so I'll cut straight to it.I'm noticing a lot of women seem to clock me as gay and now I'm hella confused as to if I've been missing something my whole life. This is not the first time these accusations have been leveled against me but its starting to get more consistent which is weeird.Now look, I have a softer voice, I'm built like a twink / skinny despite lifting for years (I do have lean mass just no bulk, and probably the finishing move- I'm also short (true barefoot 5 7, no lies). So I kinda get where the women are coming from...Combine this with a love of dance and self expression and talking a lot about everything, I'm probably not doing myself any favors. I also live in the redneck province of my country but in a fairly liberal city here so its still a little surprising.So does this mean to get marked as a straight guy, I just have to keep my mouth shut, grow a beard, gain like 10lbs of muscle and skip cardio cause who needs longevity anyway, test booster for a low voice, etc?Now I grew up in a religious conservative home - being gay was just never on the table or the cards for me and now I'm lowkey thinking - do these people know or see something that I don't? Could I be so closeted I register only as a heterosexual?I once had a girl sitting beside us and I was just talking to my homie and didn't even know the girl, and she deliberately called over her gay friend via text from somewhere else and just "introduced" him to the group and me specifically - like GAWDDAMN AM I GAY GANG?? WHAT DO I DO? STANLEY TUCCI HELP ME! Do I need to explore this???I've tried gay porn as like a double check - I've gotten it on to femboys and trans women but pure raw gay , just does nuthin lol , I think I'm attracted to feminine energy irrespective of the genitals, but i dont really know lol - porn is one thing IRL is another
No. No one else can define you but you. And she probably only did that to be shitty. Stop letting yourself get told who you are.
>>34463644Nah, like >>34463984 said, only you can say if you are or not, screw what the others think.
I would just do yourself a favor and work in an anecdote about a female crush you had at some point or some celebrity you were in love with as a teenager, to indirectly drive home that you're straight in an earlier stage. It is hard to say what exactly makes people's gaydar go off and if you live in a very conservative area it really could be as simple as not being a typical enough guy that just wants to watch sports, work on cars and drink beer or something. Probably some things factor in (like being soft-spoken, or having a certain natural ease chatting with women because you grew up with sisters) that you either literally can't change or would have to try to reinvent yourself for - all so some random stranger might not get the wrong impression? Isn't it their issue? Yeah I get that if you find a woman interesting you do not want there to be doubt but I think an anecdote like I mentioned or, if you dare, looking at her in a way that lets her feel you find her attractive right at that moment, will be more effective than any change you try to make in style or demeanor.
>>34464017>>34463984I totally agree and if it was a one off I wouldn't stress it. But I've really been reflecting and this undertone has existed for a long time in my life - I've lived as a straight guy for the last 25 years but people have been insuinating I am gay since my teens - close friends, my mom even asked me if I was once, girls in public, gay dudes lol I'm still a KHV because honestly women are fucking mean AF and after a certain point I just began avoiding them too. So perhaps being offput by the opposite gender and getting no play + past experiences is creating a weird confusion inside me. Again the thought of playing with trannies dick actually kinda feels exciting now, so I'm feeling bi curious at minimum, ive even practiced some of the flamboyant mannerisms of the gays and it lowkey felt kinda good
I've never had a particularly effeminate persona but one thing that has happened to me in my young adulthood is that the women around me realized early on what took me a long time to realize, which is that my interest in sex was much lower than I thought it wasAround 20 years old I had a gay crush which gave me some bad cognitive dissonance because I (still) see homosexuality as an illnessNowadays I know that there are some lifestyle changes that I can make to decrease my interest in gay sex and increase my interest in sex with women, like abstaining from pornI'm still gayer than most men but I've come to accept it as something personal. I am just admitting to it here for the sake of giving you some perspective
>>34463644I have had the homosexual allegations in the past based upon my voice, but its mostly because the way I talked was really lazy and with a very laid back cadence, and also due to my posture being fucked. To resolve it I fixed my posture, and spoke from the diaphragm as opposed to I guess my throat, and I also had to do a thing where you put a pen in between your teeth and try to read out loud, and it helps you enunciate words better. I also didn't have any homosexual ideas like you though.
>>34468306im gonna try this thanks , I have the same problems (minus homosexual thoughts lol)>>34468276>'m still gayer than most menhow so? Thanks for your admission and perspective btw, makes me realize there's others struggling with it.
>>34468974I should thank you, I don't often get an opportunity to talk about it.>how so?I still have a lot of gay fantasies but also more straight fantasies than at the time of my gay crush.When I was younger I simply assumed that I was straight while women would clock me as gay.But like the other anons said, don't let others make you doubt yourself. You're the only one who can really know your sexuality. And from experience I can tell you that knowing yourself makes you more relaxed because then how others perceive you holds less weight.
