persons initials

I can socialize pretty alright (I think) sometimes, so why do I some days feel like I couldn't be capable of it and even feel overcome with anxiety about the prospect? I know I need to remember to not fret the chicken shit, but at the same time, I wonder if Icould do social DAMAGE if I don't have any worry. I certainly don't want to become insincere or become parody of myself in my autism or something like that. I feel like I need to crash out repeatedly to refresh myself.

Only two times I saw Tammy pull out the camera was when I was acting funny looking unserious and recently after my energy has all been drained and I have no idea what to believe. I don’t think she ever captured the moments where u could see how serious it truly is.

>>34431827
Like I don't want to get too comfortable and kick fully into expediency mode then start talking like a wetiko merchant. I suspect I'm an introvert ut I just happen to have the capacity to be outgoing sometimes. Lord help me!

>>34431838
Saying awful things to them with no passion or emotion. Just disapproval, disgust and confusion. That is the angle they were looking for I think.

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Why i cant stop to think i have done something horrible and in any moment is going to blow in my face and everything it would be gone forever

And my brain isnt helping neither by making me imagine scenarios of what it could happen, possible victims, making me feel guilty all the time, like i was a real monster and make me wonder if that is really me or did i have a snap and i dont rembember doing anything like that, making me see the tinest change in the interaction with people make me see it as a flag like everyone know i did something wrong but not me

>>34431827
>>34431842
I have a similar problem. I have social anxiety so it's hard for me to talk to people sometimes but other times it's not so bad. Still, I think with the way that I am, I can be off-putting. Idk how to be a normie. I'm too anxious and self-hating deep down to just come off as a confident, socially graceful person.

But I don't want to commit social suicide by crashing out at people who treat me like shit because I probably come off like an autist too.

good advice is rare. bad advice is given in spades. you are better off listening to no advice.

I’m glad that spring is here now so that I can ogle women wearing skirts and shorts

I just wish it was okay for me to tell you that I love you.
I wish I could tell you that the last thing I talked to my grandfather about before he died was you.
I wish I could tell you that he asked when he would get to see you again.
I love you and that is not going to change.
We both have things we need to fix about ourselves, I know. The thought of holding your hand again is what keeps me going.

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>>34432046
Very similar here, though I have a capicity to internalized doom max, and schizophrenia/self delusion max, thought I don't know if either of those things are good. I can't really describe the latter but the former, doom maxing, is basically considering everything over, but then, in the midst of that losing your reason to care about anything, following which you have the opportunity to overcome that doom by the very fact of your continued existence in it's contrast, however, I don't really recommend this approach to people, because it perhaps creates another problem, which is internalizing potentially harmful beliefs, beliefs that limit you in another way. Sometimes I just feel a need to lock myself away and wallow in my own quiet despair until I feel reachable or I feel kind of timid, then I can just goof max. I dont know. Sometimes I just deal with some amount of fear of fucking up something good that exists between me and another person, or squandering something . It's going to take some experience before I grow confortable. I hate myself and I'm not forgiving of myself most of the time. I don't feel long for anything at all sometimes. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t3KFtu5K8lA

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The world is a harsh, violent, uncaring place.

But I don't have to be.

>>34432138
I could easily be experiencing entirely illusory problems that are a product of being lost in my own thought. I don't have much more than my own mind and self refference 99% of the time though.

>>34432172
Then again it's weird I deal with this at all. I'm left with an unsatisfactory sense that the way I am is just fucked.

Why do you have to set me back to srs level one if I miss the question once?

being 99% happy with something is great until you can’t help but obsess and dwell on that 1%. nothing could have convinced me to not poon out but it does bum me out that i'll probably never get a bf cause of it.

I'm perma-fuck ugly lmao, it's over forever, allegedly.

>>34432365
Weird thing to be cursed with piss poor genetics and irreversible ugliness. I wasn't made for this life in just about every way I could have been. I'm a gross freak by my nature, an absolute goblin. I should be typecast playing hunch back big nosed recessed chin little goblin creatures in LOTR sequels. I'm the spitting image of a lesser creature. I'm a fucking untermennsch. It's like a missed the platonic ideal for a male by 6 out of 10 points. I feel like being a male just seels the deal for me being a fucking walking joke. I don't know if I disgust others as much as I do myself but it's likely no woman could ever like a fucking genetic mistake like me. Everything about me is fucked through and through. Flat chopped and it's only going down hill. Might kms before 30.

I'm the fool for playing into these delusions that you helped construct.
Your nature is vile like everything else in this world.

80 bloody degrees in here

How can I learn to not be ashemed of just fucking being myself? Why do I feel so battered?

masturbated in my classroom and cummed on tissue paper. last bencher here and no one noticed. would do it again 10/10 experience

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What are you afraid of Gordon? We were never in a relationship and never had sex. Am I supposed to feel anything but a little funny that you want to insist I be friends with your tranny polycule? For all the time you've been with them, I've still got more /played time in WoW terms than those dudes with you, and they probably know it too. I have been extremely gentle to this guy you want me to talk to, but he just talks about his jealousy and all this garbage and then removes me anyways. It's not a competition. I don't care about who cares about who, and I am not part of this polycule or want to be.

And by the way I still look up to you and think of you as a role model of how a person should be. How often do you hear someone say something like that to you? Or is it just me? I never said when that role model of mine existed though, but that shouldn't matter should it lol.

No matter where you are in life I'll always think of you as my equal in everything. It doesn't matter to me what elo we are, what job you might have and I don't, or what job I might have and you don't. Those thoughts were your thoughts when we played, not mine. I was happy to play with you all the time in league, although I am allowed to flip out and rage if you invade red buff lvl 1 and die for the 10th time in a row, as you are not allowing us to stop at the same time until we get 1 win. I have a very Daoist approach in life now having my college entirely paid from my parents after sitting here for a decade doing their wants. The farther away from home you go, the less you truly know. Or something like that, it's in the Tao te Ching by Lao Zi.

I didn’t expect to see your friend request, I was surprised when I saw it. It honestly touched my heart to see you wanted to be my friend.