>gf of 3 years who i love moves in with me. i do consider this a trial for marriage >she takes me to work a few days a week because i can't drive due to medical issues, otherwise i use uber or work from home>otherwise -- she doesn't have a job, enjoys her hobbies like gardening, and sometimes does lawn work if i forget or am too tired from work>however>she refuses to clean up after herself within the home, refuses to clean in general, and screams that i'm not her maid and can't make her do anything when i ask her if she can do the dishes (that she used up for herself) because i want to cook something for me am i really treating her like a maid? in my mind, i pay the bills and i buy her things for her hobbies. when shit breaks on the property i fix it. i'm always gifting her things, surely it's not wrong that i want her to mind the house, right? to my mind it's dumb that i work for 9+ hours then am expected to tidy up messes i didn't make on my days of leisure i swear i do not hate women and i'm not a misogynist. i can clean up after myself, and i always do, what's left is mostly what she causes. it's not like i'm messing up the kitchen and leaving it for her to do it's more like she cooks for herself during the day then i get home and everything is slopped
>>34442398>am i really treating her like a maid?No>She doesn't work>She doesn't do anything around the houseTell her to fuck off, you can do better OP. She is just using you to have a comfortable life, and she is with you just because you can provide this lifestyle in which she doesn't need to work.>She screams at you for anything without necessityThis is a sign she doesn't love you and doesn't tolerate being around you.
>>34442402i don't want to break up with her. I'm not getting through to her though and she claims it's scummy that I bring up what I do for her. But shit, if I buy you stuff whenever you need it then surely you can wash the dishes, right? I do buy her stuff out of love but yeah I would like her to help out by tending to the home
>>34442428>I do buy her stuff out of love but yeah I would like her to help out by tending to the homeYou're literally begging her to do what's her obligation, it's pathetic, with all due respect. Are you her father or boyfriend? She is not going to change buddy, and from now on, it will only get worst, imagine have children with someone like her, you will have to take care of the children and look after her. It's gonna be hell.
>>34442428Don't frame it in reciprocal terms as, "I bought this for you so do your chores." Try framing it as a social obligation. Has she ever had roommates? Splitting the chores is just a normal part of sharing a house or apartment with someone. There are a certain list of tasks that need to get done in order for your shared space to he liveable, make that list and divide up the tasks. If she's not willing to do the bare minimum you'd expect out of a roommate she certainly wouldn't be a good spouse.
>>34442398>screams that i'm not her maid and can't make her do anythingWhy would you consider marrying this?
>>34442398Any reasonable person would be like>Oh yeah, I should clean up after myself. I should maintain the area in which I live in If shes too childish to even share household chores, to not clean the messes SHE made, it is absolutely not going to work OP I'm sorry.
>i do consider this a trial for marriageThe house isn't getting cleaner ever if you marry her.She'll probably work better with a guy who cleans less than she does.
>>34442398get that stank ass hoe out the dooralmost all marriage problems come down to being a shit roommate and she sounds like one
>>34442398kick her out, or set some ground rules.
