>chatting with a long term, transgender friend>mention something a classmate said to her when we were kids>"ohh remember when that guy said, 'hey, [friend's previous name], [blahblahblah]', haha!">she suddenly gets really upset and leaves the room>she has been crying actual tears for days>her friends have now told me it's horrible i "deadnamed" her>i need to apologize, reflect, etc.this is ridiculous. we are all in our 30s. i know it's pedantry but i was QUOTING someone who said something decades ago when she went by that name, those were just the syllables that the kid uttered. if we had an audio recording of the event, those are the sounds that would play.i want to patch things up but i know over-explaining this makes me look like some robot. it will just lead to an argument i can't win. i've otherwise tried very hard to use her name, pronouns, etc. but this one was just...very, very frustrating.do i simply bite the bullet and make up some forced apology? this has really gotten under my skin, but to everyone involved I'M not the "victim" here, i'm the "perpetrator".
Maybe I’m biased since I’m also some guy who uses 4chan, but your rationale for saying that doesn’t sound very robotic at all to me.I think you should apologize while explaining why you said what you did.I agree with you that this is juvenile behavior, but what else can you realistically expect out of a transgender person? They’re very mentally ill and insecure people.
>>34474617"Sorry I upset you."
You have to understand, anon. Trannies reject reality at a very basic level. If you HAD played a recording, the same exact thing would've happened. Truth is something that gets in the way of their malleable worldview
>>34474617You said it yourself. It will lead to an argument you can't win, and you had none the fault for it.Move on and get another friend. You don't need to baby impossible people.
>>34474617The plot twist is the tranny doesn't give a shit and those are fake crocodile tears meant for attention seeking. That's why they're trans to begin with, it's for attention. He knows that he gets a protected victim identity and all he has to do to get everyone running to fawn after him is cry like a victim. Your friend has a personality disorder probably, most trannies often do. That's why they have a very black-or-white outlook on the world "victim vs. perpetrator". In any single emotion they feel there has to be a victim (themselves) and a evil perpetrator (the person who they think made them feel bad). Even though it's impossible to be responsible for how someone else feels. The only time a human has responsibility for that is when they are a parent and it's their child, their little baby or infant child. But some people are stuck with arrested development and they genuinely think like a small child in the body of an adult. That's would be your friend btw. Seriously think about it. Pretend your tranny friend was in fact a baby a real baby in a diaper and you spoke too loud and the baby cried. And everyone around you is "shushing" you. And telling you to be quiet. That's the exact same shit that's happening but just with a pack of mentally ill adults. Get a new friend group
>>34474617>we are all in our 30s100% your own problem for not filtering earlier. you're a grown ass man, complaining to the Internet is pathetic
>>34474617Personally, I dislike having to walk on eggshells all the time when dealing with friendly relationships. I do if, say, dude gets divorced, I won't mention anything regarding marriage or something, or if someone's parents die for example, I will avoid mentioning 'mother' or 'father' for a while, but having to deal with it every single time as it seems to be the case with this friend you have, it just seems annoying... AND he makes a big deal out of it to others. It really does feel like it's done for attention more than something genuine.But I don't want to be unfair or tell you what to do, of course. I don't know him, I really shouldn't judge too harshly. If you really want to keep the relationship with him and the friend group you share, then unfortunately I guess you'll have to bite the bullet and apologize. You can say it wasn't your intention and all.But be prepared to be walk on eggshells even more from now on, I think.
good bait OP, you brought the incels to roost. not like it's that difficult
>>34474814Only an incel would fuck a tranny out of desperation
>>34474617Your friend needs to accept himself as a closeted gay man. Until then, it's not really possible for him to be your friend because he's going to put his delusions before your wellbeing. And on your side of things, you can't be his friend unless you're willing to try to help him work through his delusions.
>>34474834Now you're starting to understand how the incel-to-tranny pipeline is a real thing
>>34474617>SheDon't be a liar, you know what they are. Don't play that stupid game, be real and have some integrity.
you deadnamed her you sick fuck
>>34474617Troons are mentally ill play-pretenders who emotionally and socially blackmail others into reality denying tiptoeing insanity. It's not only childish it's downright abusive.
>>34474617>do i simply bite the bullet and make up some forced apology?Yes, you idiot, of course you do. You may not have intended to upset your friend, but you did upset her. That is a situation in which any normal person would apologise.
>>34475235He upset himself by thinking the world revolves around him. He is a narcissist in a dress
>>34475235Any normal person would never be in that situation in the first place because normal people do not indulge the mentally ill in self destructive obsessions.
>>34474617fuck tranny shit, you're not obligated to participate in sombody else's larp no matter how much they think you should be thrown in jail for it. you're already making way more effort with this shit than I would.
>>34474617sounds made up or you two were not that closeI hate 4chan trannies as much as the next 4channer because they're unbearable, (like chuds here, generally very unlikeable people end up here)but the ones I know irl do very dark and heavy jokes with close friends, everything is permitted as long as it's from someone that actually loves them as a friendwe share stories about their past as girls all the time (yeah my tranny friends are ftm, but they have brought their mtf tranny friends to parties too)
>>34475235grown-ups used to aspire to be rational. we all understand that we are emotional beings who get upset at times, but in everything from everyday matters to international diplomacy, you take off your feels hat and put on your thinking cap. that might sound a bit 'hurr durr enlightened atheist', but your post (trolling or otherwise) is a good example of a shift in culture. adults now behave like children.at the extreme end, it's harmful. one of the most common forms of therapy today is based on Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy. the whole purpose was to break down negative feelings and behaviors, and approach them in a more rational way. it was effective and improved lives. acting like a smug Twitter child throwing your toys around is doing the complete opposite.
>>34474617You're surprised that a mentally ill man had an irrational mentally ill reaction to something?
>>34474617Never negotiate with terrorists.
>>34475235While I agree that yeah, if you offended someone the obvious choice is to apologize, specially if they are your friend, it does become a bit grating and tiresome to have to predict things that will offend the other person every time, having to watch what you say every time, having to be super careful every time you have to interact with that person.Not saying they're bad or anything, they might be very kind and interesting, but sometimes you just don't match well with other people. You can apologize, wish them well, and slowly drift apart, while maintaining amicable relations.
>>34474617Trans ppl are mentally ill and experience extreme distress/anxiety whenever they perceive themselves as male. You accidentally made them do that so they had a melty. It's not really your fault. If you like them and want to keep being friends with them you can just apologize for triggering them out of ignorance without really admitting fault. It's just basic empathy dude.
>>34477412nicer way of putting it. it is perfectly possible to PERSONALLY offend someone, just like it is to embarrass or anger them.but intent is still a major factor. plus, people STRONGLY dislike being TOLD what to do, in a prescriptive way. of course you didn't want to hurt someone's feelings, so what WAS your intent? probably nothing."i'm sorry you felt sad" isn't an apology because that's not you admitting guilt."i'm sorry i stole money from your wallet" is apologizing for an action that you (hopefully) feel guilt for.language-wise, i'd be fine with>this is Bill, he's an Eskimo.>Inuit.>oh sorry, Inuit.most of those situations are fine to me.i'd never be fine with>not only were you ignorant of preferred terinnology, your action itself caused emotional distress to me, like the psychic equivalent of punching me in the face! THAT'S what you should feel guilt and shame for. this is snake shit. far more evil than simply using the wrong pronouns or calling someone a Siamese twin. in fact, actual oppressed groups are used to this and very rarely get bothered by it. i don't know why trans people do this, you've gone from 0 upset people to 2. gg.
>>34474617>her
