ok so this is going to be a rather long post so dont ask for a tldr or anything. if you want to give me advice or reply make sure to read everything and not skim it.a few months ago i got my heartbroken by someone i was edating. it was such a brutal experience that i was extremely suicidal and considering taking my own life. however, me being suicidal also encouraged me to try doing things on a bucketlist before committing suicide. one of these things included confessing to a girl i've been attracted to and interested for years. she ended up replying back and we clicked. thing is she is sorta mentally ill (much like my ex) however she doesnt treats me like shit like my ex and actually makes me happy. we are also long distance. i'm having doubts in regards to my approach to the situation because due to her mental illness she doesnt handles relationships in a conventional manner. recently i've been extremely happy and decided that it's maybe for the best to the both of us if I only reach out to her when she decides to reach out to me. thing is I communicated to her that I would do that, she didn't address the message i sent directly. do you anons think im making the right call here or just being retarded and making her feel like shit with this approach? i did communicate.....>inb4 never make the same mistake twicew-w-well she's different okay!? but seriously though i think i got my heart so badly broken that if this relationship fails i dont think i'll even feel anything. i just enjoy her a lot and want to make her happy. the same way she makes me happythen again i could just be completely retarded and misconstruing if she cares or needs me at all for her own happiness
>doing things on a bucketlist before committing suicide. one of these things included confessing to a girl i've been attracted to and interested for yearsWtf? Weren’t you so in love with your ex you were considering suicide after you two broke up?
>>34444566>Wtf? Weren’t you so in love with your ex you were considering suicide after you two broke up?well thing is we kinda got together by accident i'd say. that's probably the reason it didn't work out. but to answer your question more directly: nothing prevents a man from feeling in love or admiring someone else and being in a relationship with another person
Ignore whatever common sense is telling you and date this girl you like. The happiness you're feeling with her is real.You were going to die anyways.
>>34444589>Ignore whatever common sense is telling you and date this girl you like. The happiness you're feeling with her is real.You were going to die anyways.well i'm already doing that though. my question is if theres any optimal way for me to navigate this relationship without fucking it up. i remember that my ex when she broke up with me told me i made her feel miserable (she could've been just gaslighting me to make herself feel better abt breaking up with me) and i remember vivdly lashing out at her. i don't want that shit to happen to this girl.
>>34444625Not without knowing either of you.You vividly lashing out at her suggests to me that at least some of what she said was true.
>>34444625What'd you do to make her feel miserable?
>>34444652>You vividly lashing out at her suggests to me that at least some of what she said was true.i only lashed out because she told me she was seeing someone else and then proceeded to ghost me for an entirety of a week after doing that. i got mad and called her a slut in a big wall of text. that was pretty much the only insult i used towards her, however i still regret doing that.>>34444656she told me that me giving her gifts and being in love with her made her feel miserable. which i mean it doesn't makes a lot of sense now does it. she told that to me after we were together for like 8 months LOL
>>34444675You all sound dysgenic desu. Stop playing games with this new girl you like and just straightforwardly interact with her and escalate things. Also consider therapy so you can be less unhinged.
>>34444683>You all sound dysgenic desu. Stop playing games with this new girl you like and just straightforwardly interact with her and escalate things. Also consider therapy so you can be less unhinged.nigger if you want to shitpost you can fuck off to whatever dog shit board you came from. this is advice.
>>34444685I can point out your dysgenic behavior and offer you advice at the same time. This is, in fact, exactly why I did.
>>34444707>I can point out your dysgenic behavior and offer you advice at the same time. This is, in fact, exactly why I did.you didn't offer advice in regards to what this thread is about you illiterate monkey
>>34444711Truly sorry for not telling you what you wanted to hear. Take the advice or don't, makes no difference to me.
>>34444720>Truly sorry for not telling you what you wanted to hear. Take the advice or don't, makes no difference to me.brother the thing is your "advice" has literally 0 correlation to this thread. you're either incredibly illiterate or just ragebaiting. i can't believe people like you can have access to the internet.
>>34444725Sounds like you're the mentally ill one. You will never be happy.
>>34445053>Sounds like you're the mentally ill one. You will never be happy.if you genuinely believe being happy implies pandering to random illiterate cuckolds on 4chan then you're not only projecting; you're most likely also a trans zogbot. get the fuck out of my thread and fuck off to >>>>/lgbt/
>>34445125Why are you so full of anger of hate? Work on yourself before dating ANYONE.
>>34445132>Why are you so full of anger of hate? Work on yourself before dating ANYONE.>full of anger of hate?you're proving my point that you're a illiterate troon cuck you know
>>34444496>do you anons think im making the right call here or just being retarded and making her feel like shit with this approach?You're being retarded and treating her like shit. Look, it's already not fair on her to be getting involved with someone when you're still that hung up on your ex. It's not really fair on either of you to be getting into a "long-distance" thing - those make for a lot of emotion and frustration, and when the two of you do finally meet for real, the chances are one of you will be disappointed and all of that time and emotion will have been wasted. On top of that, instead of actually having a relationship, communicating, and being who you really are, you're just playing mental chess and trying to manipulate the situation. And you are consciously getting involved with someone who, mentally, resembles the person who hurt you really badly.All in all both you and the whole situation sound like a fucking mess. If you're going to salvage anything useful out of this at all, at least stop trying to game things and actually talk to the poor woman in the way that feels natural to you. A good relationship doesn't involve calculation like this.
>>34445191thanks for actually properly replying to my post. UNLIKE THAT KEK! i'll use your advice anon
>>34444496Happiness that only exists on the basis of a relationship with another person isn't happiness, it's misery waiting in ambush. You need to develop your own secure happiness before you end up feeling suicidal again. Even if this relationship were to theoretically work out for the rest of your life, at some point either you or her will have to leave this world, and you'd be back in the same boat of depression. Establishing your own happiness comes first, relationships come second. You can't even be a good partner to somebody else if you aren't happy by yourself first, because emotional dependency always breeds jealousy and resentment.
>>34445245see dude but the thing is i think that this girl somehow managed to make me secure my own happiness. cause like i didn't really think about her at all for a while and i'm still happy. as a matter of fact i've been just autistically fixated on my own sperg things and just fine. i'm sorry if I wasn't able to convey that through the body of my post. i always try my best to express myself through sans communication.
>>34445879Would you still be happy, and able to part amicably, if she were to leave you? If so, then you've got nothing to worry about. Just go through the relationship naturally, honestly and sincerely, and if it works out that's great, and if it doesn't work out that's also great. It's not possible to screw up a relationship with sincerity, it can only be screwed up with insincerity. A relationship that ends due to sincerity was never a potential relationship in the first place, and realizing that lack of potential is always a cause for celebration so that each of you can go on your way and find somebody who is compatible.
>>34445915>Would you still be happy, and able to part amicably, if she were to leave you? yes!! i would!>it can only be screwed up with insincerity.i think what made me so happy and feel normal again was how sincere we were to each other yk? she didn't treat me like shit or anything she just stayed true and honest to herself while talking to a broken man like myself. i think that when i finally realized that she didn't own me such charitability, especially in her position, it just made me have faith again in humanity. i don't know if i can make you understand though. i don't know if i'll ever make anyone able to understand>nothing to worry about.i mean while that's true i fear not being able to ever repay her in any meaningful manner for what she did to me. i don't think it's possible to do it. even though i feel very free at the same time i feel that i'm in debt to her if that makes any sense at all. one thing she told me is that it makes her happy to see me happy/make me happy. so maybe you are right and i'm just worrying about a non-existent issue.
