I demand /adv/'s advice>at work>have a gorgeous coworker, 38>I say nothing, she keeps giving signals she has a crush on me>she's currently single>No simpery ensues>She's fucking busy as hell at work and has to also go to meetings and get hit on constantly>she's loaded but I'm not gonna fucking bother her>We constantly talk outside of work, but no weekends yet>She's constantly flirting at workI'm more cohesive than that. Point is, I don't know what the fuck is going on. She hugged me, constantly wants to arrange dates "sometime" on her own volition, and hearts every text I send her, even though I treat it like warmth, not love.>fast forward, uh nothing changed, maybe preening my clothes more but I ain't saying shit>dare I ask?>she says she always loves seeing me>dare I bother?>She tells me anything I need I can call on her>she's dealt with COVID, a bunch of meetings, an inspection, etc etc>It's been a week since we saw each other>Haven't texted her since like 5 days agoGawrsh, I feel like I'm screwing up. How ever do I proceed? I can honestly keep this up forever, it's kinda fun. But I understand I shouldn't and I should do something.
>>34453102First, how important is this job to your wallet and wellfare? If it's corporate office stuff with and HR department, tread carefully. If this turns bad, you could find yourself getting fired and/or having a sexual harassment lawsuit brought against you, even if she isn't the reporting party. Keep things professional while at the work place. If she isn't your supervisor, work should have fuck all say what you do in your personal time, but that isn't always the case.Who was the last to text in your DM? You? Her? If it was her, you should reply. If it wasn't you, maybe you should still send something. If she offers to arrange a date "sometime" it is on you to suggest a day and time or at the very least, knowing her busy schedule to ask her when she has an opening. How is she saying you should have a date "sometime"? Can you provide a screenshot of your texting?DON'T>Her: We should have a date sometime.>You: Yeah, that would be good.This is where your conversation stalls.DO>Her: We should have a date sometime.>You: How about this Saturday?>Her: I'm busy Saturday with a meeting.>You: When are you free next?Plans (whether hanging out with friends or dates) often stall out if it is left at sometime. When someone says sometime it is an opening for you to suggest a specific day and time to show that you are interested enough, otherwise it will be assumed you are just being polite and aren't actually interested.
>>34453144>How important is this job to your wallet and welfareOk confession time, really fucking important. However, I have a game plan to leave very soon to a better role. When I leave, we'll go out together to some desert she likes. She promised that much and is dying for me to be there.It was her, but she's working graveyard right now. I hate bothering someone when they're dealing with such a horrible shift. I used to work those. Sleep is important.She proposed we play Battleship together, and I went "yeah, that sounds fun". Oops.
>>34453158Battleship may be her version of Netflix and chill. Or it may just be Battleship as an innocent first date. Probably the later, but prepare for the former just in case. If you have a set plan to go to a desert with her as a date when you leave the company, that sounds like a good way to start the relationship properly, but you need to maintain the contact you have with her in the meantime so that you don't drift apart.Even if she is working graveyard, you know when she gets on and off shift? Before and/or after her working hours would be a good time to just send her a nice text, just to make sure she knows you are thinking about her. You don't want to be a bother, but she might need an energy boost from one of your texts, Doesn't have to be anything elaborate either. She may be working graveyard, AND now wondering why you haven't texted her back.Next text could even be>Hey, when do you want to play Battleship? I'm free on _____
>>34453225Oh, and pick one of her days off that you're also free on, of course.
>>34453225She says she knows people better after a game. But then says everyone else plays with her too. I'm not smart with women, I think she's just using it as cover.Anyway yeah, I should text her again, thank you. No idea when she gets off shifts, and she confessed to me her sleep is terrible right now.I don't know, I feel needy pressing her to play with me. I hate generating neediness. But you're right, she does need the energy. She always tells me she loves talking to me and I keep her mentally away from work. I'm apparently the only thing she focuses on to mentally check out of work.A bit to unload on me, but I get it. I feel it.
>>34453228As for that?She's also busy with tutoring, doing extra assignments at work, maintaining a business, so much crazy shit, that while she can make time for me anyway, I'd like to be considerate of her frail schedule. She uses our tiny pockets of time together to say what she wants and needs to say, and then she blips off for another few days. They're working her to the bone.
>>34453235Don't think of it like pressing her to play. You are asking when she is available and she already suggested playing with you. I highly doubt she will see that as a bother. If she's busy, she'll say so, and then you can just ask her to let you know when she is available. That puts it back on her, so you aren't feeling like you need to ask her again and risk bothering her when she is busy. >>34453241If you have no idea when she is free, you can't exactly pick a day ahead of time. You'll just have to ask her when she has free time.
>>34453297I came back to update Sunday is a good day for the both of us. Not sure if it will lead to anything, but there you go.
