Going to try and keep this brief.I lead a good life and have reached many milestones, and I have become a person who I am very proud to be. What would normally be an amazing thing to proclaim for most people, is for me a source of utter despair. While in the present moment, it is fantastic, it becomes horrifying when I remember that I will not always be me forever - I will eventually die, reducing all my efforts in life to nothing. My mental response to this realization has been total apathy, through instinct I just law down my arms and stop caring about everything altogether because it's temporary.It feels like driving a rented car, you can't get too attached because you have to return it eventually. I'm pretty agnostic about what happens after death and shit like that but in general I live as if it's the only one life I've got.But as a result of everything being finite I just don't care or invest in anything whatsoever.At the moment I'm very detached, usually with detachment comes a level of peace but I just feel like I've been robbed and I'm inhibited completely from enjoying anything. I know this is pretty much on the level of Baby's first reality check but god damn.
>>34467145You must achieve true apathy by becoming apathetic for your apathy. You are only half of the way there.
>>34467145think about your legacy and how you can influence the future for many years
I met a traveller from an antique land,Who said—“Two vast and trunkless legs of stoneStand in the desert. . . . Near them, on the sand,Half sunk a shattered visage lies, whose frown,And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,Tell that its sculptor well those passions readWhich yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,The hand that mocked them, and the heart that fed;And on the pedestal, these words appear:My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!"Nothing beside remains. Round the decayOf that colossal Wreck, boundless and bareThe lone and level sands stretch far away.
>>34467145it takes many lifetimes to do anything of great significance, but eventually plans do reach fruition. if they don't reach fruition in your lifetime, there isn't anything you can do about it.https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FgxacX72snA
>>34470003And then realize that shit doesnt matter and the world will be just the same without you. To wallow on that is just narcissism
>>34470411that's defeatist, you should always nurture the goodness of the world
>>34467145When you become a man with nothing to lose, you will not care.When you become a man with something to lose, you will care, and it will hurt. This hypervigilance against loss grief and death is necessary in order to be a man capable of protecting that which he cares about. If you didn't fear the potential loss or destruction of that or those you love, you would not care to be their sword and shield. Such is the way of masculinity nigga. That's a man's lot in life, and it is a thankless task but still worthwhile. The alternative is to suffer for nothing. Suffering will always meet you, just make sure it's for something and not for nothing. Because the former means you die with dignity at the end. The other means you die kicking and screaming, demented with the realisation that you had been a man who never lived a single day.
>>34467145>>At the moment I'm very detached, usually with detachment comes a level of peace but I just feel like I've been robbed and I'm inhibited completely from enjoying anything.You aren't letting yourself be vulnerable enough to indulge in your emotions.
>>34467145You are just like meI'm so extremely afraid of death that I think about killing myself, i know it doesn't make sense but I know you'll understand
>>34472709Indeed, it's basically what I just described. It's easier said than done because I'm just one of those people who emotionally withdraw from things as a way of preventing disappointment. It's a very neurotic habit I am trying to kick.>>34472726Yep. I often feel like skipping straight to the point to get it over with. The greatest downside to things having value is the fear of losing it, it's almost paralyzing. I've been able to cope by just realizing that these are the conditions of life, and are a natural consequence of meaning arising at all in this seemingly indifferent universe. I guess the irony ought to be embraced.
>>34467145yag sbarro....
