Okay, so I'm 34 and I finally feel financially stable enough to start dating and paying for the both of us. However, I'm socially retarded. How reasonable would it be to set up a dating profile and be upfront about needing feedback on my social skills?>set up profile with whatever pictures of me and the stuff that is dear to me, like my motorcycle or book collection>offer to only do dinner dates unless they have something specific in mind (the idea is that even if the date is a failure, the food will be good because i've already scouted all the good local places since I solo-dine all the time)>specify that i'm a functional-autist and have not interacted with women in at least a decade>specify that i would appreciate feedback at the end, positive or especially negative>my solo-dining usually costs me about $35 out the door, so if (big if) a woman is interested in this free meal ticket, advise her that i'm bringing $80 cash for us to split, and no electronic payments (anti-scam measure). Willing to go a little higher if I know it's gonna be a bit more, like a steak house>see how things goHow retarded is this? I am not looking to fuck, I am not desperate. I'm just looking for something new and maybe constructive. When I solo-dine, I normally just read a book (that I take everywhere) so I can keep doing that if this idea is beyond retarded. But if this magically worked, then at least I'm putting myself out there.
I respect your honesty about yourself but I dont think dating apps are going to work for you. They dont work for 80% of the adult male population. You might have better luck with speed dating or some in person event. Dating apps are evil as shit and really demoralizing, I've used them for years and I've never been on a date off of it.
>>34456391>specify that i'm a functional-autist and have not interacted with women in at least a decade>specify that i would appreciate feedback at the end, positive or especially negativeOP, nooooo. Any woman who reads or hears that would think you are a sad, limp, loser. Or they would just use you for free stuff.Just try to meet people and have a good time. Show the best parts of yourself. Don't just go in with a retard list of how you think you are incompetent.Be more confident.>>34456784I have enough male friends and my dad, who have had success with the apps. You just can't be a self depreciating loser on them.
>>34457186So it would be fine for me to take all of these actions, but don't put any of it in whatever profile I make? I cannot meet people otherwise, I've been solo dining for more than a year at this point.>>34456784The problem with other events is that when I go home empty handed, I'm going to feel like shit. But at least with food, I can say, "damn that was some really good food, as usual"
>>34457196Don't bring up that retarded stuff in person either. Sure talk some about your hobbies and stuff, but don't just dump on a woman about how your autistic ass hasn't interacted with a woman for a decade. Just say something like you haven't been dating lately if she directly asks. Something truthful like you've been working to make a fulfilled life for yourself first.
>>34457211But I'm not looking to successfully get a girlfriend at this stage. I just want practice talking. I have no intention of doing something longterm, nor do I intend to string anyone along. I just want a one-and-done dinner and then we go our separate ways.
>>34457385So what's in it for the girl? And don't say 'a free dinner' because newsflash - the whole point is that women can get that anytime with somebody they might actually want to get with.If you announce that you're basically looking for practice partner, you're very unlikely to get one at all and you definitely won't get what you want in terms of honest feedback because the entire situation isn't authentic to begin with. It's basically a roleplay.Make your profile and do exactly what you suggested in terms of using it for practice - just don't break the fourth wall and let them know that's what you're doing.
>>34456391Wow one of the first posts where I genuinely believe you're autistic.You don't need to say or do any of that, even if your goal right now is a casual date with no additional motives or intentions. Do not mention your money outright, ever. Don't tell them that you're not interested in an actual relationship, just say that you're wanting to "casually date". Asking for direct feedback on your social skills is going to be very awkward for them; I understand you have trouble with implied social cues and reading people, but it would be better to just be yourself and determine whether they liked who that is based upon their reactions to you/whether they accept another date. If you're severely autistic to the point where you'll interest-dump on them, maybe mention that you have autism so they know what to expect. Basically, just do this for the sake of having fun and getting to know others, not as some kind of constructive side-project. Go in with no pressure, ulterior motives, or anything. Whether you think someone will like you for who you are or not, being yourself is non-negotiable, and masking or strategizing is counter-productive. The goal isn't to optimize yourself to gain their interest, it's to find one who doesn't need you to change.
>>34456391Saying anything negative about yourself will guarantee no one matches with you. It makes you come across as someone miserable who hates himself - and someone like that isn't fun company.
>>34457457>Do not mention your money outright, ever.How do I stop myself from getting scammed then? I won't be able to think about anything if the only thing occupying my mind is "holy fuck she's ordering the most expensive things on the menu"?
>>34457496Take them to a cheaper venue for the first date. These days, taking someone to dinner for a first date at all is asking to get scammed, and you're stuck with someone for 1-2 hours who might turn out to be a horrible person, this is why a coffee date, or having a drink at a bar is a better initial interaction. If it goes awry, you can dip easily and quickly and without much expense. Otherwise, it's also just tacky to enter with an explicit dollar limit like that; a good date will express a little courtesy and awareness by ordering reasonably priced items, or offer to pay for themselves. It's on them to have respect for your expense on them, and if they don't then that's a great sign to not call them again. Also, do not buy them gifts at all until you've been dating exclusively for at least a month or more, or 3-5 dates whichever comes first.
>>34457515The whole idea was that even if the date goes bad, I want some good food. Am I just fucked? I might just scrap the whole thing then.
>>34456391Thanks for the laughs.But then, I realize you are tryng to be serious.That's sad.Since you seem really autist, then just elaborate a plan to use the service of a profesional in a safe manner.
>>34456391you cant just tell people to "socialize wit me plz". its like wanting to learn how to drive a bike but wanting to have some guy always hold you, you need to take the risk of falling before you can learn how to ride
>>34457543I mean I don't know what to tell you, if you want to go eat at a relatively expensive place for two, there's a chance you'll go out with someone who doesn't respect your money and so get taken advantage of. Most women are going to expect you to pay if you're asking them out. You might discuss how they feel about splitting tabs, but that's just going to come off as cheap to most of them and turn them away, which maybe isn't a bad thing if you're not into that anyway, but most won't like it. Setting a specific dollar limit with them will have a similar effect. I guess if they offer to pay for themselves at the end, you could take them up on that too, but again most just ask to be polite and won't accept a second date after that. There's women that don't expect a man to pay, but they're more rare than those with traditional expectations. I don't like it either, but what can you do, if you want to play the game that's how it's done. That's why people normally have a small, cheap date for the first at least, so you can determine if the person is crazy, greedy, disrespectful etc. and so you don't invest too much right away. The ones that would reject a date because it's just coffee, or ice cream, or walking around at a park, aren't worth dating and would have no problem ordering too much on your dime.
Sorry, I couldn't resist
>>34457919omg this is likewise hilarious as its brutal brvtal truthnuke kekkkkkkkholy shit how any girl says dating is suffering after looking at this, is beyond me what is girls perspective on this even? like how can you look at this and be like yup this, this is uh totally fine system and good or whatever
>>34457774>I mean I don't know what to tell you, if you want to go eat at a relatively expensive place for two, there's a chance you'll go out with someone who doesn't respect your money and so get taken advantage of.What about this:I don't say anything about my (retarded) plan, but if I notice she picks a particularly expensive item that is out of my comfort zone, then I mention that I only brought X amount of cash for the date? And if she makes it a problem, then I just pay for the drinks and leave?
