so today im planning on telling my parents that im dating a 33 year old man. im 18F. we’ve been dating since January in secret. its been online so far but i really love him and he loves me too. its not some weird groomer situation. we actually have things to talk about and we get along sooo well. this will be my first ever relationship i will tell my parents about. my parents arent against me dating, but they prefer if i just focus on college. (im in college rn). i think they would accept him if it wasnt for the fact he is 15 years older than me.which honestly, i dont completely blame them. if i was a parent i would also be a bit concerned if my daughter is dating a 33 year old man. but i know he loves me. he has his life together. he has a career and his own house. im gonna continue college and my other stuff but my goal in the later future is to move in with him and become his wife and have kids. i plan on letting my parents know they can meet him IRL. im so nervous. i feel like my parents will have a heart attack when they find out how much older he is. i dont think they will approve of this but i have to tell them because im serious about him.
>its been online so far but i really love himSo you've never met him? Like in person?Honestly I'd wait to tell your parents anything serious. Just tell them you're talking to a guy online who seems nice and you hope to meet him someday. Make it sound casual. If they ask age, just say "he's a few years older, not sure"
>>34456850Interesting. What about him do you like. Is it because he's older, so in your mind he knows the ways around the world, had answers to interactions with people or though situations, comes off as more manly and mature? How is your relationship with your father? Honestly and genuinely, is it also because of his age and seniority in the career ladder thus financial security.Is he genuinely that handsome. If he is, and is a provider given he doesnt move on and isn't just messing around with a young girl, then your parents would accept him over time. The age gap thing is very recent, a 100 years back it was the norm.
>>34456850You will never be a woman.
>>34456850>move in with him and become his wife and have kids.Then just do it what are ya waiting for? To finish college? Are you even gonna use your degree or do you just want the paper to say you haha went to college have a participation sticker you're somehow less worthless than other people who didn't go to college even though you contribute the exact same or even less to humanity College is a concept that needs to be reworked hard in civilisation 2.0Anyway, your love is cheap and so is his. Hopefully your kids don't come out too ugly n retarded for how little selection pressure you two seem to have put on each other
>>34456850My 25y.o ex left me for a 40y.o guy behind my back. Then moved to his country. You're fine. It all depends on how your relationship with your parents is. If they can let you make these decisions yourself, great, if not, that's a problem you'll have to face later too, until you solve it.
>>34456863i havent met him, but its very serious and i want to be upfront about him to my parents because i want to meet him irl but i dont want to do it behind my parents back.>>34456899i dont like him only because he is older. i would love him if he was my age. its just that i think because of his age we share the same values, like i feel like a lot of boys my age (18-25) arent really serious about marriage. they just want to fuck and mess around and hang out. jm loooking for something serious. he doesnt have a lot of money honestly but i know he will do what he has to do to provide for me and future children. im not with him only for money. my relationship with my father isnt the great but he is present in my life. i know he is serious about me, im just worried of what my parents will think of the age gap
>>34456850You know women, on average, live 8 years longer than men? That means he'll probably die 23 years before you do. Are you looking forward to growing old alone?More importantly: you are not in love with him. You think you are, but you're not. You're in love with the idealised image of him that you have in your mind. Because you've never actually met him, the real version of him has never intruded on the fantasy; and your mind fills in all the unknown details, making them as good as the few things you do know about, and giving you an impossibly perfect image to become infatuated with. If I were your parents, I would certainly be concerned about you dating someone that age; but I would be much, much more concerned to hear you talking about moving in and having children with a person you have NEVER ACTUALLY MET. You are moving way, way too fast here. When you've been dating him close up for at least six months, then and only then should you be thinking about getting serious with him.One final question: how much of what you know about him is based entirely on what he himself has told you? Or, to put it another way, how much might be lying about, and you would have absolutely no way of knowing? When you meet someone in real life, you also meet their friends and their family, and that makes it a lot harder for them to lie about anything really big. When you know someone entirely online, they can lie about *anything* and you have no way of finding out.
>>34456850make sure to tell them the part about how it's online and you never met
>>34457166This OP.You are in thr age of dual sexes working. It needs 2 to run the life the previous generation enjoyed with just the man working.You are in limerence. Promises, and ideals all fall flat when a man faces tough situation either spontaneously or in the long run. That is the true test of character. From your conversation it doesn't sound like he's financially up there for his age. You have to understand, I'm a male I should hyping up a 33 year old but since it's all online, you don't even know how he lives, what his financial condition is but from all you've told that he would try to make it work.If you were my little sister and this man happened to be: decent looking, well kept, no known history of philandering, previous altercations with law, his grades and opinions of teachers, professors, colleagues, friends, and finally where he is financially. Then I would give you my blessing.Trust me it all looks rosy in your youth.You need to focus on your career at the moment and let it play out long term.You first then everyone else
