i consider myself a good person even if sometimes i believe and think about stuff that are by standard morally wrong. Although a particular thought has been on my mind and driving me insane. Like 2 years ago i met some guy that instantly liked me or some shit and cus i was not really interested in him i ignored him. Some months ago a friend told me (supposedly as a joke) that another friend of mine liked that dude and since then i have lowkey been crazy. i don’t even understand why my brain works like that i genuinely do not have any feelings towards him plus i already like a girl from my class. However i have been having both dreams and fantasies with him where i want him to fully be dependent on me, dress him up in cute dresses, harm him, grow his hair and put makeup on him. This kinda sounds like a fetish and it probably is, i definitely do not wish to want shit like this in my head but i can’t get this bastard out of my fucking head. I am too embarrassed to even talk about this with a professional. i genuinely do not know what i should do.
>>34440802Since you don't want to see a professional, you're just going to have to settle for telling anons on this Czech horse taming forum. And it's definitely a fetish, just don't jack off to it or it'll cement in your brain
>>34440802My experience is that only Christ will save you from this and until you stop relying purely on yourself you'll dig yourself in a hole.
>>34440802OP, thoughts are not real. And thoughts cannot make you a bad person or even a good person. Consider this: If I think about being a bridge constructor all day, every day, deeply fantasizing about bridges and their architecture. Does it make me a bridge constructor? Absolutely not, and you already know why, it's because I didn't even learn how to use a hammer or lay down a bridge across any gaps in life in reality whatsoever.Your thoughts are the same way. You have not actually harmed a single person in your actions, and from that you cannot say you are a bad person.
