I have a fetish for being used sexually.I might've gotten it from my first crush ages ago, who'd just use me to get off but had no feelings for me, but idk if it was there before..Thing is, a part of me also wants to love and be loved, but my dick wants a girl that has no feelings for me.Feel at odds with myself. I'm seeing someone who's giving me just that and she's great but I just want to get rid of this fucking fetish so I can have a normal relationship
>>34463745fetish & relationship should be two mostly different things, anoni'm sick of these "muh dick" blogposts on /adv/but why do you feel like it's impeding a normal relationship? you can love someone who loves you back but also indulges the fetish can't you?
The first step is growing to understand this is not just a kink but also and probably primarily a coping mechanism. Think about it: being used is usually framed as depressing, but it can also be freeing in that if someone does not give a fuck about you, you are also free to not give a fuck about them and certainly not be vulnerable with them. It sounds to me like your dick wants someone you don't care about because something about caring about someone gives you feeling (fear, feeling suffocated, feeling not enough, whatever) that are deeply unsexy, not compatible with enjoying your sexual side. It is a long(ish) term process but if this is the case, you fix that by understanding more of what exactly you feel and why, deliberately question some of the assumptions or fears you encounter. You have to understand what you're working with in order to influence it actively. This is what you would be doing in therapy, but it is possible to get very far with self-reflection and tools like books, podcasts etc.
>>34463745Plenty of kinky people are in happy, loving relationships with people with compatible kinks. They're not mutually exclusive.
>>34463745Some people will tell you that you can love and have the fetish and indulge it at the same time. You can, by the way. Whether it's a good idea or not long term is what you wanna consider. If you've picked up a fetish from a stressful or fucked up part of your past, that's called "baggage". And if you want a healthy relationship, baggage needs to be left at the door.
