I can't even talk to random store clerks without freaking out. I'm 19 by the way hahaha kill meI don't want to self diagnose but sometimes I wonder if I have AVPD. Socializing is just too humiliating. Even through the internet.
>>34461604what do you mean? you were isolated since 8 years old?
>>34461616Yes. I wasn't allowed to go to school
>>34461632sucks to be a sucker :Pno idea
>>34461652Thank you for the input rich faggot, very enlighteningi'll probably get therapy or something..
>>34461655yeah, but you shouldn't put your eggs in one casket; you shouldn't expect it to be the sole solution. if i was you, i couldn't handle another disappointment.
>>34461668*basket, it's my subconscious again
>>34461604Haha I'm in the same boat OP. Perhaps we can figure it out together :v
>>34461604>social skillsGet a customer service job, you'll be forced to. Worked for me (autist).>friendsNot hard to make online friends, hit up >>>/soc/ or 'cord or whateverWant irl friends? Talk to your coworkers/classmates
>>34462514it depends on what sort of shithole they live in, service jobs can be hell
>>34462514>Get a customer service job, you'll be forced to. Worked for me (autist).I'm considering it, do they contract someone on their 30s that have 0 experience?>Not hard to make online friends, hit up >>>/soc/ or 'cord or whateverfor real? the times I was there the threads were almost all for gooning
>>34462527fast food seems like a job that doesn't pay with money but with "experiencebut i think going to some kind of club (chess or whatever) would be better for that
>>34462527>do they contract someone on their 30s that have 0 experience?Probably not unless they're desperate like the place that hired me. You can put down fake experience to try and cheese your way in.
>>34461655Dude.I've been asking the same thing for weeks, months now. Nobody has an answer. I will save you therapy money.Therapists will dig the shit of your family, friends and everyone that was supposed to help you. You will feel like shit over things you can't help. They will tell you to "get over it" some way or another. They'll tell you be yourself, shoot your shot, stop caring about what people think, try over and over until by trial and error you land a wife. Of course this implies wave after wave of failure and feeling like shit, to what they will tell you to toughen up, and teach you brainwashing techniques to resign to failure, the goal being, becoming a minimally functional member of society.What you ask is more in the realm of pediatrics-linguistics-sociology. The next best place to ask I think it's either a life-coach, an autism association, a clown workshop or a sales seminar.If you ever find the answer, make a thread.
>>34461604I've never been as bad as you I think, but I used to be super awkward and struggled to be social until I was like 22 so maybe this will help.I remember going to a music show and being like "fuck it I'm just gonna walk into this group of people talking in a circle smoking cigs and see what happens". I just walked up and was like "hey I don't know anybody I'm just joining though lol" and they all just kinda got quiet for a sec and went back to what they were talking about, totally ignored me. Felt bad but I thought about it for a second and was like, ya know what? What I said wasn't weird at all, these guys are all fucking weird for not being friendly. I started just responding to whatever they were saying to each other as if I was included and eventually ended up actually talking to them. I had a random boost of confidence just deciding that these people were also too awkward to know how to handle my approach.So pretty much, I just pretended I had confidence and it straight up worked. I know you've probably heard it 100 times before, but it really was "fake it til you make it" for me. Years later now I'm super confident and can talk to whoever. From this new perspective it's really easy to see that most people actually are just as awkward and self-conscious as I used to be. A lot of people put on a "cool guy" persona to deal with it and it works for them, people actually think they're a cool guy cuz of that. Most people are alone and nervous and find some front to put up socially to get through it.Maybe find an event you can go to that's kinda far from where you live to try it, that way even if you blow it and get embarrassed you probably won't see them ever again.
>>34462560That's one of those things that only work when you're this or that age. It "works" again when you're like 60. By the time you're 30 life is clamping down on you with pressure to get a wife, pressure to hold a job, your savings running out, your occupational fate narrowing down etc.
>>34462566yeah for sure, OP said they're 19 so they're the right age for it though. I'll still just walk up and chat with random ppl and I'm in my mid 30s but I'm in a big city where there's a lot of events and shit and plenty of people who haven't gotten into the married/do nothing stage
>>34462584I guess you're right. Guess my biggest problem is my brain is fried and I don't see anything as fun anymore, being tainted with loneliness and stress. On shit days my mind really goes blank, I need to learn the skill to smalltalk people during rain and thunder.
>>34462598yeah I feel that desu. I used to be able to just chill on the computer for my entire life but it's become pretty unstimulating for me. Like I said I'm in my mid 30s so everything I liked about being online is kinda gone, most shit is just social media now and I'm sick of it, shit is frying me.I started just reading books a few months ago as an alternative way to waste my time and it's honestly been great. Had to fight through the attention span for a while but now I'm locked in. Obv doesn't help with social skills but might help with nothing being fun anymore
>>34462598>>34462605I'm the same, I'm on my 30s too. When I was on my 20s I didn't care that much that I was locked on my room with 0 contact with the outside world. But now I don't like anything that you can do on the computer, I just do because the alternative is to look at the ceiling so I feel great pressure to leave this situation.I'll try to read a book, but I never read one for pure fun.
>>34462635hell yeah, hope it works out. If you can manage to get into books it's cool because there's a near infinite amount of them, so you'll never run out of shit.I don't know your taste at all, but I started with some easy to read newer shit, "my year of rest and relaxation" by moshfegh and "all fours" by miranda july. Both written by women with woman main characters, I know a lot of 4chan hates women lmao so maybe not your thing. Maybe something like Steinbeck's "the red pony" to start because it's super short and entertaining. Idk, old books are better no question but they can be a bit of a slog to get through if you're trying to fight your attention span. These recs are all "literary fiction" though so, if you're into sci-fi or fantasy there's an endless amount of those and might be a better place to start
>>34462692thanks for the recomendations, the only books I have read are non-fiction, I'll give a try
>>34461604Stumble. Get it wrong a lot. Get it right sometimes. Get better. "Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better".Samuel Beckett
>>34462527I was serious here >>34462495 OP. I'd like to talk to someone who was raised in similar circumstances as I and am currently catching up.
>>34462560This, you just have to start not giving a fuck. The wrong people will shut you down and that's okay because you don't want to be around them. The right people will be cool with you. Being in an appropriate venue that allows us to mingle with strangers is the key that we've lost. Going to clubs or concerts, becoming a regular at a bar so the bartenders know you etc goes a long way. Is there a small event happening nearby, like book or game releases etc‐ just go, and make it your goal to just casually mingle and join casual convos about whatever it is. Tell people you're picking up it up for your nephew or some shit if it isn't your interest, the goal is just to dip back into casual, short term interactions. Enthusiasm is contagious, and no one's going be upset to discuss what they're hyped about.It always seems strange at first, from the outside, but most people don't think twice about it for better or worse.
>>34461604You develop social skills the same way you due muscle: exercise. Literally start conversations with clerks. Particularly middle aged or older ones.Say "hello, how are you" and respond accordingly. Talk about generic small talk shit. Weather. Holidays. A new item at the grocery store.If people ask how you're doing say "I'm good, and you?" They'll prompt you most of the time. Remember that no one cares whether or not you do a good job.
>>34463727do*
>>34463727When you do exercise wrong you tear a ligament, you have to rest it for many months and work harder to catch up with atrophy, also the joint is weaker so you can never exert the same effort again. All could be avoided with proper guidance.And that proper guidance is what OP is asking and nobody is telling.
>>34464333So what do you do then? You pace yourself, anon. Hence, why I told him to start small talk with grocers. What do you possibly think he will do that will be as debilitating as tearing a ligament? At most he'll embarrass himself a little bit. He will survive.
>>34462514I'm a legit autist and working retail just made me burn the fuck out.
