I'm 27, and I'm an abject failure in every area of life. There's nothing positive about my life, and there hasn't been for a long time. I've been desperately wanting to turn it around, or at least give it a shot before I rope. I have endless to-do lists that are constantly occupying my mind. I never relax because I always think about doing something. But I never do shit. I get home from my shitty job and do nothing until it's time to go to bed again. My daily screen time is around 16 hours, most of which is spent on literally just watching the clock (both at work and at home). Every waking minute, I feel like the time is running out. And yet I can't bring myself to do anything productive. And on the rare occasion I do... I have zero control over my thoughts and emotions, so I throw a hissy fit and quit whenever things don't go my way. I also can't keep up a routine for more than a few days.I've never had a goal in life, and I don't think I ever really tried for anything. I don't even know what the fuck I've been doing all these years. I became aware of my situation only a couple of months ago, and I've been feeling like shit ever since. I have no friends or acquaintances, and my family exists only to criticize me and everything I do. I've booked appointments with a clinical psychologist and a psychiatrist, and I hope they tell me there's something seriously wrong with me. If not, and it turns out that this all has been my own doing, I don't see a way out or a point in continuing anymore.>TLDR: Realized my life is shit at 27, and I have no power to turn it around on my own.What do you think? Has anyone been in a situation like this? More importantly, has anyone gotten out of a situation like this?
>>34455120>More importantly, has anyone gotten out of a situation like this?no. you can't do anything, so don't even try.
What do you do for a living?It might be helpful to have a goal to work towards.
>>34455182Shitty factory job. As I said, I never had a goal in life. I thought a coworker was into me earlier this year, and that gave me a bit of motivation... but only a bit.
>>34455216>and that gave me a bit of motivation...I meant perseverance, not motivation. I have enough of that.
>>34455216>>34455244Your goal could be to get a woman. That's a pretty common one I think.
>>34455275I think that's already my ultimate goal, but it's also incredibly distant and vague.
>>34455120I can't say my situation was similar to yours, OP, but I can tell you I experienced similar emotions, feelings, and thoughts as you do. I've been productive and had a decent life, but I had severe depression and general malaise, which was exacerbated by a toxic workplace and family pressures until I ended up voluntarily committing myself to a mental hospital. In those 72 hours, I was at my lowest point, and even there I realized I had more to life to offer than most of the dejected, uneducated buffoons I was sharing a ward with. I resigned myself not to live a life of suffering, but one of happiness fueled by spite. I was literally going to live my best life possible, if only to spite whatever forces that be had tried to make me miserable in this dystopian shithole we call the world. I now live a much more fulfilling life, and am more mentally resilient than ever before. But that's a long journey to get to that mental state, so I'll give you some useful, tangible advice.1: I want you to read How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie. You can find it online for free, or most bookstores and thrift shops will have a copy for under 2.00 USD. It will help with worrying about daily life.2: Your biggest issue is stagnation, realization, and overwhelm. You've been stuck doing the same thing for many years, and then it hit you that you've been living in an unsatisfactory manner. Here's how you can beat that, in a way that my manager at work, and my therapist, both shared with me in thier own way. YOu need to break down your goals into manageable steps. I want you to take a sheet of paper and a pen and write down 15 goals you have. They should be the first thing that comes to mind. Want to get more fit? An education? A better job? Write those down. They should be general as possible, but you can add details if you have goals in mind (Eg. salary of 80K/year).1/2
>>34455373>>34455120The next thing you'll want to do is examine all of your goals and assign them a timeframe. Be honest with yourself. How long do you realistically estimate it would take to accomplish those tasks. You should have goals you can do in 1 week, 1 month, 3 months, 6 months, a year, and maybe 2 years. Once you have categorized them, I would place them into a spiral bound notebook and give each goal 3-5 pages. Now in each goal you are going to really analyze the goal. What steps need to be taken. You might want a new job, so what steps would a reasonable person take? Maybe you need to polish up your resume, do some networking, or take some certifications. How long do those steps take? Things will start falling into place. You will use this "quest journal" to log your progress on every goal, preferably at the end of each day.>I've booked appointments with a clinical psychologist and a psychiatrist, and I hope they tell me there's something seriously wrong with me. They will probably tell you that you have depression. Expect it to take several sessions, most first sessions are info gathering and intake. Be ready to have that information on hand. Also, if you can, I recommend an out of network/private pay pysch. Your ability to schedule appointments will be better, and quality of service will be better. The good ones all go private because the demand is insane.>If not, and it turns out that this all has been my own doing, I don't see a way out or a point in continuing anymore.Again, live to spite the forces of the world that have tried to bring you down, be it your parents or the system. You have nothing to lose by struggling. Struggle and triumph over adversity is the ultimate win.
>>34455120To recap:>I've never had a goal in life>I never relax because I always think about doing something>I have no friends or acquaintances>>34455216I'd start by asking yourself, what do you enjoy doing? Figure out the things that make you happy. For me, that's making things.>What if I just like video games and movies?Try to deconstruct it a bit further, what do you like about movies and games? Pair things you see on TV to skills you can adapt. As an example horror games might get you into urbex or shooting. Try to go to a range or get permission to explore an abandoned property.Next is worrying. Stress itself is a massive killer, the brain constantly will choose safety over risk. In some cases, that can lead to stagnation. >>34455386 Aspiration's a great tool to get you going, try to break things down as far as possible. It can be easy to go into something unprepared and over estimate how simple or difficult a task might be. It can also be discouraging and stressful to feel like your missing the mark and your not where you wanted to be years ago. The truth I've come to accept is life goes on, sometimes plans change and that's ok. I'd try it, but keep in mind that the most positive version of yourself is always going to be growing and changing.
>>34458671Lastly is friends. When exploring what you enjoy, find people who also like doing the same things and enjoy doing what you do. Don't be afraid to talk to people, rejection isn't failure. It means your finding out what you dislike just as much as what you like.
>>34455120You need to change your mindset. That's probably the most important thing. You're an abject failure according to whom? Yourself? Listen: it might hit your consciousness like a banal platitude, but I really do believe that we are all the best at being ourselves. I don't care whether you're black, white, rich, disabled, whatever—your life is your life, and nobody else knows how hard it is to be you. So allow yourself to recognise this. You have a job? Good on you. That's something. Maybe it's not your ideal job, but it's something you managed to achieve, and maybe that seems trivial in the grand scheme of things, but not every debilitating personality trait is visible, and maybe it's been more of an accomplishment than you generally recognise to have gained and maintained employment, even if it is just menial labour. Give yourself a bit of credit. >I have endless to-do lists that are constantly occupying my mind.How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. If you're anything like me, you will simply not have the time and/or energy to do everything on your to do list. Here's another cliche: you can do anything, but not everything. I'm writing a book, and it's going to take me quite a lot of time and energy to finish, and that means I don't have time for everything else I want to do. Regardless, I've still managed to find time to do at least fifteen minutes of German every day.I'd say that's a good place to start. Surely you can manage 15 minutes of consistency a day. That's where it all starts. If you can't decide what to spend that fifteen minutes on, just spend 15 minutes silently meditating, focusing on your breath. If you miss a day, don't allow it to become two days you missed. If you miss two days in a row, don't allow it to become three days. Just start by doing one thing consistently, decide what it is, and do it regardless of your own fickle whims.Take care of yourself. You're worth it.
