recently I've been feeling really empty, when I was younger like 14-22 I was really depressed and suicidal about being invisible to women and just generally unsuccessful in life, I browsed r9k obsessively and posted there like 15 times a day, I was a fat smelly short bitter otaku. then when I was 22-23 I started going to therapy once a week and started to get better, started dating a bit and then when I was 25 I started sleeping around and having relationships but I changed myself a lot in order for women to pay attention to me, not just my looks but my personality too, at the time I though it was like "personal growth" I'm 27 now and I just don't enjoy sex anymore and I think its because when I have sex now I feel disconnected from the person I used to be and when women are interested in me it just makes me uncomfortable, like women don't think its cool that im a top rated blue archive player they just pretend that part of me doesn't exist because they like all this other stuff about me but I don't know what to do, like before when I was really depressed about being a failure that path forward was obvious, get my shit together and put in some effort but now ive done that IDK WHAT TO DO ANYMORE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHtl;dr im a stupid retarded nigger faggot
>>34460197Congratulations and well done for the self improvement mate. Going from being a shut-in fat depressive weeb into someone functional and sociable is not an easy task at all, you probably had to mentally climb what felt like a mountain to overcome that shit, that's hard work and you have my respect for that.I think I found the obstacle, and it ties into the emptiness stuff. >I started sleeping around and having relationships but I changed myself a lot in order for women to pay attention to meThis part:>I changed myself a lot in order for women to pay attention to meYou had made women and their attention the main reason for your personal changes. And that was logical at the time, I'd have fallen for that if I had been in your shoes. It made sense because let's face it, pretty face + boobs+ ass+ pussy and all the curves of the female makes for a very tempting source of motivation for any man. So strong of a temptation this is, it's the reason why boxing fights always had bikini babes as the ringside girls. It was to hype up the fighters even more. It's also why in football cheerleaders are used. It's psychological strategy. Problem is though they should never be the main goal, ever. Because if you do that then when you achieve your goals, it won't feel like your process and journey belonged to you, but to others. And this makes you feel mentally 'faceless' lacking in identity or feelings 'empty'This can be corrected by practicing the act of choosing something for yourself and doing it for you. Pick up a new skill or hobby or see a new place in life, but do it for you this time. Even if you don't know or get along with yourself that well, do it anyway and especially for that reason. And you will find the emptiness will slowly fade over a process.
>>34460253>>34460197Oh and even though you had made other people (the girls and their attention) the main goal, this does not cancel out your efforts or erase your progress or cheapen your hard work you had done one bit. Because reality is: You were in bad shape before, and you are much better off now. Still got work to do? Yeah but who hasn't. But fact remains the reason you went from a zero to what you are now was because of (you). You did that, that was all you. That was your hard work and your efforts, it didn't happen by magic, you actually got your shit together a good deal. Well done.
>>34460197>Posting on r9k instead of just lurkingLLurk moar and only post if you got your shit togeth (or once in a blue moon)>top rated blue archive playerIsn't that some gay gacha slop shit, not an achievement. Pick a real game with mechanics or foff
>>34460197Hey anon, can you share what helped you specifically in your therapy phase to become successful with women and in general? I'm pretty much in the same boat as you used to be and considering starting therapy as well
