How to deal with an asshole family member? I’ve asked around and everywhere I go it’s useless moralizing that doesn’t help my situation and so I wonder if there is anything I can do (I legit believe there is none). Like everyone says “forget about him focus on your own life” which is useless. He is this unemployed guy who spends all his time doing drugs, taking my parents money, and going out with a new girl every month (while I get no one), and the most annoying thing to me is I broke my back to work and go to school, often in shit hole places and now I have a boring job. This guy has failed his entire life, never tried and is enjoying everyday, his 20s are so much better than mine.All I want is for him to do what he wanted, which is to go into the trades. At least then I wouldn’t be jealous. He refuses to ask anyone for a job or send his resume now, and so my parents are trying to get him a cool job downtown working at a hospital. It’s so annoying cause I never get help and I love downtown and this guy will get to go there everyday with an easy security or cleaning job, while I waste away in some nameless place.Does anyone know how to make him go get a shitty job I won’t be jealous of him with. I’ve tried everything, I can’t ask him to do it directly cause he’ll think I’m sabotaging him. I can’t do anything man. Do any of you have experience to get this guy to stop beating me in life?
>>34457404>This guy has failed his entire life>His 20s are so much better than mineMake up your mind either he failed his life or his life is more successful than yours and you envy that.I'm like your brother, exactly like your brother. I am going to bet he was the youngest and you're what, the oldest? The right hand of your parents, the one who was obedient and did what he was told. And your brother is the opportunistic rebellious little shit who got away with it all, able to make mistakes and receive less than half of the punishment than what you got if you had made the same mistakes. Right? You did everything "correct" and you were obedient and life punished you. Your. Either did everything wrong, did not give a fuck, and life seems to reward him. And you're pissed! You're pissed because he stands a chance to make his own family soon despite being a dumbass and it confuses you.It shouldn't confuse you dude. Even animals understand it, even tiny little birdies know it. What do birdies know? That they need to leave the fucking nest if they want a shot at learning how to fly and how to have their own nest one day. They understand it will mean failing and failing and failing and failing and fucking this up and fucking that up and fucking everything up again and again. But they keep jumping out the nest and flying and failing at every opportunity they can - just like your opportunistic brother. And eventually they fly and they get their own nest, they leave the fucking old one and it was thanks to rebellion that got them that.Unfortunately he's a colossal undisciplined fuck up and you mog him in what it means to have discipline and order and a backbone. You are stronger than him mentally, he is stronger than you instinctively. How about you both just teach each other shit? You teach him how to cultivate discipline and he teaches you how to get the stick out your ass and stop letting other people tell you what to do
>>34457404Get internal family systems therapy.
>>34457404Watch Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
>>34457458You’re not like him, and I won’t listen to anything you say since you are on his side. You also can’t understand nuance, he’s a failure who fails up, he doesn’t work for a good life (failure) and does drugs but still succeeds, it’s not hard to understand. Stop saying “right”, you’re literally not even discussing anything that relates to me. He’s not rebellious, he’s a 80IQ criminal. He mogs me in enjoying his life which is all that matters, I’m not more disciplined, and I don’t care for that. I only want replies that make it so I can beat him, which shouldn’t be hard since he’s so dumb but everyone in my life wants to help him to beat me, from my parents to my cousins. >>34457478I got better replies on Reddit
>>34457490You don't know what his side of the game is like. I failed up too, I did drugs too, I was a petty little criminal too. And he's probably not 80IQ. Only retards care about IQ. Your brother is a conniving cunning opportunistic type. That takes intellect, it takes thinking outside of the box, pattern recognition and foresight to do that. He sees opportunities and he cold-blooded takes them, and you take offense to it only because you think he took the wrong opportunities. And he did, but it's thanks to those that he builds his character and slowly "fails up". He is the prodigal son. And it's the prodigal son who has a feast thrown in his honour at the end and not the good boy obedient son.No one is helping him to beat you. Fucking no one. He is doing that all on his own. No one taught him discipline. Your parents presumably did, they disciplined you and guided you and molded you and gave you the user manual for life. He got fuck all probably and he was left to figure all this shit out himself. And he has learned to be a cold calculating opportunist who will take every shot and every chance and every decision, right or wrong. And it's paying off. Fucking learn from it
>>34457508You’re a brainlet and everything you are saying is wrong. He’s literally nothing you say. He’s not cold blooded, he’s lazy, he sits at home all day, wakes up at 11 and games all day, then goes out with his friends. He has no discipline, never has. I know his entire story you Chinese idiot. My parents have given him everything, he literally has no skills. Fuck you leave the thread useless bum
>>34457508Why do you talk like you watch Andrew Tate and that black marathon runner.
>>34457404>forget about him focus on your own life” which is useless.Why is it useless? He seems to be enjoying life way more than you. And not to begrudgingly point it out, but you really have a stick in your ass.>>34457490Picrel
>>34457531I can’t just drop my job and become a cleaner working downtown, I have tried getting down town work but the companies I work for can’t afford it. I see basically no white people through my day, but if I worked there I would. And so I go out on my off days there and wished I could work there but it’s just not possible. For this one bully, this one scum bag, to get what I want without trying, as a gift, is so upsetting I am asking what I can do to stop him barring fucked up shit. So far all I’ve got is fortune not getting him an interview yet, but one day he will. And that’s how life is for him, he always wins.
>>34457514>BrainletYeah and you can't fucking read. What did I type to you in the last post? No one taught him discipline. He has no discipline and there you are agreeing with me>He has no disciplineYour parents gave him money, they gave you everything else. Don't be surprised when you learn he envies the fuck out of you for that as intensely as you envy his freedom. >>34457516>Why do you talk like Andrew TateThat guy's a retard. I'm talking like this to get OP fired up and angry so maybe he will stop whining about how he was a good boy who got no rewards and to be more like his brother who didn't wait for life to allow him freedom, his brother just fucking takes it like he owns it and it works. He wants high? He gets high. He wants a woman? He goes and gets one. What OP is pissed about is the dynamic called "Golden Child Syndrome". OP is the golden child. His brother is the black sheep.
>>34457551>So far all I’ve got is fortune not getting him an interview yet, but one day he will. And that’s how life is for him, he always wins.Fucking listen to yourself man. You consider yourself to be the more put-together one, I bet you even consider yourself morally superior yet here you are hoping and praying for your own brother to suffer.
>>34457557He doesn’t envy me, he actually takes joy in mogging me. He knows I like art and make art, it’s why he hangs out around the art school that rejected me when I was 18. He’s evil, he goes out of his way to steal my interests and then copy them, so I have to hide everything I do from my family otherwise he’ll take it. Like I can’t wear my /fa/ fits cause he’ll just buy the same clothes. It’s like this for everything. I don’t need motivation, I already do all I can, my only issue in life really is that he is beating me in luxury. Like I’m taller and better looking but he still sees more people than me daily and fucks around. If he worked he wouldn’t have that. But I can’t get him a job. If this one issue was gone I know I’d be better off
>>34457565Please re-read the first sentence, I’m here cause I don’t want Reddit moralizing. I’m not asking him to “suffer” you freak, I’m only asking that he stops going downtown and stealing from my life. In any case I am morally superior, my this guy has literally stabbed people for drug money. We’re not blood related btw
>>34457569>He doesn’t envy me, he actually takes joy in mogging me. He knows I like art and make artYou dumb fuck.>it’s why he hangs out around the art school that rejected me when I was 18.You dumb, dumb fuck>he goes out of his way to steal my interests and then copy themYou stupid dumb mother fucker>Like I can’t wear my /fa/ fits cause he’ll just buy the same clothes.You giga-stupid dumb fuck.He does those things because you're his role model you stupid fucking idiot holy shit. Are you that fucking blind? He looks up to you, retard. You are his big brother his disciplined brother who did everything "right". When he was a small boy you were his fucking hero. You stupid dense mother fucker I can't believe how short sighted you are. HE MIMICKS YOU BECAUSE HE WANTS TO BE LIKE YOU.
>>34457583I’m not his role model, I know you can read it this way. He’s literally a torturer, he tortures people and enjoys it. He’s older than me btw, I don’t want to give more info in case he sees this somehow, but he is not looking up to me. 100%. If you don’t have anything to say about how to stop this idiot I don’t care anymore to explain this shit. I tried getting him in jail, the justice system is not working.
>>34457591Nah he looks up to you. The only reason why anyone mimicks anyone is to become like them because they feel it's a better way to be. I'm wasting my time trying to explain this to you and what's more you spent posts with the implication you were the older one ("his 20s are better than my 20s") and now you're blurrying the details because you're worried he might see this shit. Even if he did it wouldn't matter anyway, if I had a $ for every golden child/black sheep story I read on this site I'd be rich as fuck. Just go and Google golden child syndrome or some shit, go do some research into what dynamic you're in.Stop giving a fuck that's all you need to do. Stop giving a single fuck that's the only quality you need to steal from his playbook. That's how you "win". Because that's what he does, he doesn't give a fuck and look how it rewards him.
>>34457603Wow I literally knew it, just like Reddit, my first post literally says it’s all “just stop caring, cope”. Fuck off. He never copies me, he’s into country music and rap, I don’t listen to that shit, he’s ghetto. If you don’t help me make this guy get a non-downtown job, bad shit will happen.
>>34457603I’m not even the golden child; my parents always liked him more cause he’s “adopted”. I don’t care for my parents tho, never did, I got my law job just cause it promised downtown work and money after art failed, I never cared for them. My parents work downtown tho and so have me in check trying to get him a cool job. I hate it. We need a caste system, if you’re ghetto and lazy and don’t try in life, you shouldn’t get to see cute girls in the city who go to university and shit just cause you’re parents help you. If he doesn’t work in the trades by Sept I’m fucking his shit up
>>34457608>He never copies meYou said Previous post:>he goes out of his way to steal my interests and then copies them??? >If you don’t help me make this guy get a non-downtown job, bad shit will happenYou want me to help you make someone do something? You think my text on a screen is going to magically put him in a job that you want for him? That's not going to happen. I will give you an answer though, since you're persistent, Let me first ask you this: Are you in a non-downtown job yourself?
>>34457404>How to deal with an asshole family member?You're the asshole in this scenario, so my advice is for you to work on your personality and stop being a neurotic self-centered narcissist.
>>34457618Yes, everytime I work downtown a year later they move us to a shit office in random nowhere. He copies me superficially, and I hide everything so he can’t copy me, but what he has got he always steals. Like my fits are all stolen by him now. It’s so annoying having to hide shit, like if he had a job and wasn’t home all day I’d be able to go out or listen to music in my room and not have him take it. I can’t be an individual with this, I can’t have my own stuff
>>34457627I’m not an asshole I’m an unassuming Mormon. I’ve never stabbed anyone
>>34457613>We need a caste system, if you’re ghetto and lazy and don’t try in life, you shouldn’t get to see cute girls in the city who go to university and shit.The women choose him because they know despite all his faults and his brooding bad boy shit, he is at least honest. You are so dishonest you contradict even yourself within two posts. "Better to be the villain that tells the truth.""Than the hero who guards the lie."
>>34457633You hate your brother. That makes you your brother's murderer, even if you never laid a hand on him. Read your own good book.Seriously, the level of pride, conceit, arrogance and psychosis necessary to obsess over a family member "stealing" your hobbies is practically clinical. You may as well be screeching "WHAT? MY BROTHER DRINKS WATER? I DRANK WATER FIRST!! HOW COULD HE DO THIS TO ME? MY LIFE IS RUINED NOW, HE STOLE EVERYTHING FROM ME!". Somebody with your mentality shouldn't be allowed any liberties, you belong in an institution until you learn how to calm down and stop behaving this way.
>>34457629>Yes, everytime I work downtown a year later they move us to a shit office in random nowhere.Now you're confusing me. One minute you're downtown with parents the next not. I can see why you'd make for a good lawyer, lawyers are paid to twist the truth to win cases and help criminals avoid jail. And the lawyer does this because he never actually cared he just wanted money.Anyway, here is the solution: If you want him to get a job in a role you want him in, stop telling him to do that. Instead do it yourself and he will copy you and do it. Because he is black sheep, and the sheep will follow whoever he feels is the role model. Your parents are not his role model, (you) are. But you're in denial about this shit because IDK maybe it would make you feel guilty for all the years you made him feel unwelcome in the home. Who knows maybe talk to a therapist or some shit about that. But if you can accept you are his role model, you can then get him to follow you into whatever job you want him in, but you yourself need to go do it.
>>34457640>Good bookForgive him anon he's a Mormon. This is the same cult that believes Jesus and Satan are brothers. Actual Christians did try to warn people to avoid cults that pretend to resemble the faith but did they listen? Nah. But you're right btw, OP has probably damaged his brother in ways he will never admit. Imagine being adopted and you had no family no home to call your own and you are at the lowest point in your life as a young kid, and a family chooses you and you are given hope and you desperately want to fit in to this family who gave you hope and you try to mimick your brother to become part of the family and feel at home. But the brother (OP) just offers nothing but pure hatred and venom and spite. Wishing for his downfall, spitting on any happiness he finds. Remember though OP is the "good guy" lol
>>34457633>MormonAh, there it is.But really, stop being so obsessive on what your brother is doing and who he is.You have demonstrated that even the thought of him torments you.That's not healthy man.
