I don't see myself making it to old age. I've gotten everything I thought I wanted in life, beautiful girlfriend, comfortable job I'm passionate about, nice car, in good shape physically. None of that brings me any joy due to my severe anhedonia. It doesn't fill the utter pit of emptiness I feel inside. I've been on antidepressants and they didn't help at all. I've been through multiple therapists and none have made an impact on me. I hate the idea of getting old. I can't even see myself making it to 30 never mind 60 or 70 years old. Nothing makes me happy or brings peace to this inconsolable sadness I feel inside and I don't even know why I feel this way, that's what fucks me up the most. The things I want most cannot be gained in this current iteration of my life. I need a hard reset. I want to start my life again from the very beginning. I cannot continue living like this for a second longer.
I have read this for you and I conclude that you're probably gayhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Existential_crisis#Resolution
>>34476884>I want to start my life again from the very beginning. This is the right direction.To stop feeling nothing, you have to start over. Rest a few days doing absolutely nothing. Take a vacation. Stop worrying. Create a window where you are finally free from any responsibility and can just waste money or do shit to see what comes next. Remember that feeling.You can't avoid coming back to the rat race but some people then get this mindset "I'll just grind money so I can pursue a small measure of happiness other time again". They keep seeing the reward and each day passing quickly. Then they get their fix again.In other words, the more you introspect and philosophize, the more you sink on the thought that reality is inescapable. Stop thinking of the future. Get children, get a stressful job that ALLOWS for rest and minor failures. I won't recommend go drink but that's what people do. Get children and watch them grow, that's the fucking hardest drug of all.
I have of late--butwherefore I know not--lost all my mirth, forgone allcustom of exercises; and indeed it goes so heavilywith my disposition that this goodly frame, theearth, seems to me a sterile promontory, this mostexcellent canopy, the air, look you, this braveo'erhanging firmament, this majestical roof frettedwith golden fire, why, it appears no other thing tome than a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours.
>>34478294yeah
>>34476884Ime, depression is part of a cycle of be depressed -> gain interest or enthusiasm in something -> win (even if winning is learning) -> relief/peace -> immense wave of depression You just allow the depression and meaning forms (ime)
>>34476884Lmao it's not anhedonia. It's just boring. All that shit sounds boring, boring, boring, boring. And instead of recognising that, you've been brainwashed into thinking your brain is the issue here. Lmao>The things I want most cannot be gained in this current iteration of my life. Which are...? Better not be something stupid brainwashed into you again!
>anhedoniano, op. you are just a boring person, thats all. almost all people born after 2004 are boring af.but thats a-ok. we are in a times of change. just keep pushing thru
We have become numb.
