God, I want a girlfriend. And probably also friends again. I want to be in a happy lively comfy room with people that like/love me. Maybe one day again. Maybe.

>Customer might have reported them since I told them they could if they really hated it
Well, with everything that's happening this week, it's going to be interesting.

You know how, when you're wearing a long sleeve shirt and want to pull a jumper (sweater?) over it, how you have to hold the ends of your sleeves in your palms while you pull the jumper over you so your shirt sleeves don't get all jumbled up inside the jumper sleeves?
Every fucking time I do that shit I have flashbacks to being sexually abused, because my discovery of this hack (since no parent bothered to teach me) happened around the same time
So that's a lovely thing for me to bring into every autumn/winter for the rest of my life
idk if that makes sense, I'm drunk and tired, I don't fucking care, I wish I was a different fucking person

Left my soulmate for someone else because she didn't want to have children with me. I was with her for 7 years, and she kept delaying and making excuses. Breaking with her was extremely hard, we had so much in common, but I am growing old and I want to have a family. My new girlfriend of 6 months is now pregnant, even though I still am not as happy with her like I used to be with my ex, we have different personalities and interests, but she seems happy with me and establishing a family is most important to me, I will push through this

Happy birthday, I miss you so much and I hope we can reconnect in the future

I miss when forms were made out of paper and things existed in 3d space.

I’m trying to start a new job, and my boss emailed the payroll paperwork in tiny jpegs I can’t read, and told me I could print it out at the library myself, or just screenshot it and email it back to him signed somehow? It’s mostly illegible and I think he sent me like three pages that don’t even have to do with me. This is a minimum wage part time job I thought’d be cute to pick up a few extra hours for on my days off, this is kinda bullshit.

>>34471393
Sounds like your son or daughter is your real soul mate.

>>34471583
A soulmate shouldn’t have to be somebody you fuck.

>>34471393
I'd just let the girl decide if or how many kids we have. I regret leaving one too.

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its a 50 / 50 on if i turn up to work on wednesday or just fucking kill myself for real.
done with this fuckin world man.
obviously i wouldn't hurt anyone else but people who can't understand why other's DO extinguish themselves must live in a cotton candy castle on the moon or something.
life is just cascading failure.

I wonder if she’ll want to hold my hand when I see her next.

>>34471087
scared to die one day and have all this mean nothing, trying to live life well but anxiety stops me. the idea that one day none of this will mean nothing is making it hard to care about anything

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why is it every single time

sometimes it's just good to say less

How do I divorce my wife if she keeps telling me no or refuses to discuss it? She wants to try couples counseling for a fourth time. I don’t want to hurt her. But how do I leave?

I threw out an entire box of memories and pictures of me. At frist it felt a bit hard, but then it made me ask "why the fuck did my mom give me all of this, she doesn't have a single picture of her kids any where in her house" which kind of makes it worse but in a different sense.

>>34471722
Why would you do that.

Holy shit I wish this IP range block was gone

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>>34471707
Literally older generations just sacrificed us.

>>34471720
go out for milk

>>34471725
It's all pictures of me from a childhood I hated. Why would I keep it? I'm not going to talk to those people ever again, and I'm not going to put up pictures of myself from when I was a kid in my house. It's a box of "I love my mom and dad" when my dad disowned me years ago and my mom only talks to me to keep up appearances to not be part of the estranged parents group. It's all garbage.

Do you miss who you used to be?

What a surprise, you're being a stressy piece of shit. I knew it would be a bad idea to do this. Think you can forget about me ever taking you abroad, even when he's older. You'll just ruin it, as you are ruining this holiday already.

>>34471753
Yea

>>34471720
Talk to a lawyer?

>>34471780
Who was that

Having been an unlovable chud all my life I can say I don't hate women, but I'm happier not trying.

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>>34471731
it's been happening for hundreds of years

I get cucked so much I tried making myself develop a kink for it but it didn't work. This sucks but probably is a good sign somehow if I'm that averse to it I guess.

>>34471862
What's the kink?

>>34471733
do lawyers have milk

for real though any advice

>>34471720
You just have to file for divorce then. Try to be kind and caring and nice about it or she will 9/11 both of your finances out of spite.

>>34472085
Ask your parents or maybe even her parents for some advice.
I’ve never been in your shoes, but I would think you just need to talk to a lawyer and serve her some divorce papers if you’ve already tried counseling three times to no avail and earnestly want to leave.

I really wanna date a loser guy but I'm worried I'll end up being his crazy ex. Soooo many guys want a crazy bitch until she actually goes crazy and it's super fucking annoying. I dated a girl back in high school and even though SHE was the crazy one I lost a friend over it because she called me the crazy ex. I've been scared to date ever since

>>34472085
you can still divorce even if your spouse doesn't consent in the US. you can initiate it in court yourself. usually if they won't respond to court papers it becomes a default divorce which means they lose the right to contest decisions on property, debt, child custody etc. best case scenario she refuses the whole way through so you have all the final say on things. look up the laws in your state

>>34472157
What kind of crazy are you? Does being loved make you feel manic and euphoria because you are not used to it? That used to happen to me.

I MISS MY CRUSH SO MUCH AND IT'S ONLY BEEN TWO DAYS FUUUUUUCK

I've make a promise to myself to respect his space and leave it at least a week or better yet two before I check in to see how he's doing but IT IS SO FUCKING DIFFICULT AAAAAA I just want to fly over to cuddle him and make it all better...

>>34471753
Most of it.

>>34472178
Lmfao

>>34472170
Last time I fell for a guy and stalked his family in social media. I'd want to spend my free time texting him and I'd often spiral when he didn't reply (which was often) even if I was enjoying a conversation I'd shut down when he brought up a new friend or something and just have automated-like responses to him instead of the usual paragraph rants. He stopped texting me about a year ago even though I asked him to save my number in case he forgot. He moved away and so I have no way to contact him. I've tried to move on but everytime I think of dating someone else the new person essentially becomes a stand in for him. It's really annoying sometimes.

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>>34472178
Yeah well if you ever need an annoying guy out of your toolbox of men who would easily love you I'm there.

I'm sure with the fact that I'm strong and tall and appreciate you you'll in no time feel confident enough to go with the guy who contrasts me because you'll soon say I can do better. :P

>>34471386
Try not being able to see a certain time on the clock and somehow seeing it every fucking day without fail

it's almost 2 months since my longterm gf broke up with me. i'm not sad anymore or anything. but i still kind of miss her. just a general sense of yearning
oh well

i've always been mature and levelheaded in my relationships. when i got dumped/had to leave i always did it with my head held high even if i cried for months in private. i've been told my moves are classy and people always respect me for that, even my exes, BUT i kinda wish just once i could have a crazy toxic relationship. i could go crazy when i felt crazy and tear into them about how much they sucked and how hurt i was. i'd scream and hurl insults and do petty stuff to get back at them. the thing is i FEEL as crazy and hurt and angry as the people who do stuff like that, i just have the restraint. it must feel so good to let loose like that. and idk, maybe if you're able to call them an ugly broke loser you settled for and they can forgive you after maybe that creates deeper intimacy as well. i see the appeal of that kind of relationship now

>>34472193
Yeah. Maybe realize that there are better or equal but different people out there and they could be your person and you should be excited about them. Additionally, try CBT or something. It seems like you are becoming a lot more self-aware about this. Fill up your life with things so that you ACTUALLY have to make room for the people you care about rather than constantly needing their attention. Also, I talk to Claude to gain more self-awareness and advice.

Tell Claude
Rule: Don't lie to me to make me feel better or worse
Rule: Use facts, reason, logic, neuroscience, psychology etc.
Rule: Never speak in poetry, metaphors, etc.

That ex wasn't your person.They might not even been your best fling if you keep dating. You have to date at least 8 people to start getting a feeling for who is right for you. The best one after 8 is a keeper. Feel free to keep getting it off your chest THO.

>>34472228
Maybe you just need to enjoy the little things in life.

>>34472221
Takes about three months to create new normals. You can CHANGE most anything about yourself within the human scope. Honestly, you could probably even become... No Longer Human...

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Sometimes in this world when losing a loved, sometimes, even a Devil May Cry.

>>34472192
FUCK YOU MAN, IT HURT. I MISS HIM SO MUCH. It's not his fault but it still feels bad

I am sensitive.

>>34472239
Wouldn't dating 8 people make me a who're though? I don't really like the idea of that

Part of me doesn't wanna date you, you pushed and pulled so many times.
This time you flirted so hard in a sexual way then said you wanted to take it slow, and now you're acting cold again, I'm sick of this.

>>34472288
No!(In my culture[But also if you meet someone before then that feels right stick with it]).

>>34472278
I apologize. It'll be okay just call him.

>>34472200
I can't crush on more than one person at a time, sorry

>>34472282
Try feeling less like you're in a movie like Texas Chainsaw Massacre with people like me, and learn people want to lay back and enjoy being around people and just simply have a decent time relaxing. No real thought to it. Just laying back and having a good time.

>>34472301
Cool.

i know you are bad for me. i know this is bad. you and i both know i'm tolerating things i shouldn't. something i don't want to admit to you is i'm using you as a way to cut off my ability to love for good. it's working

>>34472298
Apology accepted. I can't yet, I need to be strong and resist the temptation or I'd be adding to his stress and overwhelm. Need to wait at least a week or two to give him the alone time he asked for

>>34472315
Well focus on you. Write in a notebook. Listen to uplifting music or watch funny videos

>>34472334
Yeah you're right, thanks

Dont die doing that

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I don't think I could reciprocate genuine love. I can't even imagine a scenario where someone is nice to me. I can't take seriously. When I start the train of thought the imaginary person immediately becomes crule.

People are nice to me in passing in the real world, at least platonically. It's just sterile. Anytime I try deeper it blows up in my face. It feels like everyone is just faking.

I want mutual love and mutual lust. I'm probably never going to get either.

>>34472630
May I add this Pepe to my collection Anon?

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>>34472690
Go ahead

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>>34472888
Thank you kind Anon. However I will not be taking the shot. Are you having a good time?

>>34472903
Not really.
I'm old.
I'm weird.
I'm alone.

Every sad post I see here I think it's you and it makes me want to reach out and tell you how much I like you but I don't think this is the case. I think I'm just looking for an excuse to bother you... I'm sorry I'm like this

I HATE WOMEN SO GOD DAMN MUCH. NIGGER

>>34473003
You wouldn't be bothering me.

>>34471753
Yeah I miss being a naive kid

Everyone has an extremely powerful tool at their disposal for getting whatever you want. Most don’t even know how to use it, except for a few tasks. This tool is your imagination and your focus. Imagine yourself doing something that you desire. Make it as realistic as possible. Imagine living in your dream world and being your dream version of yourself. This imagining alone will change how you feel right now and changing how you feel will pull you closer towards your dreams. When you feel like you already have what you want life will give you unexpected gifts.

My moon,

Really interesting that once the proof of c larping as me to harm us is posted the thread disappears

https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/84442660/#84442660

Check the end

-the sun

>>34473026
Sounds like a personal issue. If that's how you're gonna act I can see why they don't enjoy your presence. Calling it revolting would be a compliment.

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I was going to trauma dump in this post, I wanted to do that because something happened to me that's eating me alive. But even when I try to type it out, it feels like my keys are made of razor blades. Three sentences, all of which are just explaining how A got to B, and it was too much.

I hate childhood trauma man. It's not enough that I was traumatized; now I have it locked in my gut and it sits in there like acid. I can't release it. Not to my therapist, not anonymously to strangers. It's eating me alive but I can't let it out.

I've said it once and I'll say it again, the AI "bubble" is cope. AI is here to stay whether we like it or not, and OP's slop confirms that.

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>>34473259
>not anonymously to strangers
Why not?

>>34473294
"The bubble" is that it's going to replace all workers, not the slop production. The slop doesn't make money, it's just another scamming tool against boomers.

I haven't given up on you. I've never given up on you and I never will.

Jesus Christ please just give up on me already

>>34473302
it's so painful to talk about. I can barely get through it at all. I feel like I died in that room.

>>34473419
That wasn't me. I would give you exactly what you say you want.

>>34473003
It actually is me. I'm just trying hard not to reveal that it is me because I'm scared but secretly I'm hoping you would tell me

>>34473305
Like I said, AI is here to stay. When people talk about the "bubble" bursting, they're almost always hoping that AI will go away.

just rubbed my clit out to you. don't talk to me ever again btw

I be like "Como se llama, lil mama? Me llamo 'Jay', what is your name?"

I'm about to just go on a hiatus. Last time it was hard, this time I have Touched by An Angel.

>>34473431
Just tell me to fuck off if you don't want to hear from me.

*ghosts you*

You walked into my trap. Now I know it was you all along, and now I'm definitely not interested.

yes i know i've been ghosting you but that doesn't mean i'm not reading your messages. from the stuff you've been saying i think you never loved me after all. you "love" me because what? because you were bored and needed this plot line for your life. you miss me only because i was your main source of entertainment. you just miss that you had someone to talk to every day. you only even like me for the distraction and dopamine i give you. what is there underneath that? and i tried really hard to make you love me for real too. even now i have trouble letting go, i know i should stop reading what you write but part of me still holds onto that little bit of hope that you could prove you care in a real way. i miss you and want to talk to you but i'm staying away for my own good. i'm going to try to resist looking at what you write for longer, because right now i compulsively check every two hours or so. the way i see it one of three things will happen:

1. you write the right thing and i come back
2. i go long enough without checking that i stop doing it altogether and leave you behind for good
3. you stop writing to me and move on, so i move on

>>34473419
I'll take my moon in every way i need and it will be perfect to her desires naturally
-Sun

>>34473482
I've done enough moon
Wake up to me or slip into our dream, my arms and with my touch you always dream about, rough physical strong
-sun

>"sometimes i wonder if i'm an evil manipulative lying piece of shit who only pretends to be nice to get approval and validation. but then other times i think i am a decent person because i really do care and try to help and---"

no no you got it right the first time actually

>"sometimes i wonder if it's best if i just fuck off and leave everyone alone forever and never interact with people again. but other times i think i can find happiness in other people and perhaps, just perhaps, even someone like me deserves love too"

it's the former

"sometimes i think you hate me and want me dead. then other times i think you really care about me"

it's option A you ruminating ass faggot

>>34473518
Prince of darkness level of sexiness here. Very BDSM.

posting here is so much better with the namefag blocking extension

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I actually made it to being a 30 year old virgin female. I was joking about becoming a wizard, but I seriously made it.

>>34473527
I have Anonymous blocked

>>34473522
Tell that to him

>>34473528
wild, i saw a few women like that back when i was on dating sites

wrt the attractive ones, i still think they're lying, unless they're like turbo autistic and asexual or something, but then why would they be on a dating site

>>34473528
Same
>>34473533
I'm horny af and not autistic despite how I seem on here. I'm just unlucky in love

>>34473456
>>34473431
That's creepy

>>34473538
>I'm just unlucky in love
same

vocel until i meet a woman that doesn't want equal rights

>>34473528
i'm a 29 yo khhv woman. my plan since i was like 20 was if i turn 30 and can't get any i will just pay for it

>>34471087
I want you so bad it's actually crazy but somehow I always push you away. U r so calculating it kinda scares me cause I am afraid I won't know the real you. I think it's strange you strategize so much to get me when you had me the start. I miss you and wish I was with you even you were cold to me today. I guess I am just afraid you'll break me. Thank you for caring.

i actually want to buy an escort to use as an escort. like make him take me on dates and stuff like a real boyfriend would. sometimes i see guys on here post about how they visit escorts and then still feel lonely because it was just sex and they wanted someone to cuddle. i think ?, why didn't they just pay the escort for that? men are stupid af

>>34473514
>>34473518
>>34473518
Nah, I don't change the truth based in your larps.

i've considered being a male escort, i definitely could, but then it'd be too tempting to not just be a prostitute

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Reminder to the anons struggling out there

/gioyc/ has been freaking me out lately

Fuck off

Its gonna be alright

it's over

>>34473533
>why would they be on a dating site
everyone on a dating site is turbo autistic

I have a strict rule about no second text without a reply. I'm thinking about breaking it just to see if my ex actually killed herself like she kept saying she was going to do.

everyone you know hates you btw. they all look down on you behind your back. none of your "friends" respect you at all. they're douchebags just like you too but you know what they say birds of a feather

>>34473558
MM,
I'm breakimg your mind and body completely. I'll stretch you so fucking good,shaping you perfectly to pleasure and take care of my needs every day. I am ruining you for anyone else because after feeling how fucking thick I am in you, you will not be able to feel pleasure with anyone but me. I make you cum so hard and for so long you'll cry collapsing face down looking into the amethyst you gave me as I dick you down until you develop a limp and have trouble walking from then on. everything will click and you'll cry to me, so thankful you are home
-mm

>>34473213
Did C contact J recently?

I'm really sorry if you are mad at me. I know I kinda deserve it. Idk what I'm supposed to do to make you forgive me

>>34473533
I'm not even a loser or shut in or anything.

I blame my apsergers, I have been attracted to 5 men in my entire life. They all look drastically different, from face, to hair, to height.

>>34473538
>I'm just unlucky in love
Same. There's also been a rise of sugar mommies; I've seen countless low earning men (one of which I had a crush on) be married to ugly/mid woman who earns 2-3x their salaries. I'm grinding careerism so I don't lose to those women.

>>34473547
It probably isn't worth paying for. Just make sure you're living your life girl.

>>34473616
>I've seen countless low earning men (one of which I had a crush on) be married to ugly/mid woman who earns 2-3x their salaries. I'm grinding careerism so I don't lose to those women.
Same

lol effeminate men employing this strategy are doomed to misery

>>34473624
What strategy

>>34473644
getting married to a sugar mommy

and sugar mommies are also doomed to misery

just read the bible, go to church, and lift

>>34471700
>the idea that one day none of this will mean nothing
who told you that

things you do in this life does matter hell is real and you will burn there for all of eternity

Even a worm will turn. Just you wait and see

>>34471471
Initial?

>>34473652
Dude no it isn't. Okay. Do you have any idea how much I have improved over all these years because I tried to date a hot girl in my age group. I have literally turned being autistic to being normal while still being extremely autistic. And like oh what if you were 27 dating an 18 year old girl... TOO DAMN EASY.

>>34473707
Stop saying creepy religious stuff c. It's fucking weird and taking about work is fucking creepy.

i'm not talking to you until you go back on your meds

>>34473728
>anon associates Christianity with creepy pastor Charlie
Anon, Christianity is therapeutic. Yeah he sounds like some ginger 55 year old single short guy with aviator glasses with tan trousers on and a dorky dress shirt and a bald head with hair on the sides and a moustache snarling and talking about Jesus in an embarassingly somewhat high pitch voice, but God can save you and will be there for you even when you are in trouble. I'd rather take the risk being seen as a door to door mormon book selling homo if it meant God is going to save my life. Now if you don't mind he is gonna get me again for judging people which I had to do to speak your street language.

How do you truly let go? Just erase everything that reminds you of them?
I would feel like I have nothing more left if I did that. But I have to move on. Everyone tells me so.

>>34473618
How do we cope?

I'm being gangstalked LOL

I stay through the storm despite all his narc bullshit thread because I love her and will never give up on her.

>>34473765
Yes I know c is stalking me. Everything he does with his larps and impersonations is fucking creepy

fuck you and fuck her too. two shitty people who deserve to rot in hell together

>>34473771
>impersonations
That is literally what I'm talking about. People are pretending to be me in this thread right now and it's making me paranoid

Creepy

>>34473776
If you are c then nah, not falling for your narc lies after you larping as me for 5 years harrassing me and her ,being a fucking creep larping as me across multiple boards

https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/84442660/#q84446099

If you are not him then I'm sorry that c is doing that to you.

my adhd has gotten so worse to the point im bored of caring for myself and i cant concentrate anymore lole

I left you a long message just now

>>34473785
I'm not C. Who is C?
>larping as me across multiple boards
I think they are doing this to me too

>>34473482
Please read my message when you are able to
>>34473744
Ok I just took them

>>34473793
I'm sorry to hear that. He tormented a friend of mine and made her mentally ill. Convinced her and chased her here from all different directions that she was being watched through has device , strangers eyes. He took what she wrote and would use that to ascertain certain things that when right and written in her vicinity causes her to develop some really bad issues. She couldn't even use to the bathroom without thinking someone is watching. He also causes her to stray from God and stop praying. She was tormented.

He did something similar to my girl and I'm saving her now. He will be gone from both our lives.

Please be careful who you add on here. He will also catfish you on discord to gain information to use to manipulate those you care about and harass you.

His name is Colton. That should be enough for you to run if you find out you are talking to him.

I miss my cat...We had to put him down two weeks ago and it still doesn't feel real. He was there for a third of my life and now he's not. It's very lonely now without him.
I'm still glad I could spend the last night with me sleeping next to him with his weak breathing forcing a purr just to say thank you in his own way, but I hate myself for not staying up when they took him to the vet and they put him to his final sleep. I wish I couldve been there for him that time. He must've felt so alone in that moment...but I'm coping by telling myself that he's in a better place now and not suffering anymore.
I still miss him.

>>34473817
He's in kitty heaven now

trying to love someone with bipolar/schizo sucks

>>34473809
Oh wow. I'm kinda freaking out a little rn

>>34473829
Why? What did she/he do?

>>34473831
He caused my girl to develop mental issues too. Makes me feel like shit because she would of been happy and completely fulfilled with love and Iust. She needs to figure out that I'm fucking amazing at the second part, but in time she will soon enough.

She never would of have developed mental illness if he hadn't tricked her by impersonating me to manipulate her away from our love.

It's been 5 years and I made promises to her. I kept all of them. I truly love her and she is my soulmate. This is the next step. No matter what he will be gone from our lives forever.

>>34473837
he has paranoid delusions where he thinks i'm secretly fucking with him via internet/4chan posts. he threatens to hurt me, go to police, break up etc. there's nothing really i can do to convince him it wasn't me plus it really doesn't feel good to be accused of doing something i didn't do. makes me feel like shit actually. it's wearing me down

I'm going to snap.

>>34473870
Hm, nona, you might want to just ask him to stay away from 4chan/internet for a while, and honestly its going to be hard, but keep a slight distance from him until her calms down yet keep tabs on him regularly so that he doesn't go insane or do something stupid. Its going to be hard, and its a tough decision, but you have to put all your worries about him in a box when he gets deluded about reality, and only take those feelings out at regular, short intervals and engage with him from time to time just to check that he's alive.

He should be aware that at this time, he's in a spiral and he can't trust himself. And he would be destructive to everyome around him, including you. So you need to save yourself so that you can save him, and be able to breathe. Take care nona.

> t. bipolar but level headed

>>34473870
Are you sure you're not comparing men of your past to him? I've had that happen with people who are unfamiliar with me. A lot of us autistic guys talk like we are from 2005. Like I get a bit confused at how interactions play out most of the time. It's like I'm too dumb to understand things that are easy, but when it is an asshole thing that is complicated I automatically understand that, and then when I humble myself I'm somehow feminine? I hate to say this, but the current trends of how communication work is extremely confusing to me. I'd rather try to communicate in plain English.

Man, people are confusing.

If that's Colton then I don't have any sympathy for that narc and how he harmed others

>>34473870
Break up. He is clearly mentally ill and needs to be admitted to a care center for help.

>>34473870
It is interesting the framing of this narrative in an attempt to offset what Colton has done.

I don't buy the larp. You same fagged as well to shape the narrative.

narc narc narc

larp larp larp

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One of these days the neurotypicals are gonna look in the mirror and be like oh I'm just a little crazy like the autistic people, and that is okay. And stop going on about people being secretly malicious.

She knows you larped to harm us Colton. It's over for you. She can see the posts and what you do. You're done.

don't call me i changed my number already. fuck off

>>34473967
Is this ragebait?

After being hospitalized on NYE for a week and a half w/ clots and needing surgery I haven't been back, which makes this the longest stretch of time I've haven't been admitted since I first got really sick in 2024. My current maintenance treatment is working much better than the previous ones but it wears off a bit too soon... saw my doctor yesterday, he said I looked like shit (but in nicer words) and is bumping it up from twice a month to once a week. Supposed to see a judge in a couple of months with a lawyer representing me about disability benefits and I'm truly hoping this time it goes through since I've been denied a couple of times already over the last two years despite being really royally fucked up and unable to even do a part time desk job. Birthday is in a week... think I'll treat myself to sushi and a slice of tiramisu (my favorite). Hope the rest of 2026 is better.

>>34473746
>Just erase everything that reminds you of them?
yep throw away every piece of memorabilia, change your number, change the lock, block on everything, delete all pics and messages and pretend he never existed. deleting the pics/messages is key. trust me

>>34471642
relax man.
have another cup of coffee.

it's over.

I'm still a bit upset about it. I gave you my whole heart, and I don't think I'll ever be able to do the same with anyone else ever again.
I tried this hard after all these years. I bought this land and planning to build a castle on it... All because I wanted to take care of you forever.


I'd tell you how I want to destroy, to ruin you beyond recognition so you can never love anyone but me again.

But hey, I guess I'm fine with it.
You seem happy with the kid. Even though he's just some... jobless tiktok-brained sad boy who tryna be an anime character in his 20s.
I guess I feel better about myself knowing you're fucking retarded.

The castle? I'd still build it. I'll name it Casa de Lyon.

You ever look at someone and wonder why? Why does someone like that even try to live?

When you think you're hungover and you sit in the weirdly bright bathroom waiting for the vomiting to stop but it just keeps getting worse and oh my god was that light always so bright and you question all the choices that brought you here and promise to never drink again and then you finally realise you've never been hungover on so few drinks and it was just a fucking migraine the entire time and you finally stop vomiting the moment you turn the light off and lie down

It was my birthday and only work through automated chat announcements said anything... i have no one in my corner

>>34474149
happy birthday anon. you should celebrate anyway

>>34474152
Its too late

Interesting to see when others repeat things from my letters using them for themselves
Mine
>>34473603
>I am ruining you for anyone else because after feeling how fucking thick I am in you, you will not be able to feel pleasure with anyone but me.

>>34474126
>how I want to destroy, to ruin you beyond recognition so you can never love anyone but me again.

>>34474162
M you plagiarize from me all the time

>>34474162
I didn't read the entire thread.
And also what I meant by "destroy" is much, much more depraved and violent than you describing your cock inside a pussy.

I guess that's a reason why she left me. It's understandable, but still.

Please let me know if you've seen my messages

*ignores you*

Just started a job for 2 weeks and now quitting without finding the next one first.
I'm convinced I made the right decision.
There's no other reasons why I would be feeling so bad & depressed going to work, and so relieved when I resigned.

women complain about how hard their jobs / lives are but they don't know they're on an easy mode

all men cheat

>>34474185
You know they are full of shit when they claim Stay At Home Mom is a harder job than actual job out there.

>>34474163
No I never do. You are narc projecting what you do. Buzz off.

>>34474174
I have not

>>34474173
Uh huh >>34474174
Sure lil buddy

>>34474174
Sorry miss click.

If to the sun , I do not see anyrhing

where's gary? gary would know what to do

>>34474190
I wouldn't. But there is no else as committed as I am
-sun

i just wish you'd try harder. i wish you'd choose me

some people just aren't worth choosing

I miss hearing your laughter. I am so alone

>>34474185
My ex would only ever complain about her job I only realized when she dumped me. Some people have nothing better than to become a ball of negativity.

Is it too late to change anything now? I promise I'll get it wrong on the next try, just one more chance please

>>34474252
>wrong
Aw fuck

Today feels eerie

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I'm going on unemployment soon. I've given up on love, on trust, and on other people overall. I don't understand people; all they do is want, want, and want some more. Never satisfied.

I've lived a helluva life. I've experienced more than most will in their entire lives. I almost feel content letting it all fall apart. I'm not a bad person, but being a bad person isn't a requirement for everything to go poorly for you. C'est la vie.

the 28th of april, recognize that date?

give up, just give up everything. abandon all hope. run away like you always have

if this shit is painful for you imagine how i feel. have you ever thought about how i felt?

Going down my contact list

B you're alright
CB kill yourself
CS kill yourself
E kill yourself
JW kill yourself
JZ you don't have to kill yourself. maybe just get hit by a car but live
M you're alright
N kill yourself
S kill yourself and burn in hell forever

I really really want you to fuck me up sexually. Like actual outright sadistic torture to which your only replies to my begging and pleading and protesting is laughter. I want to be your bitch, your pet, and I want you to break me further and further until I'm ruined for anyone else. Forever. I know you love me and don't want to hurt me but I really want and on some level need to be hurt because my maladaptive coping mechanisms make it so that I see being hurt as being loved. I don't know how to explain this to you in a manner that doesn't sound insane. I'm just glad you enjoy what we've done already and want to keep progressing further.

everything is so overwhelmingly insane, half of me is terrified and the other half is glad to be leaving.

>>34474313
What are you terrified of?

>>34474314
dying.
I've made up my mind i'm going to kill myself tomorrow or just run away from my life, either or.

I hope you read everything I wrote. I tried my best but please let me know if I need to make adjustments. I will never give up on us. I love you

>>34473531
She's on here all day spamming on every board

>>34473581
why

>>34474271
I feel it too.

>>34474129
No

please i am on my knees at this point. i don't know how else i can ask this of you. please show me some kindness and humanity. just this once. i won't ever ask you of this again. do i really mean nothing at all to you? all that time we spent together, all those nights i stayed up just to talk to you? i really took everything you told me to heart. you never did the same and i didn't care, all i wanted was a friend. someone to believe in. i forgave you over and over and over and over and over. can i ask for just this one thing from you? if you hate me just say it. tell me what you hate about me. tell me what you see that's so repulsive and low that you need to treat me this way. tell you just like hurting me for the fun of it and never saw me as a human being at any point in all of this. i just want you to admit all along you just saw me as a tool. i don't even mind. it wouldn't hurt to be that to you. but don't lie to me like this, don't treat me that way then toy with my heart like this on top of it. if you just wanted to use me just ask and i would say yes.

>>34474318
It's over with you c. You are rot. The worst person I've ever known. The harm you have done to me and others. You are a narc and just put on a face to lie some more. You'll say anything to decieve the other. You are shit.

i'd slit my wrists for you if you wanted. is that what you want? would that make me more useful to you?

>>34474338
No. Stop being gay.

>>34474149
Happy Birthday, Anonymous™

>>34473528
Go outside. You can be a little bit of a whore til like 6ish guys, but try to pick ACTUAL nice guys(that groom and try to look cool or whatever you like). Get a read on them.

i really don't mind if you just pretend at this point. it's okay. let's treat this as a larp. if you play your part i'll play mine

>>34474352
Stop with your cuck broken pair bonding. You are disgusting

>>34474354
Sick of lies. So done with your larping shit.

I wonder how different my life would be if you chose me over & over again.

Just started on this job 2 weeks ago.
But I sent the resignation letter today.

However, the Boss called me to reconsider my resignation and think about it during the 2 weeks notice period.
Although he's not counter offering to increase my salary or anything.

What does this even mean?
It's an employer market right now, and it's not that hard to hire someone!!

i'm not even gonna go into work today. i'm just not gonna go. i'm gonna buy some booze and shoot up in the woods. fuck this

>>34474387
hah me neither

don't shoot up tho

Fuck everyone and everything. I never want to feel anything ever again. Fucj off and die, leave me alone forever, kill yourself I don't care. I do not give a shit. Fuck dreams fuck love fuck sex fuck romance fuck family fuck promises. FUck off with your I want to show you things can be different bullshit faggot. You're just like everyoen else and you fucking know it. You act like you're better than them but you treat me the same. Like I'm fucking pond scum. Fucking drop the act! I HATE you. YOu ruined my life

You really really ruined my life. Tore my heart out and ripped it to pieces right in front of me. I gave you all I had. Sorry if it wasn't good enough

>>34474444
I love mew

I wish we could be together in another life. secretly I want this. In another life you would've chose me. You would know for sure you wanted to be with me and we could be together. i want thihs more than anything else in the world but i'll never admit it to you. Fuck you eat shit and die

I was a diehard Christian for decades until I realized it was all a farce. My thousands of prayers were meaningless because yahweh is a superstition, just like every other deity. I was talking to myself. No one is looking out for us. All we have is what is in front of us.

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>>34474464
oy vey

thank you for the wisdom, mr shekelberteinowitcz

>>34474467
Always amusing hearing this when Christianity is a spinoff of Judaism and the US is run by Christians who suck Israel's dick for free because they think it will make Jesus come back faster.
I forgot how dumb some people on this site are.

>>34474464
Just ask It how It's doin' from time to time

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>>34474474
*yawn*

learn the history

i'm a martin luther kind of Christian, not a scofield Christian

My moon,

I know a lot of the discomfort is in the silence and mispercievent pushed on each of us.

My heart is the same for you and you'll find that talking to me not here is so much better, just as it was.

In the 5 years I did not hook up irl with anyone. I talked with girls online every so often but would cut off before it for serious every time. The only dick pics sent are the same 2 that I posted online here at some point. I never did cam with anyone but this one girl I showed mine to help her anxiety. I didn't do anything sexual though.

My heart,
Sun

>>34474489
Most loyal man:

>>34474489
You anime niggas need Jesus

>>34474444
Fortune cookie says you will find the best man

>>34471087
I just a loving faithful gf who will hold me tight.

>>34474507
I'm right here babe

Fuck bitches get money

*avoids you*

>>34474010
happy birthday bro

>>34474498
I feel I did very well and always choose her everytime it came down to it.

>>34474501
I have him and grateful for him.

I regret making the fake text messages and things I said in reaction to c larping as her that one night.
MM understands me more than anyone else so she gets what I was going through, how I felt, and why I did what I did. She knows because we are the same.

You aren't even her

What is wrong with me. I think I am actually going insane

just got the worst news of my life

>>34474610
What?

Dating apps literally don’t work for old no life retards like me but how else am I supposed to meet women? I work from home

My internship is ending and I'm gonna miss all my coworkers so much. It's not even that we became friends or anything, it was just a great team and I loved working with everyone. They really appreciated having me there too.

>>34474642
I don't think that is available to you
>>34474647
That's good to hear anon

>>34474610
What?

I am beyond greatful to be alive, to have access to clean water and be able to feed my family. I am never sure If I will awake the next morning. It truly is the little things that breath life into this world.
Everyday I seek guidance from the lord, praise his name and honor with appreciation. The most valuable asset we can hold is compassion and understanding of one another. To see one anothers viewpoint and having genuine empathy. There maybe nothing we can do about someone else's situation but sometimes we all just need a hug and shoulder to cry on. Kindness goes a long way.

>>34474665
breathe*

I can barely get it up

>>34474692
me too

I prepare for you to ignore yet another of my messages that i will send soon.

*ignores you*

Don't ignore me.

>>34474610
It'll be okay anon

whores haunt me

>>34474628
>>34474650
>>34474727
love of my life just passed away. i wasn't there beside her when it happened. i'll never forgive myself for this

>>34474845
How did she die?

im sorry i got so jealous. i will try to control that.

*cheats on you*

>>34473663
nigga when you die theres nothing after it

I just feel so numb. I wish I could cry

>>34474906
pfft i fucking believe it

Thinking about she

its so over.

>>34474845
Yeah. That's pretty bad. Like she "loved you back" love of your life or...? Also there is nothing to forgive.

>>34471087
I am a bit confused regarding my career choices
Currently doing my masters in clinical psychology. I wanted to start another program in traumatology in another city so I can apply to this goverment job
But also, 8h is killing me so idk if Im just chasing a stupid dream
Could also become a school counselor, but working with middle/highschool kids would be a pain in the ass
There is also the option of doing another BA in education and become a kindergarden teacher, which would be the dream in terms of time/effort/enjoyment but idk the thought of going back to school for 3 years scares me, even though I plan to go to school for another 2 years from now for that other masters Im planing on doing
So what should I do?
I can also become a therapist for autistic children or become a speech therapist with my BA in psych
What do i do????
Do i have too much on my plate?

I had a dream last night that I was being screamed at by a pissed off British man in his 40s yelling at me the things said about me on 4chan. I just blankly looked at him confused in the dream.

>>34471087
Amber, without a shadow of doubt in my mind, if we got together when we did and we weren't an ocean apart, I would have without a doubt have gotten you pregnant within weeks at most.
I would have loved to have filled your perfect tight little Ginger innie pussy to the brim every single night and the following nine months.
It is unbelievable just how much I wanted you. Wanted to marry you, and you still fill me in some way with this feeling of being my soul mate.

I have moved on, but fuck, I cannot describe how much I would give to tear your clothes off and ravage you like a beast in heat.

I know shouldn't say more than I already have, but after you made me delete everything, there was one thing I made sure to keep Amber, and it was a drawing you made for me.
A valentine's gift,
"You pull at my heart strings"
And I still love it all the same, because you always pulled on mine as well.
That and the Jaden Yuki drawing you made for me.
I wish I was able to buy you Spirit Tracks!

Ought not to spend too much time in the past, or I will be trapped there, but back there I still find myself being glad for the time we spent together, maybe our tracks will converge again.

I know I'm in love with you but I don't know what to do about it. I'm just doing what I think feels right. Sorry if it comes out weird.

i hate my love life and my psyche. i should care less but i don't, i get myself into situations where i massively fuck up, i linger on for way to long and there is never anything good that comes out of it, it's always just pointless heartbreak and picking up the pieces over and over again. and on top of that i am often enough an idiot with regrets and i can't make them right.

Should I masturbate before my date so I think more clearly, or should I hold off all week so I'm extra horny?

>>34475605
I suggest you choose the option that doesn’t involve compulsive masturbation.

>>34473695
You really wish that on me, you'll be disappointed if it doesn't happen to me. Well, prepare.

Dude said Hell is real like that’s not his wishful thinking.

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Going to read everything I missed this time.

am i just retarded or is something wrong with me? but what's up with so many people not being able to communicate clearly? instead of being honest people are constantly lying about their wants and needs and intentions and then i am suppossed to pick up on every subtext? i don't get it. i get to a certain degree what they are tryingf to do but i just dont get why they wouldn't communicate properly. it helps no one.

Realizing just how fucking awful my family is has been one hell of an experience. Like holy shit, I thought this was normal. When I thought I was worthless I was better than everyone else and when I thought I was better than everyone else I was worthless. I'm just happy that I've both caught my narcissism and that this all didn't come from a place of pure hate and arrogance unlike the rest of my family who I now see are very consciously choosing to be the most hateful bullies and assholes on earth.

>>34475763
Did someone upset you? Also is this about text/online conversation? It's way easier to pick up on someone's intentions when you're talking to them and can hear their voice (and even easier when you can see their body language). Text-only conversation is terrible, but it's the primary way people communicate nowadays and that sucks.

How many ho's in this thread?...

>>34475798
it's about both. people often times communicate indirectly, it's not just a text thing, they do it in speech too, and they look at you, and you don't exactly know what that look on their face means, and it's there for just a split second, and you get a sense of it but at the same time it could mean all sort of things, but none of which will end in anything positive for you. people also constantly change how they feel and communicate with you, you may be thinking that things are going well for things to change from one second to another and all of a sudden, you are left to deal with that and act like everything is normal and fine.

>>34475820
As a chronic overthinker myself, you sound like you're overthinking things. No idea who you're interacting with or what the context is, but lately I've been stressed out over some girl who I can't get a read on, so I just started taking everything she says at face value and it makes me feel better. I don't care if I'm dumb or she thinks I'm dumb, because at worst she'll see me as a dumb optimist and I'm okay being that.

That said,
>it could mean all sort of things, but none of which will end in anything positive for you
If there really is no positive outcome, why stress yourself out interacting with this person in the first place? It sounds like they're not a very good person. Is this at work, or in school, or somewhere you can't avoid them?

>>34475775
Look your dad probably got drunk and yelled at your mom in public at Disneyland but at least you got to fucking go to Disneyland.

>>34475857
That literally doesn't excuse his behavior in the slightest and just proves my new found realization even further.

>>34475727
I hope you see everything I wrote for you

Are we ready to groove?

I just wish you were a better man. I wish you could be stronger for me

>>34475854
probably, i am just sad, nothing unexpected happened, i got my hopes up, omly to be met with silence all of a sudden, only to find out that she has a guy all of sudden, but at least she managed to get my hopes up before. same old shit.

and yeah i cant avoid them, but they also could have communicated more clearly instead of going no contact all of a sudden and communicating everyrhing else through passive means

>>34475973
>i got my hopes up, omly to be met with silence all of a sudden, only to find out that she has a guy all of sudden
That's the worst feeling ever. You deserve someone who actually respects you enough to communicate with you

>>34475763
>>34475973
nah nothing wrong with you you just met a deadbeat lol. be careful out there

sorry i don't dance with faggots

>>34475873
Anon, I was in a house where two drunk redneck parents screamed at their kids and then later on wished them goodnight. People are just naturally bipolar. My mother threatened me several times, but the next day gave me the best damn dinner in the world. You need to accept that your parents are human. Humans are fucked up anon. They ain't perfect.

>>34475978
>>34475984

i don't know, as mentioned before i was an idiot in the past and i had my chance and i fucked it up so badly and everything was complicated and heavy from the beignning this time and i guess now there is nothing left but even more regrets and i just have to continue on and act like everything is alrigjht. i am just tired dealing of dealing with this shit.

>>34475775
Good for you for realizing. Hope you can break the cycle
>>34475973
People like that always circle back once things go south with the other person. THEN they say they want to communicate now, they had time to think about it. Don't fall for that trap

>>34475988
And yeah maybe your dad is rough on you a lot, but as a kid he probably got beat up a lot and is afraid you'll face the same thing. Maybe it is protection anon.

>>34475987
Ragebait.

Zach you are retarded

I have a crush on someone ITT right now

i blame myself for everything. it was my fault for trusting you and it was my fault i believed something good could happen to me. why would you want me? what was i thinking? i just complicated everything for no reason didn't i. sorry for wasting your time

i just think the best thing i could do for you is to exit your life completely. you clearly just don't like me despite what you've convinced yourself of

>>34476020
What do you like about them?

i got carried away with my own delusions. you were just collateral

>>34476005
dude, i am fucking tired of waiting for any sort of future that might theoretically be better, it's shit now and it will be shit in the future and any romantic lies, i dont want to deal with this shit anymore, i don't want to pick up the pieces anymore, i dont want for time to pass and life to continue on like nothing happened, the whole thing is pointless. been there, done that, rinse, repeat. i can live a life that's completely neutral but fuck that shit and fuck a life that's nothing but disappointments. i don't want to deal with this shit anymore.

i'm sorry for dragging you through this

There's a gift somewhere in being autistic, but I've yet to realize it.

>>34476052
I get it. This sort of thing would break anyone's spirit. Fuck her

Someone who truly loves you will choose you the first time. Remember that

all the good times we shared used to be such good memories to me. i wish you hadn't done that because now these memories are ruined. i no longer have this place to go back to in my heart. this makes me cry

>>34476062
You're a 4channer!

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>>34476062
You all shit on autism so much it is ridiculous.